Every day the last
I found myself thinking a lot today of a short story I read in college. I think it was called "The Last Day."
It was about a scientist who accidentally injected himself with the wrong experimental serum--a serum which had caused death in 24 hours in all the lab mice. There was no antidote, and he knew he had one day left to live. So he took the day off work and took his wife and daughter on a long-promised picnic. The story captures so well the keen enjoyment he felt in every little thing and how he was suddenly aware how precious his loved ones and his life were to him. I wish I could remember the name of the author.
I'm becoming increasingly aware each day that it could be my last day before the baby arrives. The closer it gets, the more I am realizing how many things will never be quite the same again, and how many things will be different or more difficult for a while at least.
We'll never again be a family of four. I'll never be able to take a walk and have my two girls walking on either side, each with a hand in mine, and have it feel complete. I'll be able to carry the baby in a carrier for a little while, but after that I won't be able to hold all my children's hands at the same time--at least not without serious awkwardness. :) DH and I won't be able to each take a child for the evening and pour all our focus and energy into that one child for a "date" with them--at least one of us will need to be dividing our attention between more than one child. We'll never again be Mommy, Daddy, and two little girls. Dividing food, toys and attention will be a bit more complicated.
I'm so excited to meet our newest family member and will enjoy the way the family dynamics change. I can't wait to see how the girls react to their new sister and how they all relate as they grow older. But for now, I'm savoring the things that will change in a special way. Life will be different after the baby comes. I'm finding a keen enjoyment right now in life as it is at this moment.
Today the girls helped me sort and put away laundry. They had a lot of fun running back and forth to their room to put away their clothes. It's so cute to have them at an age where they actually think chores are exciting.
They were so very sweet, cooperative and obedient today, and they got along so well. After a week or two of grouchiness, defiance, and testing every limit, it seems this week we've finally gotten through that stage--at least this time around. :)
This afternoon I braided their hair and painted their fingernails, and then we went for a long walk around the neighborhood. A rode her tricycle and M brought along a pull-toy. On the way home they both rode the tricycle while I carried M's toy. We had a marvelous time.
As the contractions get gradually more intense and frequent over the days and weeks, they remind me to enjoy these moments before things change. The hour or so of contractions every 7 minutes apart this morning and the fairly frequent squeezings of my abdomen throughout the day don't let me take anything for granted right now.
We'll be thrilled to meet Baby E whenever she makes her appearance, but at the moment I feel I'd be equally happy if it happened tonight or sometime next week. I'm just soaking in each moment today.
It was about a scientist who accidentally injected himself with the wrong experimental serum--a serum which had caused death in 24 hours in all the lab mice. There was no antidote, and he knew he had one day left to live. So he took the day off work and took his wife and daughter on a long-promised picnic. The story captures so well the keen enjoyment he felt in every little thing and how he was suddenly aware how precious his loved ones and his life were to him. I wish I could remember the name of the author.
I'm becoming increasingly aware each day that it could be my last day before the baby arrives. The closer it gets, the more I am realizing how many things will never be quite the same again, and how many things will be different or more difficult for a while at least.
We'll never again be a family of four. I'll never be able to take a walk and have my two girls walking on either side, each with a hand in mine, and have it feel complete. I'll be able to carry the baby in a carrier for a little while, but after that I won't be able to hold all my children's hands at the same time--at least not without serious awkwardness. :) DH and I won't be able to each take a child for the evening and pour all our focus and energy into that one child for a "date" with them--at least one of us will need to be dividing our attention between more than one child. We'll never again be Mommy, Daddy, and two little girls. Dividing food, toys and attention will be a bit more complicated.
I'm so excited to meet our newest family member and will enjoy the way the family dynamics change. I can't wait to see how the girls react to their new sister and how they all relate as they grow older. But for now, I'm savoring the things that will change in a special way. Life will be different after the baby comes. I'm finding a keen enjoyment right now in life as it is at this moment.
Today the girls helped me sort and put away laundry. They had a lot of fun running back and forth to their room to put away their clothes. It's so cute to have them at an age where they actually think chores are exciting.
They were so very sweet, cooperative and obedient today, and they got along so well. After a week or two of grouchiness, defiance, and testing every limit, it seems this week we've finally gotten through that stage--at least this time around. :)
This afternoon I braided their hair and painted their fingernails, and then we went for a long walk around the neighborhood. A rode her tricycle and M brought along a pull-toy. On the way home they both rode the tricycle while I carried M's toy. We had a marvelous time.
As the contractions get gradually more intense and frequent over the days and weeks, they remind me to enjoy these moments before things change. The hour or so of contractions every 7 minutes apart this morning and the fairly frequent squeezings of my abdomen throughout the day don't let me take anything for granted right now.
We'll be thrilled to meet Baby E whenever she makes her appearance, but at the moment I feel I'd be equally happy if it happened tonight or sometime next week. I'm just soaking in each moment today.
Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
Posted by purple_kangaroo at 5:08 PM[Permanent link]
5 Comments:
this made me tear up. beautifully put.
I know exactly what you are talking about.
With my fourth, the contractions lasted a couple of weeks. But it was gorgeous sunny weather and I enjoyed just hanging out with family, savoring the moments until he was born.
Beautiful.
I felt the same way before my second child was born. Nothing made my eyes fill up with tears like watching my son dance around to that old Multiplication Rock standby, "Three Is a Magic Number."
I'm totally in awe of women who have contractions for weeks. 8 hours was enough for me!
Thanks, all of you.
Phantom, it's not like we exactly get to choose whether we have contractions for weeks at a time or not. *grin* I wish.
As the Irish say, "A man [woman] can get used to anything--even to being hanged. ;)
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