Parenting tip of the day . . . "Stop" and "Come Here"
In thinking about PhantomScribbler's woes of trying to get L.G. to stop doing something, I remembered something we haven't done in a while and probably need to start doing again.
When I was taking care of a 2 1/2 year-old boy in addition to my 2 and 3 year old girls, we had a lot of problems with antagonizing each other, pushing, unwanted tickling, etc.--not to mention issues with listening to me when I asked them not to do something. They were three kids between the ages of 2 and 3, after all. :)
So I made up a game called "Stop!" I would have the kids do something like run in a circle, and when I called "stop" they were supposed to immediately freeze in place. Then I'd say "go" and they'd take off again.
We started off with running, jumping, crawling and all kinds of physical activities, and progressed to tickling each other, yelling, singing, and anything else I could think of.
The kids loved the game and we all laughed a lot. They liked to take turns being the one to suggest an activity and saying stop and go, too.
It really made an amazing difference. Since they were used to stopping whatever they were doing (and thinking of it as a game) immediately whenever they heard the word "stop", it really helped to get them to respect each other's "no" better and to obey me more promptly. It helped minimize the chance of creating a standoff if I said it in a somewhat playful voice and reminded them about our game.
We use games and practice drills a lot with our kids.
When they were just learning to walk, we worked with them on "come here" by practicing in non-threatening situations and sort of making a game/drill out of it. We'd just pick random times to say, "Come here, please" and then praise them profusely if they came. If they didn't come, we wouldn't ask twice, but we'd immediately go and get them by the hand and bring them to where we were standing, saying, "When Mommy/Daddy says come here, that means you need to come."
Whenever we started having problems with them not coming right away when called, one of us would take whichever child it was on an outing or just off to the side and practice the drill until they were obeying right away again. It was a little more work in the short run, but it worked very well for us.
I'd love to hear any other tips and tricks anyone would like to share.
When I was taking care of a 2 1/2 year-old boy in addition to my 2 and 3 year old girls, we had a lot of problems with antagonizing each other, pushing, unwanted tickling, etc.--not to mention issues with listening to me when I asked them not to do something. They were three kids between the ages of 2 and 3, after all. :)
So I made up a game called "Stop!" I would have the kids do something like run in a circle, and when I called "stop" they were supposed to immediately freeze in place. Then I'd say "go" and they'd take off again.
We started off with running, jumping, crawling and all kinds of physical activities, and progressed to tickling each other, yelling, singing, and anything else I could think of.
The kids loved the game and we all laughed a lot. They liked to take turns being the one to suggest an activity and saying stop and go, too.
It really made an amazing difference. Since they were used to stopping whatever they were doing (and thinking of it as a game) immediately whenever they heard the word "stop", it really helped to get them to respect each other's "no" better and to obey me more promptly. It helped minimize the chance of creating a standoff if I said it in a somewhat playful voice and reminded them about our game.
We use games and practice drills a lot with our kids.
When they were just learning to walk, we worked with them on "come here" by practicing in non-threatening situations and sort of making a game/drill out of it. We'd just pick random times to say, "Come here, please" and then praise them profusely if they came. If they didn't come, we wouldn't ask twice, but we'd immediately go and get them by the hand and bring them to where we were standing, saying, "When Mommy/Daddy says come here, that means you need to come."
Whenever we started having problems with them not coming right away when called, one of us would take whichever child it was on an outing or just off to the side and practice the drill until they were obeying right away again. It was a little more work in the short run, but it worked very well for us.
I'd love to hear any other tips and tricks anyone would like to share.
Labels: kid stuff, learning, muddling motherhood, parenting
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Posted by purple_kangaroo at 11:08 AM[Permanent link]
2 Comments:
I like it, I like it!
I'm going to try it with MM.
I'd love to hear what happens with it, Liz--whether it's a game MM and you enjoy or not, and whether the practice in play makes any difference in "real" situations for you.
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