Interview Meme

I've "met" quite a few people through blogging that I don't know in real life. It's fun to meet new people in this way. Many of the people on my blogroll are people who differ significantly from me in philosphy and lifestyle, and others are people with whom I have a lot in common. I have at least something in common with each of them, even if it be only a love of words or the parenting of small children, and I feel I learn something from all of them.

One of the people I've most enjoyed getting to know through our blogs, e-mails and telephone conversations is Running2Ks of True-Blue Semi-Crunchy Mama. I appreciate her positive outlook on life, enthusiasm and friendliness.

She's hanging up her blogging hat to focus on other writing and on real life, so this post is sort of my goodbye post to her. I'll definitely miss her blog and her visits here.

Best wishes to you, R2Ks!

Back in September 2005, Running2Ks did an interview meme, and I volunteered to be interviewed. It took me this long to answer the questions because, well, I'm a terrible procrastinator and some of these questions are hard.

If any readers would like me to interview you, just say so in the comments and I'll come up with some questions to ask you.


Here are R2K's questions and my answers:

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Purple, you inspiring mama, here are your questions (just link back here whenever you finish them):

1. You homeschool, and I know that you dress for teaching. Do you follow a curriculum, formality, structure, or do you plan to unschool?

We are being pretty flexible this year, especially with the kids being so young and adding a new baby to the family. We do projects and workbooks, but largely just take the learning opportunities as they come. A lot of our learning happens in the car and over the dinner table as we have conversations and practice skills. We do lots of crafts, and the kids enjoy working in workbooks and learning through music. We also read lots of books.

Next year I do plan to be more structured. I probably won't be involved in any other committments during the day so that I can focus on the kids' schooling. We'll have lesson plans that will include a combination of textbooks/workbooks along with lots of stories, hands-on activities, field trips, and student-led learning.

The approach my mom took with my sisters and me, and that I plan to take with my kids, is to have a somewhat flexible but structured approach. We'll probably have regular school hours with curriculum that can be tailored to each child's learning styles and needs while making sure all the important subject areas are covered.

I doubt we'll ever pick a particular curriculum line to use exclusively; I like being able to put together a variety of materials to meet our needs and each child's learning style and interests.

2. What is your greatest wish for yourself now? And when the children are grown and you “retire”?

Talk about a deep philosophical question. I guess I'd say my wish, both now and in the future, is to have balance and peace in my life, and to be effective in fulfilling the tasks at hand. To have my life be significant in some small way. To fulfill my purpose, I guess. Above all to please the Lord and draw continually closer to Him, and to draw others toward a richer life in Him.

3. As I said before, I’m a big fan of lottery questions, so if you won a big lottery (more than paying off bills and debt; like, you can retire on this money), what would you do?

I'd let DH quit his job if he wanted to, and we'd probably travel and be involved in some kind of ministry. To me, the biggest advantage would be more time together as a family.

4. If you took the family to another country for a homeschooling vacation, where would you go and what would you study?

Well, we did just go to Mexico. I love it there and would enjoy going again any time. When the kids are older I'd love to take a trip like I got to do as a young adult, traveling around to visit missionaries and local families, see the places where my Dad grew up, and learn the language and culture.

I'd also love to go to Israel and study the places mentioned in the Bible, and to go to Europe (specifically England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, The Netherlands, and Czechoslovakia) to learn more about where my ancestors came from and who they were.

Can I list every place in the world? We have family all over the place, and someday I hope to visit some of them in places like Kuwait, Indonesia, China and Sri Lanka.

5. If you could time-travel back to your teenage years, what would you tell yourself?

What a hard question. I really don't know. Maybe a reminder to relish life and to work on developing important life skills like organization. That progress is more important than perfection. To keep up the good work, and continue pursuing God and the truly important things.

You still have a lot of growing and learning to do, but you're on the right path. Don't get discouraged. You are loved so much more even than you understand. That sort of thing. The same things I'll probably tell my kids when they're that age.

Tree TV

Who knew that standing around watching two guys cut down a tree would be such scintillating entertainment, capable of whiling away an entire midmorning and afternoon?

FMW didn't end up coming over today, so tree-watching was the order of the day.

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I would highly recommend this tree company, Tree Works NW. They seemed extremely competent, safety-conscious and professional. The men worked hard and were organized and tidy in the way they went about the task. I didn't hear a cross word between the two guys (or toward the tree!) all day, even though they kept up a chatter at a volume to be heard through ear plugs and above the chipping machine.

They were friendly and went out of their way to find out how I wanted things done and do the job to my satisfaction, even though I wanted a couple of things done differently than was their standard (such as saving some of the bigger branches as well as the main logs for firewood).

The arborist who came out to do the free tree inspection and bid a few weeks ago was the same one who came to work today. He seemed to really like my kids (has several of his own) and goes to church with my grandparents. He and the guy helping him both seemed very nice.

Plus, this company charged about half the price of the other bids we got.

All three kids and myself were practically glued to the windows watching them work.

I told the arborist, "Wow, you guys are better than TV!"

He laughed, "Better than TV?! Anything's better than TV . . . that's no compliment!"

I could have said it was almost as good as going to the zoo instead, but I wasn't sure they'd take that as a compliment, either.

Our own little meal ministry

It's so nice to have to have a little more energy again. I'm going to have to really be careful to pace myself so that I don't burn out and throw myself into survival mode for a few weeks again.

I certainly can't keep up the pace I set this week.

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Yesterday I introduced AJ and MM to their new chore charts. I wrote their morning routines on construction paper with simple illustrations. We went through the routine and I showed them how to make their beds. Their room is fairly decluttered and organized now, so I want to help them develop routines to keep it that way.

The girls were thrilled. They enjoyed looking at their charts to see what job was next, and then the sense of accomplishment when each task was finished.

Tonight I made sticker charts for each of them. They'll get a sticker when their morning routine is finished, and another for doing their evening routine. They can earn extra stickers by doing special extra jobs and other things, also. I made a star in every 10th space and a smiley face in every 50th space. Whenever they put a sticker in a space with a star, they'll get a small reward. It may be that I'll play a special game with them, make cookies, or let them pick out a cheap trinket as a prize. When they get to the spaces with smiley faces, there will be a bigger reward.

After we finished chores yesterday morning, the little boy I used to take care of came over with his mom for a playdate. JJ is right between my girls in age--8 months younger than AJ and 8 months older than MM. The three of them had such a wonderful time playing together, and my friend and I had fun visiting and playing with Baby E. We've really missed seeing them regularly--for a while (even before I started taking care of JJ) we were together so much that my kids called JJ's mom "the other mommy".

Shortly after they left, my friend Elementary Schoolteacher came by for a little while. She brought some books on child development for me to borrow and a behavior chart she'd made for my kids, in case I wanted to try using it.

She left just as it was time for me to go pick up my sister Amy (who doesn't drive yet) to babysit the two older girls while DH and I went to our couples Bible study. We ended up taking Baby E with us because I ran out of time to pump some milk to leave for her, but that was fine. We've only left her with someone else a handful of times since she was born, so we usually take her to group anyway.

After we got home, I started some food cooking in both crock pots before bed to take a meal to a friend, and for our own dinner tonight.

The friends we were supposed to have over Sunday afternoon (the ones with the cat), Former Military Couple, had not come because the husband was sick--they thought with a stomach virus. As he got sicker and sicker, it turned out that he had a ruptured appendix which was badly infected. He ended up having emergency surgery Sunday night.

This morning I made wheat-free muffins to take along with the chicken meal to FMC's house. (She has some dietary restrictions too.)

Then I ended up taking their two kids (almost 2 years, and 3 months) along to another (mutual) friend's house nearby so Former Military Woman could run some errands while we visited and had lunch. I brought a chicken dish along for our lunch also (the leftovers from Sunday's dinner) and ended up leaving it with my friend Budding Artist for them to have the rest for supper tonight.

On the way home I called to check in on my grandparents to ask how they were doing and if they needed anything. Grandma said that Grandpa is still pretty sore and "out of it", but seems to be doing fairly well so far after his hip surgery. I'll probably drive out to see them next week when he's more up to visiting.

When we got home, I took a nap with Baby E while the other two girls had quiet time and then watched a video. Baby E and I are both starting to come down with colds, so the nap was much-needed, especially since neither of us got much sleep last night.

When we woke up, we all went out in the front yard and the two older girls rode tricycles in the driveway while Baby E played in the pack-n-play and I did some yardwork. It was nice to be out in the sun and the fresh air.

We ended up eating dinner late because we lost track of the time, so I didn't start cooking rice to eat with our roast beef until after DH got home from work and took over with the kids in the yard while I went inside.

Just as I was finishing making supper, I talked to CreativeCrafty (the friend whose preemie baby finally got to come home from the hospital last week) on the phone. The roast was bigger than we'd eat in a week, so rather than freezing most of the leftovers I had decided to call and see if they'd like to have some of it.

The timing was perfect. When I called at 7 p.m. she had no idea what they were going to eat. She was at the end of her rope with exhaustion and dealing with a fussy, non-sleeping newborn.

