11 months

Baby Nae will be a year old in a couple of weeks. As always, it seems like the time just flies by. Two years ago I never would have imagined my life as it is today. We thought we were done having babies; that we had left the baby and toddler stage, not to return until our kids were grown and we either became foster parents and/or became grandparents.

It's much different having a baby this time around. Last time I had a baby my oldest was 4. After that first hair-raising attempt, I never even took a shower without locking all three kids in the bathroom with me if I was home by myself with them. Home alone with three little ones while DH was at work, I couldn't nap if any of them were awake. I could never let my guard down for a moment.

I worried a lot as a young mom . . . worried about all the "shoulds" and "must nots"--worried that I would spoil my baby by holding her too much and picking her up when she cried; worried that I would somehow accidentally permanently damage my children by making some minor unknowing mistake in the way we did bedtime or meals or whatever; worried that my kids would never learn to sleep at night or learn socially appropriate behavior; worried that my 5-year-old stealing a toy would, if I didn't respond exactly right, grow up to be a shoplifter. I knew that gentle discipline was the right choice for our family, but I worried about whether it would really "work" to raise kids without spanking or other punitive punishments. I also worried way too much about what other people thought.

Now, my older three kids are 13, 12, and 9. And, while they're not perfect, of course; they are utterly awesome, amazing, wonderful young people. They're not spoiled brats. They're generally polite and respectful, happy, and relatively responsible. They have age-appropriate struggles and behaviors, but they also seem to have skipped a lot of the problematic issues that many kids their age seem to struggle with. We're constantly working on relationship and communication skills, but overall I think we have a great family with generally good relationships. We like each other, and we generally interact gently and respectfully with each other. We are usually able to talk through and solve problems while helping everyone to feel heard, and that's important. Oh, and they aren't picky eaters, can even cook a meal, and sleep through the night. ;)

Our kids are living proof that you don't have to do everything perfectly right as a parent to end up with really great kids that are a joy to be around. :)

With Baby Nae, in many ways I feel like I was given a "do-over" with parenting a baby. I'm so much more relaxed this time around. I no longer worry about spoiling my baby; I can just enjoy her.

There are several other differences this time around. All four kids are healthy and doing well, and our current school, extracurricular activities and lifestyle are generally a good fit for us. I have so much more help and support, between DH and the older kids who are usually glad to volunteer their help with the baby so I can shower, take a nap or just catch my breath for a few minutes. DH and I are in a better place in our marriage, and have better communication and relationship skills than we did 10 years ago. Both of us are physically and emotionally healthier than we have been in the past. That makes a big difference. Even seemingly small things like getting my milk supply regulated and discovering more comfortable and efficient babywearing methods make a big difference.

The clinical study I participated in early in 2009 was life-changing for me, and I'm still seeing a significant improvement in my health issues and neurological symptoms since removing excitotoxins from my diet. I still struggle, but it's much more manageable when I'm careful what I eat as well as doing my best to get enough rest and keep a reasonable pace to avoid adrenaline surges. Getting the EDS diagnosis has helped me to take caring for my body more seriously, knowing that any kind of physical overexertion can have permanent negative effects, since my connective tissues won't heal properly after being overextended.

I'm sure many of the above factors have contributed to the fact that I did not have postpartum depression this time around, as I did after my first two children were born. Having a healthy baby with no postpartum depression to cope with makes the whole experience of having a baby ever so much more enjoyable.

I still struggle a lot with health issues. What this means, basically, is that I have little to no time or energy for anything beyond the necessities of daily life. It takes all my reserves just to get through the day with things like meals, diaper changes, ferrying kids to and from activities, and resting between things. I do have a couple of regular social activities that I attend on a regular basis . . . a faith-based couple's home group, and a babywearing support group. Each meets every other week or twice a month; and that's about all I can handle. With that, I'm usually able to add in one or two other outings or social interactions in a week. Some weeks I can't even handle one extra activity, and other weeks I might sometimes be able to handle three or possibly (rarely) even more.

At this point in my life, though, I'm getting a little better at accepting and working within my limitations.

And all of that together means that in general I'm really, genuinely enjoying life. I'm loving this season and enjoying it for all I'm worth.

Scheduled Day

Day one (again) of trying to have a more planned-out schedule for the entire day, both for myself and the kids. So far it seems to be going pretty well, actually.

