Sweet Moments

As I was tucking AJ into bed tonight, I talked to her about whether she would want to do a meat rabbit pen for 4-H this year. I explained that she would have to choose a doe, raise a litter, feed and keep records on them carefully, and then sell them at the 4-H auction. We would let her spend a little of whatever money they brought in, but she should put the rest into a savings account.

"You can save it for college, to buy a car, or whatever you decide you want to do when you're older."

Suddenly her whole face lit up, her brown eyes glowing. "Could I save it for a mission trip?"

My heart melted. "Sure. If you wanted to save it for a mission trip someday, you could do that."

She beamed. "Then I'll do that. Maybe that's what God has enlisted me for. To be a missionary someday."

When we prayed, I thanked the Lord for her enthusiasm and her sweet heart that loves God.

She has talked about wanting to be a missionary since she was very young. I wouldn't be surprised if someday she does.

(Addendum to this post here.)

Project Success

Our beans and rice project went well. Our goal had been to raise enough money for one well, which with a matching grant would dig two wells in Nicaragua. Instead, we were able to raise enough money for 4 wells, which with the matching grant will be 8! Praise the Lord!

We learned a lot during the week about how people in poverty live, about the people group we're helping with the wells, and about the Lord. The kids did really well with it, and it was a great experience.

Beans and Rice

This week, we're eating beans, rice and water. All week long, for every meal. It's a project our church is doing together as part of our current sermon and activity series.

We've been having a lot of messages about loving God and others, and passages like the Good Samaritan. Last week we heard a message about the passage where Jesus said that when we give a cup of cold water or help someone in need in His name, we do it for Him. This week the entire church is being asked to participate, at whatever level is appropriate for their abilities, age, health issues, etc. in a beans, rice and water fast.

The rice and beans project is to help us learn about, empathize with and pray for those who live in poverty around the world, appreciate what we have and be willing to share in our blessings. The best part is that we're all taking the money we save on groceries and sending it to Forward Edge International to dig a well (hopefully two wells) in a desperately needy village in Nicaragua.

The kids and I are doing a slightly modified version, allowing ourselves a few vegetables along with the beans and rice. DH and NLASS are sticking to just beans and rice, although seasonings are allowed. So far, it's going well.

The kids aren't a big fan of beans, but they're learning to appreciate some dishes they otherwise would have been hesitant to try.

We've spent quite a bit of time talking, learning about and praying for the people who get very little to eat, and who would be thankful to have such a quantity and variety of beans and rice as we're getting. The girls were very touched by reading and seeing videos about the kids living in the dump in Managua (note: Some of the videos touch on some topics that may be sensitive for children--you may want to prewatch it and note any places where you'll want to mute the video).

We joined this project to contribute to blessing others. But we're getting blessed through it ourselves as we learn about the people and projects in Nicaragua, take our eyes off ourselves, and gain a greater appreciation for God's blessing in our lives.

When a doctor uses the word "interesting" . . .

The physician's assistant (my new doctor) that I saw last week called today. Last week I saw him for the first time. He referred me to the sleep clinic and the fibromyalgia clinic, and gave me prescpriptions for a muscle relaxant and some sleep medication to try (not at the same time) to see if they help.

He also talked with me about the fibromyalgia research studies I've been invited to participate in over at Excellent Teaching and Research Hospital. I think we've pretty much decided to wait on taking part in something like a study for now, until we've tried some other things first.

And, he had the lab take blood to run a bunch of tests again.

Today he called and said, "Most of your test results were normal. But a couple of them were very interesting."

I always hold my breath when a doctor says something like that.

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First, he said, my Vitamin D levels were low. Very low, actually. Normal is in the range of 30-150, with 30 considered low. Mine was 11.

Secondly, my monospot test was positive. Again. Even though it's been more than 7 months since the first monospot test was positive. This particular test does not detect previous or even chronic but currently dormant mono infections; it only detects a current active infection.

Since I'm pretty sure I came down with mono at least a month or two before I was diagnosed, this means I've either had an active mono infection for about 9 months, or I'm having multiple recurrent infections. Either one would be very rare and unusual.

Either way, it's not good.

My doctor was rather stymied. He said he really didn't know what to make of it. It's extremely rare for a second monospot test to be positive that long after a first was positive. But my doctor said that he has a good friend who is an infectious disease specialist. He's going to consult with her about my case.

From what I've been reading, passing the 6-month mark is a criteria for diagnosing Chronic Active Epstein-Barr Virus (CAEBV). To be considered a Severe Chronic Active EBV infection (SCAEBV), it has to be found at a certain level in your tissues.

