Can infants lie?

There are a number of teachers and writers who say that infants can "lie" or be manipulative by crying when they aren't hungry, wet, or hurt. I remember reading somewhere that if a baby cried, and then stopped crying when you came into the room, they were being manipulative.

Personally, I was always touched and pleased when my baby stopped crying when she saw me coming (or heard me say I was coming) because, to me, that communicated that she loved and trusted me so much that she had complete confidence I would be able to take care of whatever her need was.

"Oh, Mommy is here! Everything will be all better now."

That, or she just wanted me.

I just can't imagine taking offense at the fact that my child finds comfort in my presence.

The thing is, babies can only communicate by crying. And they don't necessarily know why they are uncomfortable or how to fix it. They don't know if that pain in their tummy is hunger or gas or loneliness. They just know something's not right, and so they cry.

When someone thinks a baby is lying or manipulating because they are crying "just" because they want a parent nearby or want to be held, I wonder: It's a baby. It wants you. How do you expect it to communicate that, by sending you a telegram? If there's some unwritten rule that only "urgent needs" are allowed to be communicated by crying, then you'd better install a telegraph machine in the crib and teach the baby Morse Code so they can tell you if they're cold or bored or lonely, or the light from the window is glaring in their eyes, or whatever. But before you can do that, you have to teach them how to figure out why they're uncomfortable and what exactly will fix it.

Seriously, the idea that babies can lie presupposes that they know exactly why they're uncomfortable, have figured out how to fix it, guess that you won't think it is important enough to fix, know exactly what you WILL think is important enough to fix, know how to communicate differently for each of these things, and so calculate mentally the exact frequency and intensity of crying to try to make you think they are hungry, when they know that really they are lonely and just want to be held--but if they only tell you that they want to be held, you might not do it. Oh, and they also must understand that they can communicate something specific to you, and that a particular cry on their part will bring about a particular response on your part that would be different from your response to a different cry. And then figure out which cry to emit. And have the muscle tone, voice modulation and air control to make the sound come out exactly the way they planned.

So they think ahead and scheme to try to make you think they are hurt or hungry by crying at a particular megahertz and frequency to communicate something they know is not true to get you to do something specific that they have in mind.

The idea that babies can actually lie presupposes an understanding of truth and fiction, cause and effect, object permanence, communication, predicting another's actions, calculating exactly what stimulus will be likely to give rise to a particular response, and a number of other quite advanced reasoning and interpersonal skills.

If the baby actually had the capability to do that, they probably could send you a telegram.

I do think that once they're a little older, they are experimenting with and beginning to learn about things like cause and effect and object permanence. ("I don't see Mommy. If I cry, will she appear from somewhere, or is she gone forever??")

But at the age when they still don't even understand that their own hands are attached to their arms, I think the biggest thing they learn from our response to their crying is that they're not alone in the world. When they need something, they will be cared for and when they call, someone will answer.* And that's foundational to all sorts of other truths and skills in life. To me, that concept is even foundational to my faith.



*Obviously there are times when a parent can't always answer immediately.

Hand in Hand

7-year-old AJ is still processing the death of Maria, Steven Curtis Chapman's little daughter. AJ prays for the Chapman family often.

Here's a picture she drew:



I love the way AJ pictures little Maria walking hand in hand with Jesus in Heaven. We pray for comfort and strength for Maria's family.

Phonics or Not?

AJ's Explode the Code book 4 workbook for this year covered dividing words into syllables.

Here are the rules she learned:

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Rules for Dividing Syllables

A word can be divided:
1. Between 2 little words--wind/mill
2. Between a word and its ending--jump/ing
3. Between 2 consonants that are the same--rab/bit
4. Between 2 consonants that come between 2 vowels--vc/cv--nap/kin

5. When 1 consonant stands between 2 vowels, the word is usually divided after the first vowel. The first syllable is open, with a long vowel sound.
6. When a word has 1 consonant between 2 vowels, sometimes the word is divided after the consonant. The first syllable is closed, with a short vowel sound.
7. When a 2-syllable word ends in y, the y makes a long E sound and takes the consonant before it to make the last syllable.
8. When -le is at the end of a word, it takes the consonant before to make the last syllable.
9. Sometimes 2 vowels together in a syllable make 1 sound. This is a vowel diagraph, and makes the long sound of the first vowel. The syllable may or may not have a consonant with it.


Open and Closed Syllables

An open syllable ends in a vowel. The vowel is long and says its name.

