Who knew MSDS sheets could be so helpful?

A couple of nights ago, DH was putting the kids to bed and AJ asked him if nail polish was poisonous, why people made it and put it on their fingernails. She showed him in the poison safety coloring book she got from the fire station that nail polish was one of the things listed as a "poison."

She hasn't been believing our reassurances based on our own authority, so instead of reassuring her immediately, he got online and did a search for "poison nail polish."

He found a page explaining emergency procedures if someone ingests nail polish, and let her read it. It said that if a person had only drunk one bottle of nail polish, the ER staff probably wouldn't be too concerned, but if they'd ingested about 5 bottles of it then there would be cause for worry. This vastly relieved AJ. She and DH talked about how unlikely it was that anyone would actually drink 5 bottles of nail polish, and how silly that would be.

Then AJ started running her finger across the picture in the book, giggling and saying, "Look! I'm touching poison!" and giggling again.

Yesterday I had a chat with AJ, explaining to her how the 3 rules about germs, with very little tweaking, also applied to poison. Then we spent quite a bit of time in the evening going through the poison safety coloring book, looking up the MSDS (material safety data sheets) on the various substances.

AJ was surprised and pleased that information on the contents, toxicity, effects and treatment for all those substances were readily available. She loved reading them, kept wanting to look up more and more substances, and didn't want to stop at bedtime.

Of course, not one of the items was something so toxic that a trace amount touching something which touches something else which touches someone's hand or lips would be a big issue. I think learning that even for highly toxic items, there are actually established treatments for what to do if someone ingests them was comforting to AJ, too.

After I finally told her it was time to stop and go to bed, she said she felt "mildly relieved."

Then she said, "Mom, if I get up in the middle of the night worrying about poison, can you remind me about this?"

She didn't wake in the middle of the night, and for maybe the first time in weeks she didn't wake us first thing in the morning crying and worrying.

It's too early to tell for sure how much it helped, but so far today we haven't heard a single mention of poison, and AJ seems quite a bit more relaxed.

Rules Needed

Before this poison kick, AJ was worried about germs (interspersed with other things like being concerned about people mispronouncing or using the wrong words or putting the pens away wrong, of course).

We tried lots of different things, but finally DH came up with a strategy that seemed to be pretty effective. He came up with three "rules" for AJ to use to determine for herself if she needed to be concerned about germs or not in any given situation.

I'm not sure I have them exactly the way he taught them to her, but the basic idea is this:

Rule 1: Only worry about major, really bad germs that come from things like toilets. Most daily objects don't have bad enough germs to be a concern, but if you've done something really germy like go to the bathroom or something really dirty like play in mud, you may wash your hands. [We were trying to limit the handwashing because she was doing it so much she was damaging the skin on her hands.]

Rule 2: Only worry if the germs are going into your mouth. So if you plan to eat or stick your fingers in your mouth, go ahead and wash your hands.

Rule 3: If it's already happened and there's nothing you can do about it now, don't worry about it. So if you wake up in the night and realize that you touched the wall which might have touched your nightgown, which might have touched the toilet earlier, don't worry about it. If you realize you just ate something off a spoon that had a speck on it, don't worry about it because it's already happened and there's nothing you can do about it now.

After a while of fielding questions and worries by reminding her of the specific rule that applied in the situation, eventually it was only necessary to say, "Rule 3" and she would say, "Oh. Yeah. OK." and at least stop crying and talking about it, if not thinking about it.

She's a lot less worried about germs the last couple of weeks. Of course, she switched to worrying about poison instead.

As Kevin pointed out, maybe we should come up with a similar set of rules to help her determine whether something is poison or not, and what to do about it.

Any ideas?

She actually did it

M&M and Ebee are getting pretty good at trying to think of ways to distract and cheer up AJ when her brain is stuck. It doesn't necessarily work, but it's sweet to see them try.

This morning AJ was worried that something green on a bowl in the dishwasher was poison, and when accusing me of not believing her or caring about her when I didn't buy into it didn't work, she switched to crying about how Ebee never shares toys with her.

M&M tried to help AJ think of happy thoughts, while Ebee immediately ran and got several of her favorite toys to share with AJ, which rather deflated that particular escalation. Of course, then she didn't want the toys (even the one AJ had specifically said she wanted) and explained that really it was "the P-word" that she was worried about, and not Ebee's toys.

The amazing thing is that ever since I asked her to take a break from talking about poison, she has strictly avoided using the word--has said it maybe once, if that. It amazes me that she's able to do that so well.

It hasn't stopped her worrying about it, but she instantly became very good about freaking out about poison without actually saying the word. She'd be very good at that game where you have to describe things without saying a particular set of words. :)

Her brain works very well with "rules" that she can follow strictly. Now if I can figure out how to harness that to actually help her stop worrying . . .

Please, not the P word!

I let the kids wear costumes to hand out candy to the neighbor kids tonight. They all looked so cute.

Ebee thinks she's found the ultimate logical reason for why she should eat all candy NOW: "But if I don't eat it, it will melt."

AJ's obsession of the month is poison. Probably stemming from a combination of a Fire Department Open House (which included a presentation and coloring book from poison control) and a PBS special on venomous snakes in the last month or so.

I keep reminding myself that at least this time it's not something about one of the other kids (like when she was hiding under chairs screaming and lying awake at night worrying about the way M&M drew pictures, or that one of the other kids was swinging higher than AJ on the swings, etc.).