CC and her husband The Motivator have all the normal new parent anxieties and adjustments, multiplied several times by the worry of having a preemie baby with the issues that come along with that. After spending 41 days sitting in the hospital watching alarms go off on their baby, I can only imagine how hard it is to adjust to being at home and on their own with their son.

She asked me burning questions like, "How do you survive when you're not getting any sleep?" and "How do you keep from losing your mind???" while I encouraged her that her feelings and struggles are normal and that things will (eventually) get better.

Since I didn't want to expose the baby to my cold, DH took the meal over to them. He got to visit a bit and hold the baby, too.

So I ended up providing meals to 3 families today, in addition to my own. :)

Tomorrow FMW may be bringing her kids over for a while in the afternoon, depending on whether her husband gets discharged from the hospital or not. We also have a tree specialist coming to cut down a dying tree in our backyard before it falls on anyone.

On Thursday I'm not going to plan a thing. I need at least one day this week where I don't go anywhere or have anyone over. Thursday night, though, DH is going to go over to The Malamute Rescuers' house (our friends from small group who babysat for us a couple of weeks ago). The wife and new baby are gone for the week on a business trip, so DH is going to care for their two older kids while the husband goes to his men's group.

Friday, my friend Morning is coming over to be fitted for a blouse I'm sewing for her. In the evening we might be going to miraclebaby's house and bringing them dinner. (She's on bedrest for the rest of her pregnancy.)

On Saturday DH has a church-related meeting, then we're babysitting for The Malamute Rescuers' kids so they can go on a date, and then our friends Fellow Journalist and Computer Programmer Guy are coming over for dinner.

Thankfully, I don't have mom's group this week (although I do need to make some phone calls to my group). This is definitely not a typical week. Having a couple of friends in need added several more activities that hadn't been planned ahead of time. I'm so thankful to be able to help in these ways when there's a need, though. Preparing meals and helping with childcare are things DH and I can do even with our own small children to take care of.

Monday Memories: Beaker the Japanese Koi

I've been watching the Monday Memories occasionally on a few other blogs (most notably Running2Ks blog), and thinking it would be fun to participate. So for the first time this week, I'm jumping in and playing along. The idea is just that you post a memory about pretty much anything, I think, and link to others doing the same thing.

Today I'm posting about one of my most memorable pets: a fish named Beaker.

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Note: There are a number of HTML errors in the Monday Memories code linked at the bottom of this post, so if you want to participate and want the corrected code, drop me a note and I'll e-mail it to you.

Monday Memories: Did I ever tell you about Beaker the Fish I had a lot of pets throughout my childhood--everything from frogs and snakes to dogs and cats. A few, though, were quite unusual. One of these less-typical pets was a japanese koi. People don't usually expect a large golden pond fish to have much personality, but Beaker did. We got him when he was small, and he eventually grew quite large--at least the length of my forearm and hand. He was extraordinarily friendly and would follow us around the pond. The year the pond froze over, he followed us under the ice as we slid across the surface. Beaker would come swimming over to the side of the pond whenever someone approached, even if they weren't feeding him. We called him by dabbling our fingers in the water and saying his name. It was actually our cats who taught him this--they would drink out of the pond, and Beaker would swim over to them. It was a strange and wonderful sight to see a cat and a fish bumping noses in a friendly fashion. For some reason (maybe because of his size?) our cats never tried to catch Beaker. They would sit and watch him, and when he came close they greeted him as though he were another cat. Beaker not only came when called; he liked to be petted. I'd dabble my fingers in the water and call his name, and he would come over and stick his nose out of the water for me to gently stroke it. Beaker liked to eat fish food, worms, and insects. But the best treat to feed him was brine shrimp. We'd mix them with a little water and feed them to the fish out of an old baby bottle with an enlarged hole in the nipple. He liked that a lot, and it was fun to show off that trick for visitors. With patience and lots of worms, we taught him many tricks. He would sit up in the water and beg for worms with his head sticking out into the air above. One of my favorite tricks was getting him to swim through a hoop. I'd hold my hands underwater with my fingers forming a ring, and he would swim through. Then we'd do a trick I called "fish on a pedestal". I'd hold my hand flat under the water, and Beaker would swim on top of it and stay there while I lifted him out of the water. He'd stay there for a few moments before flopping back into the pond. Beaker was a lot of fun, and we grew very attached to him. The neighborhood kids and visitors to our home always liked to see him perform tricks or hold the baby bottle for him to eat brine shrimp. One time, I remember a business acquaintance of my dad's came up to the pond to see Beaker. He was so amazed at the fish's tricks that he stepped back from the pond and went tumbling head over heels down the steep hill. Thankfully, he wasn't hurt, and laughed about it for years afterwards. We were vigilant about Beaker's safety, nursing him back to health in an aquarium when he got sick and chasing stray cats and great blue herons away from the pond. Unfortunately, a local heron finally succeeded at pulling Beaker out of the pond, even though the fish was too big for the bird to eat. My sisters and I cried when we found Beaker left gashed and lifeless on the bank of the pond. We had a little funeral for him and buried him in a special corner of the garden with a marker on his grave. Links to other Monday Memories (If you participate, leave your link in the comments and I'll post it below) Lynda Beckie Shelli Ocean Lady Jen Rowan

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Husband Points

DH stopped to get yesterday's mail on the way home from church today. As he came in the front door, he said, "Well, I'm disappointed in this magazine."

Looking over his shoulder, I saw that he was holding a copy of babytalk magazine.

"Why?" I asked, "What is it this time?"

I was expecting a comment about the female-centric, father-devaluing articles these magazines so often print (such as How to Use Toddler-Parenting Tricks, Reverse Psychology and a Witholding/Award System to Manipulate Your Husband Into Not Acting as Dumb as We Editors Think Men Really Are).

Instead, he sighed heavily and said, "There's an article on The Coolest Mama-Blogs, and yours isn't mentioned anywhere. It should be here."

I have no illusions of grandeur, but it's nice to know I have a fan.

Random Updates

I thought it might be a good idea to give updates on several things I've posted about in the past, rather than just leaving you all hanging. If there's anything I missed that you were wondering about an update on, post in the comments and I'll probably add an update about it.

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* For anyone who was waiting for me to follow up on the abortion discussion, there's a thread over on Mark's blog where we're having quite an interesting discussion about it.

Feel free to hop over and read it. You can leave comments there or here if you'd like to add to the conversation. There are links in that thread to a couple of my older posts on the topic as well.

* I am still occasionally making small progress on the Terri Schiavo research, but that isn't going much of anywhere at the moment--I just don't have the time and energy to devote to it, and other things are demanding my attention.

* Baby E, obviously, has passed the danger of botulism poisoning with no ill-effects. We were praying that either the honey she ate wouldn't have botulism spores in it or her system would be strong enough to handle them. Apparently one or the other of those was the case.

Needless worry? Maybe. But I now know lots of interesting facts about botulism poisoning and why infants shouldn't eat honey. As a friend said to me, "Somebody needs to take your computer away!"

* I'm not pregnant, even though we thought I might be for several weeks. Apparently it is possible to get nursing-induced amennorhea after 3 months of regularity following the birth of a baby. Even when AF arrived like clockwork after all three children.

The only thing I'm really doing differently is that I'm probably taking a little better care of myself this time around. Better self-care may or may not have anything to do with it, but it's a good thing anyway.

* AJ does not have to have the invasive, expensive test which involves shooting her bladder with high levels of radiation.

After her pain cleared up on its own the day after we saw the doctor, I called the office again. I asked if she still needed to take the medication, and why she needed the VCUG test.

The doctor we had seen (who was actually a physician's assistant and not a doctor) wasn't in, so the advice nurse asked another doctor about the medicine. He looked at the test results and said that because of the type and number of bacteria present in her urine, she really should take the antibiotics.

As for the VCUG, the nurse just told me they couldn't help me with that since the person who prescribed it wasn't there.

We gave AJ the antibiotics along with acidophilus to help counteract side effects, and that worked out fine.

When a nurse called the next week to give me a number I should call to schedule the test, I stopped her. I said that I didn't want to schedule the test before I talked to the doctor about what the test was for and why he was recommending it. She said that I could talk to her about it and she could answer my questions. Her explanation of the test fit with what I'd discovered in my research.

When I asked the nurse why AJ needed this test, she said, "Well, it's to check for reflux of the bladder. I'm assuming she's had recurrent urinary tract infections?"

"No," I said, "she hasn't. This is her first one." I explained that she has had several incidents of anxiety about potty accidents that we and the doctor decided were stress-induced. The last one was about 6 months ago. She's always tested negative for a UTI before. Since she had just had several days of sever diarrhea and being in a pull-up after 10 days in Mexico, it seemed more logical to me to assume that this UTI was from that rather than from a chronic issue.

"Oh," said the nurse. "That's strange. You're right; she doesn't fit into the group of kids we would normally send for this test. I'll talk to the doctor about it and ask why he's recommending it. If I don't call you back, it's all okay and she doesn't need the test after all."

