Lots of Little Wheels Turning in this Brain

A few of Baby E's most frequent and/or cute sayings these days:

"Hi there. Hi, Daddy!" (Or her rendition of another name--she says a lot of people's names now.)

"Where'd it go?"

"I dot it."

"What dat?"

"Ha-ter. Dat's Puff!" (Hamster. That's Puff.)

"Who dat? Dat's Zizuh!"

"No no no! Down!"

"Oh, yeah!"

"Potty. Poop inna potty. Ah dun! Yay!"

[Pointing to mine, then her own]: "Nose. Nose. Mouf. Mouf. Cheet. Cheet. Eye! Eye-yassis! Ehbow. Haih. Han."

Baby E is seeming less and less like a baby every day.

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Today was her first day using the potty almost exclusively. She has been throwing tantrums if we try to put a diaper on her when she needs to use the potty, so I finally just put a potty chair near the changing table and have been sitting her on it during each diaper change. Today she used it almost every time she sat on it. She did have a few wet diapers and one partial accident, but she did all her bowel movements in the potty. She didn't have a single dirty diaper today. That's exciting, and it makes the diaper laundering job more pleasant. :)

E is not particularly interested in walking, although she can take several steps without falling and could probably walk any time if she really wanted to. The one time she really wants to try walking is when she is carrying a large object to put somewhere or give to someone. Otherwise, she'd rather crawl or cruise around holding onto furniture.

She loves manipulating objects, and one of her favorite things to do right now is take things out of the cupboard and then put them all away again.

Baby E is climbing on everything these days. We have to be careful not to leave a dining room chair where she can get to it, because she will climb into it and then fall off and hit her head, only to get right up on it again. If she's in the playroom she wants to climb the slide and then turn around and slide down. She stacks and moves things to climb onto higher objects.

Honestly, sometimes I find this child a bit frightening. She's just a little too smart. I often wonder what she's going to be like when she's a little older. What 12-month-old who's not even walking yet pulls the potty chair over to climb up on the couch to get a book, and then when an adult says, "Hey! What are you doing, E? That's not for you," she looks guilty, puts it back and climbs down?

Tonight she wanted the remote control. DH put it on the coffee table and she demanded to get "up" and then "Daddy kiss" and gave him a big sloppy kiss. Once he was distracted, she tried to make a surreptitious grab for the remote. He said, "No, you can't have that" and she pulled her hand away and backed off. Then he leaned forward and she crawled behind his back, looking to see if he was watching as she inched toward the remote. He said, "No, E," and she looked at him like, "How did you know, Daddy?!" and backed away from it.

Later, he was working on a crossword puzzle. She watched him for a while, then started into a protracted battle to get the pen and paper. Finally DH decided to give her a turn. She held them and moved the pen on the paper for all the world like she was writing, copying DH's look of concentration. She loves to draw and color, whether on paper or on the magnadoodle.

E understands the spoken word so well. If I say, "Bring me the ball" she will. If I say, "Don't touch that, please. You can't have that pen," she throws herself on the floor and howls as if I've hurt her.

She uses the word "that" for things away from her and "this" for things in her hand or very close to her. She combines various words and hand signs to make phrases and sentences with suprisingly good syntax, though her pronunciation often obscures the meaning. She whispers when we do, tries to repeat much of what we say, and claps when she hears anyone say "good job."

We haven't made much of an effort to specifically teach her to respond to the word "no" and we haven't disciplined her or imposed consequences much if at all. So far we've just picked her up to move her away from things or moved them out of her reach if she wouldn't leave them alone. But somehow in the last week or two she's reached a point where she usually leaves things alone or puts them down if we say no. She may throw a tantrum about it, but she generally respects our "no" even if she's upset about it. I remember it being such hard work teaching that concept to babies this age in the past, but she just seems to have absorbed it.

It's not that Baby E is a particularly compliant personality--she is extremely opinionated, stubborn and persistent, and can get very loud and even violent when she's angry. She just really understands and respects the spoken word.

I'm no expert, and I'm sure I'm extremely biased, but I think she's unusually proficient for her age in both her understanding and her use of language. I find myself wondering if she'll be a writer or take some kind of speaking or drama role when she grows up. Whatever she ends up doing, I'm sure her appreciation for and command of language will be helpful to her throughout her life.

Eggless Banana Bread

The girls and I made banana bread today. AJ and M&M did most of it themselves, while I helped and Baby E watched from the high chair.

The recipe is from a 1970's Sesame Street Library book, Volume 14.

Big Bird's Banana Bread

Here is what you will need:
3 peeled ripe bananas
3/4 cup honey
1/4 cup melted butter
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 big bowl
1 big wooden spoon
1 fork
1 bread pan (rub some cooking oil around the inside of it)
1 wire cooling rack
1 measuring cup
1 set of measuring of spoons

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Here's what you need a grown up to do:

1. Turn the oven on to 350 degrees.

2. Melt 1/4 cup of butter in a pan.

Here's what you do:

1. Put the peeled bananas in a bowl.

2. Mash up the bananas with the back of a fork.

3. Add the melted butter.

4. Add 1/2 teaspoon baking soda, 1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour, 3/4 cup honey.

5. Stir everything in the bowl with the big spoon. Stir until everything is mixed together.

6. Pour the mix into the oiled bread pan.

7. Bake for 1 hour.

8. After 1 hour, put a toothpick in the bread. Is there some bread on the toothpick when you pull it out? If there is, let the bread cook for a little while longer. If there is no bread on the toothpick when you pull it out, the bread is done! Ask your grown up helper to take the bread out of the oven. They need to take the bread out of the pan and put it on the wire rack.

10. When the bread is cool, cut it up and share it with your neighbors!

The bread is dense, very sweet and a little gooey. It holds together quite well even without eggs, because the bananas and the honey are so sticky.

We used my homemade corn-free baking powder, of course. Since it's a single-acting baking powder, we mixed together the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients separately and then stirred them together just before pouring the batter into the pan. I used a silicone bread pan, which turned out a beautiful loaf with no need to grease the pan.

The honey we used was orange blossom honey, which gave it a very nice and slightly fruity flavor (and also cuts down on the chances of their being any corn pollen or nectar in the honey). If you substituted oil for the butter, it could be a completely vegan recipe, and other types of flour could easily be sustituted to make it gluten-free.

The girls absolutely loved it, and M&M literally cried when it was gone. We shared a few slices with the neighbors and ate up the rest within minutes.

Baby E was napping, so I let the girls take a few slices over to our neighbors all by themselves. They were so cute, carrying the saran-wrapped paper plate together as they walked.

Their friend J's daddy opened the door, and they held the plate out to him, saying, "We brought you some (there was a Splat! as the bread slid off the plate) banana bread."

They all stared down at the banana bread slices on the neighbor's front porch. The neighbor, Tulip Grower Guy, said, "That's okay," and helped them pick the bread up.

I sent the girls back over with a few more slices to make up for the dropped bread. This time I put them in a container with a lid, and they arrived safely.

Now the girls want to go buy more bananas so we can make more bread.

No-Corn Blog

You may or may not have noticed a new link under the category "other blogs I contribute to" in my blogroll.

News for Corn Avoiders is a place for people dealing with corn allergies or intolerances to learn and share information about corn avoidance. We're building quite a collection of interesting and helpful information already, as well as links to other helpful resources.

Java Exception

Blogger must have been acting up tonight. I kept trying to post and getting a message saying "001 java.io.IOException: No space left on deviceblog/" A quick search verified that it was a bug and not actually a problem with space in my archives.

After I posted a comment on another blog and then logged in again on my own blog, several of the posts I thought I'd lost and then rewritten posted all at once. For a little while they were showing up under the "edit posts" link but not on the blog itself, and then they all posted.

It seems to be working fine now, so I thought I'd post about it in case anyone else is having the same issue.

Baby Stores

Last night's party was a lot of fun . . . we saw quite a few people I knew from college and hadn't seen in years, as well as people we've kept in touch with like JT and her family.

I was feeling pretty miserable after my chiropractor appointment earlier in the day, but (as my mom predicted) the adrenaline kicked in once we arrived and I was able to enjoy myself anyway. I really enjoyed renewing acquaintances, hearing what people have been doing over the last 7 years, and finding out that some of us really have a lot in common. The girls had fun playing with other kids, and DH got to chat with the few people he knew and make some new acquaintances.

It was great to hear about what my cousin and his wife have been doing in China and what they have planned for the future. Very interesting and exciting stuff. They're expecting their first baby this winter, too, which is wonderful news.

Speaking of expecting babies, Baby E and I got to spend the afternoon with miraclebaby today. DH took the older girls out with him, and Baby E and I went to miraclebaby's house. We talked about cloth diapers, played with Goatee the kitten, and went shopping.

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The funniest thing was that Baby E was terrified of the kitten. She loved the little dog at the party last night, and she adores our hamster Puff. But this kitten (who is not much larger than Puff, and very cute) for some reason scared her. She kept screeching and wanting me to hold her. She'd reach out toward the kitten like she wanted to touch him, but then she'd try to push him away instead.

At one point she was starting to warm up toward him a bit, but then he jumped up on the couch next to her and caught her just slightly with his claws, and that was the end of that. I was hoping we'd get some cute photos of Baby E and Goatee together to post on the blogs, but that wasn't going to happen. Miraclebaby's husband had to hold Baby E and keep the kitten at bay while I showed her the various diapers I'd brought along.

