The Strike Continues
Well, Baby E hasn't nursed since lunchtime yesterday. I've been pumping and offering her milk in all different ways. For most of the day she absolutely refused all foods but the most "safe" familiar foods--rice, bananas, applesauce, water.
To me, her reaction to food and to breastmilk seems less one of independence or taste and more one of fear. As A. Borealis had put it so well, it's almost as if she is "[beginning] to see eating and food as [her] enemy instead of a form of nourishment or pleasure."
She seems to be afraid that nursing or eating will make her sick. Who can blame her, poor thing? She doesn't just refuse nursing, as would be normal for a self-weaning child. She really seems to have an aversion to breastmilk itself, even if it's in a bottle or cup.
She doesn't act like a child who is happy about weaning. She acts like a child who really wants to nurse even though she won't. She cuddles up to me and rubs her face and mouth on my arms. She wiggles herself almost into nursing position and sucks on her own lip. She grabs my hand and uses it to stroke her face, or holds it to her mouth while she sucks on her lip. At one point today, she was literally licking my hand.
She is giving all her traditional signals of wanting to nurse--even making the sign language "milk" sign--but still adamantly refuses to nurse. I've even tried nursing her while she's asleep, as the La Leche League and other resources suggest as a cure for nursing strikes. It amazes me that she can appear to be sound asleep, but sense the milk inches away from her face and start clamping her lips together and shaking her head even before she opens her eyes.
Finally tonight we seem to be making the tiniest bit of progress. She took two swallows of milk from a bottle without gagging and spitting it out. She tried a food she'd been refusing to taste for days--cauliflower--and liked it.
She seems to be feeling much better today, but is still having a lot of difficulty sleeping. She woke up at 5 a.m. again today, and right now it's 12:30 a.m. and she's been fighting sleep for hours, falling asleep briefly only to wake again. I'm completely worn out dealing with her, so thankfully DH took over a few minutes ago.
I can hear her screaming in the other room while he tries again all the things I've been trying to soothe her to sleep. He just gave up rocking her and carried her downstairs, and all the way down the hall I could hear her high-pitched screaming escalating until she sounded like she'd choke. If she would settle down when I held her, I'd do it happily, but she's just as bad for me. Putting her in her crib and letting her cry, rocking her, offering various foods and beverages, giving teething tablets--nothing seems to work.
I can't help but think that if she would just give in and try nursing one more time, she'd be able to relax and go to sleep so much easier, and she wouldn't be driving herself and me crazy trying to duplicate nursing without any danger of ingesting the dreaded milk.
I keep thinking that if I had just figured out what was wrong one day sooner, and stopped eating sweet potatoes, then everything would be fine by now. That third day of painful results from ingesting my milk, on top of the more intense reaction from consuming it herself, probably was the last straw in creating negative associations with the flavor of milk for her. Of course, we don't even know for sure if it was the sweet potatoes, the yogurt, some cross-contamination problem, an illness or something else.
Even considering the list of her common allergy symptoms as Liz wisely suggested, I can't be sure this is actually allergy-related and not something else--especially since it just seems to be going on for so long, even with a very limited and presumably safe diet.
I really don't want to fall into the too-easy trap of blaming everything on allergies, but I don't want to miss identifying allergic reactions by attributing them to other causes either. All her symptoms, even when combined, could quite possibly be caused by other things.
Tomorrow we should be able to pick up the corn- and soy-free generic Tylenol the clinic's compounding pharmacy made for her. Maybe that will help on nights like this.
All I know is that she's miserable, and it's breaking my heart. I want so badly to make it all better for her. But I can't. I feel so helpless.
To me, her reaction to food and to breastmilk seems less one of independence or taste and more one of fear. As A. Borealis had put it so well, it's almost as if she is "[beginning] to see eating and food as [her] enemy instead of a form of nourishment or pleasure."
She seems to be afraid that nursing or eating will make her sick. Who can blame her, poor thing? She doesn't just refuse nursing, as would be normal for a self-weaning child. She really seems to have an aversion to breastmilk itself, even if it's in a bottle or cup.
She doesn't act like a child who is happy about weaning. She acts like a child who really wants to nurse even though she won't. She cuddles up to me and rubs her face and mouth on my arms. She wiggles herself almost into nursing position and sucks on her own lip. She grabs my hand and uses it to stroke her face, or holds it to her mouth while she sucks on her lip. At one point today, she was literally licking my hand.
