Babywise?
Here's an interesting article by Dr. Sears addressing some of the Christian parenting advice from those who claim to be teaching the only correct formula for "growing kids God's way".
Do you agree? Disagree? Have something to add?
I'll put my thoughts in the comments when I have a few minutes to write them out.
Do you agree? Disagree? Have something to add?
I'll put my thoughts in the comments when I have a few minutes to write them out.
Labels: parenting, relationships
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Posted by purple_kangaroo at 10:48 AM[Permanent link]
3 Comments:
It's been clearly identified (mostly by my husband)that I am a control freak. That said, it would never occur to me to suspect an infant of "manipulating" me to get her own way.
Now, my three-year-old, on the other hand, she's a whole different story.
Additionally, as someone who breastfed on demand and still had supply problems, I can only imagine the anguish of someone who has been told she must adhere to a strict nursing schedule that does not always (if ever) fit the needs of her baby.
I find it very sad that so much misinformation is being touted as Gospel.
I think every parent has to decide what's best for them and more importantly what works for each child. Every child in the same family can be so different. I personally had great success with the babywise way of getting them to sleep, but not right off the bat. It worked at about 4 months. But that was mostly the eat, play, sleep thing. Doing that they really didn't need to cry. It was a great schedule and worked twice for me.
Thanks for your comments, ladies.
We did the eat/play/sleep pattern as much as possible, too, in a rather general and relaxed way. We did find it helpful. There are certainly some good and helpful ideas in the books and classes.
I am always extra-cautious with any book or teacher that takes man's advice on something that is not clearly taught in Scripture and calls it "God's way"--especially when, as the Ezzos have done, they then teach that anyone who disagrees with their exact approach is disobedient, rebellious, misinformed, or somehow not truly following God.
I do think there are some good things that many families have found useful. Unfortunately I know also of a number of people who have ended up having severe problems (both with infants and with older children) because of trying to follow the GKGW/Babywise plan too strictly when it wasn't working for their family.
As Amy mentioned, scheduling can cause supply issues and other problems in a breastfeeding relationship. Since breastfeeding is very much a supply-and-demand-driven thing, a woman really needs to be able to nurse as often and as long as necessary.
Limiting the length or frequency of nursing sessions can cause insufficient milk supply and failure to thrive. Nursing every hour or two can be very normal and necessary at times. For other babies or at other times, limiting the time or duration of feeding sessions may be helpful.
I don't think there is any one-size-fits-all method that works perfectly for everyone.
I feel that the Ezzos misapply Scripture in some areas to support ideas that are not specifically taught in the Bible.
I am also concerned that the GKGW/PFP teachings can lead to parents being unecessarily harsh and controlling with their children, and to legalism. Obviously this is not an issue for every parent who uses some of the ideas taught, and there are many parents who have used some of their ideas without being legalistic or harsh. But it is a concern because of the dogmatic way the Ezzos teach and the way they have responded to those who disagree with them.
There is a website at http://www.ezzo.info/ that outlines some of the practical, theological, spiritual and other concerns with the Ezzos' teachings.
As with anything, I think every parent should use discernment, prayer, wisdom, and seeking the Scriptures for themselves in deciding which advice to follow.
As good stewards, we should also be aware of our own family's and individual children's needs and temperaments and adjust our parenting accordingly.
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