11 months

Baby Nae will be a year old in a couple of weeks. As always, it seems like the time just flies by. Two years ago I never would have imagined my life as it is today. We thought we were done having babies; that we had left the baby and toddler stage, not to return until our kids were grown and we either became foster parents and/or became grandparents.

It's much different having a baby this time around. Last time I had a baby my oldest was 4. After that first hair-raising attempt, I never even took a shower without locking all three kids in the bathroom with me if I was home by myself with them. Home alone with three little ones while DH was at work, I couldn't nap if any of them were awake. I could never let my guard down for a moment.

I worried a lot as a young mom . . . worried about all the "shoulds" and "must nots"--worried that I would spoil my baby by holding her too much and picking her up when she cried; worried that I would somehow accidentally permanently damage my children by making some minor unknowing mistake in the way we did bedtime or meals or whatever; worried that my kids would never learn to sleep at night or learn socially appropriate behavior; worried that my 5-year-old stealing a toy would, if I didn't respond exactly right, grow up to be a shoplifter. I knew that gentle discipline was the right choice for our family, but I worried about whether it would really "work" to raise kids without spanking or other punitive punishments. I also worried way too much about what other people thought.

Now, my older three kids are 13, 12, and 9. And, while they're not perfect, of course; they are utterly awesome, amazing, wonderful young people. They're not spoiled brats. They're generally polite and respectful, happy, and relatively responsible. They have age-appropriate struggles and behaviors, but they also seem to have skipped a lot of the problematic issues that many kids their age seem to struggle with. We're constantly working on relationship and communication skills, but overall I think we have a great family with generally good relationships. We like each other, and we generally interact gently and respectfully with each other. We are usually able to talk through and solve problems while helping everyone to feel heard, and that's important. Oh, and they aren't picky eaters, can even cook a meal, and sleep through the night. ;)

Our kids are living proof that you don't have to do everything perfectly right as a parent to end up with really great kids that are a joy to be around. :)

With Baby Nae, in many ways I feel like I was given a "do-over" with parenting a baby. I'm so much more relaxed this time around. I no longer worry about spoiling my baby; I can just enjoy her.

There are several other differences this time around. All four kids are healthy and doing well, and our current school, extracurricular activities and lifestyle are generally a good fit for us. I have so much more help and support, between DH and the older kids who are usually glad to volunteer their help with the baby so I can shower, take a nap or just catch my breath for a few minutes. DH and I are in a better place in our marriage, and have better communication and relationship skills than we did 10 years ago. Both of us are physically and emotionally healthier than we have been in the past. That makes a big difference. Even seemingly small things like getting my milk supply regulated and discovering more comfortable and efficient babywearing methods make a big difference.

The clinical study I participated in early in 2009 was life-changing for me, and I'm still seeing a significant improvement in my health issues and neurological symptoms since removing excitotoxins from my diet. I still struggle, but it's much more manageable when I'm careful what I eat as well as doing my best to get enough rest and keep a reasonable pace to avoid adrenaline surges. Getting the EDS diagnosis has helped me to take caring for my body more seriously, knowing that any kind of physical overexertion can have permanent negative effects, since my connective tissues won't heal properly after being overextended.

I'm sure many of the above factors have contributed to the fact that I did not have postpartum depression this time around, as I did after my first two children were born. Having a healthy baby with no postpartum depression to cope with makes the whole experience of having a baby ever so much more enjoyable.

I still struggle a lot with health issues. What this means, basically, is that I have little to no time or energy for anything beyond the necessities of daily life. It takes all my reserves just to get through the day with things like meals, diaper changes, ferrying kids to and from activities, and resting between things. I do have a couple of regular social activities that I attend on a regular basis . . . a faith-based couple's home group, and a babywearing support group. Each meets every other week or twice a month; and that's about all I can handle. With that, I'm usually able to add in one or two other outings or social interactions in a week. Some weeks I can't even handle one extra activity, and other weeks I might sometimes be able to handle three or possibly (rarely) even more.

At this point in my life, though, I'm getting a little better at accepting and working within my limitations.