The counselor says extremely helpful things like, "Well, just stop thinking about it," "Think about something else," and "You're giving her too much attention when she does it--no, wait, you're not paying her enough attention." "If you just punish her when she does this sort of thing, she'll stop." Etc.

She says things to AJ like, "Well you just need to figure out what worries are real and which are just silly" but she hasn't been able to give any suggestions or tools for how to do it.

We are looking for a counselor who is a better fit. Preferably one that shares or at least has respect for our faith, and doesn't respond to questions like "Why did God make bad things like germs?" with a deer-in-the-headlights look and a nebulous mumbling about Mother Nature.

NLASS, who is very good at handling circumstances with grace and humor, watched the girls for a few hours yesterday while I ran errands. She called me two or three times to tell me that AJ was driving her crazy worrying about poison, but she never let on to the kids--just figured out ways to distract them or make them laugh.

She made up silly stories about bungling burglers who spilled poison on themselves while trying to use it on someone else, and came up with pretty compelling distractions. NLASS even drank paint water and licked soap in an attempt to prove to AJ that the manufacturers had not actually lied about it being nontoxic in an attempt to sneak poison into unsuspecting homes.

AJ was asked to take a break from talking about poisonpoisonPOISON for the weekend, because Mommy and NLASS are being driven. crazy. after weeks of hearing about poison approximately 60 million times a day (ok, that might be a slight exaggeration). (And Mommy is very tired, after being kept up until almost midnight and woken at something like 6AM to field worries about poison yet again.)

So a few minutes ago AJ (who mentioned to me a bit earlier that she got her costume wet washing her face and hands) wrote the following note in her notebook and left it open on the table:

"It's Halloween, And my whole costume is wett do you think it mihgt be poisen?"

M&M found the note and wrote on it, "Anser: No. I would say not." and on the next page (which I managed to make disappear before AJ saw) she wrote, "You are So Silly!"

AJ thereupon had a meltdown that M&M wrote in her notebook.

M&M recopied AJ's note nicely on the next page of AJ's notebook, sans answer, crossed out her comment on the first copy and wrote, "Sorry. I diden't now it [the notebook] was yors," next to it.

AJ was mollified.

Sweet. I love it when they're able to do such good conflict resolution.

The kids are also all responding with very good humor to the new "rule" that anyone who says the P word has to immediately do two jumping jacks.

College Town

DH is traveling right now, visiting his Alma Mater. It's a big anniversary celebration, and since DH's Great-great (?) grandfather founded the college and their family has remained quite involved with it, as many as possible of the family went out for the event. DH's mom and several of his siblings, nieces and nephews are all there.

They have been having a great time, except that yesterday DH's sister, SIL from Flat Land, slipped on a wet sidewalk and broke a bone in her upper arm. Ouch. No more piano-playing or driving for a while. Poor SIL.

I'm praying that SIL's arm heals quickly and well, and that they all have a great time and get home safely (with no more injuries).

I miss DH, but I'm glad he was able to go.

Project Success

Our beans and rice project went well. Our goal had been to raise enough money for one well, which with a matching grant would dig two wells in Nicaragua. Instead, we were able to raise enough money for 4 wells, which with the matching grant will be 8! Praise the Lord!

We learned a lot during the week about how people in poverty live, about the people group we're helping with the wells, and about the Lord. The kids did really well with it, and it was a great experience.

Beans and Rice

This week, we're eating beans, rice and water. All week long, for every meal. It's a project our church is doing together as part of our current sermon and activity series.

We've been having a lot of messages about loving God and others, and passages like the Good Samaritan. Last week we heard a message about the passage where Jesus said that when we give a cup of cold water or help someone in need in His name, we do it for Him. This week the entire church is being asked to participate, at whatever level is appropriate for their abilities, age, health issues, etc. in a beans, rice and water fast.

The rice and beans project is to help us learn about, empathize with and pray for those who live in poverty around the world, appreciate what we have and be willing to share in our blessings. The best part is that we're all taking the money we save on groceries and sending it to Forward Edge International to dig a well (hopefully two wells) in a desperately needy village in Nicaragua.

The kids and I are doing a slightly modified version, allowing ourselves a few vegetables along with the beans and rice. DH and NLASS are sticking to just beans and rice, although seasonings are allowed. So far, it's going well.

The kids aren't a big fan of beans, but they're learning to appreciate some dishes they otherwise would have been hesitant to try.

We've spent quite a bit of time talking, learning about and praying for the people who get very little to eat, and who would be thankful to have such a quantity and variety of beans and rice as we're getting. The girls were very touched by reading and seeing videos about the kids living in the dump in Managua (note: Some of the videos touch on some topics that may be sensitive for children--you may want to prewatch it and note any places where you'll want to mute the video).

We joined this project to contribute to blessing others. But we're getting blessed through it ourselves as we learn about the people and projects in Nicaragua, take our eyes off ourselves, and gain a greater appreciation for God's blessing in our lives.

Wordless Wednesday 23 Sept 2009: Ebee on Flouride

Kidness

Ebee and M&M just made up a new bedtime game. Ebee is a princess and M&M is her servant. So M&M helps Ebee get ready for bed and waits on her hand and foot, while Ebee lies in bed and tells M&M what do to. They're both having a blast.

It seems a little backwards, though . . . doesn't this game usually happen when the older child talks the little brother or sister into pretending to be the servant while the older kid acts like royalty?

I'm glad they're both enjoying themselves, and it warms my heart to see M&M choosing to practice servanthood.