I'm assumming they'll be doing more tests to try to figure out whether this is what it is or not, the severity of it, etc.

One thing is for sure: I found out pretty quickly tonight that googling CAEBV or SCAEBV is not something I want to be doing right now. I keep coming up with results that start with sentences like, "Chronic active Epstein-Barr virus infection (CAEBV) is a rare disease in which previously healthy persons develop severe, life-threatening illness . . . "

Let's not go there.

Since all my other tests were normal, I'm thinking it's highly unlikely that it's the severe chronic form of the illness, even if I do have the chronic form.

The thing I'm most concerned about at the moment is that, either way, I'm most likely contagious. It's quite possible at this point that I'll be either intermittently or consistently contagious for the rest of my life.

Mono or EBV isn't something that most healthy people need to worry about. 90% of cases are asymptomatic. Almost everyone has had it by the time they're teenagers, and most people get it so mildly they never knew they had it. For most people, once they've had it as a child they are immune and will never get it again. It's generally very mild in young children. And it's not highly transmissible, although it is possible to get it by casual contact with an infected person.

It's really only immune-compromised people that need to worry about exposure. But I hang out with quite a few immune-compromised people. Including my mother, a good friend, my sisters and my father-in-law.

So I'll be asking a lot of questions about that.

Meanwhile, I'm singing this song (silently, because my sore throat and swollen glands won't allow singing at the moment):

My peace I give unto you
It's a peace that the world cannot give
It's a peace that the world cannot understand
Peace to know
Peace to live
My peace I give unto you.

It's a paraphrase of John 14:27, where Jesus says, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Impromptu Trip

We took a wrong turn Satuday night and ended up at the coast, so we decided to make an adventure of it. We spent a night and day at the coast, then came halfway home and stayed at Adventurous BIL and Artistic SIL's house the second night. After an afternoon exploring and playing on their acreage, we finally came home just in time to cook dinner Monday night.

It was a great adventure that the kids and I will remember for a long time.



It's a good reminder that God can take even a wrong turn and make it into a beautiful thing.

Clinging

I'm hanging onto this as hard as I can right now:

"And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

2 Corinthians 12:9

Thankful Thursday 6/19/08

• I went shopping with Dr. B. tonight, and when we came out of the shop, my car was not where I left it. It was in the middle of the street in front of the store.
  
  Apparently I either forgot to set the parking brake or didn't set it hard enough. Also, nobody ever told me that you're not supposed to leave a manual transmission car in neutral when you park it. It doesn't have a "park" gear like my van does. (DH normally drives that car, and I'm not very experienced at driving a stick shift.)
  
  The car rolled out of the parking space, turned just enough to avoid hitting another car, and then stopped in the middle of the street, with room for other cars to go around it.
  
  It didn't hit anything, though there were other cars and concrete pillars nearby. Really, it should have hit something because of where it was parked and the angle of the slope. There wasn't a scratch on anything except the tire marks on the curb at the side of the parking space, where the curb helped to turn it enough to avoid hitting the other cars nearby. And it stopped before it hit the building.
  
  We stood there and thanked God aloud in the parking lot.
  
  I highly doubt that I will ever forget to set the parking brake or to put the car in first gear when parking it again.
  

Peace

Physically, today was a difficult day. In other ways it was good. I'm gradually getting more strength and energy, but still struggling with a lot of pain and fatigue to varying degrees, as usual. I'm being sustained, though.

This song was going through my head tonight:

My peace I give unto you
It's a peace that the world cannot give
It's a peace that the world cannot understand
Peace to know
Peace to live
My peace I give unto you.

The song is an adaptation by Pauline Mills of Christ's words in John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." [KJV]

Good Things

The last few days have been busy.

Friday night and Saturday there was a women's event at church. I really wanted to go, but didn't think I would be able to since I still have foggy vision, dizziness and disorientation from the mono that makes driving--well, not such a good idea. My friend CreativeCrafty from our home group volunteered to drive me, though, so I said I'd go if I felt up to it.

I checked with our women's pastor and found out that it would be all right for me to lie down on the couch in the mother's nursing room and listen to the sessions on the speakers in there. Since I no longer have a fever and mono isn't terribly infectious by that point, I wasn't too worried about exposing anyone. I would keep my distance from the babies and, of course, not share food or drinks with anyone.

I felt pretty good Friday morning, but by lunchtime I had already hugely overdone it for the day. Just trying to have a more involved day of homeschooling completely did me in.