We just finished spending 30 minutes on chores, and now the kids are exercising (walking the dog and going up to the end of the driveway to meet our neighbor at the school bus stop and get the mail) while I take a bit of a rest break. I've been sick for the last several weeks with a respiratory and sinus infection that's been sapping my energy and putting me into a flare-up, but after 26 days it finally seems to be in the process of getting better, hopefully.

We had a hot breakfast (side pork, home-grown fried eggs, and bananas) and the kids are mostly done with school (7yo still has some to do later during her scheduled free time, because she wasn't diligent during school time, but AJ and M&M got done early enough to have an hour of extra free time).

Dinner is well underway--soup is put together and simmering on the stove, and I'll probably make biscuits or muffins to go with it. The main part of the soup is legumes--quinoa and a variety of split legumes--red lentils, matpe beans and pigeon peas. I added homemade broth (from simmering the bones from a chicken and a rabbit we raised and butchered and had for dinner earlier in the week); some fresh carrots, tomatoes, onions, garlic, sweet potato and a tomato; celery, chickweed, dandelions and deadnettle from our garden and fields; and some Himalayan pink salt and black pepper. So far it's looking and smelling very flavorful. I have some additive-free country-style breakfast sausage that I may cook up and add for flavor, perhaps--or maybe I'll just add a pat of butter and garnish with sour cream. If I don't add the meat, I may try blending up the soup with an immersion blender before adding some frozen sweet white corn just before serving (yes, we can have fresh corn now!). We'll have a green salad alongside, with some more wild greens added to the store-bought salad mix to add interest and nutritional density.

Now it's time for the next thing on our list--working on caring for the animals, cleaning out cages, etc. We'll have about an hour of family fun time together after dinner.

I'm using The Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner, a system my mom discovered and started using, that I decided to try too . . . it incorporates elements from Sidetracked Home Executives, Flylady and similar systems in a way that seems to be a really good fit for me. The lady who wrote it has chronic health issues (lupus) and it is designed in a way that seems so much less overwhelming and easier to do than other ways of organizing household tasks I've tried.

The tasks are divided up in a really incremental, manageable way, and I can just tell the kids to pick a job off the page posted on the refrigerator when it comes time to assign chores. It's pretty flexible, and at this point I'm just doing what I can and not worrying too much if it doesn't quite all get done.

* Full disclosure: After writing this post, I decided to look at see if TCM happened to have an affiliate program. They do, so I set up an account and edited the post to include my affiliate link. The link above will give me a kickback of any sales initiated through that link.

The Pleasure of Poultry

I've come to the blog several times to write a post, but so much has changed since I was blogging regularly that it seems overwhelming trying to catch my readers up to "life now" as opposed to "life then." I finally decided just to jump in and start writing about the "now," even if it leaves some gaps.

We now have small acreage (more than 5 acres, less than 10) in the country, which is an absolute dream come true for me. I've always been a farm girl at heart, and I feel so much more at home out here in the country, surrounded by fields and animals, and good-hearted farm people. Our nearest neighbor is a quarter of a mile away, but the neighbors here are a comfortable little community that finds the balance between having each others backs and "live and let live" in a way that suburban neighborhood politics can't reach.

I've always wanted poultry. Last summer we chicken-sat for a friend, which gave us a chance to try out having chickens. These weren't just any chickens--they were a small flock of Barred Plymouth Rocks that have been bred for generations by a hobbyist breeder who was working on getting show-quality characteristics and homestead production characteristics in the same flock. These birds are from lines carefully selected for good health, temperament, size, production, hardiness and longevity, foraging ability, and general gorgeous ideal chicken-ness. :)

We ended up purchasing a rooster and 4 hens from that flock, and also with the breeder's permission last fall we hatched out a couple of batches of BPR eggs.

Just for variety, we also ended up with a couple of Easter Eggers/"Americaunas" and a handful of bantam chickens. I had fallen in love with the midget white turkeys at my friend's house also, and I bought four turkey poults which turned out to be a tom and three hens. Midget white turkeys are a rare breed that are at adulthood only slightly larger than a chicken, and they are very friendly and full of personality. And, I obtained a few coturnix quail that were sort of thrown in with the turkeys. :)

I'm enjoying the poultry *so* much, and am finding them to be a fairly easy-maintenance type of livestock to own. Not only are the eggs beautiful and delicious, but the birds themselves are so enjoyable to have around.