And all of that together means that in general I'm really, genuinely enjoying life. I'm loving this season and enjoying it for all I'm worth.

10 Day Pics

Baby Nae,  10 days old. She is such a delight--even when she's wide awake and wanting toplay at 2 a.m. :)

She's Here!

Baby N (whom I think I'll call Baby Nae for blog purposes) was born at 5:31am on December 9, 2013. She was my smallest and tallest baby at 6 lbs 14 oz and 20 inches long. The delivery went very well and she is a beautiful,  healthy,  happy baby.

She's incredibly alert and interactive for a newborn,  and was holding up her head and turning to look toward voices by the time she was a day old. Everyone here is totally in love with her,  and I'm lucky if I get to hold her much when she's not nursing.

I haven't been able to get out of bed and on my feet much yet,  but DH and the older kids are taking good care of me and Baby Nae. I'm thankful to be able to just rest and know that everything is pretty much under control. :)

I'll try to write out her birth story soon, but for now, here's a photo I took in the hospital when she was first born.

Just Waiting

Baby Girl's official due date is this Saturday. I've been having quite a few contractions, but with this being my 4th time around I haven't felt it was time to go to the hospital yet. They fluctuate in frequency and intensity, tending to be more regular and strong in the evenings.

At this point we have the most urgent things ready for the baby and, though there are more things I'd like to get done before she arrives, it would be fine for her to come any time.

I was in quite a bit of pain from my neck to my ankle (and everything in between) after taking a fall a week and a half or so ago, but some chiropractic adjustments helped quite a bit and although I'm still sore, the pain levels have gone down significantly in the last few days.

It's a whole different experience being pregnant with older kids than it was with preschoolers and toddlers. When Ebee was born, AJ was 4 and M&M was 3.

Now that Ebee is 8, M&M is 11 and AJ is 12 (she'll be 13 in February!), it's a whole different experience. I can nap when they're home and awake. Their "help" is actually helpful. They can even cook dinner, although they still need coaching and help for anything complicated.

Best of all, they are really great company and generally fun to be around. They're thriving in school and life and are generally happy, great kids who are well on their way to becoming productive members of society. None of the kids are having any major health or behavior issues (well, other than eBee acting like an 8-year-old and working through some normal transitions), and overall things are going pretty smoothly.

DH and I are in a good place in our relationship too, enjoying each others' company and making a good team.

I'm really enjoying life a lot lately. And, I'm finally feeling less nervous and more excited about adding the adventure of a new baby to the family.

Overall, life is good. Let's hope the lull lasts a while. :)

Where Purple_Kangaroo is From

I am from the teakettle simmering on the back of the stove, from homemade Butterfinger ice cream, and tea parties with Holly Hobbie and Raggedy Ann.

I am from the brown two-story house my father built, wrapped in a broad porch and shadowed by the hill, with frogs croaking at night and Ramblin' Creek bubbling and laughing below.

I am from blackberry vines, wild roses, evergreen trees; tall grass, gerilliums, and koi eating duckweed in the pond.

I am from potlucks at the park and softspoken people who are small spitfires; from Jennie Squires and a Moravian prince who eloped with the milkmaid, and the seven Swift brothers who came on a ship when the land was new.

I am from strongwilled and stubborn, deeply loving and fiercely protective.

From "Don't let that stop you!" and "Your sisters are your best friends;" from Dad taking us fishing and chanting "They're Coming to Take me Away, HaHa" and mom showing us how to do the Charleston and saying, "Look, girls! Isn't the mountain pretty?"

I am from non-denominational evangelical faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior; a relationship not a religion; asking questions and searching the Scriptures, solid on the basics but knowing that there are some things we can't know and it's OK to disagree.

I'm from lumberjacks in the Pacific Northwestern USA; from immigrants and pioneers; from England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, The Netherlands and Czechoslovakia, but adopted Latin America; oven pancake and lemon meringue pie; poppyseed kolache and roast beef empanadas; pan-fried grasshoppers and oven-fried chicken.