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My grandparents had dropped off about 6 meals that Grandma had cooked and frozen for us in the morning, which was wonderful. But I was on my own with the kids for the day. There was no way I was going to be able to go to the event that evening, the way I was feeling by late morning.

By lunchtime I had used up my last reserves of energy and was on the verse of collapse, but Baby E was showing no signs of being ready for a nap. I was just thinking about calling DH and asking him to come home from work when the phone rang.

It was Morning, calling to see if we needed anything from the Trader J's store near her house.

"I was thinking I could pick up some groceries for you, and then play with the kids for a while so you can take a nap," she said. I almost cried. If I could have hugged her over the phone, I would have.

I slept all afternoon while Morning took the kids out to ride bikes and play in the yard. She stayed until DH got home from work and took over.

I got up just in time to get dressed for the event, and DH and the kids drove me to church. CreativeCrafty drove me home, and then picked me up and took me home again on Saturday while DH took the kids to swimming lessons.

Going up to lie on the couch in the mother's room during the teaching sessions worked perfectly. A couple of times I tried to sit in the sessions with everyone else, but sitting upright and still for so long with bright lights and loud noise tired me out very quickly and sent my pain levels up several notches within minutes. It was so nice to be able to go lie down in a dark room with my eyes closed and listen on adjustable-volume speakers.

With resting during the lectures and worship times, I was able to sit and interact during the group discussion times and meals. The people in charge of food even arranged special meals for me with no sugar, dairy or gluten. Have I mentioned that I really love the people in my church?

The event was great. I made some new friends, got to know some others better, and was touched and encouraged by the messages and the discussion/sharing time.

I'm so glad I had friends that made it possible for me to go.

By the time I got home Sunday afternoon, I was completely exhausted and in a lot of pain. I was a bit worried that I'd overdone it too much and would be in for a more difficult next few days as a result. I hadn't been able to sleep much lately, and I knew I really needed to sleep that night, so I took a couple of Ibuprofen--something I really try to avoid doing. It took the edge off the pain and muscle spasms just enough to let me sleep. I rested, slept, and rested some more. I finally got up about 24 hours later, just in time for the home group meeting at our house.

Our friend Loves to Clean came early to help DH and the kids get the house ready for home group. The families in the group have been taking turns doing that so I can rest until it's time for the meeting to start. By the time LTC was done, I think the house was cleaner than it's ever been for a home group meeting before. She was even scrubbing walls.

A solid 24 hours of rest made a huge difference for me. That, and I'd had 2 days on the treatments my naturopath sent to take for Mono. People would walk in, take one look at me, and say, "Oh, I'm so glad you're feeling better!"

I slept well again last night. Today I was still very tired and easily fatigued, but definitely better. For the first time in a month, I didn't have a sore throat or a severe headache. Hopefully that means the acute phase of my mononuleosis is coming to an end.

My 16-year-old mother's helper came this afternoon for the first time. She took the kids for a walk and played outside with them while I napped. The kids absolutely loved her. I'm so excited to have found such a jewel right here in our neighborhood.

Encouraged

DH and I have been doing a lot of talking, thinking and planning. I'll share more of that later.

The two of us went to church this evening where the elders took time out from their business meeting to sit with us, listen, ask questions and then anoint us with oil and pray for us. It was refreshing and encouraging.

The kids had a blast with Grandpa (my dad). They were so excited to have him come and play with them for a while, and were quite miffed when he had to leave.

Home Group

I really, really love the people in our home group Bible study. The group meets at our house--12 adults and 13 kids, plus 2 babysitters.

We had our monthly potluck today. By the time the last family left our kitchen was sparkling clean, with the floor swept and the dishes done. I mostly did what I could while sitting down, helped put away some things, and then watched and pointed out where dishes belonged when I reached my limit. They left us with enough food to provide lunches and dinners for the next few days--meals I won't have to cook.

The people in this group are really finding ways to be involved in each others' lives. We trade babysitting, teach each other new skills (I'm currently teaching one person how to make kombucha, and we're learning together about natural/organic food options in the area), pray for one another, encourage each other, and help each other where we can.

"What can we do to help?" is a common question when prayer requests are shared. And these people actually follow through on it.

It's wonderful to have people like this in our lives. Today, especially, they were so caring and encouraging to DH and to me as we shared the happenings and realizations of the last few weeks.

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The 6 families in our group are the kind of people you'd want in your life, both in a crisis and when things are going smoothly. They're the kind of people who would be there in a heartbeat at the hospital or coming to get the kids if a crisis happened--and the type who are learning (though it's a stretch for all of us, I think) to accept help and support from the rest of the group, too. Although we're not related by blood, we're family of another kind. That's the family of Christ in action.