She never called back.

So I guess "it's all okay." Except that it's so not. If I hadn't been insistent about getting some answers, my child would have been subjected to a completely unnecessary test.

It's a good thing I ask questions.

* On a related note, I still haven't found a good pediatrician yet. I've made a number of phone calls, searched the internet, and asked friends, but with no success so far. We did switch back to our family practice doctor after trying the new doctor we didn't like, but we'd like to find an excellent pediatrician for the kids (although I'll stay with our family practice Dr).

I want to find a doctor that likes and is good with kids, and sees preventive maintenance as important to health. One that has a balanced approach between necessary medical intervention and keeping things as non-invasive as possible. One who isn't turned off by the fact that I research and ask questions, but who will take my concerns seriously.

I need to find someone who is willing to give Baby E her vaccinations one at a time, a month apart. Someone who is good at dealing with family history of allergies and our other health issues.

Preferably, I'd like to find a doctor who treats me with respect as though a mother of three might actually know something about raising kids, and about what is or isn't normal for her kids. That would be nice.

I did find out that the doctor who was my pediatrician when I was a kid is still practicing, and still taking patients. I plan to call his office and ask some questions.

* I finally get the uneven filling on my front tooth fixed a couple of weeks ago. The dentist had the grace not to charge me for it. They wanted to schedule me for more dental work. Since DH's dental coverage just changed (for the better), I told them that I was going to try to switch to the dentist my parents and sisters use. That's the dentist I really wanted all along, and I think our new insurance will cover it.

I am ashamed to say that when she acted hurt and surprised that I was (*gasp*) switching to another dentist, I told the dental assistant that it was because the other office is so much closer to my house (5-10 minutes as opposed to 15-20). Of course, then she had to tell me about all the patients who travel from halfway across the continent and even from other countries, not to mention a long list of other states, just to get dental care there.

I didn't feel like telling her that the reason I was switching was because I was unhappy with the dental care I'd gotten.

Now I'm wondering if I should call or write a note to tell them the real reason I don't want to let that dentist work on my teeth again. But I really, really would rather not. I emphatically do not enjoy confrontation.

* My grandfather finally had hip surgery this week. He's still in the hospital, and my MIL kindly went with me Thursday evening to watch the kids so I could visit with him.

He'll be in the hospital for a few days yet, and we're praying for a quick and complete recovery for him. I hope this will make a big difference in his pain and mobility levels.

Incidentally, he refused the general anesthesia and the spinal block during surgery. That's my grandpa for you.

* Baby C, the little boy born early to our friends from church, finally got to go home from the hospital this week. 41 days was a long wait for his parents to get to take him home, and we're so happy for them.

* Annika, at falling down is also a gift, is still home from the hospital even though she has had another bleed already. She's working on gaining strength to prepare for another liver transplant.

It looks like January's bills may be covered by their insurance company after all, but they're leaving Annika's Internet Insurance Policy open to prepare for the inevitable future needs.

I am making a crocheted throw to donate. I'm almost a third of the way finished with it and I like the way it's turning out. It's yellow with flowers and a butterfly in filet crochet panels. I will, of course, post pictures when it's done. When I finish it, I'll have to ask Annika's parents if they'd rather have it sold as a fundraiser, or if they'd just like it for Annika to cuddle under. I wonder which they'll choose?

* Baby E has been sleeping better and life has been more manageable for about a week now. Hooray! She is also emphatically wanting DOWN to play on the floor most of the time, and eating more solids than I would have thought possible. In the last day or two she added the N sound and the word "ah-dew" (water) to her vocabulary.

* After being sporadic at best, we've finally started officially doing school again this week.

AJ is reading constantly, so now I'm having to work with her on understanding why she can't walk around with a book open in front of her nose all day and night. Books she's read recently include The Boxcar Children, Haffertee Hamster Diamond, Just Mrs. Goose, and Smokey the Well-Loved Kitten--all chapter books.

She's also learning her 2 and 3 addition tables with a music tape so she can practice doing math mentally (she's fairly proficient now with fingers or objects to count), and is enjoying her first grade math workbook, too. She's working on improving her writing skills, and when she can write the entire upper- and lower-case alphabet and numbers 1-10 clearly and without help she will earn a prize.

MM is sounding out simple words, adding on her fingers, and doing a kindergarten match skills workbook. She's listening to the 1 addition table on the music tape, and doing some writing exercises also. She still really enjoys hands-on, tactile activities, but she's very excited about her workbooks right now and is asking to work in them. She's improved immensely in attention span and in following directions.

Both girls are learning to cut and paste, pick up their toys, clear and set the table, and put away their clothes. They love to play outside and run around the house, have tea parties, play imaginary games, and entertain Baby E. They like doing art projects and putting together puzzles.

* I'm still working to catch up on housework but am making really good progress. My goal isn't perfection, but consistent progress sure is nice.

* We've added various foods gradually back into our diet, and now we're avoiding only soy and most dairy products. We're still limiting refined sugars and eating lots of whole grains and fresh produce. I'm using the crock pot a lot, which makes life easier.

* No, I haven't cut or dyed my hair yet. But I plan to do that and renew my prescription for contact lenses soon.

Crawling Comparison

I dug up some photos of the other two girls when they were close to Baby E's age for comparison.

Baby E:





AJ:






MM:

First Words

(Photo: AJ and MM a few years ago, at about 2 years and 9 months old.)

Eleventy-one things about me, #37: I was an early talker.

I just got off the phone with my mom, and she was chuckling at my blog post of yesterday. She said that of course Baby E could really be talking at 7 months.

My mom says I was talking at 5 or 6 months--and not just babbling barely understandable words, either. People would stop her in the grocery store and say "Did your baby really just say what I thought she said?" They would ask my age and then promptly inform her that I was NOT old enough to be doing that.

I think most babies are probably talking sooner than people think. The words aren't always recognizable, but they fit the linguist's criteria of using the same sounds consistently to apply to the same object or action each time. Baby E has been doing this for quite some time.

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All of my kids were saying something that sounded an awful lot like "hi" well before they were 6 months old. But most people, if you tell them your kid is saying words so much before the accepted age of talking--well, don't believe you. They'll look at you tolerantly and make some comment about how babies make lots of noises, and some of them happen to sound similar to words.

I'm sure that babies understand and can communicate much more than we think. It's our ability to decode what they are trying to say that's often lacking.

I remember when AJ was learning to talk, she would come running up to DH or me and launch into a long monologue. She would babble away, changing her tone and gesturing expressively, but we couldn't understand a word of it. It was almost like she was speaking whole paragraphs in another language.

We'd say something non-committal like, "Oh, really? Is that so?" and she'd happily continue telling us all about whatever it was.

I'm sure she knew what she was trying to say, and I really don't think she was just making random noises for the sake of hearing her own voice. She was trying to tell us something.

MM started talking quite early, too. I say she was talking by 11 months, but 11 months was when she was using words and phrases that strangers could easily understand. She was starting to talk long before that.

It's actually quite difficult to pinpoint a baby's first word. All baby books have a space to write what and when the first word was, but that's always been difficult for me.

Do I write down the first time she said "I!" in greeting when I popped my head over the edge of the crib? The day last month when she looked at Daddy and said, "da-da" then turned to Grandpa and said, "do-da" and repeated those sounds in connection with each of them several times? Or do I write down the first time she says something that anyone outside the family would recognize as a word upon hearing it?

I don't think language acquisition is something that happens in a distinct event. It's a continuum more than an event. When a baby goes from trying out random sounds to attaching a particular meaning to a given set of sounds is almost impossible to isolate.

It's sure fun to watch it happen, though.

By the way, my first word as a baby was "cottage cheese container".

My parents were sitting at the table with me, telling me what various things were called as I pointed at them. I gestured at the cottage cheese container with a quizzical sound, and they said, "That's a cottage cheese container."

They couldn't believe their ears when their 5-month-old responded by repeating, "cottage cheese container". I'm sure it didn't sound quite exactly like that, but according to my parents it was very close.

From that point on I started saying everything. I went from "Hi" to "Hi, Daddy" to complete sentences in no time.

So I guess it's not that strange that my kids are doing the same thing.

Entertaining each other

Baby E is now moving seamlessly from sitting, to rocking on her knees, to crawling on her belly and then back again to sitting. She's extremely active and very fast.

She's a child who requires lots of stimulation, so it's a good thing she has two older sisters who provide lots of interesting activity to watch and are happy to play with her.

I'm so thankful to have kids that generally enjoy each other's company.



Yesterday Baby E and I stepped out of the room for a moment while the girls were playing, and came back to this sight:

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All three girls love books. Now that AJ is reading so well they don't have to wait for me to have story time.



I wish you could hear AJ reading with perfect articulation and pacing: "I, the Amazing Mumford, will now perform my AMAZING COLOR TRICK. Watch closely while I pull from this perfectly empty hat . . . something that is red, something that is yellow, something that is blue and something that is green. A LA PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES! BLAM! . . . "

I'll have to see if I can get a decent microphone and record her reading sometime.