I'd heard that turkeys were supposed to be stupid, but I think my midget white turkeys are actually smarter than the chickens. And they are *so* curious! It's hilarious to see them all running to go look at whatever is happening. They are also highly expressive. I love all the noises they make. They gobble, but they also purr, trill, and make a "put, put" noise when they are interested in something. And they hiss just like a cat when they are frightened or angry.

The young roosters from the batch of chicks we hatched out in September are posturing and challenging each other, but no serious fights so far. They puff up their neck feathers at each other, jump in the air once or twice, and then each go their own way. It is getting to be time to eat some, though, I think. I'm looking forward to seeing how some of the extra roosters will taste.

The younger chickens seem to be getting along fine with Elmer and his ladies (the older established flock). They mostly ignore each other, and I haven't seen any showdowns between them. They all enjoy free-ranging and then put themselves to bed at night (although I have a few night birds that want to stay out and play in the dark just outside the door, that I usually have to shoo inside before I close things up). 

One of my favorite things about the chickens is how solicitous the roosters are of the hens--calling them over for the best bits of food, and making sure they take cover if a hawk or other predator comes around. They also have a variety of vocalizations, and I'm learning to understand chicken language too. There are different calls for, "Hmm, what's this?" "Come on, girls, I found something yummy for you!" "Danger! Take cover!" "I'm laying an egg." and so forth. They particularly like to pick through the rabbitry and the manure pile, eating any dropped food, worms or insects they can find. The poultry are especially useful as fly control. 

Eventually I'd also like to add a handful of muscovy ducks, both because of their meat and eggs, and also because of their reputation for eating massive quantities of mosquitos, flies and even mice.

I'm sick with one of those winter viruses, so stayed home from church today. But even sitting here feeling miserable, watching my birds puttering around outside the window makes me smile.

Maid to Order

AJ just went around the house, handing out the following questionnaire to all household members:

                                                                                               Name: ______________________

   Questionnaire

1.      What should a maid do? (check one or more)

(a)   Clean up after kids

(b)   Break up fights

(c)    Wash the dishes

(d)   Other

2.      If you checked “other” in the last question, fill in what you were thinking of.

________________________________________________________________

3.      Would you pay a maid:

(a)   Fifty cents

(b)   One dollar

(c)    Five dollars

(d)   Other (please write here) _________________________

4.      Do you want the maid to clean your room?

(a)   Yes

(b)   No

5.      Do you want me to cook…

(a)   Breakfast

(b)   Lunch

(c)    Dinner

(d)   Snacks

(e)   None

6.      Who do you think would be the best maid?

(a)   AJ

(b)   M&M

(c)    Ebee

(d)   Other____________________

7.      Should the maid be allowed to eat, drink, and otherwise associate with the rest of the family?

(a)   Yes

(b)   No

(c)    Sometimes

Please return this questionnaire to:

AJ 

Room 2

Upstairs

Kangaroo Housing Associates

I read the survey, and said to AJ, "Very interesting. What's this all about?"

"Well," she said, "Ebee and I both want to be the maid. So instead of arguing about who gets to do it, I thought this might be a good way to solve the problem."

Apparently, my daughters are arguing over who gets to do the most housework. I can live with that. :)

BTW, I made no changes in spelling, formatting, grammar, etc.--this was all her own work. I changed only the names to make it blog-friendly.

Long Time No Blog

Wow, it's been about a year and a half since my last post. So much and yet so little has changed since then.

We sold our house and moved from the suburbs to acreage in the country, not too far from our extended family. We absolutely love it here. Our neighbors are all farmers and we are surrounded by cattle, horses, pigs and poultry.

We've added chickens, coturnix quail and midget white turkeys to our menagerie, as well as three mouse-hunting cats (one old black cat that had been a stray and stayed with the house when we moved in, and two sweet blue kittens). We still have rabbits, which we raise and show, and our sweet dog, who loves living on a farm and makes it her responsibility to make sure all the other animals are safe.

Not a week passes that one of us doesn't say aloud how much we love living here. It's so wonderful.

I've become a 4-H leader and am loving helping kids learn about rabbits. We have a really great group of kids.

DH is still working at the same job; computer programmer and general computer guru.

We're still attending the same church, and are involved in various small groups and ministries.

