Normalizing?

Baby E has been gradually improving in her sleep habits over the past several days. Last night she slept all night in her crib, waking only 4 times to eat. We've instituted a brief routine that we carry out every time we lay her down to sleep, and it's starting to get easier to put her to bed.

She's decided that she is definitely ready to eat significant amounts of solids, preferably 2-3 times a day.

The result of all this is that I'm starting to actually feel human again. I've had moderate amounts of energy the last few days. DH and I have been spending time together interacting and working on moving the house toward some sort of order.

We're not anywhere near where we want to be yet, but we're making progress. Just the fact that we're moving toward our goals of getting more sleep and making our home more livable and clutter-free is so encouraging.

The older kids are being fairly normal, with occasional whininess and spats, but mostly being their sweet, bright and generally well-behaved selves.

Things are starting to seem more manageable. Which means it's time to think about adding another wrench to the workings of our life, right?

Like, maybe, a new family member?

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No, not another baby.

We had some friends over after church today, and they asked us to consider taking one of their two cats. Long story, but the cat needs a new home primarily because they'll be moving and are having a hard time finding a place that will allow them to have pets, much less more than one pet.

The cat is a sweet, friendly creature who loves to cuddle and play. This is an adult indoor cat that is used to living with young children and actually likes them, and will put up with a lot without trying to scratch anyone. It prefers a scratching post to tearing up furniture and carpets, is used to having its claws clipped, and supposedly it doesn't shed much (what "not much" means is another question). It does have a litterbox issue--if the box isn't clean enough, the cat goes next to the litterbox instead of in it.

I hadn't envisioned adding another pet to the family at this point in our lives. Puff the hamster is a nice addition that doesn't require too much care and attention. She's nice to have around and not hard to care for, and the kids enjoy watching her through the glass of her cage and talking about her to their friends.

A cat, though, is a whole different level of pet. Hair everywhere, a litterbox to clean, nails to clip and a coat to groom, equipment to buy, vet bills to pay for. Since I used to be a veterinary assistant and know quite a bit about animals, I would be able to take care of many things a vet normally does, like giving most of the shots. But still, when a hamster or a fish gets sick you don't usually take it to the vet. A cat we would have to take to the vet occasionally.

As a kid, I never envisioned myself as a person who didn't have lots of animals around me. I always thought I'd have a variety of pets throughout my life. When DH and I first got married, I desperately wanted a dog.

I worked as a veterinary assistant, which I loved. Then I volunteered at the Humane Society--training the less adoptable dogs to improve behavior problems, trimming guinea pig nails, cleaning out cages and grooming rabbits. I had a rabbit (which turned out to be quite mean, unlike the rabbits I owned as a kid) and a guinea pig (which I trained and got certified to do animal assisted therapy, visiting nursing homes etc), along with occasional fish. We very nearly adopted a dog after I finally persuaded DH to agree to the idea.

But then I got pregnant and had a baby, and we moved. We found new homes for the pets and were animal-free for quite some time. We had another baby. With two young children, I had no time, energy or desire for pets.

After we moved here we once again had the freedom to keep animals, since we now owned our home. The cat I'd had before I got married, which I had given to a family member, needed a home and we agreed to take her.

At first, it seemed it was going to work well.

Serena was a very sweet cat, extremely shy but well-behaved and gentle. She had a bit of a hard time adjusting to being an indoor-only cat and spent most of the time hiding under furniture. I tried very hard to teach my 2-year-old how to be gentle with the cat and not chase her.

The cat was not at all used to being around young children and was terrified, although she preferred running away to fighting back. After several weeks the cat lost patience with AJ and started trying to scratch her. Every time AJ got near her, the cat went for my daughter's eyes.

I clipped the cat's claws regularly, trying to keep them from being so dangerous. I did my best to keep the cat and the child away from each other, even down to locking the cat in the bedroom whenever I wasn't supervising, but it was impossible to keep them apart every moment.

AJ literally had scratches across her eyelids. I had expected that the cat might scratch, but the consistency and fury with which she targeted AJ's eyes was frightening.

I had a friend in college who had a wall-eye because of a cat scratch. I knew that if the cat happened to get a claw in AJ's eye, or hit the nerve next to the eye, she could do permanent damage.

I wasn't willing to risk my daughter's eyesight. Declawing the cat wasn't an option. I knew that the procedure literally involves cutting off a cat's toes at the first joint (as if you cut off your fingers at the first knuckle below the nails). Declawing makes it so the cat can never walk normally again, and some animals experience severe pain for the rest of their lives. It can cause total personality changes, and often cats who have been declawed will take to biting when they lose the use of their claws.

So I gave the cat to my parents, who eventually had to take her to a shelter because she didn't get along with their other cats and they were unsuccessful at finding another home for her.

I thought we wouldn't have a non-caged pet again until the kids were much older (old enough to take on much of the care themselves). Having 3 children 5 and under, a house and yard, and a hamster is energy-intensive enough without adding another creature to care for.

As the next step up from the hamster, we envisioned a rabbit--probably a Holland Lop. I've known some very sweet Holland Lops and handled them in 4-H as a teen, and they were as sweet-tempered but easier to care for than the wonderful English Angora rabbits my sisters and I raised. Many people don't realize this, but a rabbit can be litterbox trained, leash trained, taught verbal commands, and can be much like a dog in the affection and interaction it gives if treated right.

The girls, though, love cats. They've been begging for a cat for at least a year now. They're not much interested in a rabbit, and they like Puff OK, but what they really want is a cat.

I like cats, but I know that any pet is going to add significant work and expense to our already busy life. Also, a lot of people are allergic to cats, and we like to have lots of people in our home. We've had people over to visit 3 times just in the last 2 days.

We have the option to take the cat temporarily, on trial. I'm just not sure if we should even do that. Part of me wants to say no, because I don't want to add more work and potential stress into this household just as things are beginning to possibly settle down. But part of me wants to say yes, too.

DH says he'll trust my judgment. He doesn't really want a cat, but is willing to give it a try.

So we said we'd consider and pray about it.