Goatee is very cute and friendly, though, and very curious. He kept trying to climb into my diaper bag and play with the diapers.

I was able to verify that, even though I didn't think I was allergic to cats, the allergy testing was apparently accurate in that respect. I didn't have a runny nose or sinus congestion at all before I went into the house, but within minutes there it was. The longer I stayed near the cat the worse it got, along with itchy eyes and all those lovely classic allergy symptoms. I guess it's a really good thing we didn't get the cat we almost took in a few months ago.

It had been a long time since I'd gone shopping with a girlfriend, and I really had a good time with miraclebaby. We went to two different stores and ended up buying a Graco TurboBooster on sale to keep in DH's car (purportedly for M&M, but we want to keep her in the 5-point harness as much longer as we can), and a new stroller for Baby E. E is getting a bit too heavy for me to carry for long periods in the rebozo or SPOC wrap, so I decided it ws time to get a stroller for things like walks and trips to the zoo.

I put a lot of research and thought into the strollers I had when my first two kids were younger, and used them a lot, but with Baby E we've both been so happy with a sling or wrap that there hasn't been much point in having a stroller. The Evenflo stroller I'd used with the older girls had started breaking down after a year or two, so it's been long gone.

I did have a cheap umbrella stroller I used on occasion for Baby E, but it was difficult to maneuver in the first place, and then I backed over it with the van and bent it beyond use during a trip to the zoo. The other two strollers I'd picked up at garage sales were functional in a way, but both had broken parts that made them not work very well.

I'll be donating the two garage sale strollers and trashing the older umbrella stroller a friend gave me recently, which is now operating on only three wheels. After selling the tandem Aprica stroller, that will leave me with just the new stroller and my side-by-side double--down from about 8 strollers I had floating around in the garage at one time. DH will be happy to not be tripping over all those strollers in the future. :)

I've been reading reviews and researching strollers off and on for a few months, and was finally ready to make my purchase today. I'd narrowed it down to 4 or 5 options and wanted to put Baby E in the various strollers to see how she fit and how they were to push.

After trying different strollers, miraclebaby and I found the one I wanted to buy. The best combination of price, features and quality seemed to be the Italian-designed Chicco Capri--similar to the Chicco Caddy but with a solid seat and nicer canopy. I think it's a special Babies R Us version of the Chicco C5 or C6 sold in other stores, but I'm not sure.

It has a 5-point harness with padded straps, nice padding in the seat, larger all-terrain wheels, and ergonomic umbrella-style handles. The basket doesn't hold much at all, but the stroller is balanced and sturdy enough that I can hang the diaper bag and quite a bit more from the handles without causing it to tip.

It weighs only 11 lbs and folds up easily to a fairly small size, but it's large enough for my 5-year-old with room to spare. It's sturdy and seems durable. Best of all, it's designed so that it's easy to push and steer with one hand, and turns smoothly on a dime with a flick of the wrist. The recline isn't ideal--it reclines only slightly, by unzipping the sides of the seat--but I think it will be adequate.

I decided I'd rather buy a higher-quality stroller with fewer features than go for one of the plasticky poorer-quality models with more bells and whistles, or pay 2 to 3 times the amount for one of the higher-end strollers of similar or better quality. A Chicco is going to last a lot longer than a Graco or Safety-First type of stroller, and, although not quite as maneuverable and high-quality as something like a Maclaren, it's much nicer than many of the more popular brands and is quite a good stroller for the price.

It doesn't have features like the adjustable handles or ultimate one-hand recline like my beloved Kidco Double Maverick Plus (which I bought at a huge markdown when my older two girls were young). But the Chicco costs about half or a third of what I'd spend for the simplest similarly-designed umbrella stroller from Kidco/Bebecar, Inglesina or MacLaren without sacrificing too much in quality.

Now the real challenge will be to see if Baby E will be willing to settle for the stroller instead of the sling.

I'm feeling slightly better today than I've been feeling, so I'm hoping my body is starting to get used to the chiropractic adjustments and I'll be a little more functional this coming week. Yesterday I was so tempted to just go ahead and take an Advil or something for the pain, but I managed to get through without it. Baby E has been fussy the last few days and seems to be cutting a new tooth, so I'm glad I didn't make her feel worse by taking something with corn or soy in it for myself.

Baby E has been grouchy and hasn't been napping well the last few days, but she's still waking only once if at all at night as long as she doesn't eat anything allergenic. Sleep is certainly a wonderful thing.

I'm still here . . .

I've had my first two chiropractic appointments. I'm glad to be going, but I've been pretty sore and tired the last few days. My theory is that the combination of the adjustments and the allergies is what's knocking me out at the moment. I don't really know. Hopefully it will improve soon.

The girls and I made granola yesterday, and last night Sis J came over one last time before leaving for college again. We'll miss her. Tonight we have a gathering for my cousin and his wife who are home from China for a brief time, and a bunch of people I know from college. That should be a lot of fun.

My brain is like a sieve right now . . . sorry I don't have anything particularly interesting to post. I'm going to lie down for a few minutes while the kids have naps/quiet time.

Savory Spaghetti Squash

This is the recipe that did the impossible: it appealed to the entire family.

Even the family members who dislike squash (Baby E), absolutely detest every kind of squash in any form, including zucchini (DH), and have been declaring every meal including old favorites "yucky" all week (M&M) liked it well enough to ask for seconds and thirds and request that I make it again soon.

It's by far the best spaghetti squash recipe we've ever tried.

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I'd counted on the batch making two meals, assuming several of the family wouldn't eat much of it. Even with lots of sides like veggies and salad, one half really wasn't enough for our family of five for one meal.

However, today at lunch I decided to thaw out and heat up the other half of it for lunch. Storage and microwaving intensified the flavors significantly (making it more spicy) and made the texture less appealing, so nobody liked it nearly as well today. Next time, I'll just serve the whole batch immediately after making it. If I am making it to freeze, I'll put in less garlic and sausage than I did this time and reheat in the oven instead of the microwave next time.

Savory Spaghetti Squash
from Casseroles: Meals in Minutes by Sue Gregg (Eating Better Cookbooks)

Amount: 6 to 8 servings (freeze in 2 shell halves)

1. To cook squash, halve a medium spaghetti squash, remove seeds, place half the squash cut side up in shallow dish, add 1/4 cup water, cover lightly with plastic wrap and microwave for 7-8 minutes; repeat with second half (or boil whole, covered with water 20 to 30 minutes, or bake at 400 degrees about 1 hour, halve and remove seeds). Cool a little. --I baked the whole uncut squash ahead of time at 350 for something over an hour until it was tender, turning occasionally so it baked evenly. Then I just pulled it out of the refrigerator and took out the seeds and strings with my hands when preparing the recipe.

2. Hold each squash half with pot holder and run a fork around sides of cooked squash and pull out the spaghetti strings into a large mixing bowl; reserve the shells.

3. Saute vegetables in melted butter briefly and combine with remaining ingredients and spaghetti squash strings:

3 tablespoons melted butter
1 large carrot, grated
2 small or 1 medium zucchini, unpeeled and grated (I peeled mine)
2 stalks celery, diced
Yaki Tori Tofu, drained (don't worry if tofu cubes break up while combining ingredients)--I substituted Italian sausage
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder (I used about a teaspoon of minced garlic, but would use less if not serving immediately)
1/4 teaspoon pepper

4. Pile mixture into squash shell halves. Cover securely with plastic wrap, then foil. Cool and freeze.

5. To thaw and reheat, see pp 12-13. (I baked the first half for 20-30 minutes at 350 the day I made it, and we ate it right away. The frozen half I defrosted in the microwave and then heated on full power for 15 minutes, stirring after 10 minutes. I would recommend defrosting it and then perhaps heating it in the oven for 20-30 minutes.)

6. Just before serving top each spaghetti squash half with noodles and fold in:
1 cup chow mein noodles per half (optional)--I left this out.


Yaki Tori Tofu
(I did not try this recipe; I used Italian sausage in the squash recipe. But I'll include it for those who want a vegetarian dish. You could probably marinate chicken in this mixture instead of the tofu, too.)

Drain block of tofu on a plate between paper towels for at least 30 minutes; cut into small cubes and marinate overnight or several hours in combined remaining ingredients:

16 oz. box tofu, regular or firm
1/2 cup soy sauce
3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons honey or crystalline fructose
1 teaspoon ginger
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder

Just some random rambling again . . .

After the girls finished their chores yesterday morning, they helped me unload the dishwasher and I paid them.

They were so excited to count out their money (AJ practiced counting by tens with the four dimes) and "buy" the container of baby food. Just for the record, it was a fairly large container of prunes and apples, not something yucky. :)

I divided it up for them in two empty baby food jars and gave them baby spoons to eat it with. They kept saying things like, "Mmmm, mmm, this is so yummy. I like this baby food." with every bite. They seemed to think it was well worth the cost.

M&M, in particular, has decided that baby food is her favorite thing to eat and asks for it constantly. That's why I felt a need to impose some sort of natural limit on it.

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I did get to see my chiropractor yesterday, finally, and will be going in twice a week for the foreseeable future. She seemed surprised at how badly my back and neck, but especially the rib, was out, and kept saying "Oh, my, look at that. Ouch. No wonder you're hurting!" It's nice to finally be getting treatment for it that should help, even though it makes me more sore in the short-term.