This year and last year, the kids have been in a hybrid program where they attend school half of the week and do their assignments at home the other half. It's been a fabulous fit for our family. DH takes the girls to school the mornings they have school, which allows me to sleep in, and usually I pick them up in the afternoon. The extra rest really makes a difference for me, and I'm able to be more functional.

My health issues are still there, and still fluctuate, but are a constant challenge. I'm still far better than I was a few years ago, though, and am still able to do quite a lot as long as I pace myself and plan for the inevitable resting up and recuperating time before and after any activity.

My sister saw a geneticist who specializes in connective tissue disorders, and was diagnosed with a hereditary connective tissue disorder. Probably some version of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome or something very similar, though the tests to verify which version don't yet exist (it's not one of the few very serious types that tests have been developed for).

A hereditary issue makes so much sense, considering that both of my siblings and several of our extended family members all suffer from the same kinds of health issues. We're not quite sure whether that diagnosis is instead of or in addition to the FMS/CFIDS stuff, and are still learning about this and what it means.

Largely it makes me a little more careful and aware about overextending myself. While the chance of something like a rupture of a major organ is very small (we don't have the vascular version which carries a life expectancy in the mid-30s due to the high chance of heart or lung rupture), with this type of issue the connective tissue in skin, muscle and joints can suffer permanent damage or wear out preliminarily. From what I understand, any sort of overextension or straining could hasten or worsen issues that could cause more serious long-term disability. Limiting myself in that way is difficult for me with my personality, and I don't always succeed, but I'm trying. :)

My main concern, of course, is for our children and whether they will suffer from it or not. One of our kids is definitely hypermobile, which is one of the big indicators of the disease, but at this point all of the kids are healthy, happy and doing fabulously.

In addition to school, 4-H, AWANA and church activities, the kids are each taking lessons--M&M and Ebee are doing gymnastics (M&M, in particular, is an amazing athlete), and AJ did a couple of sessions of Christian Youth Theater and is now taking dance classes.

Overall, life is good and we feel very blessed.

Turning in the Service Dog in Training Vest

Mira has made a lot of progress in the year and a half I've had her, but it has become clear that we will probably never be able to count on her being 100% unflappable and appropriate in every situation. She just has not been able to completely get past the consequences of having lived in an abusive household before we got her, and having been trained as a guard dog previously. Although she is no longer afraid of most people and situations, it's still too unpredictable what will set off a fear or protection reaction for her.

I've had her in and out of public-access training several times, thought we had worked through things and began gradually working toward putting her back in it, only to have something else pop up and have to pull her out again.

At our last session with our trainer, my trainer and I were sitting at a table talking as people were walking by at a mall. A woman with a large shopping bag came up and was almost right in Mira's face before any of us saw her coming.

She asked if she could pet the dog.

As I said, "No. Please don't; she's in training" the woman moved in even closer toward Mira, reaching toward her. Mira got partway to her feet toward the woman, barking and growling at her. She still thinks she is a guard dog, as she had been trained to be by her previous owner. She knew I had just told the woman to stay away and was going to make sure she did.

At that point we decided that enough was enough, and it wasn't fair to Mira, me or the public to continue putting her in a position where this sort of thing could happen. No matter how careful we are and how much we train, I can't guarantee that it won't happen again with the right trigger. Mira has barked and growled and rushed at people more than once (even though when she had the chance to bite, she just stopped and looked sheepishly at the person).

I do not regret bringing Mira home, and she will still be able to help me a lot at home. She is very good at her assistance tasks and can still help me a lot on the days I stay home and need to minimize movement and exertion. But I have turned in our "service dog in training" vest and will not be doing public access training with her any more.

The good thing is that ever since I was in the double-blind placebo-controlled study through a local teaching and research university, and discovered that my neurological symptoms, balance issues, brain fog, fatigue, pain and other symptoms were hugely affected by excitotoxins in my diet, I've been feeling so much better that I really don't feel that I need a service dog for public access work any more. I am better able to predict and prevent my bad spells, and when I do have a bad spell I pretty much stay home anyway.

Almost all of the other fibromyalgia/IBS patients in the study were similarly helped--84% had more than 30% improvement in symptoms, and some even got to the point where they didn't meet the diagnostic criteria for having fibromyalgia any more after going through the study. It has been very exciting to be a part of that! The study author will be publishing the study results in scientific journals and coming out with a book on the excitotoxin-free diet soon.

