Wings as Eagles

I was standing in the front yard when a majestic bald eagle swooped down so near to me that I grabbed hold of its tail and went soaring into the sky with it.

Up, up we went, the wind rushing through my hair as the huge wings flapped above me. The eagle shot high into the air and coasted over the treetops, then began a long glide down.

I saw the stunned, awed and frightened looks on my parents' faces and thought about letting go as the eagle neared the earth. But the eagle didn't seem to mind having a passenger, and I chose to continue the flight instead of clinging to the safety of the ground.

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I kept my grip as we soared up again and over the house. This time the eagle went even higher. We climbed into the blue sky, past treetops and fluffy white clouds.

The sky was such a brilliant blue. We were high above the tall old douglas fir trees, and even above the flight patterns of the smaller birds. I could see for miles around. The feeling of being in flight was incredible.

The eagle swooped downward again, but not near enough to the ground this time for me to let go. It soared higher, enjoying the power of its wings lifting both me and the eagle into the heavens.

My hands and arms were beginning to cramp by this point, but my grip didn't loosen. As the eagle seemed to head farther from home, I began to worry a bit about where I might end up if it carried me far away.

Then the eagle folded its wings and plummeted toward the earth, diving with incredible speed. The rushing air whistled in my ears and took my breath away.

Soon the eagle opened its wings to slow our fall. But, unexpectedly, my extra weight meant that we fell faster than the eagle had intended despite its attempts to slow our descent.

As the earth rushed toward us, I felt just a twinge of fear. I knew I could die, but it didn't frighten me much. I knew I was taking that risk when I decided to fly. Even now, the flight seemed worth it.

I spread my body out as much as I could, trying to catch the wind like the eagle's spread wings. Even as we rocketed toward the earth I felt the eagle's wings controlling and slowing our fall.

We neared the ground, and I knew that we were going to be okay. If I let go, the eagle would recover its lift and soar into the sky again. I would hit the ground hard, but I'd be all right.

I prepared myself for a for a heavy impact and let go.

The eagle soared up into the sky again, but I didn't fall hard as I expected. Instead, I caught the lift of the air with my body and floated slowly, gently down to earth. I landed on my feet, crouching, with the gentlest bump.

The sense of wonder and exhilaration was incredible.

As I watched the eagle disappear into the sky above, I leaped into the air with my arms raised, yelling, "Woohoo!"

My celebratory leap caught the breeze again, and I floated through the air as if there was almost no gravity, coasting on air currents. My shouts of joy echoed through the sky.

Finally I landed again and clenched my fist as in victory, shouting "Yes!" I was crying and laughing, overcome by joy, exhilaration and awe.

My dad, who had followed to the back yard, looked at me in amazement, sharing my wonder at the flight of the eagle.

"They shall mount up on wings as eagles," I said slowly. "So that's what it feels like. On wings as eagles."

I woke up smiling. For the first time in weeks, I felt truly rested and peaceful.

Isaiah 40:31 echoed through my mind:

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

The dream was a gift. I don't know if it's an answer to the prayers our church home group sent heavenward last night or not, but God knew I needed some rest and encouragement and came through just in time.

As I woke from the eagle dream, Baby E woke up screaming. She started up right where she left off last night.

Picking her up didn't calm her at all. No matter what I did, she threw her body violently in every direction, without regard to what she might be slamming her head against. That went on for a long time.

Finally she settled down a bit, but was still short-fused and unhappy for the rest of the morning. She acted like she wanted to nurse, but threw a tantrum when I offered to let her.

She was jealous of the pump, climbing into my lap and trying to pull it off me. She wanted nothing to do with nursing, though, just cuddling up to me and sucking on her lip while holding my hand against her face with both of hers.

When I finished pumping, she asked for a bottle and eagerly lifted it to her lips, but took only a few swallows. Still, that's progress I think.

I feel less discouraged today. I have a plan.

For the next few days Baby E and I are going to eat only a handful of foods. I'm keeping the list short and simple, limited strictly to the few foods I'm as close as possible to 100% certain Baby E tolerates well: Rice, bananas, pears, broccoli, chicken and perhaps squash--I'm still debating the squash.

I think, at least for the first few days, I'll keep even the seasonings down to salt and pepper, will use no oil except the chicken fat incidental in cooking, and will avoid anything with potential cross-contamination issues like rice flour.

We'll eat those 5 foods for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Hopefully after a few days of the limited diet, Baby E's current issues will resolve themselves. At that point I'll start adding new foods one at a time, carefully, a few days apart.

I'm going back to the beginning. This time I'm going to make sure that traces of a food I haven't introduced to Baby E in my milk don't compromise the accuracy of our food challenges. Since she is wanting to at least try taking my milk in a cup or bottle, I am going to put myself on the same elimination diet she's doing.

Maybe within a few days she'll either stop taking milk completely or start nursing again; for the mean time I'll just keep pumping and being available to her if she decides to nurse.

If this elimination diet doesn't seem to solve whatever is going on with Baby E that's making her so miserable, I'll be harassing the doctor until we get some answers.

There's got to be some reason for her discomfort and unhappiness. It seems too extreme and persistent to be something simple like teething.