A few days ago I called to ask my doctor about getting something I can actually take for my back pain, just to get me through those first few chiropractic treaments while it gets worse before it gets better.

They eventually said they'd have to see me again (for the same thing I've seen him several times for already, with the same recommendation that I just take more Advil as a result each time, entailing yet another office visit and doctor bill) before he could recommend or prescribe anything. By then I'll be past the current need for it, anyway.

But in the process I got my first actual recommendation from a doctor (okay, actually from the advice nurse who had just talked to the doctor) that I consider weaning Baby E. Because, you know, it's just so much work for the nurse to ask my primary care doctor to suggest a pain reliever that doesn't contain corn or soy, or to simply write a prescription for Ibuprofen so I could take it to a compounding pharmacy myself to have something made allergen-free.

It would be so much easier for them if I would just go ahead and wean my child. Grrr. The AAP recommends breastfeeding until the baby is at least a year old, but preferably until age two, so I was suprised that a doctor would recommend weaning a barely-1-year-old for a minor reason.

I've never nursed a baby past a year before, so I'm treading what is (for me) uncharted territory, and running into new challenges with nursing. But I want to nurse Baby E as long as possible--mainly because of her allergies, not just in spite of them. It's worth the sacrifices to me. I can be sure it's allergen-free excellent nutrition, she likes it, and according to studies breastfeeding can lower a child's tendency toward allergies. I'm not about to wean her for my doctor's convenience.

/End rant. :)

Our van is in the shop getting a bumper replacement. The best part is that we get to drive a lovely new Jeep Grand Cherokee rental paid for by the at-fault driver's insurance, and it's so much fun to drive and ride in. I especially like the feature of having doors on both sides--it makes putting kids in and out of the vehicle so much easier.

I've got batches of beef, chicken and vegetable broth condensed and chilled now, and am working on freezing them into cubes to use as bullion. We're up to 7 main dishes as well as quite a number of other meal components in the freezer now.

So far, every meal I've made has been well-liked by my family even though they've all been new recipes--quite a feat, considering that my usual success rate with trying new recipes is somewhere in the 25-40% range. The most amazing happening was that I even managed to find a spaghetti squash recipe that everyone--including the avid squash-haters in the family--really liked. I'll post that later today.

Right now we're all doing morning chores, and then we get to go shopping in the rental SUV. We're enjoying each other, still getting more sleep, and getting some important things accomplished.

Baby E just fell asleep for a late-morning nap, so I'll get to take a shower. I'm going to try waking her up after an hour or so because yesterday she took a 3-hour nap at 11 a.m. and then thought bedtime was a second nap. I've tried cutting her down to just one nap, but she really seems to still need that second nap. Hopefully with a shorter morning nap and an earlier afternoon nap she'll be ready for bed by 9 again.

AJ expounds upon Puffins

AJ was sitting at the kitchen table, excitedly telling me random facts about Puffins she'd learned from reading the back of the breakfast cereal box. I was amazed at the amount of detail she had memorized, especially since she was reeling it all off without the box anywhere in sight.

I had a bit harder time getting her to say it to Blogger, though.

Unfortunately, the audioblog missed the part where I asked AJ, "What do puffins eat?" and she replied "I don't know" only to have M&M pipe up, "They eat fish!"

Day-to-Day Lessons

M&M: "Mommy, can I have baby food for bweakfast? Please? Please? I weally like baby food."

"You may have the same thing for breakfast that Baby E is having."

"Oh! What's Baby E having?"

"A banana and 7-grain puffed Kashi cereal."

[Baby E: "Nana! Nana! Iya dat! Nana! Eee? Nana!"]

"I aweady had that. I want to eat baby food. Look, hewe's some wight hewe in the pantwy. Can I have this containew of baby food? Please? I weally want it."

"M&M, that baby food is very expensive. It costs 44 pennies for that little container."

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"Oh. I bet I have 44 pennies."

"If you do, I'll let you buy the baby food. If you can find 44 pennies that are yours to give, you can give them to me to pay for the baby food. Then you can eat it."

"Okay! I'll go get my pennies."

"Do you know how many 44 is?"

"No."

"If you count out ten pennies 4 times and then add 4 more pennies to that, then you'll have 44."

I was pretty sure she didn't have anywhere close to 44 pennies, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to teach the value of money and how much things cost.

M&M went upstairs and came down. "I only have 5 pennies, Mommy." Two of them were dimes and one was a quarter.

"Oh, you do have quite a few pennies there. This one is worth 25 pennies. Where did it come from?"

"I found it on the staiws, on the bottom step."

"Oh. If it was on the step, it probably belongs to one of the kids who was here last night. That one's not yours to use, then. You don't want to steal somebody else's money, do you?" She shook her head.

"Right; so you can't spend that one. Let's set that aside and we can ask the other kids later if one of them lost it."

"Okay. Now I won't have enough money, will I?"

"Well, you have two dimes here. Each of those is worth ten pennies. So how many is ten plus ten?"

"I don't know."

"Let's count on our fingers. You have ten fingers, so if you use them all twice that will be two tens."

She counted: "Twenty!"

"Good. Now, each of these pennies is worth one, so count two more."

"Twenty-one, twenty-two. I have 22 pennies!"

"Good! That's half of what you need. You need this much money, and then this much more again to pay for the baby food. So you need to find another quarter, like this, and that would be one more penny than you need. Or two more dimes and two more pennies would be the right amount."

"Oh. But I don't have any moah pennies. How can I get that much moah money?"

"You can save the pennies you earn, and when you earn enough you can buy the baby food and eat it."

"Oh. Can AJ buy some baby food to eat, too?"

"Yes, if she has enough pennies she can buy some baby food to eat too, if she wants to."

"AJ, Mommy says you can eat some baby food if you pay for it."

"Oh, great!"

"How many pennies do you have? You need fouwty-fouw pennies to buy this baby food."

"I only have two dimes."

"Oh. You don't have enough eithew."

"I'll tell you what you can do, girls. If you put your money together, then you have almost enough. You'd only need two more pennies. If you both want to, and you agree, then you can put your money together and share the baby food. I can give you a chore so you can each earn another penny this morning if you want to."

"We want to! We want to!"

"Okay, great! You can unload the dishwasher for me. But before you can do extra chores to earn money, first you have to finish the normal chores on your charts."

"Okay! Let's hurry and do our chores!"

"Yeah, let's huwwy!"

They went running excitedly to do their chores, leaving me to notice that we'd covered honesty, math, work ethics and the value of money, all in one little impromptu conversation.

A Sense of Accomplishment

We've had a very busy weekend here.

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On Saturday I went to miraclebaby's baby shower, then went shopping for some kitchen supplies we needed.

I found a great set of stainless steel cookware at Tuesday Morning. It was marked down to $30 for a 10-piece set (3 pots with lids, 2 pans and a couple of utensils), and it seems like really nice quality cookware--18/10 stainless steel with aluminum core bases and oven-proof handles. If you need stainless steel cookware, you might want to check out the Tuesday Morning store--they have a lot of cookware right now of all different types, including non-stick, stainless steel and cast iron. I also bought a 15-quart stainless steel stock pot, which was perfect for my weekend project.

It's going to be so nice not to worry about chipping glass or flaking non-stick coating when I cook now. The mirror finish means that most food doesn't seem to stick to the cookware anyway, and so far it seems that it cooks a variety of different foods evenly without much tendency to burn things, as long as there's enough liquid in the dish. I couldn't figure out how to fry hash in the frying pan without getting a burned crust on the bottom of the pan this morning.

After I came home and fed Baby E yesterday, I went out again to a local butcher shop. I'd called ahead and verified that their meat is hormone-free and is not treated with anything. They have local farm-grown meats which they prepare from start to finish themselves. Even the sausage and bacon they make there on the spot--and they have sausage and bacon we can eat, with no preservatives or other weird ingredients added. I bought whole chickens, 10 lbs. of beef soup bones, a big rolled roast, ground veal, Italian sausage and bacon.

The young lady who worked there was extremely helpful, looking up ingredients and asking questions for me cheerfully. She cut my soup bones into pieces for me, too, so the flavor and calcium would be more available for the broth.

That night I started the beef broth, the roast and the two chickens slow-cooking in crock pots and the stock pot. I started another batch of chicken the next morning after pulling the meat off the bones of the first batch and starting them simmering to make a rich broth. Following a suggestion in a book my mom gave me, I added a few tablespoons of apple cider vinegar to draw the calcium out of the bones, and roasted the beef bones in the oven to get a more toasty rich flavor halfway through the process. That seems to be making a really nice rich broth.

Yesterday I finished planning out menus for 30 meals, and bought the supplies I needed. After church JT and her family came over and the men watched the kids and visited while we washed and peeled pound after pound of vegetables and ran them through the food processor to chop, slice or dice them. The processor isn't worth using for one meal, but for doing that many veggies at once it was perfect. It saved us a lot of time.

Even using the food processor we worked hard all afternoon and didn't quite finish all the vegetables. We got most of them done, though, and it will be much less overwhelming for me to finish them and put the meals together over the next few days.

I don't know how people do all 30 meals for once-a-month-cooking all in one day. I'm just going to do as much as I can over the next few days. Even if all I did was prepare a bunch of vegetables to be ready to use once every few days, that would still save me a lot of time. With JT helping, we processed enough veggies for several weeks. I may even end up just freezing plain vegetables for use in recipes.