So, Mira is transitioning to being an at-home helper and family pet. We're going to continue training, and are hoping to take a "Control Unleashed" class and eventually pass the Canine Good Citizen test. But we have ended one journey and are beginning a new one together.

I'm sad, and I feel that I've failed her. I keep wondering if I'd been more diligent or had done things differently, if the results would have been different. But at this point I know this was the right decision. In a way, it will make life a lot less easier for both of us and take a lot of the pressure off trying to make her fit into a role that she just didn't have the temperament and stability for, and that was constantly stressful for us both.

I am looking forward to continuing to train and learn with her.

Trying to find solutions

Tomorrow I have my appointment with the fibromyalgia specialist (well, he's an internist or something like that, really, but he's supposed to be one of the best fibro doctors there is). I'm really hoping he'll be able to offer some kind of help or solutions to try. The pain, fatigue, disorientation/brain fog, etc. has been pretty bad lately.

In the afternoon tomorrow, an old friend/acquaintance is coming over. I'll most likely be hiring her a couple of afternoons a week to help with light housekeeping, childcare, and general tasks. With DH's recent raise, we think we can hire her for 5 hours a week or a little more--maybe even 10 hours some weeks. Hopefully that will be enough to make a difference.

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Ideally we'd have someone live in who could just be here every day to help out and drive places, and let me go to bed to rest for several hours every day, but that doesn't seem manageable at this point. Unless we found someone who was interested in getting room and board as part of their salary. We've put out some feelers about that (and tried to talk one of our nieces into coming to stay with us if she decides to take a term off college), but we don't seem to have any really strong leads yet.

This afternoon I had to call DH home from work again because I got to the point where I was too ill to take care of the kids. He came home for a couple of hours and let me go to bed, and then I was able to manage again for a while. I hate having to call him and ask him to come home from work. It's been happening far too often this year. Hopefully we can find some solutions that will be more effective to help me feel better, or help us manage anyway.

Morning came and picked me up on Saturday to go and buy dog food from the pet speciality store down the street, and a few essentials at another store. I was still feeling pretty poorly even after going to bed early the night before and sleeping all morning, so I had planned to get an electric cart/wheelchair thingy. But they were all taken. So I leaned on the cart and on the stuff in the aisles, and occasionally sat down on the floor, and made it through the shopping trip.

Morning was so kind and patient with me, even doing things like dropping me off at the door and helping pull me to my feet when I bent down to look at something and my knees locked up. She didn't even mind my grabbing her arm for balance.

But after that, I decided to buy a cane.

It's a nice cane. Adjustable, with a nice good-stability rubber tip. It has a nice padded handle and even a wrist loop.

It's really quite a big help. I hadn't actually been falling down, but I had developed a habit of holding onto things or touching the wall, tables, etc. as I walked by for balance and grounding. The cane helps a lot with that. It took so much energy just trying to deal with the floaty, dizzy, disoriented feeling when I was walking. Having a cane to hold onto makes walking or standing significantly less taxing.

And, when I have to stand in line or otherwise stand still for a few minutes, I can lean on it instead of leaning on a counter or against the wall, or having to sit down on the floor quite so soon. It even works o lean on when bending over, and makes a nice reaching stick to reach things on the floor or up high.

In one way, I feel like, "Wow, canes are great! Everyone should have one! Why didn't I do this sooner?"

I can use the cane when I need it, and leave it at home or in the car when I don't (except that then I may end up without it when I suddenly need it).

What I didn't anticipate was how utterly embarrassed I would feel walking into a roomful of people, some of whom have known me for years, using a cane. We went to a gathering last night for some missonary friends who are home briefly. It was wonderful to see them and others that we know, but I was surprised at how hard it was to be there with a cane.

Not because of them--everyone was wonderful about it. But just because it's like a big neon sign saying "disabled." And I'm not disabled, really, am I? Or at least, I'm only disabled part of the time. Right? Well, I guess it depends on how you define it. I don't want to be disabled. Nobody does.

Usually I pace myself so carefully that even most of my close friends haven't seen me at the points when I'm struggling the most. Partly because usually I stay home and in bed when I'm feeling especially badly. But also because I plan around visits with friends. If I carefully rest up beforehand, I can push through a few hours of looking and sounding pretty normal, and even energetic, even if I've been feeling pretty badly. Even if I crash the moment we leave, or the moment the door closes behind the visitors. But it's been harder lately, because my good spells have been less frequent and more short-lived.

