Enjoying my Baby

As brand new parents, we were concerned that if we consistently picked our babies up right away when they started to fuss and took care of their needs as promptly as possible, they might become more fussy and demanding. Several books and teachers popular in our circles taught that it was easy to spoil a baby in that way, and that if you responded to them promptly the majority of the time, they would become little "tyrants" who demanded to always be the center of attention.

Now, as more experienced parents, we find the opposite to be true. It seems that a general pattern of responsiveness (as much as possible, within reason) helps a baby to develop the trust and confidence that her needs will be met and her cries will be answered. We've also come to realize that things like cuddling and comfort, eye contact and interaction, are real and valid "needs" even when they don't need to be fed or changed and we feel like we've already been holding them a lot all day.

With each of our kids we've found that, in general, they tend to be less fussy and demanding, and seem to get worked up less quickly and severely in the times we can't respond right away, when we are more responsive to them in general. And the times we do put them down, they aren't as prone to get upset about watching and interacting with us from somewhere other than someone's arms for a while.

I love no longer being worried about spoiling my baby, and just being able to relax and enjoy this time of bonding and connection.