Genius baby or delusional mamma?

The last few days Baby E has taken a nap right at lunch time. It means that the three girls won't all be resting at the same time, but it has the unexpected bonus of giving me time to sit down and eat lunch with the other girls in a relaxed way. I get to focus on them and enjoy the conversation without Baby E's clamoring for food or attention. The girls and I really enjoy that.

Today we ate cream of pea and lettuce soup, which was quite surprisingly good, along with homemade bread. We talked about everything from art projects to chores.

We discussed the idea of a temporary trial of cat ownership. Then we talked about how the girls enjoyed their evening with the babysitter last night. We tried to remember the words to a song on a video the kids watched recently. Finally, we talked about how we'd like to get our house cleaner and more organized so it will be more pleasant to live in and give us more space and time for other things, and how that means we will all have to help more with chores around the house and keeping things neat.

It was a relaxed, cheerful and enjoyable lunch time together.

Just as the older girls were settled in for quiet time, Baby E woke up. Although I was hoping to get a nap, the individual time with her is fun.

Especially after having some time away from the kids the last few days, I'm finding myself really relishing my interactions with them.

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Baby E is not really a cuddler. She'll give me hugs, leaning her head on my shoulder and relaxing into my arms. But, unless she's falling asleep, it only lasts a minute or two. Before long she's squirming to get down or leaning out to look around and get a view of my face.

She is, however, an extremely social little person. As we noticed soon after her birth, eye contact is extremely important to her.

It's obvious that Baby E is a born communicator. She's always communicated volumes with her eyes and facial expressions. That little lift of the eyebrows and the huge grin are her tickets to charm. But now she's increasingly trying to communicate more specifically, and learning to use her voice and hands for that purpose.

At 7 months, Baby E claps, waves, and lifts her arms to be picked up. She communicates very clearly whether she wants to nurse or isn't interested when I'm trying to feed her. When she wants solids she becomes very vocal about it, following our food with her eyes, whole body leaning toward it, mouth open wide. Her way of communicating hunger is a deep-throated, wide-mouthed "aaaah" sound.

She rubs her eyes when she's tired and pats her ear when it hurts. She pushes my hands away when she doesn't want to get dressed--which is most of the time. And she laughs with joy and reaches for a book or toy when someone offers it to her.

The last day or two, though, I'm wondering if we have a genius child or if I just have an overactive imagination.

She definitely understands much of what we say, and reacts appropriately to various words and phrases. But I think she's starting to talk already.

Baby E really seems to be developing words and signals that are connected to particular people or actions. Last night she looked right at DH and said "da-da-da" very pointedly. She's been saying "at, at" and "aay" when she claps her hands--probably because I say "clap clap" and "yay" when we clap and so she associates the action with those sounds.

A few minutes ago I went and got E up from her nap, saying, "Hi, there! Are you ready to get up?" She met me with a big grin, raising her body to meet me as I picked her up. She put her arms around me and laid her head on my shoulder, so I sat in the rocking chair with her to cuddle a bit.

A minute later she started rocking her body back and forth insistently. When I started rocking the chair, she grinned and relaxed to enjoy the ride. When I stopped, she made rocking motions with her body again and relaxed when I started rocking once more.

Then she started saying "Ah dah! Ah dah!" She was saying it over and over, more and more loudly. She seemed so frustrated and insistent that I felt she was trying to say something specific. I repeated, "Ah dah? Dada? Are you saying Dada?"

That didn't satisfy her at all. She grabbed my shirt with both hands, looking into my face intently and almost shouting.

"Ah dah! Ah dah! AH DAH!!!!"

Suddenly I realized what it sounded like and said, "Hi there?"

Baby E broke into a huge grin and her whole body quivered in affirmation. She said it once more, triumphantly: "Ah dah."

I responded, "Hi there!" and she smiled again, relaxed, got quiet and turned her attention to something else.

Soon I started playing with her hands, trying to get her to clap and clapping my own hands, and then moved onto another game. A little while later she grabbed my hands and studied them intently for a while, turning them over to look at both sides. She played with them for some time, just moving my fingers and examining my hands.

Then Baby E started saying "At! At!" She grabbed my hands and started moving them toward each other and then apart in a clapping motion, saying "At, at!" the whole time--one "at" for each time my hands came together.

Her little wise eyes were so intense as she taught me how to clap.

A few minutes ago I brought her into the office with me and sat down to nurse her while I posted. She wasn't interested in that for long, and suddenly arched her back and grunted, writhing hard. When I didn't immediately figure out what she wanted she escalated into a full-blown tantrum. It all happened so quickly that I thought she had somehow gotten hurt or was in pain, but I couldn't figure out anything wrong.

She got more and more upset and seemed to be trying to wrest herself out of my grasp. I could barely hold onto her anyway, so I sat her on the carpet next to me. Immediately she cooed happily and started playing.

She just wanted down.

This child, at 7 months, already knows what she wants and has specific things she wants to communicate. She gets very frustrated when we don't understand.

I'm thinking she's a very good candidate for learning baby signs.

Both of the other girls' desire to communicate kept fairly well in pace with their abilities. We used some signs with them but not a whole lot. It just never seemed like a big necessity, because they were able to communicate most of what they wanted to get across to us.

AJ was more immersed in her own world and less interested in communicating, but often made up her own signs and gestures when she did want to tell us something (such as patomiming picking up Cheerios off her palm and eating them when she was hungry).

MM was a very early talker, and was walking and talking at 11 months (while still wearing 3-6 month size clothes). Anything she wanted to say, she just said it.

Neither one of them really had many tantrums over wanting to communicate something they couldn't make us understand. They generally either got us to understand or shrugged it off.

Baby E, though, is already getting so incredibly frustrated when she wants to communicate something to us and we don't "get it." So I'm starting to teach her some of the signs we learned with the other girls.

If that seems to work well I'm going to have to find a book or video to learn more about baby signing. Any recommendations would be welcome.

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the ride.

Well and Good

We left all three kids with the new babysitter tonight while we attended small group, and it seemed to go very well. Although it felt a bit strange, it was nice to be able to concentrate on the Bible study, worship and prayer time without the distraction of the growingly active and vocal Baby E.

When my turn to share prayer requests came, it was nice to be able to say that I'm doing really well.

We're finally over being sick, Baby E and I are starting to get more sleep, and I actually have energy again. I was telling DH today that it feels like I've been walking around with foggy glasses (the hot dishwasher effect), and all of a sudden I can see clearly again.

I really do think that the comments, prayers and e-mails this week helped too. I really needed a bit of an attitude adjustment and needed to seek God and change my focus. That along with the improvements in our health and Baby E's sleeping and eating habits has made a big difference in just a few days.

Getting a bit of extra help and some time out with DH was helpful too. Of course, the sunshine we've been having doesn't hurt either.

It's good to feel good.

Normalizing?

Baby E has been gradually improving in her sleep habits over the past several days. Last night she slept all night in her crib, waking only 4 times to eat. We've instituted a brief routine that we carry out every time we lay her down to sleep, and it's starting to get easier to put her to bed.

She's decided that she is definitely ready to eat significant amounts of solids, preferably 2-3 times a day.

The result of all this is that I'm starting to actually feel human again. I've had moderate amounts of energy the last few days. DH and I have been spending time together interacting and working on moving the house toward some sort of order.

We're not anywhere near where we want to be yet, but we're making progress. Just the fact that we're moving toward our goals of getting more sleep and making our home more livable and clutter-free is so encouraging.

The older kids are being fairly normal, with occasional whininess and spats, but mostly being their sweet, bright and generally well-behaved selves.

Things are starting to seem more manageable. Which means it's time to think about adding another wrench to the workings of our life, right?

Like, maybe, a new family member?

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No, not another baby.

We had some friends over after church today, and they asked us to consider taking one of their two cats. Long story, but the cat needs a new home primarily because they'll be moving and are having a hard time finding a place that will allow them to have pets, much less more than one pet.

The cat is a sweet, friendly creature who loves to cuddle and play. This is an adult indoor cat that is used to living with young children and actually likes them, and will put up with a lot without trying to scratch anyone. It prefers a scratching post to tearing up furniture and carpets, is used to having its claws clipped, and supposedly it doesn't shed much (what "not much" means is another question). It does have a litterbox issue--if the box isn't clean enough, the cat goes next to the litterbox instead of in it.

I hadn't envisioned adding another pet to the family at this point in our lives. Puff the hamster is a nice addition that doesn't require too much care and attention. She's nice to have around and not hard to care for, and the kids enjoy watching her through the glass of her cage and talking about her to their friends.

A cat, though, is a whole different level of pet. Hair everywhere, a litterbox to clean, nails to clip and a coat to groom, equipment to buy, vet bills to pay for. Since I used to be a veterinary assistant and know quite a bit about animals, I would be able to take care of many things a vet normally does, like giving most of the shots. But still, when a hamster or a fish gets sick you don't usually take it to the vet. A cat we would have to take to the vet occasionally.