I have been telling myself that, really, you can't look much more disabled than having a service dog. But having a cane is a whole different level. I find myself hoping the need for it won't last long. But, realistically, even if things improve significantly, it's something I'll probably still want to have around for flare-ups indefinitely. And for occasions like getting dental work or chiropractic adjustments that I know will cause immediate pain, stiffness, fatigue, weakness and dizziness.

I've been fighting discouragement a lot lately. But, thankfully, I haven't been struggling with real depression.

When people ask me how I'm doing lately, my answer tends to be something like this:

"Life has been challenging. I'm really struggling with my health. But my husband is amazingly wonderful and supportive, and my kids are great. Most of all, God is good, and He has been so faithful in our lives. He's taking care of us."

And He is.

May I just say

That I really, really like having the housecleaners come. Now that I've gotten over the embarrassment and am getting into the swing of getting ready, it's a wonderful thing. They are here for 3-4 hours and when they leave every surface in the house is shining. They even take apart the stovetop to clean the drip pans and burner rings.

With my lower energy levels and higher pain levels the last several weeks, the timing of having them come couldn't be better.

Best. Birthday gift. Ever. Thank you, DH.

* * * * *

OH, also, Baby E wanted me to know this evening (again) that she is definitely A "big dwown-up, not a widdow dwon-up. A big dwown-up who dwinks miwk fwom hew mommy."

I think I'm going to start calling her E-bee. We still call her something similar to that as a nickname, because she's such a busy little bee. Do you think that will work as a good bloggy name for her?

Resting

The cleaning crew (two men) on Tuesday was great. They were friendly, hardworking, and set me at ease even though they could tell I was a bit embarrassed to be needing help cleaning my house.

I spent most of the day going ahead of them to pick up floors so they could vaccuum, declutter countertops, get out linens for them to put on the beds, etc.

I ended up overdoing it, so I've been struggling with pain and fatigue, and just generally not feeling well since then. Somehow I need to get it through my head that the week or so it takes me to recover just isn't worth pushing myself that hard to get things done.

My house looks good, though.

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It took two professional men (who never stopped to take a breath, it seemed) over 4 hours to clean 2/3 of the house. The rooms that are still full of clutter I just had them ignore. So they cleaned the kitchen and nook, family room, entry, staircase, hallway, master bedroom, kids' room, playroom, and all 3 bathrooms.

I don't know whether it makes me feel better or worse that it took more than 8 man-hours to clean just part of my house. In a way, it makes me feel a bit better about not being able to keep up on my own. That didn't even include any of the daily maintenance things like dishes and laundry, decluttering, meal prep, etc--it was just vaccuuming, mopping floors, cleaning bathtubs, dusting and stuff like that.

I made it through the week, although I barely managed to do the minimum necessary to take care of the kids, do a little bit of school with them, and feed them. DH helped a lot, taking over and letting me rest when he got home from work. He's such a sweet guy.

I keep wondering if I have some kind of low-grade virus, but it's so hard to tell whether I'm actually sick or it's just a flare-up. Either one has about the same results.

I'm trying to take care of myself. I've cleaned up my diet (no sugar or refined carbs--I had let that slide a bit over the holidays), am taking some extra vitamins and supplements, am back to limiting gluten and completely avoiding all dairy products (just for myself since that seemed to help in the past, not for the rest of the family), have upped my water intake, and am going to bed earlier and resting during the day as much as I can, but so far nothing seems to be making much of a difference. Hopefully something will kick in soon.

Today DH is home from work and is taking care of the kids and running errands. Tomorrow we'll have church (I'm supposed to work in Baby E's class) and home group. I would have really liked to get out of the house and do something fun, either with DH and the kids or by myself today. Or catch up on dishes and laundry that have gotten a bit behind, or make some more progress on the decluttering. But it takes too much energy.

It's annoying, because when I'm feeling okay I'm the type of person that has to be on the go or doing something all the time. I hate getting up in the morning and feeling like all I want to do is crawl back into bed. When getting dressed and taking a shower makes me feel I've run a marathon, and I ache so much and have such a fuzzy brain that I can hardly process what people are saying to me.

Today I'm just resting.

