Enjoying My Kids

Wow . . . toward the end of the year I was feeling like parenting was just really difficult. It seemed like all of the kids were going through difficult stages at once, and our routine was really disrupted, and I could see so many ways I was failing as a parent and in everything else, it seemed.

But the last few weeks I find myself amazed over and over again at how much more fun and how much easier parenting has suddenly become again. I think it helps a lot for all of us to have a bit more predictable life, fewer activities going on, and more sleep happening. :)

We've dealt with one illness after another the last few weeks, it seems . . . right now we're passing around another winter respiratory illness thingy--more severe than most colds, but more mild than the flu, I guess. I'm still not feeling well anyway, but am getting through each week one day at a time, and trying to nap with the girls when I can. God gives strength for each day as it's needed, I find.

DH had a toenail removed recently that ended up more complicated than the doctor expected. It took longer than normal to heal, but it seems to be healing nicely now.

Yesterday was a great milestone at our house . . . Baby E didn't take a nap, but she stayed in her bed for her entire "quiet time" without getting up once!

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I had not too long before started playing a CD for her so that she would know that when the music stopped, she could get up. She would get up and I would gently tell her that it wasn't time to get up until the music was all done, and help her get back into bed . . . over, and over, and over the first few days. But the method worked! Within just a few days she was getting up only once or twice, or just yelling to me from her room, "Is it time to det up yet, Mommy?"

Yesterday she just sat quietly in bed reading books and playing with her toys until the music stopped, and I didn't hear a peep out of her the whole time! I peeked in on her a few times and she was so absorbed in her books that she didn't even notice me. (I say she was "reading", but she isn't actually READING yet. She is learning more of her letters and numbers and remembers quite a bit of what she hears, though, so she'll go through picture books counting things and telling herself or her dolls what she remembers of the story.)

When the music stopped, she happily came out of her room to tell me that it was time to get up. Of course I gave her a big hug and thanked her for staying in her room until the music was all done. She was proud of herself, too!

She is still nursing, but we're gradually tapering that off and she seems to be ok with that. Potty training is coming along . . . I think she's getting pretty close to losing the diapers completely, at least during the day.

M&M is her sweet energetic, cheerful self. We've started having weekly family meetings, and one of the things we discuss is what chores each family member will be responsible for that week. Enthusiastic little M&M always seems to want to take on every chore mentioned, and we keep having to tell her that she needs to leave some jobs for someone else to do. She really loves to help and loves to be busy--especially since we decided that she was old enough to use the spray bottle herself (for one or two selected gentle cleaning solutions, with supervision).

AJ is still really enjoying her "special play time with Mommy" (a.k.a. play therapy) at home. She doesn't seem to miss the therapist too much. Between that and the other changes we've made, she seems to be doing really well. We've seen so much improvement in her mood and general demeanor, and most of the behaviors we had been concerned about are virtually gone. She seems generally much happier and more even-keel.

I had special play time with AJ yesterday, and DH took the other two girls out for an outing while AJ and I had lactose-free pizza and chatted, then did play therapy.

We had an interesting conversation over dinner. I asked AJ what was the most important thing in the world to her. I was thinking she would probably mention a toy or a friend, or maybe an activity. But she smiled and said, "God."

We talked about that for quite a while. I was really interested to hear her thoughts. Among other things I found that she thinks "God might look like light" when He's not taking on human form. I thought that was very insightful of her.

She also said, "You know, I've discovered lately that I really quite enjoy reading the Bible. It's very interesting. Not all of it, though. I mostly like reading the stories in it." [Yes, she talks like a book. Not a book for 6-year-olds, either.]

Tonight DH is taking Baby E out for a "date" with Daddy, and sometime in the next few days one of us will have some special one-on-one time with M&M. The kids really seem to be thriving with our trying to make sure to have more individual time with each of them, and more "family fun times" with all of us playing games or doing fun things together, too.

School is going well. Even when we weren't technically "doing school", the girls were doing so much reading and learning that I don't think we fell behind at all, really. The days we don't do a lesson in their math books we almost always play some kind of math game, tell math stories, or talk about and practice utilizing math in our daily lives.

It's the same with other subjects--just providing good books, sparking topics of conversation, and being willing to help them find out more on the subjects that interest them really keeps their minds quite busy. We have a big map of the world spread on the wall, and the kids sometimes just like to pick a country to talk about and ask a few questions about. They read ravenously, and are constantly telling us things they've learned from their books.

This week we've been studying India. I think M&M has especially enjoyed learning about the various animals that live there, but AJ is enthralled with the character of Gandhi.

DH had picked up the library books for this unit this weekend. Monday morning I came downstairs to find that AJ had picked up Gandhi: The Father of Modern India (Oxford Press) and read it before breakfast. It's geared toward "upper primary" age group, but she loved it. She told me and DH all about Gandhi's life, and his philosophy of using peaceful resistance to bring about change. Today she was reading the book again. I'm going to try to get her on video telling about it.

A typical school day lately looks like this: The girls read books on the topic we're studying on their own. Basically DH and I just put the books into the library bin or leave them lying around, and the kids pick them up and read them on their own. We ask them about what they're reading and sometimes have them do various activities that fit with whatever we're studying, but mostly they're independent with this. We do have them either write a sentence or two or dictate a paragraph to us about some of the books after they've read them.

I've been having them do various worksheets that fit with the topic we're studying . . . map activities, reading about and coloring pictures of various people and animals, learning about the colors and symbols on each country's flag and coloring a picture of it, finding and writing answers to a set of questions, etc.

Several times this week I came upstairs to find and print off worksheets from Enchanted Learning. I told the computer to print to the printer downstairs, and by the time I got back downstairs the kids had already noticed the printer working, collected and divided up the worksheets, read the directions, and started in on the activities. They seem to really enjoy being mostly self-directed.

Then at some point during the day I usually read at least one Bible story to them. We read from other books off and on, during the day and/or at bedtime. Right now at bedtime we're reading The All-Of-A-Kind Family and a book of animal Bible stories. On their own, the kids are reading books like Five Little Peppers, the Magic Attic and Boxcar Children books, and other short novels in addition to the books on whatever topic we're studying for school.

Most days AJ and M&M also do a lesson in their math books. They usually need quite a bit of help with that, so it's more teacher-intensive. Both girls are getting ready to start the second of their two math volumes for the year, so we seem to be pretty much on track.

I kept feeling guilty that we weren't being more structured and intensive, but the girls seem to be thriving and learning a ton, so I think this is working fine for the time being.

At the moment, I've decided that for a kindergartner and first-grader, we just don't really need tons of structure. They're enjoying the way we're doing it, so am I, and they're learning a lot and coming along well in the skills that are important for them to learn. Most of all, they're cultivating a love of learning. That's what's most important at this age, I think.