As a kid, I never envisioned myself as a person who didn't have lots of animals around me. I always thought I'd have a variety of pets throughout my life. When DH and I first got married, I desperately wanted a dog.

I worked as a veterinary assistant, which I loved. Then I volunteered at the Humane Society--training the less adoptable dogs to improve behavior problems, trimming guinea pig nails, cleaning out cages and grooming rabbits. I had a rabbit (which turned out to be quite mean, unlike the rabbits I owned as a kid) and a guinea pig (which I trained and got certified to do animal assisted therapy, visiting nursing homes etc), along with occasional fish. We very nearly adopted a dog after I finally persuaded DH to agree to the idea.

But then I got pregnant and had a baby, and we moved. We found new homes for the pets and were animal-free for quite some time. We had another baby. With two young children, I had no time, energy or desire for pets.

After we moved here we once again had the freedom to keep animals, since we now owned our home. The cat I'd had before I got married, which I had given to a family member, needed a home and we agreed to take her.

At first, it seemed it was going to work well.

Serena was a very sweet cat, extremely shy but well-behaved and gentle. She had a bit of a hard time adjusting to being an indoor-only cat and spent most of the time hiding under furniture. I tried very hard to teach my 2-year-old how to be gentle with the cat and not chase her.

The cat was not at all used to being around young children and was terrified, although she preferred running away to fighting back. After several weeks the cat lost patience with AJ and started trying to scratch her. Every time AJ got near her, the cat went for my daughter's eyes.

I clipped the cat's claws regularly, trying to keep them from being so dangerous. I did my best to keep the cat and the child away from each other, even down to locking the cat in the bedroom whenever I wasn't supervising, but it was impossible to keep them apart every moment.

AJ literally had scratches across her eyelids. I had expected that the cat might scratch, but the consistency and fury with which she targeted AJ's eyes was frightening.

I had a friend in college who had a wall-eye because of a cat scratch. I knew that if the cat happened to get a claw in AJ's eye, or hit the nerve next to the eye, she could do permanent damage.

I wasn't willing to risk my daughter's eyesight. Declawing the cat wasn't an option. I knew that the procedure literally involves cutting off a cat's toes at the first joint (as if you cut off your fingers at the first knuckle below the nails). Declawing makes it so the cat can never walk normally again, and some animals experience severe pain for the rest of their lives. It can cause total personality changes, and often cats who have been declawed will take to biting when they lose the use of their claws.

So I gave the cat to my parents, who eventually had to take her to a shelter because she didn't get along with their other cats and they were unsuccessful at finding another home for her.

I thought we wouldn't have a non-caged pet again until the kids were much older (old enough to take on much of the care themselves). Having 3 children 5 and under, a house and yard, and a hamster is energy-intensive enough without adding another creature to care for.

As the next step up from the hamster, we envisioned a rabbit--probably a Holland Lop. I've known some very sweet Holland Lops and handled them in 4-H as a teen, and they were as sweet-tempered but easier to care for than the wonderful English Angora rabbits my sisters and I raised. Many people don't realize this, but a rabbit can be litterbox trained, leash trained, taught verbal commands, and can be much like a dog in the affection and interaction it gives if treated right.

The girls, though, love cats. They've been begging for a cat for at least a year now. They're not much interested in a rabbit, and they like Puff OK, but what they really want is a cat.

I like cats, but I know that any pet is going to add significant work and expense to our already busy life. Also, a lot of people are allergic to cats, and we like to have lots of people in our home. We've had people over to visit 3 times just in the last 2 days.

We have the option to take the cat temporarily, on trial. I'm just not sure if we should even do that. Part of me wants to say no, because I don't want to add more work and potential stress into this household just as things are beginning to possibly settle down. But part of me wants to say yes, too.

DH says he'll trust my judgment. He doesn't really want a cat, but is willing to give it a try.

So we said we'd consider and pray about it.

A date and lots of conversations.

Some friends from our church small group babysat all three kids for us today so DH and I could go out on a date. What a wonderful gift! Some time soon we'll watch their kids in return. It's great to be part of a community and group of friends like that.

DH and I had a great time eating German food, talking, and shopping at a bookstore. It was so great to just spend some time together and connect. We talked about everything from how to organize our home and make life more manageable, to DH's work and the kids, to what we need to improve in our lives, to how we can have more fun together.

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We had a Barnes & Noble gift certificate to spend from my friend the pediatric intern. We shopped for quite a while and finally decided to use it to get a pocket-sized Bible so I don't have to cart my big heavy study Bible around. This one fits perfectly into my diaper bag and is quite light. We'll both use it for our small group meetings, church and other occasions.

All three kids had a great time during the several hours we were gone, even though we forgot to bring the milk I had pumped for Baby E. She reportedly ate two jars of baby food and then some rice cereal. When we got home, she ate another big container of baby food and more cereal--and that was after nursing. She was so excited about the food! Maybe she's been getting frustrated about nursing and waking so much at night because she wants more solids? I haven't been giving her solids at all most days, and certainly not this much.

Baby E's second tooth came in more fully today, and her poor little gums were bleeding. I hope the combination of the Tylenol I gave her and the solid food will help her sleep tonight--she's asleep in her crib now.

AJ and MM had a marvelous time playing with their little friends today. They keep saying they want to go and live at their friends' house.

The girls and I had an interesting conversation over dinner, while DH was away helping his dad set up a projector for church tomorrow.

AJ asked me, "Mom, what's the nicest word in the whole world?"

"I think the nicest word, or at least one of the nicest words, is love." We talked about love for a while.

Then I asked, "What do you think is the nicest word?"

AJ said, "God. I think God is the nicest word."

"That is definitely one of the nicest words. MM, what do you think is one of the nicest words in the world?"

"Please and thank you."

"Yes, those are some of my favorite words too."

"What's one of the worst words in the world?"

"Hate."

"Stupid."

"Mean."

"You're right. Those aren't nice words at all."

We also had a great conversation about how much the girls enjoyed playing with their friends today, and what makes a good friend. The girls listed things like sharing, playing together, helping each other, saying nice things, and being kind as traits of a good friend. Then I asked them what they thought made a good mother. They said things like shopping, making food for them, telling them stories, and loving them.

I really enjoy having conversations like that with my kids.

Tonight DH and I worked on cleaning and organizing the house after the kids went to bed. We are having a new babysitter come tomorrow, and the house is definitely in C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome). We made great progress tonight, but have a lot more to do tomorrow even though it seems we made our goals minimal.

I'm just glad it's getting done--and that I've had the energy to work on it.

Murphy's Law?

I may not be able to talk myself into truly enjoying sleep deprivation, but blogging about my frustration seemed to do the trick. As per the Inevitable Rule of Blogging that the instant you blog about something seemingly set in stone, it changes.

Baby E slept from 9:30 to 9:30 last night (OK, she woke every hour or two but since she was in my bed I didn't fully wake up for long each time). And tonight . . . drumroll please . . . she is sleeping in her very own crib, and has gotten through the first waking of the night and gone BACK to sleep in her crib. Maybe she'll actually sleep in there the whole night for once--although I probably ruined any chance of that by writing it here, LOL.

We had a nice day today, which included visiting with friends and baking cookies to put together a care package for my Sis J who is away at college.

Three Wishes

This is one of my favorite pages from the scrapbook project I did yesterday.



I cut out a little quote that says, "Give me 3 wishes" and pasted it on the page. Then I wrote each of my girls' names on a different colored heart and added them, along with a picture of my three "wishes"--my beautiful children.

The paper bags make built-in pockets. I put a card inside this one with space for more pictures, and glued on a cutout from our photo postcards that says "Holiday wishes from our house to yours, 2005."

My other favorite page will have a copy of our most recent family picture and a quote that says,

If I could reach
up and hold a star
for every time you've
made me smile
The entire evening sky
would be in the
palm of my hand.

My husband and children make me smile many times every day.

I love my family.

Early to bed, Early to rise . . . Well, at least we have half of it right.

Last night DH took a shift with Baby E, trying to get her to sleep. We were both very tired today, but thanks to DH I was functional at least for the first half of the day. :)

It was a very good day.

It was my group's turn to bring food to Moms' group this morning, and I got smart this time. I decided not to try to cook something this morning. Instead, I chose to bring items that required very little preparation, all of which could be done the night before.

And, even though it meant only a very few hours of sleep, I set my alarm and got up early enough to get myself and the kids ready without being rushed. We were on time to group for the first time this year (with the exception of the first time I went, when I thought it started at 9:00 and got there at 9:30 just as it was actually starting). It was such a nice feeling to actually be on time (and even a few minutes early!)

I tend to be less stressed and in a better mood when I get up earlier, even when I'm tired. I'm not sure exactly why, but getting up earlier does seem to help my mood and attitude somehow. Plus, I've gotten several things done this week that I've been procrastinating about for months--including sending in some auction estimate requests and other inquiries to various auction houses and museums about the famous Cavalli suit. That makes me feel good.