I'm really glad to have so much of it done. It was great to have the company and help from JT and her family. In a few weeks we'll do the same thing at her house. Then hopefully we'll be able to continue doing it every now and then, taking turns helping each other.

We made triple batches of the French dip sandwich filling, au jus and chicken a la king for yesterday's meals, so after eating lunch and dinner we put 4 meals into the freezer. Today I'm making multiple batches of 3 more meals and feeding most of them to the freezer.

I can't believe how quick and easy meal preparation is when all the vegetable pre-prep is done ahead of time. If my recipe calls for 3 carrots, all I have to do is measure out a cup and a half of sliced carrots and dump them in. JT was smart enough to measure one chopped carrot so I'd know how much to put in recipes, and that makes it so easy.

The beef and chicken bones have been simmering gently for a day and a half now, and I just finished taking them out and straining the broth. Now it's back on the stove with the lid off, condensing. The condensed broth will take less space in the freezer. It will make good soups, I think, and will add flavor to casseroles and other dishes. I sent the bones and fatty scraps home with Morning for her two big dogs this morning when she came by.

The house smells fabulous with all the cooking, and I'm really excited to be accomplishing so much. Just think how much extra time I'll have in my day when all I have to do is pull a meal out of the freezer and reheat it.

Crazy Cake and Dopey Dreams

Tonight my family came over for dinner, for a combination "just because" gathering and birthday dinner. We were celebrating Baby E's, Amy's, and Sis J's birthdays--all in August. Amy's birthday was actually today, and Sis' was Sunday.

Dinner ended up being late, but it turned out really well. I started cooking the main dish (chicken and brown rice) in the crock pot, but had to finish it on the stove.

I'm finally getting used to cooking meat dishes with no bullion or broth. The chicken was quite flavorful with just water, brown rice, sea salt, pepper, basil, thyme and dill, with some onions and garlic (which I carmelized in a little butter and olive oil before adding). Chopped dill weed is my new favorite seasoning--it really brings out the flavor of so many foods from poultry and fish to potatoes and carrots. We had some steamed cabbage (I got rid of the stovetop steamer and learned how to use an electric countertop steamer), broccoli and cauliflower, and homemade bread along with the mixed green salad my family brought.

For dessert, I modified this recipe to make an allergen-free chocolate crazy cake with no gluten, dairy, corn, soy, nightshades, sulfites, nitrates or grape-derived ingredients.


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I had to substitute ground psyllium seed husk for the xanthan gum, brown sugar for the granulated sugar, and maple syrup for the vanilla, and then I added an egg just because I thought it would be nice. It turned out so rich and fudgy, and it rose beautifully and looked just like a "normal" cake--especially with some stiffly-whipped maple cream on top. Mmmmm.

I used 1/2 cup each of brown rice, sweet rice and tapioca flour, with a scant half-cup of amaranth flour filled the rest of the way with sweet rice flour. I think next time I'll try using more tapioca flour and less of the brown rice and/or amaranth, as it was just a bit gritty in texture. If I am able to perfect the recipe, I'll post it.

Sis and Amy were excited to have a cake they could eat that actually tasted good, and even the family members that normally don't like non-standard foods liked the cake.

Amy was telling us that a friend asked her if she was going to have cake and ice cream for her birthday. She replied, "Well, I can't have cake. But if anyone can figure out how to make a gluten-free cake it would be my sister Purple_Kangaroo."

It does seem that I can tolerate small amounts of chocolate just fine. Baby E didn't test allergic to chocolate, so I'm experimenting with different types and amounts of chocolate for myself. I read recently that chocolate and a few other things (like coffee and carob, if I remember right) have a substance similar to histamine in them that can cause an allergy-like reaction in people who aren't actually allergic to those foods if they're consumed in too large amounts. I'm regretting that second piece of cake tonight, but I think I would have been just fine with one small piece. :)

Happy Birthday to Sis and Amy! I love them both so much.

When other kids would ask me who my best friend was as a kid, I would always answer, "My sisters are my best friends." We did everything together, from playing dolls to helping build houses, to staying up all hours having deep conversations. It was great growing up together, and I enjoy them both even more in different ways now that we're all adults.

Sis has a depth and quiet strength that even people much older don't often display, and I've gotten to see her maturity and grace shining out lately, especially as she's faced some challenges recently. She leaves to return to college in a week. I hate to have her leave again and be so far away, but I'm glad she's taking the initiative to finish her degree. She is a brilliant scientist, and I'm sure she'll be a great success as a teacher or whatever she decides to do.

Amy is such a sweet, comfortable person to be around. She puts people at ease and draws them out to either have fun or share deeply of themselves, depending on the situation. She's been through some challenges in the past few years as well, and it's so nice to see her having come through a difficult time in her life and coming out a stronger person with a growing depth of character, and even more of the empathy and giftedness to love and help others that she's always had. I'm so happy to see her pursuing her dreams of becoming a writer and a sign language interpreter, and starting to have some success even so early in the process.

I love to be with both of my sisters, both together with the whole family and individually. It's nice to have such good friends in the family. I especially watching my kids interact with my parents and sisters. My girls have no idea how unusual it is to have such nice grandparents, aunts and uncles on both sides of the family.

On another note, last night I dreamed that CCW called me on the telephone. I've never heard her voice, but it was a very nice voice in the dream. I wish I could remember what we talked about. :) I was dreaming vividly all night in a drug-induced stupor after taking a dose of Benadryl.

The Benadryl didn't help much against the effects of the allergy testing (I still have itchy welts on my back, among other things), but it certainly succeeded in giving me a very heavy but unrestful sleep. When I did finally manage to wake up I went on feeling like a very groggy, bone-wrenchingly fatigued, extremely grouchy and hopeless zombie through half the day.

I don't think Benadryl and I get along well. It seemed to have that effect on me last time I took it, too. I don't know how something like Benadryl would make me spiral so suddenly and severely into depression, but it really seems to put me in a bad way. This morning was not fun, to say the least. Thankfully, the effect wore off after a few hours.

Of course, I suppose it could be a side effect of the allergic reaction that was the reason I was taking the Benadryl in the first place . . . maybe I'm blaming the wrong source. Either way, I'd like to avoid that kind of reaction to whichever it is as much as possible. It's too close to an internal nuclear meltdown.

Today I worked on battling the dust mites during breaks between playing paper dolls with the girls, feeding Baby E (who took two! naps!), and preparing to have company for dinner.

Dust mites are by far more difficult to remove from our lives than corn, but we'll do our best to minimize them anyway. Getting rid of clutter and any uneccesary pillows, stuffed animals, etc. is a start, along with putting allergen covers on bedding and laundering and vaccuming everything more thoroughly and frequently. It's a bit overwhelming to think of adding the dust mite battle onto everything else, but my goal is to just do what I can and try not to worry about the rest (or picture the little buggies crawling everywhere--ugh!).

DH and I decided to go ahead and order the Oreck steam-cleaner we've been looking at for a couple of years now, and we got a factory refurbished one (complete with a 1-year warranty) for less than it would cost us to have our carpets professionally cleaned even once, I'm sure. We can use it on hard surfaces and upholstery, too. I'm looking forward to trying it out.

I was able to do a minor repair on our beloved Oreck vaccuum cleaner today, also, so it's running effectively again. It had been smelling hot and not picking up as well, but I didn't realize until today that it was because the beater bar wasn't turning (even after a belt change). I'd forgotten how well that vaccuum really works when it's working right. That should help a lot to minimize the allergens in the house. I vaccuumed thoroughly in the family room, including the sofas, today.

Tomorrow I hope to uncover enough of the bedroom floor to be able to vaccuum the entire carpet in there. I've made progress toward that goal in the last few days, but I still have quite a bit to do in there. I also need to do some recipe planning (made easier by the cookbooks my mom brought over tonight) and get some groceries in preparation for JT's visit and our meal prep marathon on Sunday after church.

But first, tomorrow I get to go to a very special baby shower. Miraclebaby is finally 37 weeks pregnant and her baby girl will be born soon. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful that is. It's truly a miracle, and something many people have been praying for a lot. After being on bedrest almost her entire pregnancy and not being sure if the stitch would hold, she's reached full term and the baby can come any time she feels like it. I'm so thrilled and excited for them.

Itchy, itchy, scratchy, scratchy, now I've got one down my back-y

We went back to the allergist today, and we were in the right place at the right time, finally. The joint appointment for myself and Baby E took 2 1/2 hours.

Baby E was overdue for a nap, but was absolutely charming between tantrums. The girls got to watch part of a video toward the end, which they loved--and they didn't even complain when we had to leave in the middle of it.

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Having us all there made for a lot of people in a very tiny room for so long. I was a little self-conscious that the kids scattered books and toys around, got a bit noisy occasionally, interrupted a few times, etc. They didn't behave quite as well as I'd hoped. Baby E made things more difficult because she was insistent that she wanted to eat crayons, and kept throwing tantrums because I wouldn't let her.

But really, AJ and M&M were fabulous. For the most part they were extremely quiet, reading and coloring by themselves, while I talked with the allergist and the nurse and we waited for test results.

At first I kept apologizing for Baby E's fussing, AJ and M&M's scattered crayons, the noise, etc. But random staff kept popping their heads into the room and telling me how well-behaved my kids were and how cute they all were, how content they seemed, etc. At the end, when I was tying Baby E into the rebozo, a nurse told me that it was obvious I loved my kids and was a wonderful mom. Sometimes I don't realize how well-behaved my kids really are being at the moment until someone else comments about them.

