10 Little Jars and 3 Little Girls

Well, I finally finished the last batch of grape jam last night. 5 batches yielded 10 little half-pint jars of jam, plus an extra half-jar that we've mostly eaten already. It was really a lot of work for a little bit of jam, but it sure tastes good. I learned a lot about jam-making in the process.

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I think making pectin- and sugar-free jam out of Concord grapes was a rather challenging task to choose for my first major canning project. But, as DH said, "We don't know anyone who tends to learn to swim by jumping in at the deep end, do we?" :)

I'll post instructions on my food blog when I get a chance.

Now I just have the grape juice to can. I think it will be much easier, since I don't have to cook it down to the jelling point. I'll just have to let it sit for another day or so, then strain out the tartrate crystals (a.k.a. cream of tartar) and then heat it to 180 degrees and can it. Then I'll start working on the apples.

DH and I have also been making some progress on getting the house and yard clean and organized. This weekend DH raked up leaves and I hired a neighbor boy to mow the lawn, and this afternoon I'm having a teenage girl come over to help with some housework (my kitchen floor definitely needs mopping after making jam!).

My hope is to get things all squared away in time to decorate for Christmas. Last year things were so crazy that we didn't even do that. I'm looking forward to making a doll nativity scene again with the girls. We really loved doing that the two years we put one up.

Here are photos of the two previous Nativity scenes. I'm hoping to find another boy doll to play Joseph this year, to better match the 37" Pamela Erff "Kerri" doll who plays Mary.





Marie Claire by Monica Levenig, who played Joseph the first year, is 27" tall. Sebastian by Pamela Erff, who played Joseph the second year, is actually an inch or so taller than Marie Claire, but he is thinner and has skinnier arms and legs, so a doll built like Marie actually looks bigger (and more proportional with Kerri) than Sebastian does.



I keep wondering if one of the Peter-Leicht big girls that I like so much would work redressed as a boy. :) I've been watching this cute little (big) Levenig guy, but DH doesn't like the idea of a blonde-blue-eyed Joseph. :)

Meanwhile, Baby E has been wanting to nurse a lot today after having waned down to about 3 times a day the last several days. She's been in full-out tantrum/fussy/clingy/whiny mode. Hopefully we won't have too much trouble getting the rest of school done today.

Grapes

My friend Morning, the kids and I went out to my dad's property again this week and picked grapes. Most of them were gone, but in the section of vines that was still unpicked the grapes were at least as thick as the leaves. Amazing.

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The grapes were starting to mold on the vine, so we picked as many of the good ones as we could. We filled the turkey roaster, my big stock pot, a huge soup toureen, and a few other containers. We also filled a couple of big tupperware containers with apples.

I've been spending every spare moment the last few days sorting and washing grapes. I made one batch of jam, but had to refrigerate it uncanned since my old canner turned out to be too corroded to use. Another batch of grapes I cooked and put through the food mill, but haven't cooked down into jam yet. I'll be making one more batch of jam out of the cracked-but-still-good grapes, and then the rest of the perfect grapes I'm going to can as just plain juice.

Making jam without sugar or pectin takes a lot more cooking and gives a smaller yield, but the flavor is rich and the jam is eventually thickening beautifully. I think that, technically, what I'm making is grape butter. It's satisfying to know that I did it myself and that there's absolutely nothing but grapes in it.

I spent most of today driving from store to store trying to find a flat-bottomed hot water canner to buy. I finally found one at the 6th or 7th store I tried--in the clearance section at about 75% off the original price. :) I'd bought a food mill, the Ball Blue book, and some other canning supplies earlier in the week, so I think I'm finally all set now.

Once the jam is done, I'll be making applesauce. We'll probably go back and pick more apples and can some apple juice and apple jelly or jam as well. I think the apples will be a lot easier because they're much easier to skin and de-seed.

I had no idea this would be so labor-intensive, but hopefully we'll get some good canned goods out of it. The jam will certainly be cheaper than the expensive corn-free fruit preserves we usually buy. :)

Now I must get back to work.

Tibet coloring page

We're just wrapping up our study of China, and currently we're doing a mini-unit on Tibet. For each place we study I'm having the kids color a picture of the flag.

I couldn't find a line drawing of the old (now forbidden) Tibetan flag, so I made my own. It's not perfect, but it works. Half the sites I saw had the ying-yang symbol horizontal and the rest had it vertical, so I'm not sure which is really correct or whether it matters.

I uploaded my flag of Tibet coloring page as a PDF file here if you need a full-sized copy.

Signature

Notes

• Puff died today. Poor little thing. She lived to a ripe old age for a hamster, I guess, but the kids are pretty upset.



• We did get a bed for the kids this weekend. We managed to find a floor model solid wood bunk bed, twin over full with a trundle bed, for just slightly more than we would have spent on three box springs. It was marked waay down. Hooray! The kids love it. If I can find my camera I'll post pictures soon.



• I'm still sick. Cold/allergy/flu/weather-change season, I guess. At least the cough I've had for 5 or 6 weeks finally seems to be getting better today, and the worst of the cold seems to be subsiding. The FMS/CFS always seems to flare up at times like this, ugh. Nobody else had the cold as severely as I did or for more than a few days, so that's good.



• I can't believe it's almost the end of October already. Where did the year go? I'm happy, though, that I've already got most of my holiday shopping done. Since my parents and sisters don't celebrate Christmas, we exchange gifts with my side of the family at Thanksgiving instead. I found something rather special for gifts for several of them already, with a unique signature touch. :)
  
  I also found a ton of Lincoln logs at a thrift store for almost nothing. I've been wanting to get the kids some of those for a long time, but they're so expensive and you'd have to buy several kits to make it worthwhile. This way I can buy just one kit to get the roof pieces and that sort of thing, and the kids will have tons of extra logs and windows to use with them. AJ will particularly enjoy that, I think. She really likes building and assembling things. I think I'll also get AJ some art supplies, and maybe even an easel, since artistic endeavors are so important to her right now. I want to do what I can to support her love of art.
  