We're OK

A little while ago we had a sudden storm that was really intense. It started out with pouring down rain and very loud thunder and lightning, progressing to huge hailstones hammering the roof and intense winds. It lasted quite a bit longer than hailstorms usually do here.

I thought, "Wow, it almost sounds like that wind is trying to rip off the roof." When the storm got intense and the power started flockering, I made sure we were all downstairs and encouraged the kids to come and look at the hail from a safe distance.

A while later, a friend called to ask if we were okay. It turns out that it was quite possibly a tornado (it looks like it, but apparently National Weather Service has to confirm that, which will take a day or so).*

The worst of it was at one of the stores we often shop at, about 5 minutes away. There were cars and a semi trailer flipped over, roofs ripped off, billboards destroyed, trees downed, and buildings damaged. Lots of downed power lines and trees, of course.

Right now they're showing on the news a picture of a building with 2/3 of the building literally ripped off and vehicles with broken windows that were lifted into the air and dumped in different places. Another picture was of a pickup truck on top of a wall ripped off a nearby building.

They're showing eyewitnesses that saw a funnel and/or swirling clouds. Now there's a picture of debris like pine needles and a piece of wood embedded in the side of a house. I haven't been out to check the outside of our house yet.

What's amazing is that so far there have been no reports of injuries.

We almost never get tornadoes here. The last tornado in this area was before I was born.

I'm actually sort of glad I didn't know it was a tornado when it was happening. I would have been a little more scared.

I wish I'd gotten some video or pictures of it, though. :)

* The National Weather Service just confirmed that it was indeed a tornado.

Call for reader advice--buying mattresses?

We need to buy new mattresses for the kids . . . the ones the older girls have been sleeping on are some my family had when I was a kid, that my parents have let us use. They're getting pretty old and uncomfortable. Baby E is wanting to sleep in a big bed like the older girls, too.

DH and I don't know much about buying new mattresses. I was wondering if anyone had any good tips for buying mattresses--what to look for, where to shop, etc.

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We want to get the mattresses new, although eventually we'd like to get some nice frames or headboards too, and would be open to getting those used. (We really like the bunkbeds with bookcases in the headboards that can be converted to single beds, and the railing would be nice for the 2yo even if we didn't have it set up as a bunkbed, so I'll be keeping an eye out for something like that in good used condition.) Most likely we're looking at just twin size mattresses for all three girls.

Anyway, I've seen new mattresses at the Goodwill . . . I imagine they are donated from stores that have overstock and don't sell them all, or something like that. Has anyone ever bought one of those?

Does anyone have a particular brand of mattress to recommend that's good quality but not too expensive?

Also, do we need a new box spring too, or would the new top mattress be sufficient? How do I tell if the box spring is wearing out and needs to be replaced?

Another consideration is that I have dust mite allergies, so I'm thinking it might help minimize allergens in the house to just get new box springs too, and put dust mite covers on everything before we use any of the new stuff.

TIA if anyone has any experience to share!

Raising Dust

Yesterday SIL The Mentor came over to help me start sorting through the clutter in my house. Before she got here I fixed breakfast, fed the kids and animals, did a load of dishes, watered the garden and did several loads of laundry, sorting out some things to give away and sell and helping the kids put their clothes away.

When SIL arrived we were just finishing lunch. I'd made a smoothie out of frozen berries, orange juice, rice milk, calcium/magnesium powder and acidophilus, with a handful of fresh greens. Even with 2 or 3 turnip leaves, a leaf each of kholrabi, collard, lettuce and cabbage, and a few Swiss chard leaves blended in, the smoothie was quite sweet and delicious. I was surprised at how good it was. What an easy way to get the kids to eat raw leafy green vegetables! Most of the greens were straight from the garden--young, fresh and sweet. I think I'll try that again today.

After I got the cauliflower soup simmering for dinner (with a few collard leaves added this time), SIL and I got to work.

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First we loaded all our old rickety chairs into her van. I'd bought a set of 6 wooden chairs in good condition for $4 each at a garage sale last week, so for the first time since we got married DH and I actually own a matching set of dining chairs. It's so nice to have a set of chairs that look decent, and none of them are wobbly or falling apart. At $24 for the set, it was an affordable luxury.

SIL and I attacked the office next. We sorted things into piles to throw away, give away and sell. She filled her van with items to donate and took them to drop off for me on her way home.