From the little green man under the stairs, Uncle Ned's Fox and Coyote stories, Grandpa smiling and saying "Yes, Yes" in Spanish while revolutionaries waved weapons and threatened to kill him, the beaver trap we almost stepped in, and the time Sis ate dirt cookies that I made.

I am from yellowed photo albums, pictures lined up on the shelf in the old farmhouse, the scrapbook of letters from loved ones, the hand-knitted hats and mittens tucked away in the closet, the opal earrings in the treasure box, and the framed picture of the bridge over Multnomah Falls where my grandparents got engaged.

I am from roots run deep in generations of grit, spunk, perseverance in hardship, and love.

----

I got this from MysteryMommy, who got it from Magpie and Crunchy Granola.

This exercise is based on a poem by George Ella Lyon called "Where I'm From."

The template is here if you'd like to join in. Schmutzie is compiling a list of links to different bloggers' versions of the meme.

College Town

DH is traveling right now, visiting his Alma Mater. It's a big anniversary celebration, and since DH's Great-great (?) grandfather founded the college and their family has remained quite involved with it, as many as possible of the family went out for the event. DH's mom and several of his siblings, nieces and nephews are all there.

They have been having a great time, except that yesterday DH's sister, SIL from Flat Land, slipped on a wet sidewalk and broke a bone in her upper arm. Ouch. No more piano-playing or driving for a while. Poor SIL.

I'm praying that SIL's arm heals quickly and well, and that they all have a great time and get home safely (with no more injuries).

I miss DH, but I'm glad he was able to go.

Goodbye for now, Dear Father-in-Law

DH's father, Dr. Bible Professor/Pastor, went to be with his beloved Lord tonight. Please keep the family, and especially DH's mom in your prayers.

FIL leaves behind a legacy of 12 living children and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren who love the Lord, and goes to join two of his children and several grandchildren already in Heaven.

We will miss him, but we know we'll see him again some day.

Bullet Points of Busy

• M&M is doing her last Singapore math lesson for the school year! She's very excited that she's about to finish her book. AJ has quite a ways to go in hers, but I may not have her finish it because she has been so insanely frustrated with it lately. We borrowed Ray's Arithmetic from my mom, and both kids are really enjoying the all-verbal/hands-on approach it takes in the younger grades. I think we will use that for summer math.


• The girls all had big milestones recently. AJ learned how to ride a bicycle without training wheels, M&M learned how to use the monkey bars, and Ebee is picking up letter sounds, writing simple words, and rhyming like crazy.


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• The two older girls and I are going to our third rabbit show this weekend. We're excited about that.
  
  One of our mini satins won Best Opposite of Breed in the last show, and the judges really liked our junior full-sized satins but said they were slightly too young to really compete against the seniors. So we're hoping for good results this show. We're also taking some rabbits to sell, to cut down on the number we have.
  
  AJ and M&M each picked one of the baby mini satins to work with and train to pose for showing, so they're very excited about showing them this weekend.


• Our homeschool co-op and AWANA are over for the summer, but we're not finished with school yet. I trimmed our school schedule down to the bare essentials, though, and structured it so that we (or at least AJ, who seems to need the extra structure and predictability) are doing the same things in the same order every day.
  
  If we work diligently at it, the kids are done with school before lunch. It's nice to have the afternoons free for playing/pets/resting/reading/whatever.


• I haven't blogged about this recently, but AJ is still having trouble processing things like change, transitions, anything being different from the way she thinks it "should" be, worrying a lot about little things, and general emotional outbursts/moodiness. The play therapist (and other specialists we have consulted) thinks she needs something beyond what we've been doing, and needs to be evaluated by a specialist.
  
  Due to a cancellation (and an answer to prayer!), AJ has an appointment with a specialist today. Originally the appt had been scheduled for the end of Sept, and the dr's secretary told me they are now scheduled out to the end of Oct, so it's pretty amazing that we were able to get in so quickly. I am not sure what kind of testing and/or evaluations he will do, but hopefully he will be able to figure out what's going on with AJ and what types of responses and methods would be most helpful for us to use as we interact with her. Mainly, we'd just like to see her be happier and less frustrated with life.
  