  And, I have Baby E's gift . . . it was so perfect for her that I just couldn't pass it up. Shhh . . . don't tell . . . it's a Mr. Potato Head playset. Those things have come a long way since I was a kid. Now they have all sorts of different kits and outfits you can buy to add more variety. Since E so much loves putting together the little bugs in our Cooties game, I thought this would be the perfect thing for her.
  
  M&M says that she wants a doll in a light pink dress with hair the same color as her own, but we haven't decided on one for her yet. She really likes this one, but it won't be available until January. She really loves the higher-end collectible dolls, but . . . well. She has good taste, that girl. :) Both AJ and M&M really like reading the Magic Attic and American Girl books, so I might see if I can find something similar to those dolls on sale.
  
  It's fun that the girls are enjoying dolls. Baby E and M&M especially love to cuddle and hold them, and AJ likes to redress and rearrange them. Now that the girls are old enough to enjoy the collector dolls and be careful with them, I'm enjoying them more again too. I know which one (or which of two) I'd choose if I could pick any doll to add to my collection, but I'm happy to just look at pictures and enjoy the ones I have right now.

Cognitive Dissonance

Baby E just walked up to me, holding out the remnants of her breakfast, and said, "Mom, may I put duh bwanna peew inna bed?"

Her pronunciation is still such that it often takes me a few moments to figure out what she actually said, so I paused for a moment before it clicked.

"Oh, no, honey. Let's not put the banana peel in the bed. You can put it in the trash can, right here. Thank you."

"Puddit in dis twash can? Otay. Fanks."

My 26-month-old can barely pronounce words legibly, but she sure knows how to structure a sentence.

Call for reader advice--buying mattresses?

We need to buy new mattresses for the kids . . . the ones the older girls have been sleeping on are some my family had when I was a kid, that my parents have let us use. They're getting pretty old and uncomfortable. Baby E is wanting to sleep in a big bed like the older girls, too.

DH and I don't know much about buying new mattresses. I was wondering if anyone had any good tips for buying mattresses--what to look for, where to shop, etc.

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We want to get the mattresses new, although eventually we'd like to get some nice frames or headboards too, and would be open to getting those used. (We really like the bunkbeds with bookcases in the headboards that can be converted to single beds, and the railing would be nice for the 2yo even if we didn't have it set up as a bunkbed, so I'll be keeping an eye out for something like that in good used condition.) Most likely we're looking at just twin size mattresses for all three girls.

Anyway, I've seen new mattresses at the Goodwill . . . I imagine they are donated from stores that have overstock and don't sell them all, or something like that. Has anyone ever bought one of those?

Does anyone have a particular brand of mattress to recommend that's good quality but not too expensive?

Also, do we need a new box spring too, or would the new top mattress be sufficient? How do I tell if the box spring is wearing out and needs to be replaced?

Another consideration is that I have dust mite allergies, so I'm thinking it might help minimize allergens in the house to just get new box springs too, and put dust mite covers on everything before we use any of the new stuff.

TIA if anyone has any experience to share!

Sugar Intolerance Information

[To skip the technical stuff and go straight to the update about Baby E, click here.]

I've gotten a number of comments and e-mails from people who have or suspect some sort of sugar intolerance or malabsorption in themselves or their children.

I thought I'd put up a post sharing some of the best resources I've come across and what little I've learned so far on the topic. If anyone reading knows of other good resources, please feel free to post them in the comments.

Obviously, I'm no expert, so if you see any errors in this post please let me know. I'm just sharing what little I've learned by reading articles posted on the internet and talking with people who have been diagnosed with various conditions.

One thing to know is that there are many different types of sugar intolerance. These can vary drastically in severity of symptoms, as well as in the foods tolerated.

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The various sugar malabsorptions or intolerances can coexist with each other, can be affected by each other, can be secondary to (caused by) other issues (such as food allergies, celiac disease or anything that damages the digestive system), or can be misdiagnosed as each other (for instance, other sugar intolerances are fairly frequently initially suspected or diagnosed as lactose intolerance). Problems digesting sugars can be either inherited or acquired later in life, and depending on the cause they can be temporary or permanent. They can be caused by multiple factors--possibly including an imbalance of intestinal flora, a genetic defect, lack of certain digestive enzymes, intestinal damage, various diseases, or a number of other causes.

Problems with sugars can include lactose intolerance, hereditary fructose intolerance, fructose malabsorption, trehalose intolerance, glucose-galactose malabsorption, congenital sucrase-isomaltase deficiency (a.k.a. disaccharide intolerance I), and more. According to this article, "There are more than 30 less-common human diseases which cause malabsorption of one or more nutrients" [including sugars].

Some notes to be aware of:


• Sugar malabsorption can be linked to or misdiganosed as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) or other functional bowel diseases.



• People with fructose malabsorption can usually tolerate sucrose or other foods with equal amounts of glucose (a.k.a. dextrose) and fructose. (Sucrose is equal parts glucose and fructose bonded together.) Apparently somehow the presence of glucose assists in fructose absorption for people with fructose malabsorption.



• People with hereditary fructose intolerance cannot tolerate fructose in any form, whether glucose is present along with it or not. This means that they also cannot tolerate sucrose, since it breaks down into fructose and glucose.



• For many people with a fructose issue, fructans are also a problem. Fructans are not technically a sugar, but they are long chains of fructose molecules and therefore cause problems for many who cannot tolerate fructose. Some of the foods high in fructans include onions, leeks, artichokes, asparagus, green beans, and a number of other foods.



• People with CSID cannot tolerate sucrose, but many can handle foods with 1 gram or less sucrose per 100 grams. There is a supplemental enzyme that helps some CSID patients to digest small amounts of sucrose. CSID involves the digestion of starches and maltose (the sugar found in grains) as well as sucrose. There are various groups of people with CSID--some can't handle starch at all, while others can tolerate various amounts. The tolerance of things like honey can vary, too.