A closed syllable ends in a consonant, and the vowel is short.

Now she has finished the book. She mostly understands the concepts, I think, but she doesn't have all the rules memorized and doesn't always apply them correctly.

But, you know, I don't know all these rules and know where to divide words into syllables either. Neither does DH.

In fact, I find some of them confusing myself: For instance, the word invented seems to have two of these rules that apply to it. Dividing between the word and the suffix would divide it as in-vent-ed, but dividing between the two consonants that stand between 2 vowels would divide it as in-ven-ted. AJ's book didn't talk at all about which rule takes precendence if two rules disagree. I had to look it up in the dictionary to see that it should be in-vent-ed. But if I say the word aloud, it sure sounds to me like it should be in-ven-ted.

How important is this, anyway? Do I need to make sure AJ memorizes and fully understands these rules at age 7, or can I just post the printout I made of the rules somewhere, make sure she knows how to use the dictionary, and move on?

I'm not sure we'll continue using the Explode the Code series next year. Both AJ and M&M found them rather boring, and I'm not sure they're really presenting important information in a way that kids will understand and retain adequately. It seemed like a lot of busy work for what they learned.

We ended up skipping most of M&M's ETC 3 book, because it was covering information she already knew (things like letter combinations making a single sound) and she found the format excessively boring.

Personally, I didn't think the majority of the exercises in the ETC books actually did a good job of addressing the skills they were supposedly practicing. The kids did a lot of reading and writing words and identifying the pictures that illustrated particular words, but not so much directly practicing dividing words into syllables, finding the diagraphs in the words, etc. I had to add those types of activities to many of the workbook pages.

Maybe I chose the wrong levels for my kids, or maybe they just aren't a good fit for us. But I think I'll look for a different phonics program next year. Or maybe I'll just use An Acorn in my Hand by Ethel Bouldin.

The problem with phonics programs is that they're generally geared for kids who are learning how to read. Since AJ and M&M are now reading at a 5th grade level (M&M at early to mid-5th grade and AJ at mid- to late 5th grade level), I'm not sure really how much phonics instruction they actually need. The issue is, though, that they use phonics more intuitively, without really understanding why or knowing the rules. Which, by this point, is pretty much how I use phonics too.

Will the important phonics rules get covered along with English, Spelling and Grammar as we move into those subjects, or do we need to cover them before we move on? If we do need to cover them, what would be the most efficient and effective way to do it? That's the question.

Why Purple_Kangaroo? (Eleventy-One Things #49)

Eleventy-One Things About Me #49: Why Purple_Kangaroo?

I've frequently been asked why I chose the username Purple_Kangaroo.

No, I'm not from Australia--although I do have a lovely Aussie sister-in-law whom I love very much. There are several people around the internet with this username, so
I guess it's not all that unique.

But to me, the name Purple_Kangaroo is meaningful.

When I was going through a difficult and confusing time in my life, I commented to a friend, "I feel like someone handed me a purple kangaroo with no instructions, and I don't know what to do with it."

She replied, "Me too. So let's each take our purple kangaroo to God and tell him all about it, from the long tail to the funny bounce, and let Him help us with it."

The purple kangaroo became a symbol for me of all the crazy and difficult things life throws my way, and a reminder that when I am at a loss and confused, I need only to turn to my Lord Jesus and he will be there to help me through.

God has taken me through a lot of difficulties and challenges in my life. But He has always been faithful to sustain me and carry me through. He is my hope and my comfort, an ever-present help in time of trouble. He is the reason that I live.

The name Purple_Kangaroo is a reminder to me of that.

Insomnia

Anyone want to share their best tips for combating insomnia and regulating sleep cycles? I can't sleep.

It's always frustrating to be really tired and know you need to sleep, and yet be unable to fall asleep.

I get hungry or not-hungry at all the wrong times half the time, too.

Sheep

Today after our Bible story and biography readings, we finished up our Russia unit. We're mixing things up a bit this time around . . . we actually started studying Great Britain before we finished studying Russia, so were doing some of both at the same time.

We are studying Great Britain this week, and one of the recommended animals to study is sheep. So today we studied sheep. We read library books about sheep, colored pictures of sheep, and I read William Blake's poem "The Lamb" aloud (doubly appropriate, since Blake is a well-known British author, of course). Psalm 23 and the parable of the lost sheep fit in great with today's lesson, too.

The kids ran around on their hands and knees for the next hour or so, baa-ing.