Baby E and I both had more allergy testing done. Baby E was tested for legumes and chocolate, and I was tested for airborne allergens. She tested positive for red kidney beans, but not for the other legumes, which was encouraging. Red kidney beans shouldn't be too hard to avoid. Since she did test positive to more than one legume, though, the allergist recommended caution in introducing her to other legumes.

The allergist is a very animated young man who talks with his hands, in big expressive gestures. As he was explaining the various results and options to me, I suddenly realized that Baby E had stopped squirming in my arms and was staring at him. Then she started waving her arm. It took me a minute to realize that she was copying his gestures--perfectly. It made holding a serious conversation very difficult. Thankfully, he thought it was funny too. We both had a hard time continuing the conversation without constantly bursting into laughter as Baby E copied his every expression.

My own allergy testing was very revealing. Although Baby E tested positive for several things, I hadn't really understood why they kept saying she didn't react very much until I saw my own results. Baby E's largest welt (to corn) was 5 over 14--a welt of 5 mm with a red area of 14 mm. My largest was 20 over 35. My histamine control--the one sure to provoke a strong allergic response--was 7 over 30. Two of my allergy tests reacted more than the histamine control.

Out of 38 allergens in the panel, I tested positive to about half. I'm not quite sure looking at my results how many exactly, because I had several that measured 4/20 and they marked some positive and some not. There are 17 different allergens on the paper with an X next to them for positive.

The people at the allergist's office kept saying. "You're allergic. You're very allergic." In fact, they warned me that I may need to take an antihistamine tonight just from the testing. Hours later I still have itchy, burning welts on my back--even after the allergist put a topical antihistamine on them.

I tested positive to various tree and grass pollens, weeds, dust and dust mites, and cat. The cat (my second most reactive result) was a complete surprise. In all my years of cat ownership, volunteering at the humane society and working as a veterinary assistant I never really suspected a cat allergy. All that exposure definitely could be what sensitized me, though.

Thankfully I did not test positive for hamster--and, yes, they tested for hamster. So Puff can stay. :)

The hugest reactions were, predictably, to dust mites. Since they mainly live in beds and pillows, such a severe allergy to dust mites could reveal a lot about why I have trouble sleeping and wake up feeling unrested, stuffy and achy.

I'm going to start with getting dust mite covers on the bedding and working on decluttering and more regular vaccuuming, especially in the bedroom. The allergist gave me prescriptions for an inhaler, an antihistamine (something like Allegra) and some kind of once-a-day nasal spray. He also suggested that I consider doing allergy shots, which would be expensive and a huge time commitment. I need to research and consider the various options. If it would really make me feel a lot better, it could certainly be worth it.

I'm supposed to go in again in a few weeks to test for food allergies. It will be interesting to see what shows up with that.

I (Heart) My Pediatrician

Baby E had her one-year well-baby check today, with Dr. B, the man who was my pediatrician as a child and is now seeing Baby E. I took along all the vaccine inserts and printouts from the CDC with the corn and soy ingredients highlighted, along with the 5 pages of printouts of the various names corn and soy can masquerade under. Every brand of every vaccine appears to have corn and/or soy in it, as far as I can tell, so I wanted to ask him about that.

Dr. B. actually looked at them. He listened carefully and considered. Then he said that he didn't think we should give her the vaccines that have corn and soy in them. But he didn't stop there; no he didn't stop there. He thought, and he brought an idea to bear. (Hmmm, can you tell my kids are watching a Dr. Seuss video while I'm typing?)

Anyway, Dr. B said that there's a new vaccine manufacturer coming into the market, that's going to be cleared with the FDA soon. He's going to check with them to see whether their vaccines contain corn or soy derivatives or not.

He apparently really keeps up with the research and the new things coming out on the market, as well as all the information on more established things. He seems so knowledgeable about everything from the various vaccine efficacy rates to what tests and symptoms would point to celiac. He often mentions studies and statistics offhand, as though he's thoroughly familiar with the research and other information related to pediatrics.

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He took all the information I had printed out, and is going to do his own research to try to find out if there are any vaccines that would be safer to give Baby E.

That really means a lot to me that he's willing to put that much effort into one patient. He obviously likes his job (he must have told me at least 3 times how beautiful Baby E is), takes it seriously and is good at it.

I asked about Baby E's lack of weight gain, and he said that she seems healthy and that the combination of her diet and her food allergies could easily account for it. As I thought likely, he expects that once she's been corn-free for a while she'll probably gain more weight. She's not dropping off the charts or actually losing weight, so it's nothing to be too concerned about at this point. He said she doesn't present like a child with celiac, even though the clinical presentation can vary a lot. But if we decide to rule it out since it runs in the family he told me what to make sure she gets tested for.

It's so nice to have a pediatrician I feel comfortable with and can trust. I feel encouraged and reassured when we come out of an appointment with him, rather than just feeling discounted or brushed off.

I think we'll keep this one. :)

Procrastination is a bad, bad thing

I've been so busy trying to deal with Baby E's allergies and everyone's illnesses the last few weeks, that I let the auto insurance stuff slide. So I spent this morning calling various auto insurance companies, an auto body shop, etc. to try to get some of the things relating to being rear-ended taken care of.

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It looks like the car repairs will work out fine. I have an appointment to get the bumper replaced, and the at-fault insurance company will even provide a rental vehicle while it's being repaired. That's really good news.

The bad news is that I'm having trouble getting a chiropractor appointment about the subluxated rib.

Quick recap: I've seen my primary doctor and/or the PA at least 3 times about the pain, and saw a physical therapist for several weeks. But then the PT said I needed to see someone else, because he couldn't treat what he suspected was a subluxated rib. Both he and the primary care doctor recommended that I get Bowen or chiropractic treatments for that.

Since Bowen is usually less painful for me, I called to make an appointment with my usual Bowen practicioner right away. Played phone tag with her for a week or so. Due to extenuating circumstances, she didn't have any openings right away but the receptionist was supposed to call me when she was making appointments again in a week or so.

Now it's been a couple more weeks, and I still haven't heard back from her or seen anyone about the subluxated rib. I've been so worried about Baby E that my own health didn't seem like much of a priority. But now I can't take any ibuprofen or anything else for it, because (of course) they all have corn and/or soy. I've been living with the pain--I'm used to dealing with pain--but I would really like to get it treated, since it is something treatable.

So I called my chiropractor to see if she could get me in. She said that since it's been so long since the accident, they can't see me without a preauthorization from the insurance company. Apparently a lot of insurance companies automatically stop covering injury treatment 2 months after an accident, assuming any injuries would have stabilized by then. So since we're getting close to that deadline (the 23rd of this month will be 2 months since the accident) they won't take me at all without some assurance that the insurance company will cover it.

When I called my insurance company, they said they don't do preauthorizations, period. The best they can do is verify to the chiropractor that there is in fact an open claim that can be billed. The chiropractor says that won't cut it. They insist that the type of preauthorization they're asking for is a common and reasonable thing. The insurance company insists they can't do that.

So now I'm trying to figure out what to do next. I'm going to see if I can talk to someone else at the insurance company, maybe a manager. I really wish I'd been more proactive about getting this taken care of a couple of weeks ago--or just started with the chiropractor in the first place, instead of going with my MD's recommendation to see a phyical therapist that ended up being very little help.

Has anyone run into a situation like this before? I'd appreciate any experience or advice any readers could share.

Wordless Wednesday, 16 August 2006

My camera is missing, so I had to get creative (you may want to turn your speakers down):

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I'm on vacation . . .

On vacation from my PROBLEMS!



Last night Baby E slept a marathon. She didn't wake up from the time she went to sleep until 6 a.m., and then she went back to sleep after about 45 minutes and slept until almost 10! I even got to help the girls get dressed, braid their hair and shower--all this after sleeping in. Then she woke up happy and played in her crib until I went to get her.

After breakfast and chores, the girls unloaded the dishwasher (at least the dishes they could reach) and then we made glitter pictures. It ended up being rather labor-intensive, but a lot of fun.

The girls decided they were each making their pictures to give to the other. AJ made the pegasus for M&M (oh the cuteness of hearing M&M say "peg-sus") and M&M made the castle to give to AJ.

They were "sand by number" pictures with a sticky backing. The girls and I pulled off the numbered sticker backing from the front, one color at a time, and sprinkled colored sand and glitter onto the adhesive. It really worked nicely, and we were all impressed at how beautiful the pictures turned out.

I'd been able to get our allergist appointments changed to afternoon instead of early morning. I managed to get the paperwork filled out, coloring books and toys gathered for the girls, etc. and get us all to the office in time without too much hassle.

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Halfway into the building, though, I realized we were at the wrong building.

Okay, I thought, the allergist's office is only about 5 minutes from our regular clinic. We rushed over there, but by the time I got everyone in and out of carseats we were almost 10 minutes late.

Then the receptionist informed us that our allergist was not in. He was working in another state today.

In fact, our appointment was at the office in the other state.

As I bundled the kids back into the car and started to drive home, I tried to figure out why I always seem to get myself into situations like this. It was mainly the scheduler's error, but I should have paid more attention and made sure it was correct.

I was thinking, "I can't believe it. Yesterday was such a bad day, and now this. Today's shaping up to be another one of those days where everything goes wrong. It's not fair. Or maybe it's just my own fault."