She is giving all her traditional signals of wanting to nurse--even making the sign language "milk" sign--but still adamantly refuses to nurse. I've even tried nursing her while she's asleep, as the La Leche League and other resources suggest as a cure for nursing strikes. It amazes me that she can appear to be sound asleep, but sense the milk inches away from her face and start clamping her lips together and shaking her head even before she opens her eyes.
Finally tonight we seem to be making the tiniest bit of progress. She took two swallows of milk from a bottle without gagging and spitting it out. She tried a food she'd been refusing to taste for days--cauliflower--and liked it.
She seems to be feeling much better today, but is still having a lot of difficulty sleeping. She woke up at 5 a.m. again today, and right now it's 12:30 a.m. and she's been fighting sleep for hours, falling asleep briefly only to wake again. I'm completely worn out dealing with her, so thankfully DH took over a few minutes ago.
I can hear her screaming in the other room while he tries again all the things I've been trying to soothe her to sleep. He just gave up rocking her and carried her downstairs, and all the way down the hall I could hear her high-pitched screaming escalating until she sounded like she'd choke. If she would settle down when I held her, I'd do it happily, but she's just as bad for me. Putting her in her crib and letting her cry, rocking her, offering various foods and beverages, giving teething tablets--nothing seems to work.
I can't help but think that if she would just give in and try nursing one more time, she'd be able to relax and go to sleep so much easier, and she wouldn't be driving herself and me crazy trying to duplicate nursing without any danger of ingesting the dreaded milk.
I keep thinking that if I had just figured out what was wrong one day sooner, and stopped eating sweet potatoes, then everything would be fine by now. That third day of painful results from ingesting my milk, on top of the more intense reaction from consuming it herself, probably was the last straw in creating negative associations with the flavor of milk for her. Of course, we don't even know for sure if it was the sweet potatoes, the yogurt, some cross-contamination problem, an illness or something else.
Even considering the list of her common allergy symptoms as Liz wisely suggested, I can't be sure this is actually allergy-related and not something else--especially since it just seems to be going on for so long, even with a very limited and presumably safe diet.
I really don't want to fall into the too-easy trap of blaming everything on allergies, but I don't want to miss identifying allergic reactions by attributing them to other causes either. All her symptoms, even when combined, could quite possibly be caused by other things.
Tomorrow we should be able to pick up the corn- and soy-free generic Tylenol the clinic's compounding pharmacy made for her. Maybe that will help on nights like this.
All I know is that she's miserable, and it's breaking my heart. I want so badly to make it all better for her. But I can't. I feel so helpless.
Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
Posted by purple_kangaroo at 12:20 AM[Permanent link]
4 Comments:
((((Purple_Kangaroo))))
Hi - I will pray for you guys! Knowing how hungry Adela is all the time, I worry for Baby E! Adela started solids a week before baby E and has been "grazing" ever since. These little guys have tiny stomachs and must feel hunger pains a lot - I often find that Adela just wakes up to get milk in her tummy and goes right back to sleep.
You're a quick one - I was wondering about the distinction on breads w/ the types diet, too... after reading the whole book and making my spreadsheet of foods. I hope to clarify that at an LLL meeting this morning... it seemed like the auther was saying similar foods still react differently in the blood stream.
God bless!!! Colleen
Thanks, CCW.
Colleen, Thanks for your prayers. At your meeting it would also be interesting to ask why gluten is on the "harmful" list while some gluten-containing foods, such as spelt (or was it Kamut?) are on the safe list. There were quite a few of those sorts of things that just didn't make sense to me.
in response to the distinction on foods - my LLL leader said she would have to go back and look into it but she just said that some foods are more "caking" than others on the digestive tract. This is not like allergies where one ingredient causes a reaction but rather the item is different as a whole. i.e. I can have wheat bagels but english muffins and whole wheat bread are "avoids"... so I compared ingredients and wondered WHY? The auther is taking this, too, from imperical laboratory tests. Intuitively, it does seem like wheat bread is more caking than wheat bagels. HMMM
And, Doug is the rare type B - lucky him, "B is for Balanced" Good thing he's always donating blood on lunch breaks!!
:-) Colleen
Post a Comment
<< Purple Puzzle Place Home