Tired
I'd forgotten what the last part of pregnancy feels like. In the past week or two I've been remembering. Suddenly I'm constantly out of breath, hot, awkward, clumsy and just plain tired.
Yes, I'm whining. About something millions of women go through all the time. Yes, it's really no big deal. I know that. I just feel like whining. It's my blog, so I can whine if I want to.
In general, life is great. I'm enjoying my husband, kids, and most other things. I am really enjoying being a stay-at-home mom right now, and the stages my kids are at are just amazing. Basically, everything is wonderful. I'm just tired, uncomfortable and hormonal.
Mainly I'm just tired. Halfway through the day (okay, about an hour into the day) I'm ready for a nap, but my kids have recently grown out of needing naps most of the time. So we compromise with quiet time. The kids are supposed to stay in their rooms until the time is up. It's supposed to give us all a break. But lately every ten minutes they're up using the bathroom and/or running in to ask me if it's time to get up yet.
I know I should establish some kind of routine (including an amount of time they have to stay in their rooms and some sort of response if they don't) and stick to it. But that would require some thought and energy to put into practice. :) [Any brilliant ideas are welcome, though I don't promise I'll actually follow through on them.]
It's funny how priorities change. One day all sorts of huge philosophical issues seem important and I'm craving mental challenge. The next day the most important thing in life is surviving until nap time and the only thing I'm craving is a chance to put my feet up (and chocolate, of course, but that goes without saying).
One day my goal for the day is to do extensive research and write a brilliant (or at least lengthy) commentary on something or other, complete a graphic design project, and/or organize a room in my house. All, of course, while providing imaginative and enriching activities for the children. The next day the only attainable (?) goal seems to be to make sure the kids and I get somewhere in the range of three meals (maybe two and a half will do for today?) and maybe, if we're lucky, that the dishes get done. Oh yes, and that everyone lives through the day--preferably with no major bodily injuries. That would be good.
DH commented this morning that there's not really room for him in the bed any more. I think I only (ha!) have 5 or 6 pillows (in contrast to his one), but they do kind of get spread out. Between the pillows, the tossing and turning, and the 2-year-old that sometimes ends up in the bed also (last night she had a nightmare about a bear), he's right.
In fact, in the middle of the night I'm sure of it. There's not room for him in the bed.
I'm sort of dozing, but awake enough to be aware of the hours ticking by and how uncomfortable I am. I know I'm not sleeping well and am not happy about it. Somehow in the hazy awareness of my mind, the nearest person becomes responsible. So I grumble at DH in my half-conscious mind. He's there, so it must somehow be his fault.
In my awake and sane mind I know he has little or nothing to do with my inability to sleep. My rapidly ballooning body and the baby doing karate at 2 a.m. are much more responsible than anything else for my discomfort and wakefulness. (Of course, it doesn't help that the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome stuff tends to kick in when I don't get enough rest and then the whole thing snowballs. I'm trying not to even contemplate (or remember?) what it's going to be like in a few more weeks when there's a crying baby wanting to nurse 24/7 and I really won't get any sleep.)
But there's DH, and somehow my half-awake state of consciousness wants to--I don't know--if not exactly blame him, maybe make him as miserable as I am.
Last night my thinking looked something like this: I'm hot and thirsty. Can't get comfortable. I want to roll over onto my right side, but then I'd hear DH's snoring louder and then I really wouldn't be able to sleep. He's snoring. Not very loudly since he got this new appliance, but still snoring. He's taking up space in the bed. He's tossing and turning, and how dare he put his arm across my pillow where my head is supposed to be sleeping?! Sleeping, ha. Sleep would be nice. I really, really want to sleep. I can't believe I've been lying here for 4 hours and I'm still not really sleeping. Maybe if he weren't in the bed, I'd be asleep right now.
Suddenly his presence in the bed is the most annoying thing in the world. But I know he has just as much right to be there as I do. Except that he's snoring! So I nudge him to roll over. Sometimes that makes the snoring at least pause. He doesn't budge. I nudge him harder. Nothing. Next thing I know, I'm pushing on him with all my strength, and I'm no longer sure whether I'm trying to get him to roll over or push him clear out of the bed. He's not sure when he wakes up, either.
