Time for the bad mommy (and wife) awards

Well, it's been an interesting 24 hours. One of those "give me an award for worst mommy" times.

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• This morning I commented to DH that it's no wonder AJ and M&M have been grumpy and whiny this week. This cold (which they had before I did) is absolutely miserable. Ugh. Now I feel bad that I didn't try harder to ease their discomfort, even though they seemed fine most of the time. I really hope Baby E doesn't get this.



• Baby E was feeling better last night, so I put her down and made sure the gate was up at the foot of the stairs so I could quickly do a load of dishes and cook dinner.
  
  Halfway through loading the dishwasher, I suddenly realized it had gotten far too quiet. Then I heard a spluttering noise. Baby E was up to her elbows in the toilet, splashing. Then she had apparently decided she was thirsty.



• I knew it was AJ and not M&M who had left the bathroom door open, because the toilet had been flushed.



• After I got her bathed and cleaned up, I went out to the garage to get some meat from the freezer. I heard her crying at the door to follow me, but I was only going to be a minute and I knew she couldn't open the door, so I continued digging in the freezer.
  
  Then I heard the door open and a little voice cooing. I looked across the garage just in time to see Baby E in what seemed like slow motion, tumbling head-first down the concrete step. She bounced face-first off the step and landed on a cardboard box on the floor below.
  
  She barely cried at all. I cried for her.



• She now has a nice mark on her left temple to complement the mark on her right temple that she got the night before. She tripped and fell headfirst into the metal leg of the bench in the entry. The little livewire wants to try to run around, climb things, skip and dance, but she's not really that steady on her feet yet.



• Baby E has figured out how to open the display case and remove my collectible dolls. Her favorite is the silicone Preemie by Pat Moulton. It's not breakable, but still something of value to be handled with great care.
  
  A friend gave that doll to me right after nephew William died, when the midwife had told me I was miscarrying Baby E. She thought it would be nice for me to have something that felt a lot like a real baby to hold in that difficult time. So I guess it's kind of fitting that it's Baby E's favorite.



• Still, by the time she had opened the case and pulled out the doll three times in a space of 5 or 10 minutes, despite being told "no, that's not for you" and having it taken away, I'd reached the end of my patience.
  
  I yelled "NO! That is NOT for YOU!" and slapped her little hand.
  
  Then I wished I'd figured out a different way to handle it. I don't think spanking or corporal discipline is generally necessary (and I don't think that particular type of discipline is biblically or morally required, for reasons I may go into later). I definitely try not to yell at my kids. Almost always there are other (better) ways to handle the situations my kids and I get into. I didn't feel good about the way I'd handled that.



• We've only recently given Baby E the run of the downstairs instead of confining her to the family room most of the time. We're still trying to figure out how to best babyproof the new areas and how best to define and teach limits for her with her new freedom. I'm thinking some kind of latch on the doll case would probably be a good idea, if I can figure out how to install one.



• After that, I snapped and snarled at DH (who was sweetly getting dinner for the kids) for moving the bucket of dirty dishrags back down onto the floor from the high stool where I had put them. Baby E likes to take them out of the bucket and "wash" her face with them.



• When I locked the screaming Baby E into the family room (she hates that baby gate!) and started to wipe off her high chair tray for dinner, DH begged me to sit down and relax while he took care of things. I sat down to cuddle Baby E and cried a little more.



• I skipped eating dinner with the family in order to clean the much-besplattered bathroom (Baby E was really splashing in that toilet!) while the kids were confined out of the way at the table.



• It had been far too long (weeks? months?) since the bathroom had been cleaned more than a cursory wipe of the sink and the toilet seat. I'm so far behind on all my housework. I just hope nobody who will be horrified by the mess will drop in to visit.



• Yes, my house is officially in C.H.A.O.S.



• Unfortunately I completely ran out of energy before I finished the bathroom. The sink, mirror, doorknobs, light switches, stool, outside of the toilet and part of the floor got clean, anyway. It's amazing how sticky things like doorknobs and light switches get with preschoolers and toddlers in the house.



• Baby E is having trouble nursing. She'll start to take a drink, then gag and pull away. My guess would be that she's coming down with the cold and the mucus in her throat is interfering with sucking and swallowing.



• It doesn't seem to bother her too much, though. She was beside herself with excitement at the prospect of going to the "iyayaa!" today. She seems to be feeling much better.



• I'm praying that if E does get sick it will be very mild and will be completely gone by Friday. I checked with the children's hospital and a cold shouldn't interfere with the procedures she has on Monday.



• I slept away half the day today, and now DH is off with all three girls to the library. Whatever shall I do with myself? I'm feeling a bit better and no longer coughing now that I've been upright for a while.
  
  I could go back to bed, run some necessary errands, go shopping for some clothes that actually fit, do some much-needed housework, or just relax at home. I never really know what to do with myself when I get some free time. Right now bed is sounding pretty appealing, but I hate to waste my "day off" sleeping.