Then I thought, "I can't change the circumstances, but I can change my attitude. I am not going to let this ruin my day."

On the bright side, at least the kids wouldn't have to miss naps and quiet time. After I got them settled, I sat down to rest. I thought about making some phone calls or doing more research about Baby E's food allergies.

But all this researching and trying to figure out how and what to cook and what Baby E could eat was burning me out and driving me crazy. I needed a break.

So I decided that, at least for the next few days, I'm going to try not to do anything allergy-related. It may be bland and boring, but I'll stick to the things I know are safe. No researching, no phone-calling. I'll plan menus around the things I know how to prepare safely and am comfortable cooking. And I'll try to think about something else for a while.

Just making that decision was a huge relief. I felt better already.

Then there was a knock on the door. "Morning" had stopped by. She said, "I thought you might need a vacation--or at least an adult to talk to." I hadn't seen her for a while, so it was an especially nice surprise. We had a nice visit. It was so good to see her.

When she left, I decided to keep dinner simple. I made cinnamon chicken, broccoli and breadsticks. I'm going to try to sit down soon and write down my variations of recipes. If I make my own allergy-safe recipe book, DH and I will both be able to just pull it out and cook things without having to do so much thinking and making calculations on the go to convert recipes.

While I was cooking dinner (and reminding myself to be thankful that I didn't have to grow and pick everything myself even when I do have to wash and chop lots of vegetables), the phone rang. My friend JT said, "I read your blog about ruining dinner after chopping all those vegetables last night. I was wondering if I could come over and help you chop and freeze a bunch of vegetables and do some pre-preparation to make your meals easier."

What a great idea! It will be so much fun to spend time with their family this coming weekend, and having a lot of the meal prep done ahead of time will certainly make life easier. What a wonderful gift. I'm so blessed to have some really amazing friends in my life.

We're going to try to come up with some make-ahead meals and some dry mixes for baked goods that we can adapt to our allergy needs. If anyone has any good once-a-month-cooking, make-a-mix or make-and-freeze type recipes that would work well with no soy, dairy, corn, or processed foods, I'd love to see them.

After dinner we finished writing a letter to Selemani, the African boy we sponsor through Compassion International. It's a lot of fun writing to and receiving letters from him. The girls told him all about VBS, and decided to draw pictures of cats (their current favorite animal) to send along.







Baby E barely nursed tonight, and wouldn't settle down when I tried to rock her to sleep. So I put her in her crib and she screamed for about 30 seconds before she was out.

It seems that when she's not feeling well she needs to be held and comforted to sleep. But when she's her normal self, she does much better being put in the crib to put herself to sleep after a soothing bedtime routine and a story.

I'm encouraged that we're getting back to a shorter, simpler routine with a child who sleeps well and doesn't have to be held to sleep while she whimpers and squirms in pain.

Mostly, today I'm just thankful that my kids are so healthy in general. Allergies are frustrating, yes. But at least I can do something about them. They are manageable. They might even go away eventually. It takes quite a learning curve, but we can learn to work around them.

If one of my kids had a really serious disease no amount of hard work, lifestyle change or manipulation of their diet on my part would be able to fix it. There would be nothing I could do but hope and pray, and trust them to doctors. I'm glad God isn't asking me to handle something like that now.

Most parents whose kids are sick don't have the luxury of being able to fix it. I do. And I'm so grateful for that.

Next Stop: Crazy.

DH so sweetly got up with the girls this morning and fed them breakfast, as he often does, while I tried to gather myself together. I woke up in more pain and fatigue than usual, even though I'd gotten what should have been a good night's sleep. I can't take anything for my back (still hurting from the car accident) or anything else, because all the Advil, Tylenol, etc. contain corn or soy ingredients.

I hope someday Baby E will appreciate the sacrifices we're making for her.

Actually, scratch that. I think what I really hope is that she never truly understands how difficult her allergies are making life right now.

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We've just plain had a lot going on lately, and have all been overdoing it a bit lately. DH and I are both working hard. Even so, we're having trouble getting even the most important things done.

The girls, recovering from a week of illness, overstimulation, and little sleep, have been in fine form too.

Case in point: After several hours of not-so-patiently trying to settle arguments, break up fights and quell tantrums this morning, I decided to be proactive.

I marched toward the howling duet and made my announcement in a forced almost-cheery enthusiasm. "Guess what, girls? I have a surprise for you! If you hurry up and finish your chores you can do a fun project--making glitter pictures!"

AJ burst into fresh tears. "But I don't want to! I don't want to get my hands dirty." She sobbed massively and opted, instead, to go to bed--at 10:00 in the morning.

M&M wanted to do the craft, but lost the privilege by taking more than 25 minutes to get dressed, brush her teeth, pick up her dirty nightgown and a couple of toys, and make her bed.

By the time I'd finally wrangled the girls into doing their morning routines (AJ's "tiredness" didn't last long), Baby E was ready for a nap but refusing to go to sleep. I finally let her scream in her crib while the older girls played a computer game and I took a shower. She did fall asleep before I actually managed to get into the shower, so I was able to at least shampoo my hair with tar extract to quell the itching and burning from exczema without worrying about her.

This week's experiments have confirmed that Baby E is apparently not allergic to cow's milk (she did fine with both yogurt and ice cream), but I still am. Not only has it given me an itchy scalp, but it does seem that my pain, fatigue and general difficulty functioning are much worse when I consume dairy products. Dairy also seems to cause or exacerbate the unquenchable hunger that's so annoying. The failure of my dairy experiment really disappointing; especially since Baby E and I both seem to get uncomfortable intestinal symptoms with goat's milk, but not with organic additive-free cow's milk products.

I'm really excited that Baby E seems to do okay with cow's milk, though. It must have been either the pectin in the goat milk yogurt or the corn the goat had eaten that bothered her. I'm still trying to figure that out. Every time I test something new, I have to plan my day around it and be prepared to deal with a reaction.

I've been trying to make at least a few phone calls per day to manufacturers of food or medicine to try to find information about things Baby E can eat.

Even picking just the things that seem likely after scrutinizing the ingredients and researching on the web, I end up with maybe 1 out of every 5-10 attempts being actually confirmed as something that's probably safe for Baby E.

One of today's conversations was pretty standard: I called a company to ask about the xanthan gum and cellulose fiber in their brown rice bread. That one was a bit of a stretch, I knew, but I was hoping that they might have made an effort to make this special gluten-free supposedly-hypoallergenic bread without any of the more common allergens.

"Our xanthan gum does not have any corn in it," the customer service representative said with confidence. "It's not made from corn."

"Are you sure? Because xanthan gum is usually manufactured using corn derivatives."

"Xanthan gum isn't a corn product. I'm certain our xanthan gum does not contain any corn."

"Really?" I asked, "Xanthan gum isn't actually a corn product, but it's usually grown on corn syrup."

"Our xanthan gum is not grown on corn syrup."

"Wow, that's great. It must be grown on molasses or something like that, then? I know it can be grown on molasses, but it's not very common. I'm so glad--It's hard to find xanthan gum that's grown on something besides corn."

"It has to be grown on something? Isn't it just . . . gum from a xanthan tree or something?"

"No, it's an organism kind of similar to yeast, in a way." [Actually, it's a bacteria called Xanthonomonas campestris, usually responsible for the black mold on things like cauliflower, that creates a gummy substance in its external cell structure. But I didn't go into that much detail.] "It has to be grown on some kind of syrup, and then they separate it from the growth medium and dry it. But even after purification it will still have some traces of the corn syrup or whatever it was grown on."

"Oh."

I heard computer keys tapping.

"Uh. Um," she said. "This says it's also known as corn sugar gum."

"Yes, it is. That's because it's usually grown on corn sugar. But not always."

"Well, then I would think you probably shouldn't eat it, if it's called corn sugar gum. I wouldn't risk it if I were you."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks."

"What was the other thing you were wondering about? Cellulose fiber? Let me see what I can find out about that."

More key-tapping.

"Hmmm," she said, "My computer says that our cellulose fiber is made from fibrous plants. But it doesn't say what kind. Corn could definitely be a fibrous plant, couldn't it?"

"Yes, it certainly could. Is that all the information you're able to get on those ingredients?"

"Yes, that's all I can tell you. We buy these ingredients from suppliers, and we don't know what's in them. The suppliers may change, so it may even be different from one batch to another."

"Okay. Well, thanks anyway."

I also succeeded in convincing someone at an influential allergy information and lobbying group that, yes, Baby E probably does have a true corn allergy, and that corn allergy might not be quite as rare as commonly believed. She became quite interested and asked me to e-mail her the articles and studies I mentioned.

I'll bet I'd make a good lobbyist.

I also found out that Infants' Advil (the one and only brand of baby pain reliever/fever reducer that seems to be corn-free) contains soy. It figures.

I'm told by other allergy sufferers that my options are to look into suppositories (which may or may not work as well), or to have something custom-made by a compounding pharmacy. The compounding pharmacy option entails somehow finding such a pharmacy, getting a prescription from a doctor (because they can't specially compound even over-the-counter meds without a prescription), traveling to and from the pharmacy (which is probably going to be in the next state), paying the outrageously expensive price of $1 or more per dose, and hoping they've managed to actually avoid all the gazillion possible ingredients with hidden corn and/or soy derivatives.