In fact, he was aware enough of the grumpiness emanating from my side of the bed during the night that he commented this morning that maybe he should get "extra pay" as husband/father for a "hazardous work environment."
On the other hand, I missed him terribly all day today. He had a conference at work and wasn't home for dinner. After wanting him gone all night, I wanted nothing more than to have him near me all day. I kept telephoning him about little things, just to hear his wonderful voice.
I love his voice, his presence, pretty much everything about him. I love to be with him, interacting with him or just being near him. I've had an incredible swelling of love and appreciation for him lately--until the next hormone surge or whatever it is hits and I can't stand him for the moment.
My kids are the most wonderful, brilliant, adorable creatures in the universe most of the time--except when they're being kids and what was cute a minute ago (for instance, running around giggling and screaming) is suddenly intolerable.
Someone please tell me this is at least somewhat normal and that it will pass--at least in a year or so when the baby gets weaned?
Yes, I'm whining. About something millions of women go through all the time. Yes, it's really no big deal. I know that. I just feel like whining. It's my blog, so I can whine if I want to.
In general, life is great. I'm enjoying my husband, kids, and most other things. I am really enjoying being a stay-at-home mom right now, and the stages my kids are at are just amazing. Basically, everything is wonderful. I'm just tired, uncomfortable and hormonal.
Mainly I'm just tired. Halfway through the day (okay, about an hour into the day) I'm ready for a nap, but my kids have recently grown out of needing naps most of the time. So we compromise with quiet time. The kids are supposed to stay in their rooms until the time is up. It's supposed to give us all a break. But lately every ten minutes they're up using the bathroom and/or running in to ask me if it's time to get up yet.
I know I should establish some kind of routine (including an amount of time they have to stay in their rooms and some sort of response if they don't) and stick to it. But that would require some thought and energy to put into practice. :) [Any brilliant ideas are welcome, though I don't promise I'll actually follow through on them.]
It's funny how priorities change. One day all sorts of huge philosophical issues seem important and I'm craving mental challenge. The next day the most important thing in life is surviving until nap time and the only thing I'm craving is a chance to put my feet up (and chocolate, of course, but that goes without saying).
One day my goal for the day is to do extensive research and write a brilliant (or at least lengthy) commentary on something or other, complete a graphic design project, and/or organize a room in my house. All, of course, while providing imaginative and enriching activities for the children. The next day the only attainable (?) goal seems to be to make sure the kids and I get somewhere in the range of three meals (maybe two and a half will do for today?) and maybe, if we're lucky, that the dishes get done. Oh yes, and that everyone lives through the day--preferably with no major bodily injuries. That would be good.
DH commented this morning that there's not really room for him in the bed any more. I think I only (ha!) have 5 or 6 pillows (in contrast to his one), but they do kind of get spread out. Between the pillows, the tossing and turning, and the 2-year-old that sometimes ends up in the bed also (last night she had a nightmare about a bear), he's right.
In fact, in the middle of the night I'm sure of it. There's not room for him in the bed.
I'm sort of dozing, but awake enough to be aware of the hours ticking by and how uncomfortable I am. I know I'm not sleeping well and am not happy about it. Somehow in the hazy awareness of my mind, the nearest person becomes responsible. So I grumble at DH in my half-conscious mind. He's there, so it must somehow be his fault.
In my awake and sane mind I know he has little or nothing to do with my inability to sleep. My rapidly ballooning body and the baby doing karate at 2 a.m. are much more responsible than anything else for my discomfort and wakefulness. (Of course, it doesn't help that the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome stuff tends to kick in when I don't get enough rest and then the whole thing snowballs. I'm trying not to even contemplate (or remember?) what it's going to be like in a few more weeks when there's a crying baby wanting to nurse 24/7 and I really won't get any sleep.)
But there's DH, and somehow my half-awake state of consciousness wants to--I don't know--if not exactly blame him, maybe make him as miserable as I am.
Last night my thinking looked something like this: I'm hot and thirsty. Can't get comfortable. I want to roll over onto my right side, but then I'd hear DH's snoring louder and then I really wouldn't be able to sleep. He's snoring. Not very loudly since he got this new appliance, but still snoring. He's taking up space in the bed. He's tossing and turning, and how dare he put his arm across my pillow where my head is supposed to be sleeping?! Sleeping, ha. Sleep would be nice. I really, really want to sleep. I can't believe I've been lying here for 4 hours and I'm still not really sleeping. Maybe if he weren't in the bed, I'd be asleep right now.
