Thought of the Day
I've heard a lot of people say either (a) they can't understand why someone would want to get an epidural and miss the full experience of childbirth or (b) they can't understand why someone would opt to experience so much pain during childbirth by NOT getting an epidural.
I will admit that at least on some level I thought the need for an epidural was (not in all cases, but at least many) in some way a sign of weakness or fear. If you work with your body and are not afraid, you won't really need one--or so I thought. I was wrong.
Having experienced both now, I can say that a hard labor with an epidural is still much harder and more painful than an easy labor with no medication. It has less relation than I thought to how you approach the birthing experience, and everything to do with how your body and the baby work together in that particular labor and delivery. And every labor and delivery is completely different, with different variables.
It's easy to question someone else's choices when you're not walking in their shoes, but any assumptions about what it's like for them may very well be wrong. :)
I will admit that at least on some level I thought the need for an epidural was (not in all cases, but at least many) in some way a sign of weakness or fear. If you work with your body and are not afraid, you won't really need one--or so I thought. I was wrong.
Having experienced both now, I can say that a hard labor with an epidural is still much harder and more painful than an easy labor with no medication. It has less relation than I thought to how you approach the birthing experience, and everything to do with how your body and the baby work together in that particular labor and delivery. And every labor and delivery is completely different, with different variables.
It's easy to question someone else's choices when you're not walking in their shoes, but any assumptions about what it's like for them may very well be wrong. :)
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Posted by purple_kangaroo at 10:18 PM[Permanent link]
5 Comments:
Mwah!!!
And btw: you said in your multi-part whine that you don't think Baby E is very cute. I disagree. She's a very cute little dumpling.
Here here! You have a beautiful baby and a healthy birth. That is all that is important. No one knows how a baby will be positioned or how the mom's body is. Every birth, every pregnancy is different--even for the same person. I hope no one is making you feel bad about your birth experience. That would be terrible. Hugs to you!
I second what R2ks said. And yes, Baby E is beautiful.
FWIW, I love the idea of natural childbirth, but my 3 long, difficult inductions (big overdue babies, non-cooperative cervix) made me want to kiss the anesthesiologist by the time he got there. I think I might have told him I loved him, but it's all a blur.
Thanks, everyone. It's amazing how opinionated people can be about things that really are so unimportant in the long run.
Nobody is making me feel bad about my birth experience--that would involve caring enough about what an almost complete stranger thinks to have their random comments matter to me.
But I have been having to work through my own disappointment and dashed expectations, and realize that going "all-natural" with every one of my children's births is not the badge of honor it had seemed. :)
And, yes I do think Baby E is beautiful . . . just not quite "cute" in a certain way.
There is something incredibly sweet and special about laying my cheek next to hers and feeling that chubby softness.
It does something profound to me every time I put my face against hers or kiss her hair and smell her sweetness.
And, her facial expressions and alert eyes tracking everything around her are incredible.
I think she's the most amazing, wonderful, bright baby of the year. I love her deeply, and I feel amazingly connected to her already. She is wonderful.
Most newborns really aren't that "cute" in a cutesy way, IMHO . . . but they are all beautiful.
I have no problem *at all* with people who want to go for an epidural during childbirth. I'm just wussy about needles, and anytime that they tell you "Be VERY still, or you could be paralyzed from the waist down!" -- I have major issues with that.
I was induced, but I labored so little, and pushed for even less that an epidural wasn't necessary, nor would they have had time to get one going. If I had been in labor longer, I probably would have asked for one, needle-wussiness or not.
It's not admitting deafeat to say that you had an epidural, PK. You have had a VERY rough time with Baby E,. and you were so worn out by that time that it probably was the best thing for you. There's no shame in that.
And hush! Baby E is clearly a beauty, so we won't listen to you! That must be all the residual hormone in you talking! Baby E is beautiful, not only because she's *your* baby, but she's beautiful to all of us out here, too.
Kiss her from all of us, and go rest your tailbone.
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