It was so wonderful to have the help and moral support from SIL. We made good progress, although it will take weeks or months of hard work to get the house decluttered and organized. SIL is going to help me come up with storage solutions so that I have a place to put away all the craft supplies and other things I'm choosing to keep.

This morning I filled several more bags and put them out for the ARC pickup. We still have a long way to go, but you can actually see a fair amount of carpet in the office now. The whole room was piled high with clutter--mostly bags of clothing I'd bought years ago to sell on eBay, before Baby E was born.

The clothes I'm not donating, I'm going to take to a couple of local consignment shops. DH and I also decided that it's not worth the space to store most of the baby things. With a few exceptions, they would be easy and fairly inexpensive to replace if we had another baby.

So we donated several large items (like the exersaucer) to our church MOMS group garage sale fundraiser. I'm setting aside a few items to sell, and more to give away. We'll donate many of the necessities like car seats to a ministry that provides a home, help and support to young mothers in difficult situations who are choosing to keep their babies. It's a good cause. I'm glad to be able to help in a small way.

After SIL left last night, I fed the kids dinner and talked to a reporter from the New York Times, who had called to interview me about something I wrote months ago on my blog. That was kind of exciting.

Just as I was finishing with that, Malamute Rescue Guy arrived with his three kids. Since his wife is on a business trip, I volunteered to watch all 6 kids so the two guys could go to a meeting for the worship teams at our church.

Baby H, who is several months younger than Baby E, missed her mommy and daddy, but her 7-year-old sister A was a big help in distracting and cuddling her. Mr. M, the 3-year-old boy, did great. My kids, of course, were thrilled to have playmates.

All 6 kids played on the swingset for a while. It was so cute seeing Baby E trying to guide Baby H around the yard and coax her to go down the slide. She led Baby H by the hand to the small slide, got her to climb up, and then ran around to the bottom of the slide.

E held out her hands to Baby H, saying, "'Mon, H. Side. I tatch oo. Side; 'mon. Ooo do it. Tatch oo."

Baby H wouldn't slide, so Baby E went around to the steps, climbed up next to her, and showed her how to go down. Just then H realized afresh that her Daddy was gone and started crying, so I picked her up and tried to comfort her. She did enjoy the baby swing, though, and was happy as long as she was being pushed in that. E enjoyed helping "push" her.

After a while we came in and I let the kids help me make a special treat. They peeled zucchini, measured, sifted and stirred while we made a chocolate-zucchini cake. Made with 2 cups of zucchini, mixed with whole-wheat flour and sweetened with honey, it made a relatively healthy treat that was a big hit. While it baked, I helped the kids get their pajamas on and then we read stories.

By the time the extra kids were gone and our kids were in bed, I was completely exhausted. My allergies were acting up from all the cleaning even though I'd worn a dust mask much of the time. There were no sheets or blankets on the bed, but I ended up falling asleep next to a pile of laundry I'd been sorting and some other things piled there to put away, fully clothed, with my cell phone and keys still in the pockets of my jeans.

Unfortunately, sleeping on just the dust mite cover over the mattress wasn't helpful. By the time I woke up this morning my allergies were even more in full bloom and the fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue symptoms were flaring up on top of the congestion, coughing, itching, watery eyes and runny nose. A dose of Zyrtec is at least helping me to be functional. I think I'll vaccuuum the mattress cover before putting on fresh bedding. Hopefully that will help.

Baby E is napping early today, so I think I'll have the older kids take quiet time early so I can shower and nap (or at least rest a bit) too. Then we'll take a load of things to the consignment store.

I'm really excited to be getting so much of this junk out of our house. It will make our home so much more pleasant and usable, and I hope it will help with the allergies too.

Japanese Maple

I've been having a lot of fun with my camera lately. I began experimenting with taking more photos of subjects besides people while we were at the coast, and even tried capturing some more abstract "artsy" type pictures of patterns in the sand and surf. I'm also just trying to learn how to get better detail, color and composition in photos--starting with landscapes, objects and plants.

The more photos I take, the more I realize that I have a lot to learn. And that I really love taking pictures. Someday I'd like to take a photography class. Honestly, though, my short-term goal is to read the manual that came with my camera.

I'll be posting some of my experiments on the blog. Feel free to post comments, suggestions or even constructive criticism.



We planted two Japanese Maple trees when we built our house nearly 6 years ago. One died, but this one thrived. It nearly fills the entire flowerbed near the front porch now.