We'll pretty much have to do that for every medication, OTC or prescription, or just do without. Doing without is what I've been doing for the most part.

It's not just medicines that are a problem. Trying to figure out what to eat for each meal is such a challenge. The things we can eat are, for the most part, very labor-intensive to prepare.

Today I started washing and cutting up fresh vegetables for dinner before lunchtime. We snacked on some of the sliced cabbage raw, and just as I was starting to cook some of it with some other veggies for the rest of lunch, the doorbell rang.

I rushed to get there ahead of M&M, calling, "Don't open the door! Stop! You don't ever open the door. Let me get it."

"I know, Mommy! I know that. I wasn't going to open it. I just want to see who it is when you get it."

It should have been my cue not to open the door when my query of "Who is it?" was answered only by silence.

I thought the UPS or FedEx carrier must have left a package, so I opened the door.

Immediately the tall youngish and somewhat scraggly-looking man who'd been standing halfway down the walk inserted himself in the crack between the door and the frame. I was afraid he'd try to shove his way right into the house. I stood my ground.

"Well, hello, ma'am, how are you today?"

"I'm very busy. I'm right in the middle of cooking lunch for my kids and I don't have time for this right now."

"This will only take a minute."

I spied the bottle in his hand. "Are you selling Advanage?"

It's a good product, but the salespeople tend to be pushy. I thought this one would be pretty easy to get rid of, though, since I could honestly say that I already had some.

"Why, yes, Ma'am, how did you know?"

"I bought some from the last guy who came around selling some about two years ago. He was out of spray bottles to dilute it in and was supposed to send me one, but it never came. I called and called the company off and on for about 6 months and still never got the sprayer I'd paid for."

"Well, we can sure get you an extra spray bottle, Ma'am. What kind did you buy? The citrus?"

"The plain kind. I don't like the citrus. I really don't have time for this, and I don't want any. I still have 3/4 of my bottle left and I'm not interested in buying more."

"Well, that's great, Ma'am. That means you're almost out of it. Now we have a new scent, this green apple."

"I don't like scented, I like the plain. I already have plenty and I don't want more."

"Oh, but now we have this new formula in the plain; it's much stronger. It'll even take out stains from your sharpie permanent marker. Look here; I'll show you."

He pulled out a rag and a sharpie, stepping back just a hair.

By this point AJ and M&M were enthralled, and AJ squeezed herself as close to the doorway as she could get around me.

She smiled at the man. "What's your name?"

"My name is Michael. What's yours?"

I had Baby E in one hand and the door in the other, so I didn't have a hand free to grab AJ. It all happened so fast.

"No!" I said to the man. "Please go away."

"My name is AJ. It's spelled [she spelled it]."

"Wow, you're smart, AJ. You're great. Gimme Five."

I interposed myself between them as they tried to smack their palms together. "AJ, get back in the house. NOW."

I stepped forward, planting my body squarely in the doorway, and stared the man down as he started into his sales pitch again. "I have food on the stove. I am not going to buy anything and I don't have time for this. Goodbye."

He didn't back down a bit. "Let me just show you this real quick. It will only take a minute." He continued rattling off his spiel, as fast as he could, while rubbing marker into his rag.

I contemplated slamming the door in his face. It would really have been in his face, too--I don't think I could have shut the door without hitting him. I felt so encroached on and violated. This man was in my space. He wouldn't stop, and he wouldn't go away. I felt about ready to scream. I was afraid he would try to push his way into the house if I stepped back to shut the door.

I'm sure it didn't help that last night I had a marathon nightmare about an intruder breaking down the front door and getting into the house while I was trying unsuccessfully to trigger the alarm system and hide the kids. (Of course, the dream took place at my childhood home which had a front door with a bigger window in it, but that's beside the point.) We really, really need a peephole in our front door so I don't get into these situations in the first place.

I leaned forward and glared at him, forcing him to look me in the eye. Over his monologue, I chanted, "I am not interested. I am not interested. I AM NOT INTERESTED!!! I have food on the stove. I am not going to stand here talking to you while my house burns down. Go. away. NOW! Goodbye."

And I shut the door.

He did not try to shove the door back open, or push his way inside, as I feared he might. He said "okay" in a rather huffy voice.

And he left.

I was shaking as I went back to my kitchen. Every nerve was on edge, every muscle ready for "fight or flight." I hadn't had to defend my children and my home from someone trying to push his way inside. He'd stayed on the doorstep, and then had left. I had triumphed this time. But I felt the danger. I mentally flogged myself for opening the door at all.

Then I turned to AJ. "You do NOT talk to people like that!" I told her, my voice shaking with fear and anger. "Just because somebody is at the door does not mean they're our friend. That was not a nice man. He was rude, and pushy, and he did not go away when I asked him to. You should not have been standing there telling him your name and all about you! You do NOT talk to people like that. Didn't you hear me saying, 'I am not interested, I do not want to talk to you, go away?!?!'"

No, she hadn't. "But he was a nice man, Mommy. His name was Michael. He told me his name. He was nice."

"No, he was not nice! He was a stranger, and he was NOT a nice man. He was trying to sell us something. He would not go away when I asked him to. You need to pay attention! You do not talk to strangers. If I'm standing there telling someone to leave, you stay away from the door and do not talk to the person. Don't ever do that, ever again. You stay back from the door and don't talk to someone unless I tell you that you can, even if I'm with you. We shouldn't have opened the door at all. That was not someone we knew, and he was not our friend."

I checked and double-checked the lock on the door. It took a while before I stopped listening for someone trying the latch.

Over the course of the afternoon I spent every possible moment between caring for the kids washing and chopping green and purple cabbage, carrots, celery, broccoli, mushrooms, parsely and garlic for dinner. I put all the veggies into the steamer with some chopped onions, crumbled bacon and some cooked hamburger, and sprinkled it all with some salt.

It had been a lot of work, but it was worth it for a nutritious and allergy-safe supper. It was starting to smell good.

Then the water boiled dry in the steamer. I had filled the water as full as possible, but apparently if you cook something for more than 5 minutes in this double-boiler-style stovetop steamer, it runs out of water. By the time I realized what had happened, the food was literally smoked instead of steamed.

I wanted to cry. The kids were hungry and whining. Baby E was fussing, as she'd been doing much of the day. DH was exhausted and hugry too. He was no more functional, physically or emotionally, than I was.

Dinner was ruined. I tried to feed it to the kids, but they cried and complained. Even DH said it all tasted like smoke. It really wasn't edible.

I tried to explain why I was fighting back tears: "I'm so sorry. Do you have any idea how many hours I spent washing and cutting up all those vegetables? All that work, gone up in smoke. I ruined dinner. I'm sorry."

So I made waffles. It took a long time to gather all the ingredients and mix them up, then even longer to bake them.

Halfway through, I realized that big chunks of black non-stick coating were coming off one of the two waffle irons and sticking to the waffles. Now I was poisoning my family.

I told DH, "The non-stick coating is coming off this round iron and getting in the waffles."

"Oh. Okay," he said. Then he picked up one of the round waffles, broke it in half, and gave it to the kids, who immediately started devouring it.

I manged to keep my cool. "In other words," I said in an egaggeratedly calm, but definitely edgy, voice, "don't feed them to the kids!"

"Oh!" He took the pieces of waffle away from the kids, who started howling again. "I'm sorry; I didn't understand. I didn't realise you meant not to give them to the kids."

"Okay," I said, "I clarified." I bit my lip and continued cooking.

By this point Baby E had been fussing in her high chair for a long time. I was trying to bake waffles for the girls and DH while at the same time mixing up hypoallergenic pancakes for Baby E and myself. She escalated into a scream. And screamed, and screamed.

"I can't take her right now," I told DH. "I'm in the middle of trying to make dinner.

"Okay," he said. And continued loading the dishwasher while Baby E screamed.

"Is there a reason you can't pick her up?" I asked in a strained voice, "Because she's been screaming for a long time."

He took her out of the high chair and left the room to gather himself together while I continued cooking pancakes and waffles and feeding the older girls.

Finally the kids were done eating. I cleared the table and fed Baby E, cooking the rest of the pancake batter while DH went up to start getting the kids ready for bed. I got to eat a few pancakes while Baby E tried to pull the plate off the table with her foot. The Trader Joe's raspberry applesauce made the meal fabulous. Wow, that stuff is good. It tastes just like fresh fruit with no additives, because that's what it is.

When I went up to check on DH and the kids, I found DH kneeling by our bed, head in his hands, looking completely drained. He was praying. I left him alone. The kids had their pajamas on, so I gave them some chocolate rice milk and then sent them up to finish getting ready for bed.

When I went upstairs again, DH was sorting toys and cleaning up in the playroom while helping the kids get ready for bed. I fed Baby E. She fell asleep while nursing, much earlier than normal. When I couldn't wake her to feed on the other side, I went with relief to lay her in the crib.

Apparently DH had changed the burnt-out lightbulb in Baby E's room. How nice. But there were lightbulbs and carboard boxes scattered in Baby E's crib. I couldn't move them while holding her without waking her up.

I went quietly to the playroom door and tried to get DH's attention. All my wild gestures and the jerks of my head toward Baby E's room did nothing. He stared at me like I was crazy (well, yes, I know I had long-ago reached crazy, but that's not the point).

He said, "What? I can't hear you? What do you want?"

"There are light bulbs in the baby's crib," I said softly.

"What?"