  She's rather excited about the appointment. I explained to her that it was a special kind of doctor who helps kids figure out how their brains work (because everyone's brain works differently) and that he would hopefully be able to help her (and us) figure out how to work best with her brain to help manage her emotions and actions better.


• Otherwise, we're all doing well. DH is working and thankful for a good job with great job security, we're involved with church activities and friends, I still struggle with health issues but the Lord is faithful to sustain me, we're again (still) trying to get our house decluttered and organized, the cleaner is still coming every 3 weeks or so, Mira is doing very well with her training, NLASS the college student is still living with us (and we're still finding it a blessing for us and for her), and we're enjoying our pets and other activities.


• Ebee still has no signs of food allergies, though she still has mild reflux and aspiration issues and we still have to be careful about feeding her too much fruit or sugar because of her sensitive stomach and frequent diarrhea.
  
  Now that we know (thanks to the research study I was in) that excititoxins are a big factor for my IBS, FMS and CFS symptoms, as well as the neurological and migraine symptoms, we're trying to avoid those as much as possible for the whole family. Those particular ingredients aren't particularly healthy or necessary to be eating, anyway. Who needs MSG? So that's brought us back to a bit healthier (though still much less restrictive than before) diet. We had gotten in the habit of eating more junk and convenience food again once we didn't have to worry so much about allergens, so this is a healthy move for us.
  
  Interestingly enough, I noticed in looking back over the notes I took on Ebee's symptoms, that some of her "unexplained" diarrhea and stomach issues may have also correlated with excitotoxin ingestion (though I didn't know many of the hidden sources of it at the time). It would certainly explain why Ebee and I (and the other kids to some extent, too) got so sick the week we were eating a lot of bread made with modified tapioca starch, for example. So that's something I'll be keeping an eye on to see if it has any effect on her still-frequent bowel issues. We know that MSG and other excitotoxins also affect the health issues in my extended family, so it's definitely something to at least keep an eye on if not completely avoid.
  
  M&M's legs seem to hurt less when she wears shoes with good arch support for her flat feet, and we all generally enjoy one another's company. The girls all have appointments with the pediatrician next week, but they're just routine checkups.
  
  We will have to decide what vaccinations, if any, we're going to do for Ebee now that she no longer has allergies to corn and soy derivatives, which are in all the vaccines. I still have concerns about some of the other ingredients (like MSG and aborted fetal tissue, among many others) in some of them, and some just simply aren't really necessary at her age, so it will be something we discuss with the pediatrician.


• Oh, and the older girls have learned how to play Dutch Blitz, which is a riot. M&M is particularly good at it and begs to play it often. And the whole family, including Ebee, enjoys playing Carcassonne together.

Long time no post

Apparently I haven't been doing very well at keeping up with my blog lately. I've been really busy with homeschooling, parenting, housework, birthday parties and family/church gatherings, the dog, and the rabbits. Oh, and Facebook. I do update that slightly more often.

We had an opportunity to get a small group of pedigreed Satin rabbits from a show breeder who was quitting, so we now have Satin rabbits. And, we got a trio of mini satin rabbits for the kids to use as their 4-H projects. We still have Gingersnap and Snowflake, but all but one of the mixed-breed meat rabbits have found new homes or have gone into the freezer.

The two older girls and I are planning to take a few of the rabbits to a show a couple of hours north the weekend after next. Ebee will stay here with DH. The weekend after that, I'll be going by myself to a show on the coast where they'll be having a Satin specialty show and I can hopefully learn a lot about the breed and find out how good or not-good our rabbits really are. :) I'm not sure yet if I'll be trying to find a place to stay, or just sleeping in my van that weekend.

Among the Satin rabbits we got was a litter of 4-week-old babies (6 weeks old now). The kids have been enjoying those immensely. They are also very excited about the idea of getting some of the other rabbits ready for the show, and showing them.

AJ turned 8 on Monday. Wow. My little girl is growing up so fast. It seems these years are spinning by faster than I can hold onto them. We had a fun party on Saturday, where the primary party game was playing with bunnies. :)



Tomorrow Mira is getting spayed, and Saturday if I am well enough by then, I have a dog-owner training session.