This week DH is going to babysit for one family so the husband and wife can go on a date, and the wife and kids are going to come over another day and help out here. The girls and I will probably visit with another family if I'm feeling up to it one day, too. One of the other women and I are talking about ways to consolidate our grocery shopping, since we're both interested in healthy eating and whole foods.

Two of the ladies talked to each other and decided that they're going to come over together next week to help me work on decluttering or whatever is needed. Several people volunteered to come early to our group meetings and help DH get the house ready, since I usually need to rest between church and group and it's a big job for DH to do alone.

We've pooled resources to help people within the group as needed, and several families have also spearheaded group efforts to raise money or put together food boxes for needy people in the broader church and community.

We're still growing and learning as a group and in our relationships with each other, but this is the type of group we're growing.

I'm so grateful to be a part of it. Even though I'm one of the ones that is still learning to be vulnerable and accept help. :)

A Tough Road

I discovered a blog yesterday by the husband of a lady with Cystic Fibrosis. This family has had to make some of the hardest decisions I can imagine.

Tricia had become quite ill with her CF. She was getting close to receiving a double lung tranplant that would hopefully save her life, when they discovered she was pregnant. As her father-in-law so eloquently pointed out in this post, it truly was a case where, for very good reason, the doctors were recommending abortion to preserve the life of the mother. There was virtually no chance that the mother would be able to carry the baby to term with both of them surviving the experience.

They chose to keep the baby. They believed that God had a plan, and that He gave them that child at that time for a reason.

Now, at 24 weeks into the pregnancy, the baby has had to be delivered by emergency C-section. They were attempting to intubate Tricia to buy a few more days or weeks for both her and the baby, but ended up needing to deliver the baby in the process.

Before Tricia went into the surgery, she and her husband were asked to make a heart-wrenching decision: If it came down to a choice between saving the baby or saving the mother, what did they want the doctors to do?

I don't know--I don't think any of us know--what choice I would have made in that circumstance. I don't know what choice Nathan and Tricia made. Thankfully, it didn't come down to that.

At this point both Tricia and the baby, Gwyneth Rose, are in ICU in critical condition. I'm checking in often to see how they are doing. I'm praying for them. Most of all, I'm inspired by this family's strength and faith. I'm glad I found their blogs.

Miracles

Baby E had her in-office food challenge today.

They started out by taking her blood pressure and everything, then did a skin-prick test with the fresh-cooked corn we brought and smeared some corn flour mixed with water on one cheek. 15-20 minutes later, so far so good.

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Then they started feeding her corn. They started with half a kernel and gradually increased the amount, feeding her another dose every 20 minutes until finally they just gave her a little cup of corn and let her eat as much as she wanted. She liked it.

By the time all was said and done we had been at the allergist's office for over 4 and 1/2 hours, feeding her corn and watching her. She had no reaction whatsoever. None. Maybe a slight tummy-ache, which is fairly normal for her anyway. Nothing that looked like an allergy.

Sometime this afternoon DH said she had a soft BM that looked like it may have had some corn in it. But she does the same thing with other fruits and vegetables high in starch and/or sugar, so that's nothing unusual for her.

It's now been about 14 hours and still no sign of any kind of reaction. Not even a mood change, difficulty napping or red cheeks. Nothing.

We've been praying so much that she would grow out of her allergies. At this point it looks like she's gone from having a bunch of food allergies to having NONE. We still have to figure out the sugar issue, but Baby E has no food allergies.

Wow. Wow.

We are going to keep an eye on her over the next few days to see how she tolerates it over the long-term, but if that goes well we're going to buy a popcorn popper! And go out to dinner in a real restaurant! And basically eat whatever we want.

It hasn't even really sunk in yet, but wow.

We also got word yesterday that the 4-year-old in Malamute Rescue family had an amazing thing happen this week.

About a year ago he had to have a lump in his neck surgically removed, along with the salivary gland that was causing it.

This year he developed the same kind of problem in another gland, farther down in his neck. The location would be much more difficult and dangerous to operate on, so after verifying the issue the surgeon referred them to another more experienced expert. We all started praying.

About 3 or 4 days ago the Malamute Rescuers noticed that they could no longer see the lump in his neck. Yesterday he had his ultrasound.

There was nothing there. The lump was completely gone.

"I don't know what happened," the renowned surgeon said. "These things don't normally go away on their own. But there's nothing there. Nothing wrong in his neck at all."

We're all praising the Lord for answered prayers. It's almost beyond words at the moment.