"There are light bulbs in the baby's crib! I need your help to move them."

Baby E's eyes popped open at the sound. I frantically shushed and rocked her, and they drooped shut again.

DH removed the light bulbs and raised the side of the crib.

"It would have been easier to lay her down with the side down," I whispered, reaching to lay her down.

He reached under my arm and squeaked the side down again as I shook my head to try to stop him. Now that I had her halfway in the crib, things had to be handled delicately to keep from waking her.

Poor guy; I couldn't make clear what I wanted, and he was trying so hard to help. I laid her down as he raised the side again.

She woke up.

I picked her up and nursed her some more.

She finally fell asleep again, and I laid her down, only to have her wake up again.

I didn't have the energy to spend another hour or two in her room trying to calm her as I've ended up doing a lot lately. I was worn to a frazzle, and so was DH. So I walked out and closed the door while she screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

I felt like a murderer, especially after letting her cry it out at nap time and last night too, but there was no way I was going back in there even just to talk to her at the moment. I just couldn't. I walked downstairs and DH asked me how it was going. Through tears, I told him that I couldn't get Baby E to sleep.

After what seemed like 20 minutes, but was probably closer to 10, she cried herself to sleep.

I'm going to bed now, too.

Tomorrow is a new day, as Anne of Green Gables would say, with no mistakes in it--yet.

Silly Songs Through History: The Apple Picker's Reel

Amy started it. Anyone else want to blog one of your favorite silly old songs?

Lost and Found . . . Zipper Pull?

Laptops can be really nice sometimes. I'm sitting in Baby E's room in the dark right now, typing away on DH's. I made the mistake of letting her take a nap at 5pm this evening and now she's wide awake.

She is still feeling a bit under the weather tonight, plus she may have gotten some corn (DH fed her while I was out running an errand, and gave her something questionable) and that may be affecting her ability to sleep. DH tried to rock her to sleep and we tried letting her be alone in her crib, but she got so hysterical and refused so staunchly to calm down that I eventually decided it might be better to sit in here with her, at least until she gets a little sleepier.

I hope she drops off soon . . . it's after midnight now and I'm tired, even if she isn't!

Last night she barely slept at all. She seemed to be so uncomfortable (either from being sick and/or from the tooth she's about to cut) that I finally gave her some infant's ibuprofen. Baby Advil was on the "safe list" at the corn allergy forum, but I was so tired and groggy by that point that I forgot to double-check the label. What I ended up giving her was the closest thing we had in the house, but it was the generic version which does apparently contain corn-derived ingredients. She went from uncomfortable to unsupportably miserable for the rest of the night.

################################

We need to come up with some sort of organizing or labeling system to minimize accidents like that, in addition to doing things like buying a second toaster that will be dedicated to Baby E's bread to avoid cross-contamination.

Baby E and I both seemed to get a touch of what AJ had, but thankfully we've avoided the vomiting part. M&M has so far been unscathed and brimming with energy. AJ was still quite weak and tired today, but definitely on the mend. She missed a couple of days of their dearly-loved VBS. That was too bad, but I was so thankful that Vacation Bible School was going on this week for M&M while the rest of us were unwell.

Yesterday (the day AJ, Baby E and I ended up doing nothing much but sleeping a lot and lolling around feeling icky with no energy) it was really a blessing. DH has been dropping the girls off at VBS on his way to work in the mornings, and he took M&M as usual. After VBS was over, my SILs took her with them to the zoo. DH went over to their house and got her after dinner. I can't even begin to describe how helpful that was.

Eating allergen-free is getting easier. If I keep the refrigerator stocked with a good supply of fresh fruits and vegetables, that really helps a lot. I've been buying organic produce whenever possible to minimize the chances of food having been sprayed with citric acid, coated with wax, or treated with some other corn derivative. Then I wash them well with castile soap or vegetable wash and water, and peel them if possible.

Tonight I sliced a parsnip thinly and toasted it in a frying pan with a little olive oil. Then I added some sliced mushrooms and a little snipped parsley, seasoned it with a clove of minced garlic and some pre-chopped onions (Trader Joe's carries them at a decent price--it makes meal preparation so much faster and less painful). I sprinkled in some seasoned RealSalt (unrefined sea salt packaged with herbs and spices) and a little leftover marinara sauce.

With the addition of some leftover brown and wild rice pilaf and some safe turkey lunchmeat (we've found one brand Baby E and I can eat), it was really smelling good. I threw in a few alfalfa sprouts and decided I needed some crisp raw greens along with my meal. But I wasn't in the mood for a salad, so I pulled out some organic whole wheat pita bread and layered my parsnip mixture into it with some baby spinach and more sprouts. Wow, it was delicious.

I did get a bit of a surprise when I bit down on something hard and realized there was a zipper pull mixed in with the sprouts. I wonder how that got in there? According to the package, they were raised with only water and light. I've pictured all sorts of scenarios for how a zipper pull could have ended up in the package.

Now it's after 1 a.m. and Baby E seems to finally be winding down. Goodnight!

Now I'm getting angry.

I called my allergist yesterday to ask about the Zyrtec syrup he had prescribed for Baby E's allergies, because I had read from several different sources that it contains corn-derived ingredients.

The allergist's nurse called Pfizer, the manufacturer of Zyrtec, and then called me back. She said they assured her that there were no corn or soy ingredients in Zyrtec syrup. However, it didn't seem that she'd checked on the sources of ingredients like glycerin that aren't called corn, but are usually derived from corn.

So I tracked down the 800 number myself and called Pfizer. After being put on hold and transferred numerous times, I finally got to ask my question. I asked if there were any corn- or soy-derived ingredients, specifically pointing out the often-problematic ones like glycerin and flavorings.

The "specialist" who helped me was able to tell me that there were no corn-derived ingredients in the sugar syrup. But he said that they DO NOT KNOW what is in the other ingredients, such as glycerin and flavorings, because they buy those from outside sources who do not disclose such information. It's "proprietary information".

So they don't know what's in their drugs, and they can't or won't find out.

###############

He told me that Pfizer has a disclaimer that they can't guarantee any of their medications are free from any allergen at all. I informed him that it could be a life-and-death matter for highly allergic people like my daughter, and he said "for patients like that we recommend that they be very careful about anything they take, and discuss it with their doctor" to decide whether it's worth the risk or not. But how can the doctor and patient make an informed decision if the drug company won't tell them whether the drug contains the thing they're allergic to?

All the package inserts say the medication is contraindicated for patients allergic to any of the ingredients. But when the ingredients are vague things like "flavorings" or "glycerin" that could come from any of many different sources, that's not much help. Not at all. They might as well just put "medicine" on the label and not say what's in it.

How in the world can a drug company NOT KNOW what's in the drugs they are making, and not be able or willing to find out? Most of the food companies I've talked to have been more than willing to contact their distibutors and ask if there are corn and/or soy in the products like glycerin and flavorings. The nutritionist at Trader Joe's is even researching what the goats eat that make the milk for the goat milk yogurt, to try to help me figure out why Baby E reacted immediately to it both times we tried it.

Even companies that don't disclose their formulas and consider their ingredients proprietary information have been more than willing to check on whether they contain a specific allergen. For the most part, they seem to actually care about helping us avoid an allergic reaction from consuming their products.

I'd like to write some letters or contact someone about this--it's just not right that a drug company would be unable/unwilling to disclose potential allergens in their products. Especially with a prescription medication intended to treat allergies, when you KNOW a higher-than-normal percentage of allergic individuals are going to be using it.

And then they have a disclaimer so that if someone dies because they didn't disclose an allergen, nobody can do anything about it.

Something needs to change in this system.

Feeling Icky

AJ has a stomach virus. Poor thing.

Recent Kid Quotes

M&M: When I grow up, I think I'll marry Daddy.

[Chuckle] You can't marry Daddy--he's already married to me. Besides, people can't marry their daddies.

M&M: Okay, Mommy. Then I guess I'll marry you.

Another day:

AJ: Mommy, you seem a little grouchy today. I think you need a nap. When we get home, we'll let you take a nap, okay?

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I was able to confirm that it was the goat milk yogurt Baby E was reacting to yesterday. Just three or four spoonfuls this morning brought about the same reaction, except that this time she was fussy and had a lot of stomach pain in addition to the diarrhea. She wanted to nurse a lot until it got out of her system . . . interestingly enough, on the days she hasn't had any reactions she's nursed much less lately.

I called the distributor (Trader Joe's) to ask if there was any possibility there could be corn or soy in the yogurt. The nutritionist at TJ's was very helpful and is going to try to track down information from the manufacturers of all the ingredients, including (her idea) what kind of food the goats are eating, and whether it contains soy or corn.

I guess it makes sense that if soy and corn transfer through my milk and bother Baby E, then it might do so in cow's or goat's milk also. If there isn't any soy or corn in the yogurt, I think we can be pretty sure that it's the milk itself that's bothering her.

If it turned out (by some slim chance) that she doesn't actually have a problem with milk, but that something the goats ate was bothering her, I think we'd just have to stay away from dairy products anyway . . . it's too hard to know what an animal has been eating.

Baby E is still sleeping better, and she's been in an even more than usually good mood the last few days. That's very encouraging . . . it makes me feel like all the trouble is worth it.

Also, I managed to find a brand of in-the-jar baby food (Organic Baby) that has citrus-derived vitamin C instead of corn-derived. I had nearly given up on finding one. That made my day. :)