Right now I have a lovely virus that's been going around. DH and Ebee got it first, and now I have it. AJ and M&M were mildly ill but seem to have fought it off so far for the most part.

And now, I'm signing off and going back to bed!

Wordless Wednesday 04 Feb 2009--Weddingness

(If you know me IRL, the photos that show our faces clearly are up on my Facebook album.)

Update

Today I'm going in to the doctor to get my neck/head pain checked out. I've had a really localized pain in the back of my head between my skull and neck for about a month now, and it's getting worse. Getting my eyes and teeth checked and prescriptions updated, etc. didn't seem to help, so I'm going to have them check and make sure it's not something like a disk problem in my neck or something actually wrong with my head.

I expect it's probably just a bad muscle spasm or ratiating TMJ pain, but it's unusual for me to have really localized pain that lasts so long like this. Usually it moves around more and is more generalized.

Despite the fact that my pain levels have been hovering between about a 6 or 7 for the last several weeks, things are going amazingly well here.

I've been having much less trouble with the dizziness, weakness, and foggy "out of it" feeling lately, and have even been able to start driving again. I only need the cane when I'm going to be doing a lot of walking or standing around now, too.

Things are going very smoothly with homeschooling now that we've adjusted to our new schedule. Between help from various people and the old family friend who is coming in to help out twice a week, things have become much more manageable. We're all feeling a lot less stressed out and are enjoying our home, family and friends. Finally, we're starting to feel like we're getting out of "survival mode" and really enjoying life again.

Mira's training is going incredibly well, too. She's even been able to go with us to restaurants and behave herself very well. We're applying to an owner-trained service dog program that will help to train and certify us as a team.

Overall, life is really good right now.

Diagnosis: Sisters

(Me, SisJ, and Sparrow, with Dad in the background--photo taken by Mom)

My little sister Sparrow was diagnosed with fibromyalgia yesterday. I really feel for her as she's sorting through the mixed feelings that come with a diagnosis like that.

That makes three out of the three of us who have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (Sparrow), chronic fatigue syndrome (SisJ), or both (me). Add Mom with her hereditary kidney failure (and subsequent transplant), and we make quite the family of spoonies. At least Dad is relatively healthy. And there's something of a silver lining in all of us being able to really understand and support each other as we deal with chronic health issues.

It's a good thing I married a man from a very healthy family. Hopefully his good health genes will come out strong in the kids. :)

Fun at the park, a baby, and a rash

It's been a fun couple of days. Last night I went wedding dress shopping with Dr. AB and we found "the one." It is rather unique and special, and it looks lovely on her. I got to meet Dr. A's future SIL also, which was fun.

We went back to Dr. A's place after our shopping trip to eat and hang out. She lives on a hill, and there's not enough parking near her condo, so as usual I ended up having to park clear down at the bottom of the hill near the entrance to the complex.

I was really encouraged, because I walked all the way from my car to her apartment with no trouble and wasn't even much winded when I got there. Last time I was there I had a really hard time making it up the hill and had to stop 3 or 4 times to rest and then was completely tired and out of breath when I finally made it. It's really encouraging to see a tangible sign of progress like that. Without those measurable signs of progress it just seems like it's still taking forever to get fully recovered from having had mono.

Ebee was feeling significantly better by Friday, and today she seemed perfectly healthy and energetic. So we went to the picnic to celebrate the birth of our newest niece (DH's sister's child). That was a lot of fun. Little SR is adorable, and we had fun playing games and watching all the cousins enjoy the park, the lake and each other's company.





Here's a photo of SR and her mother--aren't they lovely?




In the afternoon, though, I noticed that Ebee had some sort of funny-looking spots on her torso and upper arms--oh, and on her face too. They looked sort of similar to the rashes she used to get with her allergies. I figured it was probably a heat rash, irritation from the sunscreen, or something like that. But since my SIL is an experienced mother, I asked her what she thought of it.