• Some people with problems tolerating various sugars may also have issues with artificial sugar substitutes, sugar alcohols (anything ending in -itol), oligosaccharides (fructo-oligosaccharides [FOS], inulin, chicory, etc.) and polysaccharides (fructans, gums, etc.). Many of those substances are difficult to digest anyway, so they can cause increased discomfort in someone with digestive problems.

Here are a few resources I've found that might be helpful:

Dietary Carbohydrate Consumption. This page explains some of the chemistry behind the different types of sugars and starches, as well as giving some examples of foods which contain each type of saccharide.

Fructose Malabsorption Australia Yahoo! group--these people are very helpful and nice. They have a bunch of information in the "files" section on recommended diets, and can answer questions too. They can give lots of information about fructans and how they affect people with fructose malabsorption.

USDA food database--you can search for a food here, and in many cases it will tell you the amounts of each type of sugar in that food, along with other nutritional information.

Chart of sugar content of various foods (PDF).

CSID information site--this is about sucrose-isomaltose intolerance, but is helpful for general sugar intolerance information as well. They a lot of helpful information about sugar intolerance and also some charts of the sugar and starch content of various foods.

I would not recommend embarking on a diet of trying to exclude sugars without help and advice from a doctor and/or nutritionist or dietician. With the possible exception of lactose (milk sugar) intolerance and maybe trehalose (mushroom sugar) intolerance, these conditions are not easy to self-diagnose and the required diets can be difficult or impossible to follow without becoming nutritionally compromised. You need help from people who know what they are doing.

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[The rest of this post is an update on Baby E's possible sugar intolerance issues.]

We still haven't figured out yet exactly what's going on with Baby E with regards to a possible sugar intolerance of some sort.

Initially our GI specialist (the nurse practitioner) diagnosed Baby E with lactose intolerance. This was based on a postive reducing substances test she had while consuming fruits and small amounts of other sugars, but very little dairy (she'd had a small amount of yogurt one to three days earlier). The GI specialist diagnosed lactose intolerance even though E had no symptoms and a negative reducing substances test when consuming breastmilk and removing fruits and added sugars from her diet.

After we had added and removed dairy products several times, it seemed clear that lactose was not the sugar causing Baby E's issues. So I called the GI specialist to tell her (yet again) that lactose did not seem to be the issue. We felt that fruits and possibly other natural sugar sources were triggering E's symptoms.

At that point the GI specialist told us to try removing "all sugars" from Baby E's diet for several weeks to see if that helped with her malabsorption symptoms, and then reintroduce foods one at a time to try to figure out which sugar was causing the symptoms. But she didn't tell us how strict we needed to be about this or what to feed Baby E instead. Since we had already removed added sugars and knew that Baby E's symptoms were being caused by things like small amounts of whole fruit, the initial recommendation of just taking out things like table sugar and corn syrup (which she wasn't eating anyway) obviously wasn't going to do the trick.

Since essentially everything that grows out of the ground contains sugars of some kind, eliminating all sugars is next to impossible. We could probably eliminate fructose, sucrose and lactose completely by giving Baby E nothing but meat and eggs. But I would never try this without a really compelling reason, very specific instructions and good follow-up from a doctor.

I have called the GI specialist several times to ask exactly what we should feed Baby E, and whether we should try to keep the amounts of various sugars below a certain number of grams per dose (for instance, 2 grams or less of sucrose per 100 grams of food) or whether we actually needed to completely remove all sugars from her diet. I said that if we were going to remove sugars, I would need a list of exactly what to avoid and/or what to feed her for the duration of the trial.

At this point I've left a number of messages over a period of many weeks, and still haven't heard back. Meanwhile Baby E is still having intermittent GI symptoms, but these seem to be mostly mild as long as we limit the quantities of sugars in her diet and avoid corn. Thankfully the extreme watery diarrhea and huge amounts of mucous she was having a few weeks ago has not returned. We're still not sure if there was a sulfite issue, virus or something else causing the extreme symptoms, but I'm happy that she's back to just intermittent diarrhea and mostly mild to moderate discomfort similar to what the rest of the family has.

The GI specialist's nurse did finally tell me, when I happened to catch her with one phone call, that the GI specialist we see (the nurse practitioner) is doing research to try to figure out the answer to my question. She hasn't forgotten about me; she just doesn't know what to tell me.

It's rather frustrating that the GI specialist would recommend making specific dietary modifications but be unable (even weeks or months later) to give guidance or answer questions about how to do that.

Meanwhile, months go by while we make little to no progress in figuring out what is causing the symptoms and why Baby E's reducing substances tests were positive.

Thankful Thursday 10/11/07

Today I'm thankful:


• That M&M finally decided to participate in the games at AWANA, and decided that she enjoyed them!



• That DH does so much of the grocery shopping, and that he stopped on the way home for some necessities tonight.



• That the illness running through our family seems to be just a bad cold.



• That we're still enjoying Galloping the Globe in our homeschool.



• That all the kids finally fell asleep, and now I can go to bed too. :)

Wordless Wednesday: AJ's Quiet Time

500 Prayers

A little boy in AJ's class at our church has just been diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. I can't even imagine what his family is going through.

His name is Luke. He likes the things a normal almost-7-year-old would like: riding his bike, doing sports, playing with his friends, building with Legos, playing PS2. He is artistic and loves to sing worship songs.

He's just a little boy, and he has leukemia. He's been in the Excellent Children's Hospital (the same one Baby E goes to for her specialists) for a couple of weeks already, and they're expecting him to be there for another 6 weeks or so.

A friend of the family shared this story about what he said when someone asked little Luke what he would like:

He replied with two answers. He said that he wanted "100....no 500 prayers." Then he said that "before he left the hospital he wanted a needle so that he could give every doctor a shot." Well, I don't think there's much we can do about the shots, but we can give him 500 prayers.

The prayers are being collected at a blog called 500 Prayers for Luke. There are plans to make a poster with the names of all the people who are praying for Luke.

I know we can get 500.

