Notes

• AJ and M&M had scrambled eggs, toast, cucumber and apple juice for lunch today. Quick, easy and not too shabby in nutritional value.
  
  Baby E and I had chicken and grape juice instead of the eggs & apple juice, and shared a fried kholrabi bulb. Kholrabi is pretty good just diced and pan-fried in a little grapeseed oil.



• I literally laughed out loud when I re-read the post I wrote yesterday and saw that I'd written that I "am certainly not limiting my food intake in any way." Well, um, yeah.
  
  I'm not dieting to try to lose weight, that's for sure.
  
  Other than the fact that I can't eat any dairy, corn, soy or other legumes, coconut, palm products, apples, bananas, mushrooms, oats, avocados, blackberry leaves, mold, eggs, seafood, most nuts, or anything bleached, refined or enriched, I'm not limiting my food intake at all. No, sirree.


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• Among other things, my midwife told me today that my body is telling me it's not ready to have another baby. It's having a hard enough time keeping up with just nursing Baby E and keeping me going with all the stress and allergy-induced dietary restrictions. She said that I need to be especially careful to avoid getting pregnant at this point for my health's sake.
  
  Not that I was planning to do anything else, but it makes me a little sad.
  
  I had thought we'd be trying for a 4th baby by this point. Baby E is slightly older now than AJ was when M&M was born. Though I wouldn't purposely have two babies less than 16 months apart again, I had thought I'd like to have another one when Baby E was about 2. Between Baby E's health issues and my own, obviously that's not going to be happening.



• The midwife also told me I needed to gain some weight. Of course I knew that. But she couldn't suggest anything new as to how I might actually go about doing that. I'm glad Baby E and I will be seeing a nutritionist soon.



• My mom is feeling a little better today. She went to the doctor yesterday and they gave her 2 units of fluids and ran more tests. Her creatinine (indication of decreased kidney function) is still going up, so she has to get it checked again tomorrow.



• When I got dressed this morning, I realized that it was a really good thing I went clothes shopping in the afternoon and evening the last few days. The clothes I had bought seemed bigger than I remembered them. Then I remembered that I always weigh a couple of pounds less in the morning than I do in the evening. Never buy clothes first thing in the morning. :)



• I'm wearing my size 6P pants today while I wash all the new stuff I bought. They're the same size in the waist as the size 1 jeans I wore to my appointment this morning, and all the size 1 and 2 pants I've been trying on the last few days. It's only the hips and legs that are significantly different.
  
  Petite Sophisticate must have carried some styles that run narrower in the waist 5 years ago. I wonder if they still do? The PS store is gone from the mall in Neighboring State that used to have one.
  
  These PS pants are certainly much smaller in the waist than any of the size 6 pants I've looked at in the last few days. It's been so long since I've bought pants that I can't remember whether I used to have trouble finding pants that were large enough in the hips and seat but were small enough in the waist. I'm thinking that must have been the case.
  
  Maybe Phantom Scribbler is right. Have sizes really changed that much, or is it just that different manufacturers and styles vary? There's not all that much standardization in sizes. I tried on a size 1 pair of jeans yesterday that was much larger in every dimension than these size 6 petite slacks are, and than any other size 1 I saw was.
  
  It can't be that new of a development if sizes have changed, though, because the clothes I bought yesterday were mostly second-hand.
  
  Actually, for the most part I tend to be rather blind to fashion and fit. I tend to be fairly unaware of size in others, too. Unless someone is extremely at one end or another of the spectrum, I don't really notice weight all that much. I'm vaguely aware of it in some part of my mind, but it's just not important to me. I notice more integral things like facial expression and the way people talk and move more than details about their size or features.
  
  I know what colors and patterns in fabric I like in clothing. Otherwise, I've been prone to mostly just wear whatever I can find inexpensively at second-hand and thrift stores. Size medium? Sure, that will fit me. Large? Well, it's short-sleeved so I think it will work. That way I can still wear it even if I gain weight.
  
  An inch of give, 8 inches of give . . . what's the difference as long as it's close to the right length, is modest enough and is not falling off me?
  
  Maybe that's why I have a closet full of clothes that I seldom wear. I have a handful of things I like that I always wear first, and then I feel "frumpy" until I get a chance to do laundry. Just because something is very cheap or free and I like the color doesn't mean it's a worthwhile addition to my wardrobe. Maybe it only cost 50 cents; it's still just clutter if I don't enjoy wearing it.
  
  I'm going through my old clothes with stricter standards now. For instance, since I have narrow shoulders in relation to torso length, pockets on a shirt never fall in the proper place for me. They just don't look right on me--never have, never will. Almost every item with breast pockets went into the "discard" bag.
  
  I filled two big garbage bags yesterday and have a lot more clothes to sort through today. A much smaller pile is going into storage. So far I have a stack of about 6 or 8 items that I'm keeping to put in my drawers. Thinning out the clothes should help with the dust mites, too.



• I did buy some clothes that were slightly big on me, just to erase any subconscious motivation I might have to try not to gain weight in order to keep wearing my snazzy new clothes that I like so much. I decided that I'm also going to keep the size 6 clothes that I like easily accessible instead of packed away. This way, I can gain weight and STILL fit into my snazzy clothes.
  
  I don't want to fall into the trap JT mentioned of thinking I look better as a size 2 than I do at a healthier size, and trying to stay this way. It would be frighteningly easy to get into that mindset.



• The GI specialist just called to make sure things are set for Baby E's procedure tomorrow. I'm nervous about that. I know it's a minor thing, but any time a baby goes under general anesthesia seems like a Big Deal to me.
  
  Baby E is napping and the older girls are playing contentedly. I'm about to call for a phone conversation with the naturopath, and then I'll call JT to work out details for tomorrow. I'm thankful that she's going to take care of the older girls. DH told me last night that he was able to get off work after all, so he's going to go to the EGD with me and Baby E. I'm so glad.