Is it bad to laugh at your kids?
A little bit pregnant discussed the issue of laughing at our kids a few days ago: "Here is why I don't call myself an attachment parent: I cannot find it in me to take Charlie completely seriously when he's screaming in rage if he also happens to be wearing a butter-yellow hoodie with ducks on it.
Oh, sure, I'll comfort him. I'll strive to figure out why he's howling. I'll do my very best to make things right in his tiny world. But does it count if I'm chuckling while I do it? . . . I insist that it's funny when someone wearing alphabet pants is so mad he spits out his binky with an audible, disdainful ptui."
The first time my then-3-year-old (A) and the 2-year-old (M) had a really big fight about trains (more about fights over trains in my post earlier today), I could not believe my ears.
I said, "You need to give three of those trains to M, please."
A said, "But Mommy, I want to play with all of them. If I give three trains to M then I will only have four. I WANT SEVEN TRAINS!" Sob, sob.
I was so flabbergasted at her mathematical prowess and struck by the contrast between her abilities and the maturity level she was exhibiting at the moment, that I had to step out of the room to laugh and tell DH the story before I finished dealing with the situation. It was just so funny/amazing that I couldn't contain myself.
And then there's M, the 2-year-old (almost 3 now). She is going through a stage where she finds it utterly offensive to be asked/told to do anything at all.
"Please go wash your hands now. Did you hear me? It's time to wash your hands."
She starts crying pitifully. "Mommy, don't tell me. You hurt my feelings!" Then she does this fake trembly-lip thing. I can't help laughing at her.
We try to be careful not to minimize or discredit our kids' feelings or real pain. But sometimes I think it's healthy to chuckle at the absurdity of the situation--even if we have to step out of the room to do it. In certain situations it may even be healthy for them to see us doing it.
Oh, sure, I'll comfort him. I'll strive to figure out why he's howling. I'll do my very best to make things right in his tiny world. But does it count if I'm chuckling while I do it? . . . I insist that it's funny when someone wearing alphabet pants is so mad he spits out his binky with an audible, disdainful ptui."
The first time my then-3-year-old (A) and the 2-year-old (M) had a really big fight about trains (more about fights over trains in my post earlier today), I could not believe my ears.
I said, "You need to give three of those trains to M, please."
A said, "But Mommy, I want to play with all of them. If I give three trains to M then I will only have four. I WANT SEVEN TRAINS!" Sob, sob.
I was so flabbergasted at her mathematical prowess and struck by the contrast between her abilities and the maturity level she was exhibiting at the moment, that I had to step out of the room to laugh and tell DH the story before I finished dealing with the situation. It was just so funny/amazing that I couldn't contain myself.
And then there's M, the 2-year-old (almost 3 now). She is going through a stage where she finds it utterly offensive to be asked/told to do anything at all.
"Please go wash your hands now. Did you hear me? It's time to wash your hands."
She starts crying pitifully. "Mommy, don't tell me. You hurt my feelings!" Then she does this fake trembly-lip thing. I can't help laughing at her.
We try to be careful not to minimize or discredit our kids' feelings or real pain. But sometimes I think it's healthy to chuckle at the absurdity of the situation--even if we have to step out of the room to do it. In certain situations it may even be healthy for them to see us doing it.
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Posted by purple_kangaroo at 6:04 PM[Permanent link]
3 Comments:
This is a comment that is for all your posts from yesterday.
Your kids sound like they caught the cranky bug just like Muffin Man and, it seems, every other blogger's kid.
What was up with yesterday? Was it something in the air?
I love that your daughter reads about plumbing. I love that your daughters seem to be able to share you, even if they have trouble sharing their toys.
I love that children can have a screaming hissy fit for a half-hour and then be sweet as sunshine.
Hope today is a better day.
Periodic laughter at my kids' behavior is quite restorative -- like you, I try not dismiss their emotional response to a situation, but privately my husband and I can often find a lot to laugh at.
Thanks for your comments, ladies.
Liz, I never thought about it, but it really is neat that my girls are able to share me well most of the time. They're not quite 16 months apart, so it's pretty normal to them I guess. We do try to spend time with each of them individually as well.
Thanks for pointing that out! I've been thinking about it all day.
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