Tips for getting toddlers to cooperate while shopping

A mom on another forum asked for ideas of how to handle her toddler who was taking things off the shelves in the store and not wanting to put them back when asked repeatedly. I typed up a reply and then thought maybe I would post it here also, in case it could be helpful to others.

• It's very helpful if you can tell kids what you DO want them to do rather than what you don't want them to do.
  
  For putting things back on the shelf, first try not to turn it into a battle if possible. Acknowledge her interest and feelings about the object, and make an observation about its special qualities. "Oh, you like that ball? It's really neat, isn't it? So bright and playful with the yellow polka-dots on the red ball." Or, "That's a box of muffin mix. It looks yummy, doesn't it? You like the blue box?"
  
  Then in a light, cooperative tone ask her to put it back and show her where it goes. You may need to physically pick her up and show her where to put it, but it's ideal if you can have her put it down without forcefully prying it out of her hand (both to avoid the battle and also just to treat her with respect).
  
  Sometimes a brief explanation is in order: "I know you really like that toy and want to keep it, but it's not our toy. It has to stay here at the store. Can you put it back on the shelf and say bye-bye to it? Bye bye, ball." Saying goodbye to things helps a ton for my 18-month-old.
  
  If she is hesitant, try to offer choices. "Do you want to put the ball on this shelf or leave it over here?"
  
  You can offer something else for her to carry or do to distract or interest her. My toddler loves to carry my purse or wear my watch or sunglasses. Or you can ask her to help get things off the shelf that you need to buy and carry them or put them in the cart.
  
  If all else fails, you may need to physically help her put it back, but sometimes you can save the day by giving her a choice: "Can you put the muffin mix back by yourself or do you need Mommy to help you?"
  
  Even if you end up having to wrestle it away from her to put it back, use it as an opportunity to help her identify and verbalize her emotions: "You feel sad and disappointed that you couldn't keep the ball. You really liked that ball and wanted to keep it, but it has to stay here." Then redirect her to doing something else like helping push the cart or get groceries.
  
  Also, with toddlers through grade schoolers while shopping, it really helps to plan ahead and make sure you are giving them things to keep them engaged, whether that be having them help shop or bringing toys along for them. Try not to shop when they are hungry or tired if possible, and bring snacks along or buy them a snack if needed. Be sensitive to keeping shopping trips as short as possible with little ones who tire quickly and have short attention spans.
  
  If my toddler is being too difficult to contain or keep up with in the store, I wrap her on my back and carry her that way. ;) The cart can also be used as a way to contain them and let them take a break if needed. In some situations, especially if the child is overstimulated or overtired and cannot be calmed or redirected, going to the car to let them have a few minutes of quiet to rest for a few minutes or just cutting the shopping trip short and going home may be necessary.

  
  Try to avoid telling a child repeatedly to do things. Ask once, calmly; show how to do it and offer choices, wait and give her time to do it, and then help her do it if needed. If you just keep saying the same thing over and over she will learn not to listen.
  
  When you ask/tell her to do something, be prepared to follow through and physically help her do it if she needs help--not in an angry or punishing way, but just matter-of-factly helping her. She's still learning, and will need lots of help and repetition. :)

Lenny Lamb Wrap Conversion Ergonomic Carriers: Infant vs. Toddler Sizes

The question frequently comes up whether people should buy an infant size or a toddler size ergonomic carrier for their child. Just because your child is toddling or walking does not mean they will need a toddler-sized carrier. In general, I believe the rule of thumb is that children who are wearing at least 2T size clothing might be ready for a toddler sized carrier in most brands. Some brands of "toddler-sized" ergonomic carriers might well almost be called preschool-sized carriers--they're huge!

First, it's important to understand that for an older child, "knee to knee" is not nearly as important as it is for tiny ones. In fact, if you have a choice between a carrier that doesn't go all the way from knee to knee on your child vs. a carrier that is wider than the distance between their knees, go with the narrower one to avoid overextending the child's knees. Both the baby and toddler size Lenny Lamb carriers are tested to go up to the same weight (about 44 lbs), so there is no concern about the smaller size not being strong enough to hold a toddler that is between sizes.

I have a Lenny Lamb ergonomic carrier in baby size, and one in toddler size. These are wrap conversion full buckle ergonomic carriers, also known as WCFB carriers. Nae is a year old and has been walking for several months now, but the baby size is still the best fit for her.

The Lenny Lamb website has a nice little graphic on each ergonomic carrier page showing the design and measurements of the carriers. The dimensions given for their baby size carrier are 35 centimeters at the base of the panel, 32 centimeters at the narrowest point across the panel, and 40 centimeters as the height of the panel. The toddler size dimensions are 45 cm across at the base of the panel, 38 cm across at the narrowest point, and 48 cm panel height.The site also has a note that the sizes may vary approximately 2 centimeters up or down from that. From what I've heard, the diamond weave carriers may tend to run a bit larger than the jacquard weave carriers, possibly (some theorize) because they are a bit more stretchy and less dense fabric.

Unlike a woven wrap, you do not need to wash your Lenny Lamb ergonomic carrier before using.

Here is a comparison picture of the two sizes: Twisted Leaves Turquoise in the infant size is on top, while Paladins in toddler size is on the bottom. The waist bands are very close to the same size and the base panels are lined up here, so you can see the difference in the size of the body panels on the two carriers.

 Here is a photo with the bottom left corners lined up so you can see the difference in another way:

As you can see, the toddler size is very much bigger than the baby size. With the size of my kids, the toddler size would probably fit them to at least preschool age.