A parent's worry

Steven Curtis Chapman's little 5-year-old daughter Maria Sue was killed in their driveway when one of the older Chapman kids accidentally ran over her yesterday. I really feel for the family, and especially for Maria's big brother who was driving the car. That would be so hard.

It's an important reminder to always, always check behind your vehicle before backing up or driving off, and make sure all kids are accounted for and well out of the way.

I hadn't previously heard this song that SCC wrote for his daughters. It's so beautiful, about treasuring the time with them while they're little because before you know it they'll be gone. It made me cry today.

AJ came in while I was watching the video, listening to the song and crying. She wanted to see what it was all about. I tried to explain it gently and in an age-appropriate way. It upset her quite a bit, though.

She was concerned about the little girl and her family, and very upset that a 5-year-old could die.

She said, "But now she'll never get to grow up! Never, never! [sob]

What about the little boy that was waiting for her to grow up so they could get married? What will he do now?

How could God let a 5-year-old get killed like that? She didn't even get to grow up! How could God let her die, when she was still a little girl?"

With tears in my eyes, I said that I don't understand it, either. But that God knew before Maria was even born how long her life would be, and what His plan was for her. That we didn't understand why, but that she was in Heaven now with Him and would never have any more sorrow or pain, and that her family would see her again some day.

Peace

Physically, today was a difficult day. In other ways it was good. I'm gradually getting more strength and energy, but still struggling with a lot of pain and fatigue to varying degrees, as usual. I'm being sustained, though.

This song was going through my head tonight:

My peace I give unto you
It's a peace that the world cannot give
It's a peace that the world cannot understand
Peace to know
Peace to live
My peace I give unto you.

The song is an adaptation by Pauline Mills of Christ's words in John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." [KJV]

Growing in Grace

Ever since we had a talk about why, exactly, it's bad for the couch to jump on it and followed it up with family conversation brainstorming ways to meet the kids' jumping needs, the older two girls have had a much easier time treating the couch gently.

I've had to remind them maybe a couple of times in the last day or two, but they've pretty much left the couch alone. I've also made a point to play games with them that involve lots of jumping on the floor and other appropriate places. :)

We've been considering different ideas for jumping, and at the moment we're all leaning toward getting a big foam pad or cheap mattress or something like that, and trying to find some foam blocks or second-hand couch cushions to jump on and make forts out of. Since the kids want to play games of imagination with their jumping, they didn't think a mini trampoline would be as much fun.

Today Ebee started sliding down the arm of the couch while I cooked breakfast. I went over to her and said, "Ebee, the couch is not for sliding. If you want to slide, you can go outside and slide down the slide." She responded by starting to jump on the couch instead of sliding down it. :)

I said, "It's not good for the couch to jump on it." She said, "Dzump on the flooy, and wun on the flooy?" and got down and started running and jumping on the floor.

Yesterday was one of those "wow, they're really starting to get it" days. There were so many instances where I could see that the kids are really internalizing the things we've been trying to teach them.

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During our home group (Bible study) meeting yesterday afternoon, I noticed that M&M and Ebee started to get into an argument about a ball. But then--all on their own, with no adult intervention--they stopped and came to a solution about how they could both play with it together. They decided to roll it back and forth to each other, and had a blast doing it.

In the afternoon M&M took AJ's new toy teddy bear and hid it because she was jealous and wanted it. When AJ became upset that it was missing, M&M confessed what she had done and gave it back to her.

We talked about how sad that made AJ and why it was wrong, and then we tried to think of a way for M&M to make it right. I remembered that the Bible lays out a principle that when someone steals something, they need to give back double what they took as restitution, not just return the item they stole.

I mentioned the Biblical idea of restitution and suggested that M&M might want to consider giving AJ one of her own toys that she cared about to keep for a day, to help make up for taking AJ's toy for a day. M&M cried at the idea, but she decided that she would do it. She chose one of her most treasured possessions--a stuffed cat--to let AJ have until the next day.

It really touched my heart to see M&M weeping bitterly at the separation from her beloved toy, but choosing to do the difficult thing to make amends to her sister.

In the book Unconditional Parenting (which I have read only part of), Alfie Kohn talks about not saying "how would you feel if . . . " when a child does something that hurts someone else or makes them sad, but instead taking an approach of, "how do you think it makes that person feel when . . . ". That seems to be so much more effective for M&M than just asking her to think about how SHE would feel if someone had done something similar to her.

