Going Up
I finally feel like I'm really on the mend today. We had a nice day of homeschooling. We're really settling into our routine, and it's getting easier each day.
Tonight I attempted to loosen more soil in the garden with the shovel. Eventually, though, I gave up.
A large section of ground was difficult because apparently it was used as a landfill at some point. About 6 inches under, it's nearly a solid layer of concrete pieces, old bricks, rotting logs, pieces of plywood, disconnected sections of pipe and wire, plastic, bits of glass and who knows what else. It's too much stuff to dig out.
I ended up taking out a few things that were buried more shallowly than the rest, and just tilling up the 6-8 inches of soil over the top of the rest. I have no idea what it will do to the garden, but I certainly can't grow anything deep like potatoes there.
The rest of the digging was difficult just because the ground is very hard, with lots of rocks and clay. I kept thinking, as I jumped and stomped on the shovel trying to get it more than 3-4 inches deep, that this would probably be a lot easier if I weighed more than 106 lbs.
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Yes, I've managed to gain another pound--woohoo. One more pound and I'll have gained 10 lbs! I still need to gain 10 or 15 lbs to reach my normal "healthy" weight, but I feel so much better being less underweight. I'm actually on the low end of the charts for a normal BMI now, and I'm not quite so pale and gaunt-looking.
Ironically, someone at church last Sunday said to me, "You look great--have you lost weight?" I chuckled and told her that, no, actually I look so much better because I've gained weight.
Of course, the predictable response is always "I wish I had that problem" or "I'll give you some of my extra weight."
But I really don't think, if people understood what it was like, that anyone would really choose to be 20 lbs. underweight. It's at least as unhealthy to be underweight as overweight, if not more unhealthy. Calculating over or under in equal number of pounds or BMI points, I think being underweight will debilitate or kill you faster than being overweight will.
Not that it makes sense to compare, and I completely sympathize with people who struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle, no matter which direction they lean. But the myth that being underweight is desirable drives me crazy. I wouldn't wish that kind of severe fatigue, dizzy spells, heart palpitations and general unwellness on anyone. I hope to never drop below 100 lbs again. It's miserable.
Even though my weight struggles are from a different cause, I really feel for anyone struggling with body image and eating disorders. I'm here to tell you--you will be SO much healthier and feel so much better if you pursue a realistic, healthy body rather than trying to be super-skinny.
Being too thin is not a good thing, no matter what our culture tries to tell us. It's not worth making yourself sick or killing yourself to look like a Barbie doll or like those airbrushed, photo-edited fashion models. It's just not. Healthy is so much more beautiful.
I'm just glad to be on the way up again.
Tonight I attempted to loosen more soil in the garden with the shovel. Eventually, though, I gave up.
A large section of ground was difficult because apparently it was used as a landfill at some point. About 6 inches under, it's nearly a solid layer of concrete pieces, old bricks, rotting logs, pieces of plywood, disconnected sections of pipe and wire, plastic, bits of glass and who knows what else. It's too much stuff to dig out.
I ended up taking out a few things that were buried more shallowly than the rest, and just tilling up the 6-8 inches of soil over the top of the rest. I have no idea what it will do to the garden, but I certainly can't grow anything deep like potatoes there.
The rest of the digging was difficult just because the ground is very hard, with lots of rocks and clay. I kept thinking, as I jumped and stomped on the shovel trying to get it more than 3-4 inches deep, that this would probably be a lot easier if I weighed more than 106 lbs.
############################
Yes, I've managed to gain another pound--woohoo. One more pound and I'll have gained 10 lbs! I still need to gain 10 or 15 lbs to reach my normal "healthy" weight, but I feel so much better being less underweight. I'm actually on the low end of the charts for a normal BMI now, and I'm not quite so pale and gaunt-looking.
Ironically, someone at church last Sunday said to me, "You look great--have you lost weight?" I chuckled and told her that, no, actually I look so much better because I've gained weight.
Of course, the predictable response is always "I wish I had that problem" or "I'll give you some of my extra weight."
But I really don't think, if people understood what it was like, that anyone would really choose to be 20 lbs. underweight. It's at least as unhealthy to be underweight as overweight, if not more unhealthy. Calculating over or under in equal number of pounds or BMI points, I think being underweight will debilitate or kill you faster than being overweight will.
Not that it makes sense to compare, and I completely sympathize with people who struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle, no matter which direction they lean. But the myth that being underweight is desirable drives me crazy. I wouldn't wish that kind of severe fatigue, dizzy spells, heart palpitations and general unwellness on anyone. I hope to never drop below 100 lbs again. It's miserable.
Even though my weight struggles are from a different cause, I really feel for anyone struggling with body image and eating disorders. I'm here to tell you--you will be SO much healthier and feel so much better if you pursue a realistic, healthy body rather than trying to be super-skinny.
Being too thin is not a good thing, no matter what our culture tries to tell us. It's not worth making yourself sick or killing yourself to look like a Barbie doll or like those airbrushed, photo-edited fashion models. It's just not. Healthy is so much more beautiful.
I'm just glad to be on the way up again.
Labels: gardening, health issues, just life
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Posted by purple_kangaroo at 10:07 PM[Permanent link]
3 Comments:
About your garden, get or borrow _Lasagna Gardening_ by Pat Lanza. It's a great resource for making gardening spaces in poor conditions, especially as a no-till method.
Kudos on the weight gain! As someone who has been underweight all of my life, I totally know where you're coming from. Here's to the extra pound and snugger clothes!
It drives me absolutely bananas to see the magazines at the checkout lines at the grocery. "X GAINS WEIGHT!" "X IN WEIGHT CRISES!" "X LOSES 25 POUNDS! 'HOW I DID IT!" "IS X ANOREXIC?"
Gah!
I'm glad you're getting back to a healthy weight. May we all find that healthy weight no matter what it is.
Thanks, Loztnausten. I'll look for that book.
Liz, those magazines drive me crazy too.
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