I'm praying for his complete healing, and for his family (especially Luke, his parents and his two siblings) during the process of chemotherapy, hospitalization, and treatments.

The Great Wall of China

We studied the Great Wall of China yesterday. The kids built this today.

Artistry

Here are photos of some of the kids' recent artwork.

Our refrigerator looks like this:



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Next is AJ's public service announcement, painted after she saw a skit about tooth care at the homeschool co-op. She wants to make copies of it and post it in all the grocery stores and other public places she can find. I'm going to see if maybe there's some way we can get it displayed at the next co-op meeting.



The walls are getting covered in paintings, too:



And here are some of the paintings from the last few days that haven't found a place to hang yet:



Baby E and I both have pretty nasty colds at the moment. AJ made me this card this morning. How can I not feel better with get-well wishes like this?

Bandage Removal

Our big event of the day, so far, was that I finally managed to get the last bandage from M&M's shots off her arm. Yes, the shots she had 12 days ago.

I don't know how that third bandage managed to cling to her arm through baths, getting dressed and undressed, and M&M's active play for so long, but somehow it did.

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The shots and the sore arm were healed days ago, and the other two bandages fell off rather quickly. But that Tweety Bird bandage remained like the last leaf clinging against all odds. It was dangling by one end, still the source of much anxiety for M&M.

She screamed in seeming agony if we so much as tried to touch it. Any suggestion that we just pull it off was met with panicked protests. Every time she got dressed or undressed was an ordeal of trying not to touch the bandage with her sleeve and cries that it HURT.

I tried to explain that it would feel so much better if we just took it off, and I would be careful to hurt her as little as possible and then it would be all gone and we just wouldn't have to worry about it. But she acted as though she would be utterly traumatized if I so much as attempted to touch it.

DH and I left it alone, figuring it would soon fall off on its own. By this morning it was still firmly attached at one end, the dangling end causing more discomfort and pulling than if we'd just ripped it off.

I was very tired, by this point, of the daily drama about getting dressed. So, as she panicked and squirmed while I eased her nightgown over her head, I had an idea. I suggested that we tie a wet cloth around her arm and soak the bandage for a long time until it came off by itself. She liked that idea. So I secured a wet paper towel around her arm with packing tape.

After 30 minutes or more, the paper towel was falling off, so I removed it, hoping the bandage would come off with it. No such luck. The blue strip of plastic remained firmly attached to her skin. I wonder what kind of adhesive they used on the thing, anyway?

More drama ensued as M&M again refused to let me touch the bandage, even to see how loose it was. Finally I suggested that I at least cut off the dangly part so it would stop pulling on her arm at the stuck point. She agreed to this. As I took hold of the bandage, I could tell it was really quite loose.

"Look," I said, nudging it with the scissors. "See how loose it is? If we just jiggle it a bit . . . see? See how it's coming off?"

She craned her neck to see and giggled a bit, so I used the scissors to gently ease the sticky plastic off her skin. Somehow touching the bandage with the tip of the scissors was less scary to her than touching it with my hands, I guess. Fine; I could work with that. Slowly, gently . . . There! It was done. M&M and I both sighed with relief.

DH commented later, "I don't know why that was such a big deal for her. M&M must have really sensitive skin."

Yes, right along with her extremely sensitive sense of hearing, taste and smell. She's the child in our family most easily overwhelmed by any loud noise, funny smell, or strong sensory input of any kind.

I still remember how as a tiny infant she would often get so worked up when she got hungry that it would take me 20 minutes of soothing to get her calm enough to nurse. Anyone talking near her with a slightly deep or raspy voice would set her crying--poor dad. :)

And then there's Baby E, who strongly believes that doors should be closed, and spent a great deal of time and effort trying to close a faux door in an exhibit at the zoo this weekend.

She also is convinced that all armrests in the van (including the ones on DH's and my seats) must be DOWN at all times. Definitely! We don't accommodate her on that one, since DH and I both prefer the armrests up and out of the way. She has spent a fair chunk of the last several car rides insisting fruitlessly that we need to put our armrests down.

It's interesting learning each child's individual needs, challenges and just plain quirks. The hard part is trying to figure out when and how much to stretch them out of their comfort zone and how much and when to accommodate their peculiarities.

Before I had kids, I never imagined I'd have this much patience for this sort of thing.

Whizzing Through Math

M&M is finishing the last page of her math book . . . the book that was supposed to last her through the first half of the school year.

She's yelling excitedly as she does each problem, "Mom! Three plus five is eight! AJ, did you know that three plus three is six? And look! Four plus six is TEN! Wow!"

She finished the book in less than half the amount of time it was supposed to take, even with me telling her she had to stop before she wanted to almost every day.

AJ, too, is finally seeming to enjoy her math workbook again.

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AJ is doing much better with her writing the last week or so, and isn't getting so bogged down by the difficulty of writing the numbers. She can do the calculations quickly and easily enough in her head, and now that she's getting less frustrated with translating that to paper she is seeming to enjoy it more.

She much prefers doing story problems orally, though. The other day M&M sat down with a book of story problems and was reading them out to AJ. She snapped out the answers as fast as MM could read the questions.

AJ, of course, basked in the adoration from her little sister as M&M was totally amazed and delighted that AJ was so good at solving the problems, and told her so effusively. "Wow, that was so fast! You're really good at math, AJ. That's amazing! Did you hear how fast she did that, Mom? Isn't she SO good at math?"

It continually amazes me that the kids enjoy math so much and are so good at it. Math was never my strong point. DH is the one who will work complicated math problems just for the fun of it. I did all right in math in school, but it was always a lot of effort and concentration--certainly not something I would choose to do for fun.

When AJ does her math I often have to think longer than she does to solve the problems, while she knows the solution in a snap. I'm actually enjoying learning along with her. The Singapore math books are taking the kids through a different process and a more thorough way of thinking through the concepts in more different ways than I learned them. Even with the simple addition and subtraction she's doing, I'm finding the training in basics of thinking mathematically enriching for myself.