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Today was a craft day, and we did a really fun craft. We made scrapbooks out of lunch-sized paper bags. There were lots of different kinds of paper, stamps, pens, ribbon and other embellishments available to use, and lots of room for creativity. I had a hard time getting started at first, but once I came up with an idea I really enjoyed bringing it together. I only got one spread done, but brought home enough materials to finish the book. When, I don't know, but I can finish it someday. :)

Scrapbooking is a craft I haven't taken up, even though it seems that everyone around me scrapbooks. I tend to think that I don't really need yet another expensive, time-consuming and addictive craft to add to the myriad I already do. But it is a lot of fun. Even more, the way my circle of acquaintances does it, it's a social experience. People have parties and gatherings just to sit around and scrapbook together, sharing supplies and chatting while working on their projects. I've thought about going to these gatherings and working on some other craft, but haven't quite had the chutzpah to do that most of the time.

I've always really enjoyed scrapbooking when I've had a chance to do it using someone else's planning and supplies. I may have to invest in a few supplies of my own.

After the meeting I brought Pixie-Faced Teenager home with me. It had been quite some time since I'd done that, and it was nice to have her come and help again.

Although my house is in desperate need of some cleaning and organization, I had no energy left to work on it with her by that point. I decided it would be more valuable to have PFT babysit while I took a nap. So I did.

It was money very well-spent. There was no way I would have been able to get a nap if she hadn't been here, since Baby E refused to go to sleep until about an hour after it was time for the older girls to be getting up. And after even a couple of extra hours of sleep, I am so much more functional.

The original plan had been that if I was able to get all three kids napping at the same time, PFT would do some housework while we were all resting. But that didn't happen. As I handed over the baby after unsuccessfully trying to get her to take a nap, I told PFT that if she was unable to get anything done other than looking after the baby, that would be perfectly fine.

PFT smiled and said, "Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine. Look how happy she is. Where's the broom, again?"

I must say I was a little gratified to find out that PFT was unable to get much of anything done while caring for the baby. Not that I wish a clingy, high-maintenance child on anyone, but it's somehow nice to know that she acts that way for other people besides just me. PFT did manage to sweep the kitchen floor by putting Baby E down and letting her fuss for several minutes at a time while doing the task in increments. Which is exactly the way I get things done lately--either stealing moments here and there, or doing it with Baby E in my arms or in the sling.

PFT was a little abashed that she wasn't able to get more done while keeping an eye on the kids, but I laughed and assured her that her help with the kids was sufficient. "Now you know why my house looks the way it does," I added.

After taking PFT home, the kids and I went to Costco. We had a good time. It's such a joy to take my kids on outings lately. They are generally cooperative, obedient and cheerful, and it's a delight to be with them when. I had to correct them a few times for doing things like hanging on the cart, but overall they stayed right with me, chatted cheerfully, helped me choose things to buy and behaved admirably. Baby E and the older two girls smiled at everyone.

I was glad to see that my conversations with the older girls about what kind of talk is appropriate with strangers are starting to have an effect. AJ, who generally tells every detail about her life to every stranger she meets
(combined with asking a battery of very personal questions) remembered what I had been trying to teach her. She said hello to people, but otherwise mostly waited for them to initiate conversation. Instead of telling a conglomeration of random and too-personal details about her life, she simply answered the questions people asked her.

I can't even begin to put into words how proud I am of her progress in this area. It's so wonderful to see the kids internalizing things we've talked about.

We really enjoyed our outing and our supper afterwards (fresh sugar snap peas, spinach salad, corn chips, garlic bread and hummus). DH got home just in time to sit and hold the baby while I read the older girls a bedtime story, prayed with them and tucked them in.

Now I'm going to collect Baby E (who has laryngitis today) from DH, who is also sick, and try to get her to go to sleep. Hey, at least I can keep trying.

Musings about sleep deprivation and expectations

Clap, clap . . .





See the teeth?



Look; two teeth!



You can see in these pictures that Baby E isn't feeling well. She doesn't have quite her usual sparkle. But I think she's still totally adorable, although I may be just a bit biased.

I just received an e-mail from a loved one who is an experienced mother with quite a few children. One of the things she said was, "Embrace your tiredness! Accept the weary mornings! I am convinced that dark eye-circles are the crown of a mom, like gray hair is said to be the crown of old age. I wear mine with joy and gratefulness."

I've been thinking about this a lot lately: Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. Maybe, instead of trying to figure out how to get more sleep, I need to somehow focus on being able to flourish on 4-6 hours of broken sleep. Maybe I just need to stop being frustrated at not getting more sleep.

Maybe my problem isn't sleep deprivation or illness. Maybe my problem is faulty expectations. Maybe, instead of being frustrated that Baby E just spent 20 minutes screaming in her crib before finally falling asleep for a 20-minute nap, waking up, falling asleep in my arms, screaming as soon as I laid her down, and falling asleep again when I picked her up, and repeating this several more times, I need to accept that living this way is normal.

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Do I need to focus on enjoying the sleeping baby in my arms instead of worrying about the other two children and the housework I'm neglecting (or taking a nap myself, as I'd like to be doing)? Or--as I tend to think--do I just need to organize my time and energy better and somehow figure out how to be completely engaged with the other two kids, plan and teach a homeschool lesson, do laundry, clean the house, play with the kids, cook nutritious meals from scratch, call the women in my small group to organize food for moms' group, write some letters and spend a half-hour working on my Bible study, all while holding a sleeping/fussy baby in my arms?

Am I not trying hard enough, or do I need to lower my expectations? That's my constant dillemma. My response generally seems to be to let things I think I should be doing slide and then feel guilty and depressed about it because I think I should be able to do so much more, so much better than I do.

I'm realizing that a big part of the reason the sleep deprivation and the being sick 2-3 weeks out of most months bothers me is that I don't see it as normal. It frustrates me because I don't think it should be that way.

In a way, I see my baby's lack of sleep as my own personal failure. All my friends who have babies seem to be able to get theirs to sleep so much better. I don't know anyone even with a brand new newborn who is getting up more than 2-3 times a night, or whose baby sleeps less than 10-12 hours total at night, plus naps. The other parents I meet just don't seem to have the same struggles I do; at least not for the long term. So I feel like I must be failing somehow or doing something wrong. I just don't know what.

None of my kids have been good sleepers, so I really wonder if it's something I'm doing wrong to make them that way. I keep thinking it can't be good for the baby to be getting so little sleep, either. But being sick makes it more challenging for everyone.

I feel guilty about our being sick so much, too. Deep down I think that if I were taking better care of us--if we were getting more sleep, eating better, not spending so much time around large groups of people, or whatever--then we wouldn't be sick so much.

Someone told me this week that expecting not to get sick might help. I think because I don't expect to get sick, I let it bother me too much when we do come down with so many illnesses. Every time we get over a bout of illness, I think NOW we're finally going to be well for a while. I expect us to be well and plan for it; I pin my hopes on it. Then when we get sick again within days, my hopes are dashed. It's to the point now where I'm afraid to even hope for any period of time when we're well enough to plan anything.

I think my frustration and discouragement is probably as much a problem with attitudes and expectations as anything else. If the worst thing that happens is that we are always sleep deprived, sick with colds and flu, and tripping over things in a messy house--well, honestly, we have it pretty good. If sleep deprivation and minor illness are all I have to whine about, then I should be counting my blessings. I know that.

I love my kids and husband, our home, our church, our friends and family. We have a great life. On the occasional day when I feel good I almost can't contain myself, I'm so happy and energetic. I love, love, love my life.

I don't know why I can't make myself realize that emotionally when I'm dealing with illness, fatigue and pain. I used to be able to.

I know a lot of it is physical, and especially related to sleep deprivation. Maybe I shouldn't have had kids knowing that I don't handle severe sleep deprivation well, but it's a bit late now--and I wouldn't trade my kids for anything.

Since it isn't looking like the sleep deprivation and frequent illness is going away any time soon, I'm going to have to find a way to transcend that.

It may be an attitude problem. It may be faulty expectations of normalcy. It could be a chemical imbalance of some sort. Maybe it's something simple like not drinking enough water. It very well may be a spiritual battle. Probably it's a combination of things.

Whatever it is, I need to figure it out. Please pray for me as I try to do that.

7 months

Baby E had her 7-month birthday while we were in Mexico. She still loves people and enjoys turning on the charm, and she is so interested in everything that she doesn't want to miss a moment of life. Why waste time eating or sleeping?

She's become so mobile now. We set her down anywhere, and within moments she's across the room digging in the crack behind the couch for some obscure item we missed while babyproofing. She's fast!

She has an amazing talent for spotting things like crumpled Kleenexes across the room, locomoting toward them, and fishing them out from behind and under things--and then, of course, chewing on them. And she gets mad when something she's after gets taken away. For such a cheery, bright, happy kid she sure can throw a tantrum.

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Baby E is starting to pull up on things, and is getting very close to "real" crawling as she learns to move her arms and legs independently while up on her hands and knees. She's not interested at all in walking yet, which is just fine with me--her army crawl is hard enough to keep up with. We're going to have to invest in some baby gates very soon.