Kohn pointed out that the first version of the question (how would you feel if someone did this to you) has two problems:

First, it is more self-focused. It invites the child to focus on their own feelings and desires instead of on the other person's feelings.

And, it doesn't really take into account that the other person might feel differently about it. We've run into that problem quite a bit with our kids--they say, "Well, *I* wouldn't mind if someone did that to me, so I will do it to them." But maybe they don't mind being sat on, and the other person does.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is a very important principle, but I think it necessarily requires empathy and understanding of what you would want that person to do to you if you were them. Treating others the way you would want to be treated, when you know that they actually don't want to be treated that way, really doesn't follow the heart of the golden rule.

I think both questions can be useful, and considering the first can certainly help to develop empathy. But I don't want my kids (or myself) to stop at the first question. We somehow need to go beyond that to considering how the other person really feels about the matter.

This week I've been trying a new approach: having the child look into the eyes of the person she hurt to consider how they are feeling and try to put it into words. Especially for M&M, it is really hard to look the person in the face and make eye contact with their emotion, knowing that her action was the cause of it. But it seems to be instrumental in bringing about true compassion and repentance.

Last night AJ started out rather uncaring about M&M's stuffed cat. But when I quietly pointed out to her how special the cat was to M&M and how hard it was for her to let AJ have it for a while, AJ began treating it (and M&M) with extreme care and respect.

When she realized that M&M had loaned her the cat because she chose to, and not because I made her, it made a much greater impression on AJ. She suddenly valued the gesture and M&M's treasured pet, believed M&M's apology, and forgave her. She asked M&M's input on where the cat should sleep and how to do various things with it, and made sure to let M&M hold it for a few minutes before bed.

Then she offered to let M&M to hold the coveted teddy bear while I read the bedtime story.

When we prayed at the end of our bedtime routine, Ebee thanked God that M&M shared her kitty with AJ and that M&M shared her teddy bear with AJ. She had such admiration, pleasure, and sweet sincerity in her little voice as she gave thanks for her sisters' kindness to each other. I sat there thinking that I wouldn't want to miss these moments for the world.

Just before the girls went to sleep, Ebee was arranging her dolls to go to sleep also, when M&M realized that Ebee had one of M&M's dolls. We have 3 of the same doll, and there are only subtle differences, so Ebee thought it was hers and M&M was insistent that it was hers.

We looked at the doll carefully, and M&M calmed down enough to articulately point out the differences and the little marks that showed it was hers. Ebee listened and cried because she wanted to keep the doll.

Finally Ebee agreed that it was M&M's doll, but she wanted to keep it because she didn't know where her own was.

I said, "Ebee, I know you didn't mean to take M&M's doll, and we don't know where yours is. We'll help you look for yours later. But right now, you have M&M's doll. What do you think you should do about that?"

I completely expected her to put up a battle. I'm certain that if anyone had tried to take the doll from her by force, or order her to give it back, she would have held onto it with all her might, kicking and screaming. I could have forced her to give it up at that point, but it certainly wouldn't have been willingly on her part.

But when I asked Ebee what SHE thought should be done, she looked at the doll and then at M&M. Then she said, "Oh. I'm sowwy, M&M. Hewe you doh." And she handed M&M the doll.

It's amazing to me how, given the chance, the kids will often choose to do what they know is right. With my kids, I'm finding that they often remain self-focused if I step in with an order or force to make them do it. They may do it, but often grudgingly.

But even the 2-year-old often has an amazing capacity to choose the loving thing when given the freedom to make that choice and encouraged to think about the other person instead of herself. (Of course, this is in a context of lots of modeling, teaching and prayer throughout their lives that, I think, helps them to be more likely to make the right choices.)

When they don't make the choice on their own, then sometimes I may have to step in and enforce it. But I'm realizing that I can rob both my children and me of so much by stepping in too soon or with too much force.

I don't want to steal from them the opportunity and experience of doing the right thing not because they have to, but because they choose to. In many situations, it seems to be my task to help them understand what is right more than to make them do it. It's truly a beautiful thing when they freely choose what they know is right.

Maybe that's a small part of why God chose to give us so many choices, and so much free will.

Jumping Ideas Needed

The kids really really like to jump, but I don't want them jumping on the beds or couches (partly because of safety issues, and partly to take care of the furniture--and also because most of our furniture is borrowed and doesn't actually belong to us).

The floor isn't really bouncy enough to be a satisfying place to jump.

