Resting and Processing

It's been a very busy few weeks. First, SIL The Mentor and her husband, Science Teacher BIL, and Sweet and Energetic SIL came and spent 4 days helping us do a "total home makeover"--decluttering, organizing, moving furniture, and even doing some painting and redecorating.

Then FIL passed away. All 12 of his children were able to come into town, from as far as Africa and the Middle East. We had a lovely memorial service and lots of family time.

Now we're all tired. But doing OK.

We're also still trying to figure out how to best manage AJ's challenges. We did have an appointment with a child psychiatrist. He interviewed all of us together and then her alone, and put her through some evaluations.

A lot of what he told us after that, we were nodding our heads and saying, "Yep, no surprise there. We could have told you that."

He noted, among other things, that she has an "inflexible mind", has difficulty dealing with transitions and things being different from the way she thinks they should be, and that she has a "low frustration tolerance" and tends to respond outwardly rather than inwardly when frustrated. She's definitely a worrier and tends to get "stuck" on certain ideas or topics, as we've noticed.

He did feel that her high need for alone/quiet time and her tendency to need more breaks/space in social interactions are "a comfort choice" rather than a lack of ability. So that was good to know. She definitely has no problems with her intelligence or attention span. :)

The psychiatrist did not feel that AJ was on the Asperger's spectrum, as has been suggested to us quite a few times in the past. But he did say that she was definitely on the OCD spectrum, and would be a good candidate for medication.

However, he was supportive of our desire to try other things first and only resort to medication if it's really necessary. He recommended that we see a particular therapist who is experienced at dealing with this sort of thing to get some extra tools, and also continue doing the play therapy and increasing the structure and predictability of our environment at home.

I'm not exactly sure what "on the OCD spectrum" means. When I researched the term "OCD spectrum", I found that it encompasses a HUGE range of issues, including everything from autism to eating disorders.

I think it could mean that he didn't feel a firm diagnosis was necessary or appropriate for AJ's age and situation, but that he wanted to give it enough of a label to give us some direction in pursuing resources and solutions that would be the most effective for AJ's particular quirks.

I do think that most people have some level of OCD or other quirks in their personality. If we didn't have some OCD tendencies, there wouldn't be so many of us that find Monk amusing. :)

It's really not something to worry too much about unless it's significantly impacting a person's ability to function in and/or enjoy life. AJ's functionality and enjoyment of life is impacted at some times more than others, but overall it had gotten significant enough that it was appropriate to seek some information that might help us parent her better, and some help learning tools to manage it.

For AJ, we're hoping to gain some helpful tools for teaching both her and us how to help her brain get "un-stuck" when needed, and how to cope with it to minimize the extreme frustration and discouragement she often feels.

My sister Sparrow has struggled with OCD that was definitely at the point where it was having a huge negative impact on her daily life and relationships, and medication is one of the things that has been very helpful for her. So it's something we would consider in the future if necessary. But I'm not anticipating that happening any time soon, if ever, since the other things we've been trying seem to be working fairly well so far.