We're one of those geeky families that plays games with numbers and words for fun. You might catch us exchanging mathematical riddles or thinking up rhymes over the dinner table or riding in the car, just for entertainment--often at the kids' request.

The last few days, though, the kids' favorite pastime has been painting. They're going through reams of paper painting animals, places and people, or just experimenting with colors, brushstrokes and textures. Most of the pictures get taped to the wall. I think the colorful wallpaper is much nicer than anything we could buy.

I'll post a photo of some of the paintings soon.

Painting

AJ broke her week and a half streak of being meltdown-free in style.

Today's bout of yelling and crying lasted an hour. It went through several changes of location and venue, but sustained the same topic for the entire hour: AJ thought M&M's homeschool co-op classes sounded like more fun than her own. She wanted to be in Mrs. T's class with M&M.

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She howled all the way through gathering our things together, turning in our name tags, making our way through the crowd and out of the building, getting a cup left behind last week and chatting with the other mom who had saved it for us, the ride home, lunch preparations, etc. She refused to eat lunch and finally went up to her room to cry alone, stalking up and down the hallway upstairs shouting her misery and sobbing at the top of her lungs.

I kept timing it, wondering how long she could keep going on the same subject without running out of steam. After I had tried everything I could think of without success, I ended up (as usual) just letting her carry on off in a corner of the house until she wore herself out.

Finally, when she started winding down, I went and asked her if she'd like to paint the way she was feeling. She thought that was a great idea.

I had gone shopping last night, and one of the things I did was replenish our supply of paints. All the kids like painting so much. AJ especially loves painting and all types of artistic creativity, and said that was her favorite part of play therapy. The lack of art in her co-op classes was a big point she was upset about, too.

Since the paints we'd been using lately were normal acrylics, and not the washable kind, I'd been letting the kids paint only under very close supervision and not as often as they'd like. The times we'd painted this week, it was a tad bit stressful trying to make sure any spilled paint got cleaned up right away, etc.

Today I gave each of the three kids their own little box of RoseArt washable watercolors, a paintbrush, a little cup for water, a mixing palate, and a supply of paper. I told the two older girls that these are their paints to use however they choose. As long as they aren't supposed to be doing anything else, they can use these paints any time they want to and in any way they like.

The only rules are that they need to make sure the area is cleared off so there's nothing on the desk or table that might be ruined by a spill, and that they clean up after themselves (probably with some help from me) when they're finished. I'm not worried about either of them trying to paint on anything inappropriate, so I didn't even mention that.

The kids really liked that idea. Their eyes got big as they repeated, "We don't even have to ask first? We can just start painting? Wow!"

All three kids had a wonderful time painting. To my surprise, AJ's painting didn't seem to reflect dark feelings at all. Instead she painted a picture about the puppet show she saw in one of her classes, and then a picture of the world she wished she could live in--a fantasy world full of bright colors, fruit, flowers and sunshine.

Lately she's been enjoying coloring things fanciful colors--today it was a purple tree with a red trunk and "black oranges" under a purple sunshine. I'm no expert, but to me it seems to be a positive thing that she has moved beyond feeling that she needs to make things look the way they are in real life. She's enjoying experimenting with colors and playing with adding twists to make her imaginary world unique. That playful approach to art and newfound freedom to break out of the "shoulds" is a recent development (in the last week or two, I think) that seems very healthy to me.

M&M and Baby E both had a lot of fun experimenting with various colors, textures and brush strokes without trying to draw anything descriptive. The painting session kept all three girls peacefully occupied for quite some time.

Later, when I talked with AJ, she said that painting helped her to feel more calm after her meltdown. I suggested that next time she's feeling really upset about something, maybe she should try painting to see if that helps her to calm herself down. Expressing her feelings in a painting when she is upset or angry might help a lot. She could paint instead of yelling and crying.

She liked that idea and agreed to try it.

Later in the evening Baby E did something (not sharing a toy, I think) that really upset AJ. AJ started to yell and cry, and then abruptly she stopped and said, "Mom, can I paint?"

And she did.

I was so proud of her.


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All three kids have been a bit whiny and short-fused the last few days. I think it's a combination of factors--there's been some extra stress in the last day or two, we're still adjusting to the new schedule and activities, nobody has been sleeping well, etc. Also, DH had a lapse of memory today and packed the two older girls a snack of storebought blueberry muffins--complete with all sorts of sugar, preservatives, and dairy products. We're certainly trying to take note of all the variables.

I'm not sure Baby E's trial of corn derivatives has really been completely successful, either. She has been having a lot more trouble sleeping and staying asleep again for the last week or two, and is a lot moodier again. We're going to try taking her back off the corn derivatives to see if it makes a difference or not.

It will be interesting to see whether dairy products end up being a significant factor for AJ or not. It's obviously not the only factor, as she was struggling a bit more the last couple of days and having a bit of potty anxiety again even before the milk.

But I found it very interesting that she had a fairly significant mood change after eating her snack. She enjoyed the morning classes and even told me, Mrs. T and her friends that Friday school was much better this week and she liked it better this time after the sessions were over for the day. Then, about an hour or two after eating her snack, she had an abrupt and rather sudden transition with no apparent trigger from being fine and in a pretty good mood to complete meltdown mode.

Although, now that I'm writing this, I also realized that I completely forgot to give her warning and time to adjust before leaving. I was letting the kids play while I helped clean up in Mrs. T's classroom, and when we were done I just sort of said, "Okay, kids, let's go. Time to stop coloring and erase the white boards; come on," and walked out, expecting them to follow me. That's when the meltdown about AJ's wanting to be in Mrs. T's class began.

So it could have been the abrupt transition that set her off, or a combination of things. DH said that she was really out-of-sorts this morning after he got her up and started rushing her to get ready while I showered and nursed Baby E. Not enough transition time and being rushed seems to be a big issue for AJ.

Hopefully putting all these clues together will give us the tools we need to help life run more smoothly for everyone.