She still loves to play peek-a-boo, and will hide her face and peek out repeatedly as long as anyone keeps smiling and saying "peek-a-boo!" when her grin appears. She waves at people too, with a floppy whole-arm gesture sure to bring smiles.

She loves books (taking after her parents and big sisters) and will squeal and dance with glee, patting the book and trying to turn the pages while we read to her. AJ and MM enjoy reading to her, which she loves.

But the cutest thing ever is the way Baby E claps her hands. She's discovered this new delight recently, and shows off her skills often. With a big grin, she brings her little hands together over and over, saying, "A, a! Aaaay!" (translation: Clap, clap! Yaay!") Hearing anyone say "clap, clap" or "yay" is sure to get her clapping her hands and grinning.

It's a good thing she's so cute and engaging, because quite a few times lately I've found myself contemplating selling her to the highest bidder.

She refuses to let me out of her sight, doesn't want to be put down, doesn't want to be held, and will not sleep. She's been sick for 2 1/2 weeks now, and although she's feeling better she still has a runny nose and a cough. That means that any crying leads to an episode of not being able to breathe through a nose and mouth full of gunk, complete with fits of coughing. It's so pitiful to hear her crying, snuffling, and coughing in her hoarse little voice.

At the moment she is trying to nurse and get out of my lap. Yes, concurrently. The one thing she hates more than anything (besides having Mommy go out of sight) is being restrained in any way. So she cries to be picked up, then doesn't want to be held. She is hungry, but cries and arches her back when I try to feed her. She wants to nurse, but refuses to be held in a sidelying position with her face away from the room. She won't even open her mouth--just cries and struggles to escape the horrible restraint of being held in a position conducive to nursing. Apparently she'd rather starve than miss a moment of the day. Which means she wants to make up for it by nursing all night long.

Baby E is still not sleeping much. Last night she went to sleep at 9:15 after having her requisite 3 naps of the day. I thought we were home free, and planned to join everyone else in the house who were already sleeping (I was supposed to go to a Bible study last night, but it's a good thing I didn't because DH went to sleep for the night at 7 p.m. while the rest of us were still sitting at the dinner table. He is sick too and was so tired, poor guy.)

She woke at 9:45. I spent the next three hours in her bedroom, trying to get her to go back to sleep. I did try letting her cry it out several times, but she never got to the "out" part.

She finally went back to sleep around 1:30 a.m.

Just after I dropped off to sleep, I was awakened by MM screaming hysterically. Thinking she'd fallen out of bed or hurt herself in some other way, I leaped up and stumbled blearily to her aid.

She was crying because--wait for it--the hall light was turned off and it was semi-dark in her room. She was, actually, throwing a huge tantrum--picking up right where she left off when she fell asleep several hours earlier crying because she wanted the bedroom light left on. It was 2 a.m.

Baby E woke up at 4 and 6 (even though she was in my bed by that point), and the kids were up for the day by 8:30.

The night before she went to sleep for the night at 4:30 a.m. The night before that it was 2 a.m. Once she does get to sleep, she's been waking about every 2 hours.

I'm getting her up by 8 or 8:30, but it doesn't seem to help. I've gotten her to finally take naps by laying her in her crib and letting her cry for 5 or 10 minutes until she goes to sleep, but that doesn't work at night. I am at a loss. She'll fall asleep for a brief time, but once she's awake she wants to get up and play. I refused to take her out of her bedroom last night, thinking that if she was in her crib she might go back to sleep sooner. But she just alternated between fussing and playing for three hours (with the unending hysterical screaming whenever I went out of sight).

She also refuses to let me out of her sight during the day. She wants to be held, but only if I'm bouncing her up and down and playing games with her or doing something else interesting. She demands to be entertained. And, she's on this wierd nursing strike because she refuses to be restrained long enough to eat.

Is it just an age thing? I can't remember whether my other girls did this sort of thing to this extreme at 7 months or not.

The sleep thing, of course, has been going on since she was born. We keep thinking we're making progress with her sleeping habits and then something like an illness or a disruption in routine sends us right back where we started.

The two older girls are going through Daddy withdrawl after almost 2 weeks of vacation with him. We went to lunch with him yesterday, and they were clinging to his legs and crying hysterically when he had to go back to work. The crying continued for a long time after he left. This tends to repeat every time Daddy threatens to leave their presence. At least it makes him feel loved. :)

Mom's Birthday

Happy Birthday, Mom. You're an amazing and wonderful woman. Your strength, love and determination are really something special. You have accomplished so much in your life and continue to do so. I have learned from you to try anything and to never give up if something is really important. It's a privilege to watch your love for God, your family and others, and to watch you being a great grandma, too.

I love you, Mom.

Here we go again

MM seems to be starting over again with the fever, all-over body aches, and now stomach pain too. Please pray for our family's health.

VCUG

The doctor's office just called, and AJ's urine sample was positive for a UTI. As much pain as she had yesterday when urinating, I was sure it would be.

The doctor is giving her a prescription for some kind of sulfa drug and is referring her for a cystogram (VCUG--voiding cystourethrogram). Since the doctor didn't mention the possibility of this test yesterday, and since it's her first UTI, I am a bit confused. She's never had a diagnosed UTI before, although she has had several incidences of anxiety and discomfort associated with urination--most recently over 6 months ago after Baby E was born. She doesn't have a fever, which is usually a determining factor in recommending a VCUG, and she doesn't have any abdominal pain or symptoms other than yesterday's pain while urinating.

From what I've been reading, a cystogram is generally only used in children with recurrent bladder or urinary tract infections. It's used to diagnose urinary tract reflux or incomplete voiding. The test is expensive and invasive, involving catheterization and fairly large amounts of radiation in multiple doses. It apparently should never be done while a child has an active UTI.

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Considering that AJ has had severe diarrhea and just finished 10 days of not-all-that-great sanitary conditions, complete with ocean, pool, and contaminated tap water, it seems logical that this, her first UTI, would be the result of introduced bacteria rather than some long-standing problem. Also, the urine sample was collected in a non-sterile way (a little "hat" on the toilet instead of a midstream void). She is already improving, even before medication, and was no longer in pain when urinating this morning.

The nurse I talked to had no clue what the test involved, why the doctor was recommending it, or anything about it other than the name.

Do most people just take without question a prescription and an order for more testing phoned in by a nurse, without ever discussing it with a doctor?

Is it too much to ask to be able to get answers to questions like, "What types of organisms was the test positive for? Why are we treating this with sulfa drugs instead of the standard antibiotics? What is this test for, and why are you recommending it? Is it really necessary? Could we get a second opinion?"

I tried to ask some of those questions of the nurse, but she was no help. Talking to the doctor on the phone is apparently not an option. I'd probably have to make another appointment with the doctor to be able to ask those questions, pay all over again (on top of paying to have the doctor take AJ's temperature and poke her tummy yesterday). I guess I'm a "difficult patient," but I want to know what's going on!

Buying a Rebozo

Shadows were lengthening across the Zócalo as the sun's rays mellowed into a gentler warmth. Mom and I sat on a wall with the baby to watch people while AJ and MM played in the square.

In the golden light, people ambled past. Mothers with babies tied in rebozos talked and gestured as they strolled toward the market. A gentleman sat with his newspaper to have his shoes shined. People sat chatting on benches and on the low stone walls edging the flower beds. A couple sat on a bench, kissing. Customers ate at tables on the sidewalks nearby.

Children ran and squealed, chasing giant cyllindrical balloons as the wind sent them bouncing high into the air to come down near the ornate cathedral heading the square. A cluster of people listened to music from a marimba, while down the street a man with a badly burned arm rattled his tin cup.

Sellers hawked their wares; wooden bookmarks, miniature hammocks, colorful toys. A clown offered balloon animals for sale, while a woman pulled a handful of miniature rubber chickens out of her rebozo to display.

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A child held out a tin lid arranged with brightly colored bobble-head birds and turtles. "Una tortuga, Señora? Solamente diez pesos." Her voice was plaintive, her eyes hungry. I smiled and shook my head. "Gracias, no. No necesito. Gracias." How I wished I could buy them all. How many toys would the little girl have to sell in order to eat that night, or to buy a pair of shoes?

A woman approached with a tray of plastic cups filled with various colors of gelatin. "Gelatines?" I tried not to meet her eyes, knowing that if I seemed at all interested it could take 5 minutes of protestations before she was convinced I wasn't going to buy her food.

When a tired man came by selling rebozos, though, I was interested. The 5-yard knit wrap I'd brought with me was comfortable, but hot, heavy and awkward in this warm humidity. Baby E's hair was damp with sweat and DH had winced at the extra weight in the backpack when I wasn't wearing the wrap. Watching the women with their babies and wares in their lightweight rebozos, I wondered if I could cary Baby E comfortably in one.

