Eleventy-One Things #35

Eleventy-One Things About Me, #35: I like to make people laugh.

I have a rather unusual sense of humor, and I enjoy using it. The eBay clothing and accessories board (CAboard) has a BAC (bizarre auction challenge) contest on the first of each month. The point is to auction off a bizarre or unusual item, or market a not-so-unusual item in a unique, bizarre or especially funny way. All auctions start on the 1st of the month with a starting bid of 99 cents. The item that sells for the highest price wins the contest that month. People tend to bid highest on the most entertaining auction.

This was my first (and favorite) entry, and it did win the contest that month. I don't know what possessed someone to pay something like $60 (auction price plus shipping) for this, but the winning bidder was thrilled and so was I.

I don't have the original text saved any more (WHY didn't I save it??? Argh.), so this is a bit off-the-cuff and probably not as funny as the original.

(BTW, in case you were wondering: yes, that is me in the photos. I arranged and took them all myself. Good thing my camera has a time-delay feature.)

Welcome to Purple_Kangaroo Auctions!

This no-reserve auction is for a genuine AMF "Happy Birthday" bowling pin.

This is a real bowling pin made of wood, and it weighs over 3 lbs. It is in excellent condition with only minor wear. However, this isn't just your ordinary bowling pin.

It's actually a HAPPY BIRTHDAY bowling pin! Yes, a bowling pin disguised as a birthday card. What a perfect birthday gift for the bowler in your life!

This bowling pin has the official AMF logo on it. AMF actually stands for American Machine and Foundry (the obvious name for a company that makes bowling pins). But the family thought it would be perfect for my brother-in-law who works for American Missionary Fellowship. Unfortunately, he doesn't bowl, so the pin ended up at our family's White Elephant Gift Party.

I'm sure you can think of lots of great things the initials could stand for . . . Anti-Mouse Federation, Ambivalent Moon Flyer, Altruistic Monster Friend, A Mean (or Magnificent) Father, Apologizing for Mistakes Fund, Apoplectic Minions of Fear--the possibilities are endless.

The bowling pin would make a great gag gift, and was very popular at our White Elephant party.

But, wait, that's just the first of many things you could do with it. There are lots of great uses for this bowling pin. It would make a lovely paperweight, an elegant conversation piece for your living room, or a magnificant centerpiece for a finely-appointed table.

This amazing bowling pin has a handy-dandy storage compartment built into the bottom. Perfect for one of those little music chips they sell to put inside toilet paper rolls, that plays "Happy Birthday" when tipped. Or it could be the ideal hiding place for your family jewels.

Like most bowling pins, this one is quite heavy and makes an intimidating weapon. You can carry it with you out into the suburbs to defend yourself from vicious wild animals.

Or you can use it to clobber that ruffian in the parking lot who tries to steal your Pr@da bag as you're leaving the mall after dark. (Never mind that it's fake, you paid $350 for it and it makes a statement that says a lot about you!)

You can balance it on your nose to impress your friends.

But that might make your nose hurt.

So perhaps you'd better try it this way:

Turned upside-down, this bowling pin makes a great hat stand.

If you are an eBay clothing and accessories seller but don't have a mannequin yet, you can use this lovely and svelte bowling pin to model your clothing auctions for eBay--it's sure to increase sales (or at least chuckles, which is just as good).

It's very unisex, so you can photograph boys' or girls' clothing on it. As you may know, clothing auctions tend to get much higher prices with a mannequin because the clothes just look so much better on it.

Or, of course, you could just bowl with it.

But what fun would that be?


Measurements: This bowling pin is approximately 15 inches tall and has a circumference of 15.25" around at the widest point.

Don't miss my other listings for more great items!

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