Musings about society, weight and health
I am wearing . . . drumroll please . . .
My pre-pregnancy jeans! Most of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit me now, and today I arrived at my "target" weight. It's nice to actually be able to wear my favorite clothes again.
Now the real challenge will be making sure I don't lose too much weight. I won't worry unless I get below my "low-normal" weight through most of high school and college. But I'm really going to have to watch it, because I haven't really been trying to lose weight, and I've lost about 40-45 lbs. since right before Baby E was born 4 months ago.
After AJ was born, I very quickly got far too thin.
By 4 months after she was born I was at 99 lbs. and dropping, no matter how much I tried to stop losing weight. For me at 5'2" with a medium frame, that was at least 15+ lbs. underweight. It was the most frustrating thing. Part of it was that I kept forgetting to eat and had trouble finding easy things to eat with my food allergies, and part of it was just that nursing tends to raise my metabolism to the point where my body has a hard time keeping up with it.
People mostly seem to know that it's unkind to comment on people's weight if they're overweight, but there seems to be no such social taboo against comments about people who are underweight. People felt free to tell me how skinny I was and to make comments like, "You need to eat more, girl! You're a toothpick!" Yes, thank you, I know. You try nursing a baby and being unable to eat any dairy products or anything else fattening, add a high metabolism in there, and see how you do. A few people even told me they "hated" me for being so thin so soon after having a baby. Well, excuse me, I didn't do it on purpose. I would prefer NOT to be so thin.
Some of those comments hurt.
I felt like I was eating and eating and couldn't gain weight. My energy levels and health were suffering. I felt awful. It was so discouraging. It's at least as unhealthy to be underweight as it is to be overweight, and the battle is just as difficult and frustrating trying to gain weight when your body doesn't want to.
When I get tired or stressed, I often stop feeling hungry, which means I literally have to force myself to eat. I enjoy food okay in general, but when I'm not feeling so great or when I'm really busy, it often just doesn't taste good or seem appealing to me.
At the same time, I have the mental battle that maybe it's not really so bad to be so thin . . . after all, that's what everyone seems to be striving for, isn't it? Along with the people telling me how I was too thin, there were a lot more telling me how great I looked and how much they envied me. That didn't really help, because in a way it was a mental battle to convince myself that I really did need to do something; that I was truly unhealthy.
It could far too easily become almost a power trip. Not eating much and losing weight can give you a feeling of being strong and in control (ironic because you're really NOT in control)--but that feeling of being in control by not eating is the basic driving force of anorexia, for those who've known someone fighting that type of battle. I've walked alongside friends who've had severe, life-long struggles with anorexia and bulemia, and it's not something to take lightly.
Poor nutrition and an unhealthy lifestyle can make you very sick or kill you, no matter which end of the weight spectrum you're on--or even if you're a "normal" weight. I think it's sad that as a society we have so much emphasis on weight and body appearance rather than on just being healthy. Health and a healthy lifestyle is so much more important than what we look like or the number on the scale.
No matter which end of the spectrum you're on, it is difficult. It can become a real struggle in our society, trying to identify what a "normal" serving size is (no, an apple is not dinner! but the "serving sizes" most restaurants serve are far larger than an actual serving) and what "healthy" really looks like.
My doctor was threatening to "x-ray" me if I didn't stop losing weight, like that would scare me into gaining. People telling me that my bones were showing didn't really help, either. I finally recruited a few friends to call me off and on and remind me to eat, and that helped a little. Now I have children to fix meals for, so it's a little easier to remember to eat when they do. Getting enough rest and general self-care makes a huge difference too.
With Baby E's food allergies added to mine, though, it's been even harder to find things to eat. I'm working very hard at it, but I can tell I'm not doing well enough. I need to make sure I'm taking my vitamins, too . . . I'm seeing signs of not getting enough vitamins and nutrients in my skin and the way I feel. This time around, I'm really trying to stay on top of it before it becomes a serious problem. That's why I'm posting about it. It's a way of helping myself to stay accountable.
The battle for good health is no picnic.
My pre-pregnancy jeans! Most of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit me now, and today I arrived at my "target" weight. It's nice to actually be able to wear my favorite clothes again.
Now the real challenge will be making sure I don't lose too much weight. I won't worry unless I get below my "low-normal" weight through most of high school and college. But I'm really going to have to watch it, because I haven't really been trying to lose weight, and I've lost about 40-45 lbs. since right before Baby E was born 4 months ago.
After AJ was born, I very quickly got far too thin.
By 4 months after she was born I was at 99 lbs. and dropping, no matter how much I tried to stop losing weight. For me at 5'2" with a medium frame, that was at least 15+ lbs. underweight. It was the most frustrating thing. Part of it was that I kept forgetting to eat and had trouble finding easy things to eat with my food allergies, and part of it was just that nursing tends to raise my metabolism to the point where my body has a hard time keeping up with it.
People mostly seem to know that it's unkind to comment on people's weight if they're overweight, but there seems to be no such social taboo against comments about people who are underweight. People felt free to tell me how skinny I was and to make comments like, "You need to eat more, girl! You're a toothpick!" Yes, thank you, I know. You try nursing a baby and being unable to eat any dairy products or anything else fattening, add a high metabolism in there, and see how you do. A few people even told me they "hated" me for being so thin so soon after having a baby. Well, excuse me, I didn't do it on purpose. I would prefer NOT to be so thin.
Some of those comments hurt.
I felt like I was eating and eating and couldn't gain weight. My energy levels and health were suffering. I felt awful. It was so discouraging. It's at least as unhealthy to be underweight as it is to be overweight, and the battle is just as difficult and frustrating trying to gain weight when your body doesn't want to.
