Discipline vs. Punishment

I am reading a book by Tom L. Sanford called, "If Parenting is a Three-Ring Circus, How Come I'm Not the Ringmaster?: Creative Ways to Raise Great Kids!"

I liked this quote from the beginning of Chapter Six: Discipline vs. Punishment:

Punishment is the emotional response to another's behavior that has less to do with their actions and more to do with the release of your emotional energy.

Punishment has little to do with one's misbehavior and a lot to do with the desire of another to inflict emotional or physical pain on the subject.

Discipline, on the other hand, deals with the consequences of one's own behavior. At that moment in time there is the opportunity to teach valuable lessons. Briefly speaking, this is your "teachable moment." Hence the word "discipline". Those are golden opportunities to disciple one who has learned a valuable lesson without demeaning, ridiculing, or treating one in a condescending manner."

Later in the chapter, he talks about how when a child makes a mistake or a poor choice, it is helpful to avoid overreacting and making it your problem. Instead, let it be their problem. Don't get upset. Just hold them responsible for fixing it.

He says, "Giving a child the right to respond and offer to fix the problem without a parent overreacting does wonders for relationships. Sometimes, because of age or other factors, it might be impossible for them to fix or resolve a problem. That is when you negotiate a deal. You'll take care of their problem if they will do something for you. My daughter learned how to mow the lawn and wash cars through such negotiations."

In the next chapter, his point is "If logic doesn't work, why use it?" He says that when there is a disagreement, we need to focus on love and forgiveness, not logic and being right.

So far I'm about halfway through the book, and have read a lot of interesting and amusing examples of natural and logical consequences used creatively and with good humor, very effectively. It's an interesting book.