500 Prayers

A little boy in AJ's class at our church has just been diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. I can't even imagine what his family is going through.

His name is Luke. He likes the things a normal almost-7-year-old would like: riding his bike, doing sports, playing with his friends, building with Legos, playing PS2. He is artistic and loves to sing worship songs.

He's just a little boy, and he has leukemia. He's been in the Excellent Children's Hospital (the same one Baby E goes to for her specialists) for a couple of weeks already, and they're expecting him to be there for another 6 weeks or so.

A friend of the family shared this story about what he said when someone asked little Luke what he would like:

He replied with two answers. He said that he wanted "100....no 500 prayers." Then he said that "before he left the hospital he wanted a needle so that he could give every doctor a shot." Well, I don't think there's much we can do about the shots, but we can give him 500 prayers.

The prayers are being collected at a blog called 500 Prayers for Luke. There are plans to make a poster with the names of all the people who are praying for Luke.

I know we can get 500.

I'm praying for his complete healing, and for his family (especially Luke, his parents and his two siblings) during the process of chemotherapy, hospitalization, and treatments.

Good Things

Some really good things have been happening this week with some of our ongoing concerns.

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Baby E really does seem to be growing out of (or being healed from) her food allergies. It's so nice to be able to give her more of the same things the big kids are eating, like the sunflower butter we had tonight (which contained small amounts of a soy derivative).

The really amazing thing is that for the past week we've been feeding Baby E things with tiny amounts of highly-refined corn derivatives in them. Nothing with actual corn protein in it yet, but things like yeast and vitamins grown on corn, or "natural flavors" extracted in corn-derived distilled alcohol. Several of the foods she's been eating are things we've tried previously (some several different times) and she was not able to tolerate them. But so far she's been eating them for a week and seems to be doing fine.

She's had a few things like a little blister on her lip and what looked like it might have been the beginnings of excema on her cheeks, but they seem to have been just random and incidental. We've been keeping a close eye on her, but nothing has worsened or developed into anything significant so far.

Her stools have been perfectly solid for the past week and a half, with the exception of one moderately soft BM after eating apples one day. The diarrhea and mucous are gone.

So far it seems that if we keep the levels of various sugars relatively low, she does fine with things like bananas and even tiny amounts of other sugars. I'm wondering more and more if the sugar issue may actually be secondary to something else, and may be a significant problem only when something else damages her digestive system. We haven't tried anything high in sulfites again yet.

It's very exciting to be adding corn derivatives and not seeing reactions. Wow. We'll give it another few weeks before we really call it a success, but we're really excited about the possibility of being able to stop worrying about non-protein-containing corn derivatives. That would open up a huge world of food options for Baby E even if she never gets to the point where she can actually have corn protein.

But, really, the best news is that AJ has been a lot better the last few days. Monday and Tuesday she had tons of meltdowns and was acting extremely grumpy and depressed, as she has most of the time lately. Tuesday morning through early afternoon was particularly awful--she must have averaged a meltdown per hour, sometimes moving straight from one into the next without even a break between them, just a change of themes. I thought I was going to go crazy right along with her. She did cheer up quite a bit when we went to play with a friend that afternoon, though.

Wednesday was the morning we saw the doctor and he told us to take the kids off milk. (I don't think she'd had any dairy products since Monday, but she'd had a lot the few days before.)

That afternoon everyone except AJ fell asleep at nap/quiet time and slept for a long time. AJ ended up spending 3 hours playing by herself in her room. I would have thought she might have woken me up or been frustrated at having such an unusually long quiet time, but not AJ. She was thrilled. She came out of her room so relaxed, happy and affectionate that it made me realize that frequently letting the kids skip quiet time over the last several weeks has probably not been good for her. She really needs that alone time to calm herself and recharge.

Thursday AJ was still quite mopey and grumpy (she didn't even want to help bake an apple pie when Morning came over), but she didn't have any major meltdowns. She even managed to swing on the swingset with M&M without getting upset for the first time in many weeks. She actually had fun swinging and came in happy!

Friday was interesting . . . she was whiny and grumpy in the morning, and still complained a lot, but it was less intense and shorter-lived. At that point I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, sure she would dissolve into meltdowns and full depression mode again any moment. But by late Friday afternoon (after quiet time) she was much more sunny and cheerful.

One particularly surprising thing was that there was a dramatic improvement in her handwriting, literally overnight. Writing is frustrating and difficult for her--easily the task she hates the most in any given day.