AWANA Observations

This week was parents' night at AWANA. DH, Baby E and I all joined AJ and M&M for the evening.

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M&M seems to be enthusiastic about AWANA when she talks about it, but when she's actually there she seems a bit overwhelmed by all the noise and activity. Her leader said that she's been like this every week so far. She refuses to take part in the games, doesn't join in the singing or action rhymes, and is reluctant to try to say her verses. She enjoys coloring and watching the other activities, though.

I knew that she knew her verse this week, but watched her struggle and get hung up trying to say it to the teacher. The more flustered she got the more she struggled. The leader sent her over to me and I practiced it with her for a while as she twisted herself into a pretzel and fidgeted so hard she was almost falling out of her chair. Still, she didn't really want to say it and struggled with it. She wanted to go color again, so I suggested that she try to say the verse while coloring.

Suddenly, she said it smoothly and easily. No wonder school has been so much better since I started letting the kids color while listening to and discussing the things I read to them. Apparently I have a strong kinetic learner in this one. :)

I asked the leader to let M&M color while she said her verse, and she did. She passed it just fine.

I'm not too terribly worried about M&M's lack of participation at this point. She is easily overwhelmed by situations with lots of noise and activity going on in different places all at once. She also dislikes being pushed to do organized activities or play complicated physical games.

Usually she stands back and observes for what seems like forever, but once she feels comfortable she joins in and is often one of the most enthusiastic participants there. That's what she did with Kindermusic and VBS, anyway. She's already interacting quite well for the most part in her Kindergarten class at the homeschool co-op.

AJ, on the other hand, seems to immediately come alive in this type of setting. She seems to love the structure and guidance, and the fact that everyone is doing the same things at the same time.

AJ is especially good at memorizing things and enjoys reciting her verses. Last week she passed 4 verses--one of which we had studied at home, and the other three which she learned on the spot at the AWANA meeting.

It will be interesting to see how Baby E responds to various situations. All three of my kids are so different from each other. Life is never boring; that's for sure.

Play Therapy

AJ had her first play therapy session today. It was really interesting to watch. The therapist quietly sat with AJ while she played, observing and talking with her. She told AJ that she could tell her anything at all, and talk about anything she wished.

AJ spent quite a long time petting the therapist's cat. The therapist told AJ the story of how she'd gotten the cat, which had previously been mistreated, how the cat chose this new home, and how the cat learned to feel safe again.

It was quite interesting to watch . . . the therapist just let AJ play and explore however she wanted to with the various toys, dress-up supplies, art supplies and other things in the house.

With a bit of gentle prompting from the therapist, AJ kept up a running chatter while she played.

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There was a sand box on a stand, and AJ set up an elaborate ocean scene in it with toys. She told the therapist the names of all the different sea creatures. "This one is a horseshoe crab, and that one's a squid, and this one is a killer whale. This one I call a blow-up fish, but it's actually called a puffer fish."

"You know all their names!" the therapist said, and AJ said almost apologetically, "Not all of them . . . just some of them." Then she proceeded to tell her the names of a bunch more.

Some of the creatures she said were mommies and babies. She put two divers into the scene and said they were there to keep all the fish safe. When asked which character would be herself in the scene, she pointed to a statuette of the Little Mermaid and talked about how much she would like to dive and swim under the water.

The therapist, mostly just by giving AJ her full attention, listening well, inserting occasional well-placed questions, and reflecting back to AJ the things she said, had AJ talking about various things including herself, her family and friends, and some of her recent frustrations.

They talked, for instance, about how MM swings higher and runs faster than AJ does. "But now I'm getting used to it," AJ said. I had to smile, thinking of how this week her extreme and seemingly constant meltdowns about the subject abruptly ended.

They talked, as I often have with her, about how there are other things AJ does best, and how everyone has different things they're good at. The therapist reassured AJ that even if M&M sometimes is better at things than AJ, AJ will always be the oldest.

Partway through the session, AJ said, "This is a really comfortable room. I like it." Then she looked up at the therapist and said, "It's almost like you're my mom."

I thought it was neat that she compared the warm, comfortable setting and the soft-spoken, attentive therapist to being with her mommy. :)

Toward the end of the session AJ drew a picture of her house and a tree, with herself and M&M in the window. As she worked she talked about her family, her wish for a horse, and her thoughts about being the oldest child.

As we got in the car to drive home, AJ said decisively, "That lady is a doctor, all right."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "You think she's like a doctor?"

"Yes. A doctor for happiness."

"I guess she is sort of like a doctor, in a way. That kind of doctor is called a counselor, or therapist. Spending time with her made you feel happy?"

"Yes. I can't wait until next week."

As we drove home, AJ told me that when she grew up she was going to bring her children to this doctor so she could make them happy, too.

"But," she said, "by the time my kids are old enough she might not be alive any more, because she's pretty old. She's already 64. I don't know if she'll still be around when I want to take my kids to see her."

Then she decided that when I was old--64, like the counselor--I should learn how to become that kind of doctor, too. I should move into my own house and get lots of neat toys and art supplies, and then I could help AJ's kids learn how to be happy.

Of course I said that sounded like fun, and that I would love to play with AJ's kids and help make them happy. AJ said that when she turned 64 she wanted to become a therapist too. Then she and I could both make everyone happy.

I thought it was really interesting that she would call the counselor a "doctor for happiness" and say that she made people happy, because that's not something we said to her. During one of her meltdowns, I did ask her if she would like to talk to someone about the things that were bothering her, and we had talked about how we might be able to find someone who would try to help her figure out how to feel better and how to help herself calm down when she was upset.

As far as I know, the "doctor for happiness" idea was just something she came up with on her own.

Dragons: A Day in Our Homeschool

Today was definitely one of our most enjoyable days of homeschooling so far. I feel that I'm getting a better understanding of the kids' learning styles and needs as the days go by, and figuring out how to best tailor our schooling to fit our family.