Neither DH nor I are comfortable with the idea of a trampoline, because we've seen too many really serious injuries from trampolines.

I've thought of getting an old mattress to put on the floor just for the kids to jump on, but I'm highly allergic to dust mites and all I can think of is dust mites spewing into the air with every bounce. :)

Are there any other options anyone can think of that would be relatively safe, inexpensive, and not too hard on my allergies? It also needs to be something that could be stowed away when necessary, and is not too hard to set up and take down. I'm wondering if an air mattress would work, but am not sure if it would be bouncy enough or durable enough.

Any other ideas?

Dear to my Heart

This morning a photographer came to do a photo shoot with the kids. While they were all dressed up, I shot a few snapshots too.

The girls really liked the pose we did the other day with their heads in my lap, so they decided they wanted me to take a similar pose with just the three of them today. It came out really beautiful, I think.

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We didn't do school today, and I just heated up some canned soup for lunch. That left me enough energy to play a game with the kids tonight, snap photos, giggle with them, and work with them on learning how to use the camera.

I've decided that tomorrow we're going to skip school and just spend time relaxing and playing together. Both the kids and I need that. I'm glad homeschooling gives us that kind of flexibility.

After having the photographer come today, the girls wanted to play photographer. Since (obviously) it's something I really enjoy, it's exciting to me that they are getting old enough to start learning how to take pictures. Even Ebee can carefully hold the camera and push the button, putting her little wrist through the strap and holding it just the way she sees me and the older kids do.

AJ took this one:



M&M took this one:



Ebee took this one (I had to make it really small, because all of hers showed clear faces):



I have really been struggling emotionally and spiritually this week, fighting discouragement, depression and all kinds of questions. But last night and today the Lord has been gently quieting my heart and reminding me of His faithfulness.

DH and I had a good talk last night. A friend called and prayed with me this afternoon, and another friend called and left a sweet message on my answering machine. I had some conversations with God and came to peace about some things. Today I was able to take my eyes off myself and focus on the Lord, my family, and the things that are truly important.

I'm smiling tonight.

When I was putting the kids to bed this evening, I asked if they were ready for me to pray with them.

Ebee said, "I am! I mahnt to pway fiwst."

Then she closed her eyes, folded her little hands and said, "I wuv my Mommy and I wuv my Daddy. I wuv AJ and M&M. I wuv my toys, and M&M's. I wuv my fwiends. Fank You. Dee end."

I imagine that made the Lord smile, too.

Getting ready for the cleaners

Approximately 8:30AM:








A few hours later:








The cleaners did not do all that picking up and decluttering. I did. (DH did the dishes and picked up before that, too, especially upstairs.) The cleaners just wipe down surfaces; we have to put away our own stuff, of course. The house as a whole still wasn't nearly as picked-up as I would have liked, but at least I got it to the "it's not ideal, but it'll have to do" stage.

I love having the cleaners come, but I always end up completely worn out just from getting ready for them. I'm starting to wonder if it's really worth the recovery time of the next few days or a week from me overdoing it trying to get ready for the cleaners. The surfaces still have to be cleared off before they can clean them, and DH's idea of getting ready for the cleaners is not quite the same as mine, exactly. [insert wry grin here] But imagine what the house would look like if the cleaners weren't coming every two weeks!

I tried to do too much in the last few days, and then I really overdid it today. I hate it when the pain and fatigue reaches this level. I'm going to bed as soon as DH gets home. At least we have leftovers to eat for supper. And the kids are playing happily in a blanket tent in the playroom. Maybe I'll post pictures of the tent tomorrow, if it's still up.

Blah

Two steps forward, twelve steps back.

Yet another professional telling me that there's really nothing that can be done to make life easier or help me cope better. That they don't know how I do it and they sympathize, but have no suggestions.

C'est la vie.

Can I get a refund?

Wordless Wenesday: Recess

Kids and More Kids

Here are a couple of pictures of the nanny goats and kids that we took at the goat farm when we went to pick up our milk. It's such a blessing to be able to get fresh, pure raw goat milk that we can tolerate.





Things are getting back to normal around here. The girls had a few rough days after my trip, but that was to be expected after having me sick and then gone for a while. Things have gone much more smoothly the last few days.

AWANA is done for the season. Both kids accomplished so much. M&M went from not wanting to participate at all, to loving it and being an important contribution to her team at the AWANA Olympic games. AJ was recognized as clubber of the year for her Sparks team. When she got her award they praised her heart for the Lord, her diligence in learning verses, her good sportsmanship, her enthusiasm, and her loving kindness toward everyone around her.