With math she usually has problems writing particular numbers--they take effort and thought, and she usually writes them backwards or in large, jerky, uncertain movements (lately, often complaining all the time). She knows the math and can do it, but really hates the writing part. I've been letting her do a lot of her work orally or skip many of the questions just to cut down on the frustration for her.

But Friday early evening she (voluntarily!) sat down and cheerfully, quickly and easily finished a page of math she had been whining and complaining about and struggling over just the day before. To my amazement she easily, precisely and beautifully made small, controlled numbers--the very numbers that had been large, jerky and difficult for her earlier in the week. I was so flabbergasted that I had to call and tell my mom.

It was such an odd, random thing. Is This Your Child? by Doris Rapp talks about food allergies/intolerances affecting handwriting, and it reminded me a lot of the before and after pictures in that book. Of course, I'm sure that an improvement in mood alone could have the same effect. I hadn't expected to see anything like that, though, and it will be interesting to see if she continues to show such significant improvement this week. I know it sounds crazy, but I showed the page to DH and he could see the difference too.

There were a number of instances over the next few days which definitely would have triggered a meltdown a few days earlier (sometimes even the exact same issues she'd been having regular meltdowns about), but which she was able to take in stride or even laugh about. Her mood gradually continued to improve. She had only one or two episodes of crying loudly about something, which resolved themselves within 5 minutes and didn't come anywhere close to the level of the meltdowns she'd been having over the last few months.

She has continued improving since Friday. She's been so much happier, more interactive, more expressive, and generally more enjoyable to be around. She's taking things in stride or getting over them so much more quickly rather than having huge meltdowns or obsessing over them. It hasn't been a complete change, but she's improved so much.

Tonight the five of us played Apples to Apples Junior and it was a huge giggle-fest. The girls were rolling on the floor laughing hysteically at the cards they and everyone else picked. Even Baby E got in on the action, picking random cards to throw into the mix and giggling along with everyone else.

M&M has been a bit more whiny and grumpy than normal since getting her shots on Wednesday, but that's to be expected as sore as her arms have been. Her arms are finally getting over being sore now, so that should help. I hope to go shopping tomorrow to find her some shoes with better arch support after we meet with the therapist.

She's still generally cheery. Every night as I kiss them goodnight I've been asking the kids what the worst and best thing about their day was. Almost every night M&M's immediate response is, "Everything was best about today, and nothing was worst. I loved today." Then she'll start listing the things she liked best.

Baby E has been mostly sunshiny and healthy this week, but I do think she's cutting some teeth. All of a sudden the last few days everything is going in her mouth. She hasn't put random things in her mouth for ages, so I'm expecting to see some new teeth coming through soon.

I wonder if AJ may be a lot like me. When I don't feel well I really struggle not to "shut down". When I feel really bad I hurt all over and have trouble functioning. Even someone touching or talking to me can be painful or irritating--a shout or an unexpected touch can feel almost like an ambush. My preference during those times would be to avoid nearly all interaction and go into zombie mode or just sleep. I have to work very hard to make myself function, make eye contact with people, interact, smile, and not act too grumpy or weepy. It feels like my brain fogs over. Everything seems overwhelming and I have to work extremely hard to keep from reacting to my emotions going haywire.

I know that for me various things can affect my level of fuctioning--allergies, stress, getting adequate water and good nutrition, the amount of sleep I'm getting, my chronic health issues flaring up--all sorts of things. Even as an adult it's hard enough to control myself and act relatively normal when I feel that way. If she's experiencing anything close to that, it must be even harder for her as a 6-year-old.

Friday at lunch AJ told me that she thought bread was hurting her tummy and she didn't want to eat it any more. I was a bit suprised, but said that was fine if she wanted to try it. I've been making a point to provide gluten-free options for her since then. I neglected to tell DH, though, so he did feed the kids wheat a couple of times this weekend.

The older girls have had quite a few stomachaches and diarrhea this week even since we took them off dairy products, so it will be interesting to see if the GI issues resolve or not with a little more time off dairy and gluten. Since I'll be cooking gluten-free meals for AJ, I'll encourage M&M to try going gluten-free to see if it helps her tummyaches too.

AJ also said that apples made her tummy hurt, so I'm not sure if both bother her or if she's just guessing. It's quite possible that the sugars in the apples may bother her, either on their own or as a secondary issue if something else is upsetting her digestion.

Of course, food is only one of many factors that have changed recently. It may not even be a cause of AJ's improvement.

Here are a few other things that may be helping:


• We've asked a lot of people to pray for our family, and they have. We've been praying a lot ourselves, too. I firmly believe that makes a big difference.