Suddenly his presence in the bed is the most annoying thing in the world. But I know he has just as much right to be there as I do. Except that he's snoring! So I nudge him to roll over. Sometimes that makes the snoring at least pause. He doesn't budge. I nudge him harder. Nothing. Next thing I know, I'm pushing on him with all my strength, and I'm no longer sure whether I'm trying to get him to roll over or push him clear out of the bed. He's not sure when he wakes up, either.
In fact, he was aware enough of the grumpiness emanating from my side of the bed during the night that he commented this morning that maybe he should get "extra pay" as husband/father for a "hazardous work environment."
On the other hand, I missed him terribly all day today. He had a conference at work and wasn't home for dinner. After wanting him gone all night, I wanted nothing more than to have him near me all day. I kept telephoning him about little things, just to hear his wonderful voice.
I love his voice, his presence, pretty much everything about him. I love to be with him, interacting with him or just being near him. I've had an incredible swelling of love and appreciation for him lately--until the next hormone surge or whatever it is hits and I can't stand him for the moment.
My kids are the most wonderful, brilliant, adorable creatures in the universe most of the time--except when they're being kids and what was cute a minute ago (for instance, running around giggling and screaming) is suddenly intolerable.
Someone please tell me this is at least somewhat normal and that it will pass--at least in a year or so when the baby gets weaned?
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Posted by purple_kangaroo at 9:34 PM[Permanent link]
8 Comments:
I slept in the guest room the last 2 months of pregnancy, more room to spread out and my computer was in there for when I couldn't sleep. And my excellent collection of short story books (no commitment, for our guests reading pleasure.)
Quiet time. Buy 1 or 2 inexpensive kitchen timers. Set them for the required time and place them outside the girls' room(s). 10 minute penalty if they mess with them in any way.
My son is very obedient to the timer, it's an impartial judge.
I slept out on the couch during the last trimester. I was able to get comfortable with just one pillow there, and I wasn't bugging Nathan anymore with my thrashing around, so it was a win-win.
I appreciate your honesty, and yes, you sound like a normal pregnant lady to me! That doesn't excuse being rude to your spouse. But yes, self control in emotions/communication is much more challenging during hormone swings.
I like the timer idea. I think I'll try that. And, I slept in the guest room last night and slept much better (I think DH did too).
I did want to clarify I don't actually wake DH up and make him miserable. What I really do is stare balefully at his sound-asleep back in the dark and then flop over and try to go back to sleep.
I did nudge him a little hard that one night to get him to roll over when he was snoring, though.
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Thanks, Tamar . . . I think sometimes whining can be good when it really involves laughing at yourself, KWIM?
Benoit, thanks for stopping by! Welcome.
Hi Angela,
Timers are a great tool. Our neighbor has 5 kids and 4 of them have timers (the youngest is not yet one). The younger kids really like them - they kind of resemble a pager - and feel really grown up using them. They know they have to go home when their timer goes off. My neighbor also has an alarm clock in the family room set to go off 15 min. before bed/nap time.
About your whining.....it's good to vent! Reading your story brings back SO many memories. I remember DH snoring while I was in labor and that REALLY upset me. Contractions were 2 min. long right on top of eachother. And he was sleeping!
If it makes you feel more justified, DH is partially at fault. You didn't exactly bring this on all by yourself. :) But just remind yourself what a beautiful gift God is blessing you with and He has honored YOU to help bring her into this world.
Hi, Becky! Welcome to my blog.
Your post made me chuckle because DH fell asleep during my labor with A too and although some part of me knew he needed the rest (it was a very long labor) another part of me felt like "how can he sleep at a time like this??!!"
I'm so glad we get a baby out of all this process of pregnancy, labor and delivery. It makes it all worth it.
I have been using a timer for quiet time the last few days, and it is working a lot better.
Hazardous work environment- HAAAA!
Thank you for sharing this post with me! Perhaps I should send it to my husband now, so he knows what he is in for. The grumpiness is really bad! Geez!
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