The teachers told us that they really appreciated both girls' enthusiastic participation, attitudes and diligence, and that they were well-liked by the teachers and the other kids. That was great to hear--especially after their difficult start and AJ's struggles with social skills, etc. last fall. All three kids are doing so well now.

I'm slowly regaining my strength and energy. I'm still having to be very careful how I budget my energy, but there is a little more of it. Yesterday and today I didn't hit the wall until mid-afternoon (around 3:30)--a great improvement over feeling like I was completely drained by midmorning or lunchtime at the latest. I even had the energy to do a few chores around the house in addition to helping the kids with their school. I'm so happy to see that improvement.

We are just finishing up our unit on Russia and getting ready to start studying Great Britain. There are some great books to go along with the UK. We just started reading Frances Hodgson Burnett's A Little Princess for our bedtime story. I'd forgotton how exceptionally well-written that book is. The kids were captured from page one. Of course, it doesn't hurt that it's about a little girl their age who loves to read and daydream a lot, just like them. :)

From the Heart

Purple_Kangaroo: "Muscles are not the best way to solve problems. We need to use our words, our minds and our hearts to solve problems; not our muscles."

M&M: "Our hearts? How do we use our hearts to solve problems?!"

PK: "Well, our hearts are for being kind and loving to each other."

AJ: "No. Our hearts are for pumping blood through our bodies."

Mother's Day 2008

Like many women, I rarely like seeing photographs of myself. I prefer to be the person behind the camera.

A few years ago, though, I read an essay by a woman whose mother had died. As the children went through family photos, they discovered that they had very few photos of their mother. There were almost no photos of the mother and her children together. Looking at the photo albums, one would have almost thought the children had no mother. She was essentially absent from the photographic family history.

As my eyes filled with tears over the woman's ache at the missing photos, I vowed that my children would not grow up to have photo albums void of their mother. No matter how un-photogenic I think I am, my kids need to have pictures of their childhood that include both parents. Since then I've made a point to make sure some of our candid photos include me, DH, or both of us.

Mother's Day seemed like a perfect opportunity to have DH take some pictures of me with the kids. I even liked the way some of them turned out.

Double Date

When DH and Malamute Rescue Guy went to a music conference last year, they bought tickets to Phil Keaggy's big anniversary tour. We've been eagerly waiting for this day for months now. The Malamute Rescuers came to pick us up, and we left early this afternoon to drive the distance in time to have dinner and then go to the concert. It was amazing.

If anyone reading doesn't know who Phil Keaggy is, he's one of the world's greatest guitarists.

He does a huge range of styles from classical solo guitar and improvisation to band-style music and also writes some music with vocals. He can do the most complicated things with a guitar that I've ever seen. Half the time I can't figure out how he's getting those sounds out of the instrument with just two hands. And he does it all with only 9 fingers.

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I knew Phil Keaggy could do amazing things with a guitar. But I'd never heard him make an electric guitar sound like a set of bagpipes before. He did that tonight. He also made it sound like a pipe organ and a number of other things I didn't know were possible. [ETA: This video shows the bagpipe thing and the setup for it better . . . that part starts about 5 minutes in.]

You can hear bits and pieces of the music here--except that it's never quite exactly the same. He does so much improvising and creating variations on the spot.

The rest of the band was amazing, too. There was one guy named Tom Shinness who must have played at least 8 or 10 different instruments, including the harp-guitar, mandolin, guitar, zither and viola. Drummer John Sferra and flautist Melissa Lautenbach also stood out as incredible musicians, although they were all good.

At one point toward the end of the concert, someone from the audience yelled out asking Phil to play a song called "Sounds."

He said, "Well, most of the people up here on stage haven't learned that song. But we could jam it." And they did. Boy did they.

My favorite song that they played tonight was "What a Day." I leaned over and told DH that I want that song played at my funeral. The sound quality here is really horrible, but it gives you a general idea of the tune and feel of the song.

This concert was very different from the Phil Keaggy concert we went to a few years ago. That one was more of his solo classical guitar. I don't know if "more mellow" would describe it--it's certainly not bland--but definitely a much more classical style of music. I was slightly disappointed that we didn't get to see a bit more of his looping improvisation this time, but I definitely enjoyed the band, too.