• Over the last few weeks we've gotten the kids into a number of structured, scheduled, predictable social activities, including weekly home group meetings, AWANA, Sunday School (which we were already doing), and the homeschool co-op. We're also going to try to schedule playdates with various friends on a particular afternoon each week (midway between the other activities) to make it more predictable for the kids whenever possible.



• We're being more consistent about quiet time. It had gotten sporadic. I think that was bad--both because of the unpredictability, and just that the kids were often missing the rest and recharging time they needed (it's usually much shorter than 3 hours though!).



• We've moved the kids around so that AJ has a room to herself at night. Everyone seems to be happier and getting better sleep that way. Baby E and M&M are enjoying sharing a room most nights. I'm not sure whether we'll end up having the two younger girls share indefinitely, or switching things around so they each have their own room, which would mean losing a room dedicated to just being a playroom or an office. (Yes, we live in a wonderful big house that my dad built for us.)



• We're making a point to put the kids to bed earlier and start the bedtime routine earlier so we can take longer with it.



• We've revamped bedtime to make the routine more relaxing and predictable for the kids. DH and I have agreed on a routine and a specific set of nurturing/winding down activities that we do the same way every night, and that he and I both do the same way when we switch off so that it's predictable for the kids. That seems to be really helpful for them.



• We usually read part of a chapter book and/or Bible story at bedtime (right now we're reading Little House on Rocky Ridge) and pray with the kids. I was reading to and praying with them in the rocking chair most of the time. DH would often read and pray while they laid in their beds. Sometimes part or all of it would get skipped. Putting all the variables together it was all a bit sporadic.
  
  But recently DH decided to start sitting in the rocking chair with the kids to read the Bible and pray with them every night as part of their bedtime routine. They really enjoy snuggling up together in the rocking chair and having devotional time together, and Baby E and I often join them. If DH isn't home for bedtime, I do it the same way. (I also read a Bible story to the kids in the mornings while they color a related picture as part of school). The chapter book will sometimes get skipped if it's late, but we've agreed not to skip the cuddling up in the chair for Bible reading and prayer even if it's late. Being more consistent with that has been great for all of us.



• I think we've found the right balance between relaxed flexibility and structure with homeschooling. The kids and I are enjoying the program we've picked, and the fact that it includes lots of library books and hands-on activities and very little textbook time.



• We're also giving the kids extra warning and transition time between activities and when changing from one place or activity to another.



• We're continuing to make more progress, as well, with getting the house organized and keeping things consistent and predictable in other areas.



• As always, of course, we're loading the kids up with as much love and attention as we can. We've tried to be especially intentional about this lately.



• We've always made a point to have special times alone with each of the kids, but we've recently increased the frequency and will try to increase the predictability of our "dates" with the girls.



• In the last few weeks we've had an unusually high number of significant conversations with the kids, that have seemed to really mean a lot to them.

The conversations we've been having lately have been especially good.

For example, one day AJ asked me who I loved the most in our family. I said that I didn't love anyone more or less than anyone else, but I loved each person in a unique way because they were all special in different ways. Then we spent a long time talking about a number of things that were special about each person. DH and I both told the kids several things that we thought were special about each of them, and then we encouraged them to share what they thought was special about each other. The kids, of course, totally soaked that up. That conversation has continued off and on in different ways over the last week or two.

The kids never get tired of hearing us tell them things that we think are special about them, and it seems that every few months they go through periods of needing to hear it an extra lot.

Another day I was telling the kids that they shouldn't sit at or take things off each others' desks without asking.

AJ said, "I shouldn't have taken Baby E's crayons and used them without asking. That was a bad thing I did. Does that mean God is mad at me and won't love me any more or let me into Heaven, and I'll have to go to Hell?"

"No! Even when you do things you shouldn't, God will never ever stop loving you, just like Mommy and Daddy never stop loving you no matter what you do. We all sin, and we don't deserve to go to Heaven, because of course nothing bad can be in Heaven. Hell is being separated from God, you know, because our sin separates us from God. We don't want to be separated from God forever, do we? No.

But that's why God sent Jesus--to pay for our sins and take the punishment for us. That way our sin doesn't have to separate us from God.

Remember the verse we learned from John 3:16, 'For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life'? Yeah, that was your AWANA verse too. Romans 10:9 also says, 'If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, and if you will believe in your heart God raised Him from the dead, than you shall be saved.'

Remember when you told God that you believed in Jesus and wanted him to take charge of your life and forgive your sins? He did!