AJ's being in such a drastically better frame of mind the last few days has made a huge difference for the whole household. With Baby E still feeling better too, and M&M so enthusiastic about learning, today was our ideal typical school day.

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Yesterday was officially the first day of our Asia study, but since we had the appointment with the therapist we didn't do much. We did Bible and math in the morning and then my mom and sister read with the kids (or supervised the kids reading) a book or two about China while we were at the appointment. We've had a large collection of library books about China sitting around for several days. The kids have mostly just been picking them up to read on their own.

Each day this week we'll study various animals, historical figures or missionaries relating to China, as well as continuing to learn about the geography and culture in general. At least one day we'll spend time learning about the Great Wall of China.

This morning after breakfast and morning routines, I read a Bible story to all three kids while they colored. We're currently reading through the life of Abraham, so the kids have been working a bit each morning on coloring a scene from Abraham's life. After the story, we worked on the kids' AWANA verses for a few minutes. Bible usually takes us between 5 and 15 minutes, but sometimes the kids talk me into reading more than one story and it takes longer.

Then Baby E entertained herself (mostly playing with water in the bathroom) while I spent a few minutes helping the big girls with math. The goal is for them each to spend about 15 minutes a day on math, but since I can only help one of them at a time it usually takes a bit longer. M&M often begs to do more than one day's worth, but I try not to let them work for more than 20-30 minutes on math even if they want to. I don't want them to get burned out on desk time or writing before we've done two subjects. :)

AJ had been dragging or complaining, especially about the writing part, so I was letting her do more of it orally or just picking a few problems from each set to have her do. The last couple of days, though, she's been much more interested in and enthusiastic about doing her workbook and seems to be having an easier time with it.

After math the kids decided they would rather color than play outside in the wet weather. I let them relax for a few minutes, and then while they continued coloring I gave them a brief introduction to Asia and China.

We briefly discussed some basic facts about China, including its poulation density, the long history of its culture, and the large variety of climates, geography and altitudes in the country. We found China on the map and compared its size to some of the nearby countries. I showed them how to write the name of the capital city, Beijing. They thought that was hilarious, for some reason.

Then I let the kids take a break while I prepared a snack. Today I cut up a Dragon Fruit. We love trying unusual new foods, especially fruits and vegetables. That bright red and green fruit calling to me from the grocery store display had been too interesting-looking to resist on my last shopping trip.

It was as enticing inside as it was outside: bright magenta, with little black seeds. It didn't taste bad, either--a bit bland, but slightly sweet. The texture reminded me of something between an avocado and a kiwi fruit, and it had an almost melony tropical taste.

As we were eating the dragon fruit and guessing how it got its name, AJ said, "Hey, I'll bet this fruit is from China! Dragons are very important to the Chinese. They believe they are real and that they bring good luck. Dragons are a big part of Chinese culture. I'll bet they would LOVE this fruit."

It wasn't quite what I had in mind for the day, but we simply had to look up the fruit and find out if it grew in China. We read about the fruit on the laptop while Baby E nursed.

Sure enough, Southern China is one of the places dragon fruit grows. So we spent some time reading about dragon fruit, finding pictures of the various varieties and learning how it grows. We even found out how it got its name (it looks like a dragon when growing on the plant). Then AJ and M&M drew pictures of the dragon fruit and wrote sentences about it while Baby E played with blocks and looked at books.





The dragon fruit projects went into their three-ring notebooks along with the printouts of the Asia and China maps we'll be using and making notes on for this unit.

For lunch, we had egg salad sandwiches with dill and dandelion greens. (OK, I was the only one who actually ate the dandelion greens, but they were good on my sandwich.)*

While we ate, AJ informed us all that Chinese people eat a lot of eggs and that some Chinese people keep chickens. M&M said that since many Chinese people eat a lot of rice, she thought Baby E would have done well if she was born in China. We discussed ideas for what foods we might want to cook when we make a Chinese meal at the end of our China study, and decided to pay attention to what other foods are mentioned in the books we read about China.

I let the kids play for a few minutes again after lunch, and then we all snuggled up together on the couch to read. Each of the three girls picked out a book for us to read. M&M read aloud the book (My First Chinese New Year) that Baby E picked, AJ read a picture book (In the Snow) about Chinese writing that M&M picked, and I read the book (A Child's Day in a Chinese City) that AJ chose. Between the three books we ended up briefly discussing Chinese food, culture, religion, and language. We even touched on the government and the one-child policy.

The girls were especially fascinated by the Chinese calligraphy and Mandarin pronunciation of various words. They decided that they wanted to try writing in Chinese themselves. On their own, just for fun, they spent some time practicing writing Chinese figures and labeling them with the English translations while Baby E nursed again.

Normally school might have been over for the day by that point. But since we needed to take last week's geography and explorer books back to the library, we ended up discussing and reviewing them while we gathered them together.

They remembered such great stuff that I realized I should be writing some of this down. So I got a pen and paper and had each of the girls pick one of the explorers they studied and tell me what they remembered learning. With just a few questions to jog their memory, both girls remembered great details about their favorite explorers. I wrote them down, then we looked over the papers and made a few minor revisions to the organization and wording. Each girl ended up with a great little page to add to her notebook.

I sent the girls to play for a while, trying to encourage them to do something active. They did go outside momentarily, but came back in when it started hailing.

Then it was time for quiet time. The girls are allowed to play, read or do whatever they like as long as they are quiet and in their designated rooms during quiet time. Lately they've been reading books from several series--their recent favorites being The Boxcar Children, the Three Cousins Detective Club, and the Magic Attic series.

Today AJ chose a chapter book about a Chinese child (Little Pear) and a book about science experiments. M&M took along a book about China and Two Hundred Pennies (a fabulous OOP book by Catherine Wooley about a little boy saving his money to buy a model train). Baby E read books in bed for a while and then came to find me and nursed to sleep.

