Don't Touch Me

Last week was fun, but way too busy with kids' parties, guests and other activities. We had basically 3 parties and another gathering over 2 days, with several other things going on that week too. It was fun, but it was too much. All three kids are having a rough time now (especially AJ, who doesn't do well with changes in routine) because of getting over-socialized, over-stimulated and over-tired last week. Hopefully we'll get everyone back into routines and feeling more emotionally stable soon.

I have a lot of generalized pain right now. I haven't hurt this much since I was in a car accident last year . . . this FM/CFS flare-up is fluctuating from day to day, but overall it seems to be getting worse instead of better right now. I don't think I've had a flare-up this bad since college, with the possible exception of when I was in those car accidents.

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The worst is that the last few days my shoulders keep slipping out of joint so that I can't really pick up anything without severe pain, so Baby E has been following me around begging to pick me up and carry her and it just hurts too much to pick her up unless it's really urgent.

Friday I was making scrambled eggs for the kids and had to keep stopping to rest my arms--that really made me feel silly, that making scrambled eggs seemed so hard. It's not like they are hard to stir or take long to cook, you know?

I did have a friend come over on Friday and help me make 25-some-odd sandwiches for AJ's birthday party and then watch the kids for an hour while I napped. I'm so grateful; I don't know how I would have made it through the weekend without that. DH made AJ's cake, and I decorated it. She really liked it, so that was nice.

Thankfully, so far my worst days have been on weekends or days DH was able to get off work a bit early. I have been a bit better in the late mornings and early afternoons, so I've been able to manage with taking care of the kids and doing school, and even keeping up ok with household tasks for the most part (with a lot of help from DH in the evenings/weekends).

Tomorrow, though, I may end up having to call around and see if I can get someone to come and help me during the day if I'm feeling anywhere near as bad as I am right now. The kids are napping and having quiet time and I'm counting the minutes until DH gets home.

I have a chiropractor appointment set up tomorrow and left a message to make an appointment with my naturopath, so hopefully that will help. I got on the phone with the chiropracter and started crying on the phone when I was trying to explain what was going on. How embarrassing. At least she was really sweet about it.

I should probably try to find another regular MD since the last two I had both retired or moved to other practices and I don't have a primary care physician any more. But it seems pretty pointless to go see a doctor when I know they're just going to shrug and say, "Of course you're tired and in pain--you have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, what do you expect??" That's what they always do--maybe run a few tests that all come back negative, and then tell me there's nothing they can do.

Part of the problem is that I haven't been getting enough sleep. But I'm in too much pain to sleep much, and then being tired makes the pain worse, and it just starts spiraling.

Can you tell I'm feeling a bit discouraged right now?