That means that Jesus has already paid the price for everything bad you've ever done or will do. He already took care of it! So the best part is that when God looks at you, he doesn't even see your sin--He only sees that Jesus's blood has washed you clean and taken your sins away. He doesn't look at you and see the bad things you do--He only sees good, because Jesus has taken care of it. He sees Jesus's goodness and sinlessness when He looks at you. Isn't that great?

We choose to obey God and do the right things because we love Him and we want to please Him, but once we believe in Him and accept His payment for our sin then we don't ever have to worry about being separated from God in Hell. He's already forgiven our sins."

She was very interested in that, and asked a lot of questions. The conversation really seemed to ease her mind and encourage her.

M&M got really excited, too, and said that she wanted to talk to God and tell Him that she believed God and wanted Jesus to take away her sins and be Lord of her life, too, like AJ did a year or two ago.

That is exciting for us. I know not all of my readers share our faith (and you may not have even gotten this far in this post :)), but for us this is a huge deal, and we believe it's the foundation for deep peace and joy throughout life. So we're thrilled that our kids are embracing the Lord. It's the very best thing we could ever wish for them.

Home Group

This week we had our second week of AWANA, first week of the homeschool Co-op, and second week of the new format with our home group.

We've changed our home group to a time and place that allows everyone to bring their kids along instead of having to either get a babysitter or keep the kids up way past their bedtimes. Instead of having to pay sitters, the parents are taking turns watching the kids.

This week we tried having all the kids in with the adults for the worship time, then having an adult (me this week) take the kids up to the playroom and play with them/supervise their play during the Bible Study, and then the babies and adults join together for prayer time while the older kids watch a video and/or continue playing by themselves.

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The kids LOVE having social time with each other and getting to come to home group instead of being left home with a babysitter. They all play very well together and enjoy spending time with each other.

The changes in schedule and format have made the meeting much more convenient for everyone, which has resulted in the group's size doubling almost all at once. Two families who had been in the group but had to drop out because of scheduling/childcare issues are going to be coming back, and another new family is joining.

Tonight we had 8 adults and 8 kids; with the extra folks joining in the next couple of weeks we'll have 12 adults and 13 kids. When all the kids are here we'll have two adults in charge of child-wrangling each week, rotating it so we all take turns.

We started meeting at our house again this week, just because it's the most conducive setup for a group this size.

The meeting went very well. I had activities and a story planned for the kids, but they were all having so much fun just playing together that I didn't even end up using them. I did feed the kids "ants on a log"--celery sticks with sunflower butter spread in the hollow and raisins sprinkled on top. Some of the kids declined to try them, but the rest--including all three of my kids--loved them and kept asking for more.

We all came to the end of the group meeting excited that we get to do this every week. We prayed tonight that God would use the group meetings to grow both our knowledge of and relationship with God, and our relationships with each other. I think He is already answering that prayer.

Sunday Service . . . Service Sunday

We've been studying the early church in Acts at our community church recently. It's led to some interesting applications as we try to be more like the early church in unity and purpose.

Today, in lieu of a normal church service, we had "service Sunday". After a few songs and a very brief message about how Jesus taught that he who wishes to be great in the kingdom of Heaven must be servant of all, they put us all to work actually serving others. (The plan had been announced ahead of time, so we all came prepared to work.)

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Various groups went out into the community--both to church family members and to the neighborhoods surrounding the church--to serve. Some of the tasks included helping at shelters, nursing homes, and other ministries; delivering needed items that had been donated or purchased with money from the special offering last week; doing house and yard work for people in the community; cleaning up a local park; and picking up trash along the roadside.

DH, the kids and I joined one of the groups picking up trash. The kids worked hard and enjoyed themselves; especially since they got to wear gloves--very exciting. I commented to one of the other adults that it's fun to do a project like that with children, because they actually get excited about the things they find. With small children, it's not just picking up trash--it's a veritable treasure hunt.

"A bottle! Look! Wow!"

"What's this? It's weally neat looking. It's sort of like a wire or something. Is it a wire? I think it's a wire."

"Ooh, a Coca-Cola can! Why did somebody throw a Coca-Cola can out here? That wasn't very nice of them, was it?"

I think a task like that is really good for the kids (and adults, too) on more than one level. We had opportunities to talk about all sorts of topics from serving and others, to helping keep the world clean and beautiful, to why it's important to pick up after ourselves and not leave trash behind.

It was fun to get to work with some others from church that we hadn't spent much time with before, too. One of the ladies that was on our team is even another blogger.

The photos above were taken after the trash pick-up was over, while everyone was standing around eating snacks. I had fully intended to take photos during the project, but I ended up having my hands full with picking up trash and trying to keep Baby E out of the street. :)