A few minutes ago I told the girls that their hour of quiet time was up. They merely switched to reading different books in different rooms when told it was time to get up. :)

As soon as I hit post I'll go down and cut up a cucumber from the garden for a snack, then start working on dinner. The leg of lamb in the crock pot should be just about done; I just have to decide what to serve with it. I think I'll do something with cauliflower and potatoes (two family favorites), and serve green peas and/or some sauteed leafy green garden vegetables on the side.

DH will get home from work right around dinner time. He usually plays with the girls while I finish getting food on the table. Then we'll all eat dinner together. If there's time we might all play a game afterwards, or just let the kids play while we clean up the kitchen or whatever. Then it will be time for the bedtime routine--chores, baths, stories, devotions, etc.

Last night DH took Baby E out for her turn at a "date" with Daddy. AJ and M&M thought about having me take them out somewhere, but then decided that they wanted me to play a game with them at home (they're really loving Apples to Apples Junior the last few days) and have a pretend ballet dance (complete with beautiful dresses and tiaras) before bed.

And that's what our life looks like on one of the gloriously normal days. :)

[Edited to add: When DH got home, all three girls couldn't wait to tell him what a great day we had. Even AJ agreed that "school was really good today," and M&M pronounced it "so, so much fun!"]


* We discussed it and decided that it would be best to stick to just eliminating dairy products for 6 weeks, as the doctor recommended. If in a few weeks it seems indicated to try something else like eliminating wheat or gluten, we'll discuss that with the doctor.

We won't, of course, force AJ to eat bread if she doesn't want to. She only made a one-time comment that she thought bread was hurting her tummy and hasn't mentioned it again. There are always plenty of gluten-free options in the house, but we're not going to attempt a strict gluten-free trial at this time. AJ was fine with the suggestion of not going gluten-free right now and has been eating bread happily today.

Next Steps

Today DH and I met with the therapist who will be working with AJ. She is not someone we knew previously, but came highly recommended by someone we know and trust.

She is a former pastor's wife (a widow, I think) who has been in the ministry for many years and went back to school late in life to get training as a counselor at seminary. She has grown children and teenaged grandchildren, and loves working with kids. She seems to be well-qualified and knowledgeable. I've heard good things from several different sources about her work.

Her goal is to work with both the child and the whole family to teach the parents some things that will be helpful in dealing with the child. She said that parents are really the most effective therapists and part of her job will be to equip us to do that.

AJ's first meeting with her will be later this week. I'm excited to see how it goes.

I did feel a bit silly that after all this time I finally finished a blog post about what's been going on with AJ, and then posted it right around the time she drastically improved. She is still doing much better today. The improvement she's made in the last few days is significant, though not complete.

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AJ got to the end of the day today and said that the best thing about her day was hearing that she will get to go to the counselor this week. (We've explained very little about it to her, but told her that the counselor is a lady sort of like a grandma that likes to play with kids and listen to them talk about whatever is bothering them and try to help them figure out how to work through their problems). She said the worst thing about the day was "everything about today."

Still, though, she seemed so much less unhappy throughout the day. She still has not had any major meltdowns this week. That is a dramatic change from the last few weeks. It's great seeing the exact same situations that have been triggering huge meltdowns for weeks suddenly happening with no meltdowns. There have been a number of other positive changes as well.

It's been so hard to sort through all of this these last few weeks and months. For instance, a number of different people have made observations or expressed concerns at some point (or a number of times) about certain elements of AJ's behavior and social interactions. The first few times over the years we just brushed it off, but it's hard to continue ignoring such comments when they are coming from multiple people who know us (and AJ) very well and have spent a lot of time with her and with us as a family in many different situations.

It's also really hard to sort through what's just normal for our child, and when it has escalated to a level to become worrisome. (And who really cares if "normal" for her is somewhat different from the "norm", as long as she's happy and it's not hurting anyone--everyone is unique anyway.)

We weren't really all that worried until her level of unhappiness degenerated to a point where it was fairly constant and severe. It happened so gradually, and it fluctuated so much for so long, that it's really hard to pinpoint when the current situation actually began. It's normal for a 6-year-old to have occasional meltdowns. It's not normal for the meltdowns and moping to take over most of the day nearly every day. Her descent of the last several weeks into almost constant meltdowns and misery and the new things she started saying and doing made us decide it was something we couldn't just wait for her to grow out of.

Obviously, there has been something bothering her, and whether it's circumstantial, physical, something else, or a combination of factors, it's something we want to help her work through.

It's easy to look at something like dairy consumption and say, "Oh, that's interesting . . . she had that severe illness followed by the wierd regression in speech and other skills about 2 weeks after we first introduced milk into her diet as a toddler, and then after we realized she was dairy-intolerant and put her on soy formula she did a lot better. Her worst times seem to coincide with the times she's getting lots of dairy products and the improvements this week correlate best with taking her off dairy, so it must be milk."

Or, "She has the most meltdowns when things are chaotic and unpredictable, and instilling predictable consistent routines has been extremely helpful, so that must be the issue." Or, "She's been responding to the stress we've all been under the last few years." Or, "It's just her personality." Or, "She has a problem functioning in this or that area and needs some extra help learning the skills." Or, "It's a spiritual battle, and all the prayers and extra time seeking the Lord lately must be making a difference." But the truth is that it's almost certainly a combination of factors, not just one simple thing.

We're not particularly concerned with getting a "diagnosis" of anything in particular--just in figuring out what is bothering AJ and how to help her, and also how best to help her work on the skills that she will need to function well in various environments as she grows up. If she's just quirky and generally happy, great. But when something is making her deeply miserable and affecting her ability to function, then we feel it's time to take it seriously.

It's also important that we continue looking at the entire family as an entity as well as each child invididually. So far the changes we're making and the things we're doing have been good for everyone. We're all benefitting. That's good.

I'm just glad that something is having positive results so quickly. Hopefully the combination of changes we're making at home and the play therapy will be effective. What exactly is causing the improvement isn't nearly as important as that the improvement continues. And whatever the surface cause appears to be, I'm thankful to God for bringing about these positive changes. I truly believe that He is unltimately the one to bring healing.