I also enjoyed spending time with our friends Malamute Rescue Couple. We really had a good time. They'd never been to a Keaggy concert before and enjoyed it immensely.

Tired

Hmmm, maybe I could just ship the kids off somewhere for a week or two?

The whiny, argumentative, meltdown-prone, uncooperative, can't-get-along-with-each-other, hitting/pushing/screaming, I-just-want-Daddy, sweet little darlings that I came home to and don't have the energy to deal with in the engaged, interactive, high-energy, extra-nurturing way that they need right now.

Somehow I thought that being away for several days and having lots of opportunity to rest while gone might actually be helpful. I enjoyed my trip and I'm really glad that I got to see my sister. But boy am I tired now. And the kids have been acting out like crazy ever since I got back.

Trying to recover from both mono and a cross-continental trip, on top of everything else, is not that easy. Especially when the kids really need me to have more, not less, energy than usual--and I just don't have it.

All I really want to do right now is hide in a cave and sleep for a year.

Prank Calls?

10:15PM--Male who sputtered and choked (while I said, "Hello? Hello? Who is this? What did you say?") until he finally gained composure enough to identify himself as Santa Claus. I couldn't think what to say, so responded with only silence until he hung up.

11:15PM--Female who said, "I can see you." DH's only response was to hang up.

Why do kids think this sort of thing is even funny??? Especially that late in the evening. I thought about lecturing them, but figured that probably a non-response was the best response. That and tracing the phone call through the phone company's reporting system, which I did.

We quite frequently get calls that involve silence and then hanging up, but this was unusual. The fact that they called us twice in one night seems to make it a bit less likely that it was somebody just calling random numbers.

Travel Mercies

I am starting to recover from the trip, I think.

I did end up requesting a wheelchair in the airports on the way home. It felt strange and embarrassing, but it really helped me not to be quite so utterly exhausted and barely-functional for the next few days. On the way out there I had a difficult time making it through the airports--especially the huge Atlanta airport. I had trouble getting from one gate to the other in time and carrying my purse and carry-on, and was especially tired and sore the next couple of days. Especially since I'm still recovering from mono, it just doesn't take much for me to overdo it.

I had been able to rest a lot after flying out there, but I knew I needed to be functional to take care of the kids when I got home. Ideally I would have liked to just have a cart transport me from gate to gate, but they didn't have that available, so a wheelchair was the best option. Still, it felt odd. I wasn't even sure how much to tip the skycaps for pushing me around.


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Sis J and I were both tired and not feeling well after I arrived in SC, so we spent most of the next day (Wednesday) resting. Of course, it's not a good thing that we both have health issues, but it was kind of nice in a way that we both were moving at a slow pace and needed lots of rest. Neither of us was really holding the other back, or sitting around bored while the other took naps. We both rested as much as we could and were constantly looking for ways to conserve spoons. We spent much of the time napping and doing things like giving each other backrubs, scrounging for "safe" food, or lying down resting while we chatted.

I got to rest quite a bit more than J did during my visit, because I didn't have to be at all the activities. So I'd sleep 11 or 12 hours at night and then usually rest some more in the afternoon. J arranged rides for me back and forth from her apartment to the school when there were events I wanted to attend, which was really helpful.

It's funny; even though J surely felt worse than I did, she was always looking out for me. She could see right through me, too. I'd start feeling like I needed to sit down and she'd take one look at me and say, "We need to find someplace for you to rest."

I tried to look out for her, too. So then we'd both be asking each other if we were ok. J tried to make sure I had places to sit down when I needed to, and I watched out for things like sloped walkways and flashing lights that I knew would give her problems and tried to help with what I could.

When the rest of my family (my parents and little sister Sparrow) arrived, we were chuckling because we made quite a team. Mom had fallen and hurt her knees a few days before, and of course she has to be careful about a lot of things and keep to a strict medication schedule because of her kidney transplant. Sparrow, Sis J and I all have wierd health issues which involve chronic pain and fatigue, as well as food intolerances and some other stuff. Dad doesn't have any major health issues, but he seemed pretty tired after the trip. So we were all constantly checking on each other and joking around about things like brain fog.

Even though I missed DH and the kids, it was kind of fun to be just the 5 of us for a few days . . . Mom, Dad and we three sisters. We went grocery shopping together and I fixed a meal we could all eat, which was nice. And we all ate lots of chocolate. :)

The trip was special for me. I got to spend time with my family, especially Sis J who I hadn't seen for several months. I wished I could have helped Sis J more with things like laundry, but at least I brought her some food she could eat and got to spend time visiting with her.