When I get tired or stressed, I often stop feeling hungry, which means I literally have to force myself to eat. I enjoy food okay in general, but when I'm not feeling so great or when I'm really busy, it often just doesn't taste good or seem appealing to me.
At the same time, I have the mental battle that maybe it's not really so bad to be so thin . . . after all, that's what everyone seems to be striving for, isn't it? Along with the people telling me how I was too thin, there were a lot more telling me how great I looked and how much they envied me. That didn't really help, because in a way it was a mental battle to convince myself that I really did need to do something; that I was truly unhealthy.
It could far too easily become almost a power trip. Not eating much and losing weight can give you a feeling of being strong and in control (ironic because you're really NOT in control)--but that feeling of being in control by not eating is the basic driving force of anorexia, for those who've known someone fighting that type of battle. I've walked alongside friends who've had severe, life-long struggles with anorexia and bulemia, and it's not something to take lightly.
Poor nutrition and an unhealthy lifestyle can make you very sick or kill you, no matter which end of the weight spectrum you're on--or even if you're a "normal" weight. I think it's sad that as a society we have so much emphasis on weight and body appearance rather than on just being healthy. Health and a healthy lifestyle is so much more important than what we look like or the number on the scale.
No matter which end of the spectrum you're on, it is difficult. It can become a real struggle in our society, trying to identify what a "normal" serving size is (no, an apple is not dinner! but the "serving sizes" most restaurants serve are far larger than an actual serving) and what "healthy" really looks like.
My doctor was threatening to "x-ray" me if I didn't stop losing weight, like that would scare me into gaining. People telling me that my bones were showing didn't really help, either. I finally recruited a few friends to call me off and on and remind me to eat, and that helped a little. Now I have children to fix meals for, so it's a little easier to remember to eat when they do. Getting enough rest and general self-care makes a huge difference too.
With Baby E's food allergies added to mine, though, it's been even harder to find things to eat. I'm working very hard at it, but I can tell I'm not doing well enough. I need to make sure I'm taking my vitamins, too . . . I'm seeing signs of not getting enough vitamins and nutrients in my skin and the way I feel. This time around, I'm really trying to stay on top of it before it becomes a serious problem. That's why I'm posting about it. It's a way of helping myself to stay accountable.
The battle for good health is no picnic.
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Posted by purple_kangaroo at 1:18 PM[Permanent link]
7 Comments:
I'm glad that you are staying on top of it! You need to stay healthy for your girls.
Have you tried carrying bags of dried fruit around with you? Concentrated calories and lots of vitamins, without making you feel like you have to force yourself to eat.
Also, don't forget to stay hydrated. Drinking enough water can help you maintain a healthy weight (it's a miracle element, it helps overweight people lose weight and underweight people gain!)
(((((A)))))
ITA!!
Congratulations on working on staying healthy. Kudos to you!
Liz, those are good suggestions. I've thought about the dried fruit thing, but there is the problem of it creating sticky sugar on the teeth, so I don't want to do too much of that. Maybe I could make my own trail mix with various kinds of seeds (no nuts), fruit, etc.
I am working on drinking more water, too--I need to start measuring the amounts to make sure I'm getting enough. I wonder what the recommendation for nursing moms is?
Thanks, Wendy and R2Ks, also.
Hi A,
That was a very interesting post - maybe, we could work together somehow (we have free long distance). I would love it if we could. At 5'1" and 160# (I drop to 155 but bounce back) I need to lose 30 lbs... it was so nice to experience normal weight for 3 months before the last pregnancy & I have to keep reminding myself that it was worth it!!! But tandem nursing hasn't increased my metabolism... er actually, it's increased my appetite so it probably has. I was asking God in prayer to help me lose weight but the prayer changed to "help me stop being a pig!" :-) I think that's what they mean by prayer changes you! I don't really have a problem with overeating but would like to back off on snacks again. I haven't ever really had a problem with milk supply but I noticed it dropped when I cut the snacks out once before - the next day it was back up. I'm also taking Roo out to stretch his legs more often. My joints are aching me and it's probably a lack of excercise and sleeping cockeye. I worked with Doug's sister long distance last year and it was kind of fun - getting her up in the morning for a workout required a more abrasive personality though! :-) I have a few walking partners but it is too cold now and I'm tired of bearing the weight of 2 kids! We actually still have snow in our backyard (the wall provides shade) from a light dusting last week.
I also wanted to tell you that we just got an excersaucer - your blog inspired it and baby A happened to get in a friend's right after I read it. Doug's dad sent a gift card yesterday just when I was planning to go for one! Baby A loves it & she's kept safe from the roughhousing. Thanks be to God!! I'm also giving thanks for some used diaper supplies the manager happened to have hiding when I left the quarter sale last friday - a 5 pack of Kooshies (classic, I think - they work great) and 2 Medium size Bummies - .99 & .50, respectively!!
It was so nice to have baby A wake me up again this morning - having her next to me smiling in the morning is something I live for! She's so different from Roo - hardly ever cries!
The white elephant party sounds like a lot of fun! Oh, and the seatbelt incident reminded me of when I was driving down the freeway and realized Roo was unbuckled!! Aaaaack!!! Our guardian angels are there for us thankfully!! I often wonder if people years in the future will look back and think how glad they didn't live now b/c of all the traffic accidents... sort of the way I look back and am glad I didn't live before ceseareans!
Merry Christmas, Colleen
As you know, I struggle with having trouble finding things to eat with my food allergies, too, and I am underweight. I end up eating a lot of sugar, because I am almost always hungry and candy is easy to nibble on... So I need to work on eating healthier... ;-)
Colleen, I'm glad you had such great finds lately! I e-mailed you today.
Amy, you have even more food allergies than I do, I think. It's hard, isn't it? I need to work on eating healthier too.
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