"Cuanto cuesta?" I inquired. The man's eyes instantly brightened to attention. He allowed a slight hope to dawn in his face. "Cien pesos." He pulled other colors out of the black plastic bag. "Se gusta rosa? Azul?"

"Tiene Ud. uno más grande, por el bebé?" I showed him with my hands what I wanted.

"Si, yo tengo uno más largo. Este es largo. Y este es muy largo." He said something else that I didn't catch (ciento something?), pulling pieces of fringed cloth from his bag. Finally he pressed a white one into my hand, saying that was the longest he had.

I hesitated. White would show stains, but it was 100% cotton and should wash clean. It would be cool and versatile.

"Let me see if my husband has enough money," I finally said. The man sat on the wall near my mother while I went to find DH, who was discussing plans for the evening with some of the men from our group.

DH looked at me a bit askew: "You want to buy ANOTHER wrap? Are you sure? Do we really need this???", but forked over the 100 pesos (equivalent to about $10).

When I handed the man the money, he brightened for a moment, then his face fell. "No," he cried, "No, es ciento cincuenta pesos. The short ones are 100 pesos. The long one is 150." So that's what he was saying that I didn't catch.

I went back to DH, even more sheepishly this time. No go. We only had 50 pesos left, and we needed that for the taxi back to the hotel.

I went back to the vendor and tried to hand him back the rebozo. "I'm sorry," I said, "We don't have $150 pesos to spend. We only have the $100. I'll just have to not buy the rebozo. I'm sorry."

But he wasn't about to hand me back the money now that he had it in his hand. He sighed. "Keep it. Give me the money tomorrow."

"No, I can't do that. I might not see you tomorrow, and I don't want to owe you. Just keep the rebozo and if I see you tomorrow I'll buy it."

"No, keep it. Give me the money later if you can." He walked away.

I had gotten a very good deal on the shawl, but I felt bad. 150 was a fair price for the longer rebozo.

We used to dicker and try to get a bargain when buying things in Oaxaca, but none of the vendors are willing to bargain nowadays. Many things are marked with price tags, and shopkeepers are offended to be offered a lesser price. In other parts of Mexico the bartering and dickering is still part of the culture, but the economy in Oaxaca city has changed.

Besides, they really need the money. In a world where minimum wage is 50 pesos per day (equivalent to $5 for an 8-hour day of work), a Big Mac costs $6.50, drinking water must be expensively purchased by the bottle, and the very cheapest apartments cost $100 a month, many of the people selling wares in the markets won't eat unless they can sell enough to pay for their next meal. By the time they pay for their materials, most are probably making pennies per hour for their labor.

I didn't see him the next day, but the day after that there he was in the market. "Quiero un otro rebozo, Senora?" No, I didn't want another one. But I had the other 50 pesos and, to his surprise and delight, gave it to him.

His family would eat that day.

Trip Summary

Here's a basic summary of the trip; just a barebones structure really. I don't remember a whole lot of what happened in the middle of the trip, because I was so sick.

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Day 1 (Friday) was, of course, a travel day. The kids did pretty well on the planes. Many hours, two airplanes and a Mexican taxi later, we collapsed into bed at our hotel. Baby E, setting the trend for the trip, refused to sleep in the pack-n-play, so DH, Baby E and I shared one of the two queen beds while AJ and MM fought over who was touching whom, who had more covers, and "she's looking at me!" But once they got to sleep the two older kids slept well and woke up happy.

Day 2, Saturday, we settled in to our hotel and checked out the town of Oaxaca. We set up times for the group to check in at the Zócalo, or town square, and then broke up into smaller groups. We shopped in the market, took photos, toured a cathedral, tried the local ice cream bars (paletas) made with fruit and milk or water (your choice), and then gathered at a restaurant for dinner. It was a thoroughly enjoyable day.

Day 3, Sunday, we all went to the local church started by my dad's best friend (Mr. N.) in Oaxaca. A van picked us up. Mrs. N was the Sunday-School teacher for the girls' age level, so she taught a bilingual class for their benefit, which they loved. The people at the church were very warm and welcoming. Everyone wanted to hold the little gordita (fat white baby), and people were even getting up in the middle of the service to come take her out of my arms. Everyone said she looked like a Gerber baby. She was starting to get sick at that point, and was a bit fussy and clingy, with a deep raspy voice.

In the afternoon Dad's friends took us to their favorite buffet restaurant, and we went to see the famous Tule tree--the largest-diameter tree in the world. We visited the famous Mitla ruins and saw the ancient ball field where human sacrifices took place. Then we drove out to see a piece of property Dad's church had helped purchase for a church in Mitla to build on, and went by the area where Dad's parents had built some houses when they lived in Mexico.

In the evening, we went to the church in Mitla. They met in a three-sided building with a tarp to help keep out some of the wind and rain. We all crammed in together in the cold and listened to the Scripture passage read in Spanish and Mixtec, sang together in Spanish, and listened to a Spanish sermon. Then the church kids did the cutest skit dramatizing the life of Moses, complete with a "burning bush" made of a potted plant, Christmas lights and cellophane.

After the service the people from the church treated us to chocolate (a foamy rich drink made with chocolate, water and cinnamon) and pan dulce (sweet bread), showed us the plans for the new church building, and presented a thank-you gift to my parents. Then we went back to the hotel and ate tamales before bed.

Day 4, Monday, was a rest day. We slept in and then had a relaxing day at the Zócalo and the market. Baby E was cutting teeth during the whole trip, complete with bleeding gums. At that point, we thought she was mostly just fussy because of teething, but she had congestion and a bit of a fever, too. She would not let anyone other than me hold her much.

On Day 5 of the trip, Tuesday, Baby E was definitely sick. We spent the day touring sights and ruins in the Oaxaca area. Baby E was very fussy and whiny, and we kept giving her Tylenol to get her through the day. I ended up sitting in whatever bits of shade I could find waiting with Cousin M for the rest of the group so the others could hear the tour gide over her fussing.

The evening of day 5 I got very sick. I was getting a full-blown fibromyalgia flare-up from the lack of sleep (Baby E didn't sleep much on the trip), heat and exertion. Then I got sick from eating too many tamales and also started coming down with Baby E's respiratory illness--fever, body aches, cough.

Day 6, Wednesday, we got up at 4 a.m. to travel to the coast. I'd been up since 3 a.m. anyway, after going to bed around midnight. We were so glad that we chose the 1-hour 15-passenger plane ride intead of the 6-10-hour bus ride with hairpin curves at 80 mph all the way.

As soon as we arrived at the hotel I collapsed in agony with full-blown illness. Baby E and I rested in the hotel while DH took the kids swimming and they played on the tropical beach. In the evening I dragged myself out of bed long enough to go with the family to eat. Then AJ got sick, complete with fever, cough and delirium.

Day 7, Thursday: I hauled my sick self and Baby E out of bed to go with my dad to find us some breakfast while DH took care of the sick AJ (who was crying because her eyes hurt) and tried to keep MM from bouncing off the walls. Several hours and lots of walking in the heat later, I staggered back with food and collapsed into bed.

AJ, Baby E, and I rested for the rest of the day while DH took care of us and my parents took MM out to play. That evening MM came down with the cough and fever.

Day 8, Friday: DH woke up with Tourista (A.K.A. Montezuma's Revenge). Everyone was sick. During the course of the day we all started having diarrhea along with the respiratory illness. I had a frighteningly long episode of difficulty breathing, and Dad went to buy me some decongestant.

We spent most of the day in the room and Baby E and I finally napped in a chair by the pool in the afternoon. By evening the older kids were feeling somewhat better and DH took MM on a twilight cruise to see the local bird life while AJ, the baby and I napped.

Baby E by that point would sleep nowhere but on me (this is still the case as I write). My milk supply was almost nonexistent by this time, and poor Baby E was miserable and hungry on top of being sick.

Day 9, Saturday: Baby E and I were still pretty sick and mostly stayed in the room. But we all went out in the early evening on a boat to see a sea turtle. One of the boats caught one and three different boats hauled it aboard so we could see it and take photos with it before letting it go again.

Day 10, Sunday, was the last day of our trip. I was finally feeling well enough to do a little shopping, and, for the first time during the trip, play in the ocean. I rented a body board and got to surf on it a bit. Baby E sat in the sand and played. She dug holes and ran sand through her fingers, and had a marvelous time while the other two kids splashed and played nearby. We all enjoyed a dip in the pool and then gathered with the family to eat sailfish caught that morning by Cousin K.

Day 11, Monday, we traveled for about 15 hours to get home. 1 hour of curvy, high-speed bus ride on hairpin mountain roads was more than enough taste of that type of transportation, but it was neat to see the little mountain communities along the way. The kids slept a lot on the planes, so that was good.

We all still have coughs and respiratory illesses. DH is the only one who hasn't gotten it so far, which is a good thing since he had to go back to work the day we got home. AJ has had severe diarrhea for a few days now and seems to have some kind of UTI also, and Baby E apparently has an ear infection along with her cough and cold. The kids are whiny and fussy, and we're all exhausted and sick.

But we're all home in one piece!