I really enjoyed being at my old school, attending events and visiting with some friends from when I was a student there. It was especially nice that I got to see both of the teachers who were the most special to me (my favorite writing and speech teachers), and that they remembered me and encouraged me to continue in the skills they helped me develop. It was especially neat that I "just happened" to run into my speech teacher after being unable to find her listed in the yearbook or in the school directories. I'm so delighted that the Lord allowed me to find her just sitting on a bench on campus when she and I both had a few minutes free to visit.

It was a good trip. I'm glad I went.

Home Again, Home Again

I'm home. Very tired, but glad I went. I had a good time. It was great to see DH and the kids.

I'll write more after I get some rest.

Performaces, Picnic and Teachers

Today was a lot of fun. Mom, Dad and Sparrow got in last night, so they were able to pick us up and drive us around today.

J's friends have been wonderful about giving us rides, since neither one of us was up to walking the mile between campus and J's apartment. But it was nice not to have to worry about finding rides today. And, of course, it was nice to have the whole family together.

I skipped the morning activities and slept until 11AM. That left me feeling much better today. I wish J could have gotten some extra rest too, but she was required to go to all the scheduled convocation events.

We went to the performance of Henry V, which I enjoyed immensely. I had no idea it was so funny! I found myself wishing DH was here, because he would have enjoyed it as well.

We went grocery shopping in the afternoon, and then went to a picnic and met more of J's friends. Her friends are so nice. They made us all feel so immediately comfortable and included.

The commencement concert was thoroughly enjoyable, interspersing classical music with narrations from literature. Selections included The Hobbit, Tom Sawyer and The Wind in the Willows. Copies will be available to purchase, so I think I'll get one to take home. DH and the girls would like it, I think, and I'd enjoy being able to listen to it again.

The best part was that while we were walking in to the concert, we ran into my beloved speech teacher, Mrs. H. Sis J and I had looked for her in the school directory unsuccessfully, and I was so disappointed that she didn't seem to be here. It was such a gift to see her and talk with her. She was just as I remembered her--so warm and articulate, with a twinkling smile and eyes that seem to connect directly to the heart.

We also got to see my creative writing teacher, Mrs. JLT. She remembered me and my classmates quite well, saying that we were a particularly memorable group of students. We really had a great mix of colorful personalitites in that poetry writing class.

Mrs JLT said that she uses one of my poems as an example in her class each year. Wow! That was flattering. She encouraged me to keep in touch, and told me to be sure and send her a copy of my first book whenever I get one published. :)

Seeing two of the teachers that were so influential for me really made me want to get serious about honing my writing and speaking abilities. I'd love to take more classes to improve my skills.

Unfortunately, I didn't even think to get photos with my teachers until later. I wish I'd done that. Oh, well.

I'm missing my husband and kids, and they're missing me. But we get to talk on the phone and/or via e-mail a few times a day. It will be great to be back with them in a couple of days.

University

I'm really enjoying my trip--spending time with SisJ, wandering around campus, meeting her friends and attending commencement activities.

It's strange being back at school again so long after being a student. Things are much as I remember them, and yet different.

The students look so young. One of J's teachers took one look at me today and said to J, "This must be your mother." We're less than 2 years apart in age, but J doesn't have gray hair like I do. I look and feel much older than my 31, I know. And yet, in other ways I still feel like I could be a teenager going to college with these kids.

J got all her papers and exams done, and did quite well on them. Now all she has to do is finish reading her Cellular and Molecular Biology book and take the tests for it, and then finish the psychology class she'll be taking in summer school. Lord willing, she'll get her degree in August.

Today we went to the awards ceremony and presentations, and then to the Knowledge Bowl finals and the pre-med banquet. J and I are both really tired, so we're going to bed early. Tomorrow we get to go to Artist's Series (this year they're performing Shakespeare's Henry V) and the commencement concert. Mom, Dad and my youngest sister Sparrow are flying in tonight, so it will be fun to have the whole family together for a few days.

I e-mailed my wonderful creative writing teacher from when I was here in '95-97, and she remembered me from Poetry Writing class! She isn't in her office today or tomorrow, but she told me where she'll be sitting at the commencement concert so I can find her there. I'm looking forward to that.

My other two favorite teachers don't seem to be here any more, but I'm glad that Mrs. J.L.T. is here. It was so nice to see, "Of course I remember you!" in the e-mail from her.