I was really surprised when she looked at it and said, "Oh, that looks like Rubella (or German Measles). When my child had it . . . " and started detailing symptoms and a progression of illness that pretty much exactly fit with what Ebee had this week.



When I talked to Dr. A, she said it certainly sounded like a possibility. So we'll call Ebee's pediatrician tomorrow and see if they want to run titers or anything. Since Rubella is contagious from about a week before the fever starts until 4 days after the rash is gone, we've probably exposed some people. :-(

It's not a serious disease except for unborn babies . . . there is a risk to the baby if a mother comes down with it during pregnancy. I am a little concerned since we were with my friend JT who is pregnant, and another friend who is TTC this week. I'm guessing, though, that they probably all had their MMRs as kids and are most likely immune.

We're definitely staying home from church in the morning, though. We don't want to be exposing everyone there.

9 years ago today

I signed my life away.



And I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.



My Beloved, I'm so incredibly blessed to be married to you. I love you.

Summer Smiles

We've had some great things to smile about this week. First, our newest niece was born (to Musical Family from Overseas).



Isn't she adorable?

We've had several births, a wedding, and lots of great family get-togethers this summer.

Also, my friend Dr. A is getting married. Hooray! I'm also excited that I get to be in the wedding. I've been cake cutter, punch server, gift attendant, etc. many times, but this will be my first time actually being in the wedding party in a wedding other than my own. I'm the matron of honor, and I'm so . . . well . . . honored. :) M&M is going to be the flower girl and AJ will be doing something, too; possibly being the guest book attendant.

One of our neighbors is having a garage sale and offered to let us put some things out to sell, too. It's such a blessing to me because I have some things I wanted to take to consign, and just haven't had the energy. I definitely wouldn't have the energy to run a garage sale myself right now, so being able to put some things over at the neighbor's sale is great. I took over our old crib and about 3 big bags of clothes, and a few miscellaneous other things. It's so nice to be able to get those out of the house.

After taking things over to the sale yesterday, though, I was exhausted. Thankfully my friend Morning was understanding when she came to visit. After she left, I ended up spending much of the afternoon lying on the couch. At least from there I was able to supervise the kids and direct them in picking up their things and getting ready for their end-of-VBS performance that evening. DH brought take-out Chinese food home for dinner. Thanks so much, Honey!

The performance was very cute, and they did a great job. It was especially nice that my dad and sisters and Dr. A were able to come see the kids' little program. That means so much to them. My mom can't go to things like that because of her compromised immune system (kidney transplant), but sent her love.

Tomorrow we have the family reunion for my mom's family. That will be nice . . . I'm really hoping I'll have enough energy to get through the weekend. Right now I'm completely out of spoons.

Recent Kid Sayings

Ebee: "Mommy, tan we take Baby Ben* home to ouw house and teep hew fowevew? Pweese? I weawwy love hew. I want hew to tome home wif us and be ouw own baby. Pweese, Aunt [Artistic SIL]? Tan we take Baby Ben home wif us and teep hew?"

*No, my niece is not really named Baby Ben, but that's what Ebee calls her.

M&M (Emerging from the bathroom at MIL's house, which has a well-stocked bookshelf in front of the toilet): "Mom, what should I expect when I'm expecting?"

AJ: "Mom, who's Arthur Unknown? But who IS he? Does anyone even know Arthur Unknown's phone number?"

As a Family Grows

June 2008:






June 2007:



And to go farther back . . .

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June 2006:



June 2005:



June 2004:



Summer 2003:



June 2002:



July 2001:

Priceless Memories

We got home last night. We're tired, but happy. I'm feeling a little better after a long sleep last night.

Here are a couple more pictures my mom took of me and the girls playing in the water.





I'll try to do a little less running and jumping next time (I think that was what made the tendonitis in my ankle act up so badly), but it was worth being a little tired and sore to create these kinds of memories with my kids and family.

Wave Jumping

AJ: "I didn't know Mommy could be this energetic."

M&M: "Yeah, I've never seen her have this much energy before."

I'm paying for it today, but boy did we have fun.

AJ and AJ

Like mother, like daughter . . .