One Hamster In Need of Good Home

Puff the hamster is very sweet and adorable. But she needs a new home.

For two reasons, primarily.


• First, all commercial hamster food seems to contain corn. I really don't like having the corn in the house, given Baby E's level of sensitivity.
  
  I did attempt to put poor Puff on a corn-free diet of things like birdseed, mixed grains, beans, and some fresh fruits and vegetables. Unfortunately it must have been missing some essential ingredient or nutrient. Her fur started falling out and I noticed she was losing weight. I of course felt terrible and went out and bought hamster food (two kinds), hamster treats, and hamster vitamins.
  
  Her hair seems to be growing back in now, she is getting rotund once again, and seems to have more energy. I'm glad she's better, but I really don't like having crumbly corny things in the house. I can't even let the girls feed her because I'm so worried about a crumb ending up in the carpet where Baby E can get it.



• Secondly, Puff triggers my allergies. Or her cage does, anyway. She's a very tidy hamster who always uses one corner of the cage for a potty. But, still, within a day or two of cleaning out the cage, it seems to start bothering my allergies.

Those mold and dust mite allergies are just really making me miserable lately, with the added pollen allergens in the air. I'm having to change the bedding constantly--some parts daily, just to try to keep the allergen levels down. I'm even reacting to my own husband if it's been more than an hour or two since he last showered. Coughing and sneezing fits combined with stuffy nose and itchy eyes are so romantic. Ugh.

I'll hate to see Puff go. She is such a sweetheart--gentle, quiet, entertaining. She can tend to be a bit shy, but she has never bitten anyone. When we first got her she frantically tried to run away and hide, but now she doesn't seem to much mind being picked up and petted. She will eat treats out of our hands and climb around on us.

I was rather hoping we could find her a good home with someone we know, so we could visit her occasionally. But nobody we've asked so far wants a hamster, even a very sweet one.

I keep trying to figure out some way we can make it work to keep her. But, sadly, it seems it would be better for all parties if we could find her a good new home. If any of my readers in the area (Great Pacific NorthWET, USA) are interested, drop me a note.

Disjointed notes from the last week of school

The last week of school is winding down. The kids finished most of this year's work a few weeks ago, anyway, so we've started on some of next year's work, or are doing supplemental things.

This morning we took some time out to clean their room. AJ is currently putting the Sesame Street library books in numerical order--that's good math practice.

Yesterday we glued various-colored lentils onto sketches of lizards, to represent scales. AJ is reading a book on the life of George Washington for history, and M&M is reading about various animals for science, along with finishing their textbooks for the year.

I'm still not feeling so great, due to allergies it seems.

The garden is coming along nicely. I ended up heaping the dirt along the sides of the paths, so that even where there are no wooden sides, all the beds are sort of "raised beds." That makes them quite a bit deeper, even on top of the hard earth and junk where the rototiller couldn't work up the dirt. We have about half of it planted, and plan to plant more this afternoon.

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While I work on the garden, hopefully the kids will play on the swingset. On Labor Day our friends the Malamute Rescuer Family came over. We had a wonderful relaxing time, and Malamute Rescuer Guy helped DH finish putting the swingset together.

RM family's three kids are close to our kids' ages. They played and played, running around outside most of the time.



Here's a picture of most of the kids during a rare quiet moment. The six of them get along so well. The four older kids even took turns well with the two swings.

My girls are enjoying the swingset a lot. But I had never realized that swinging had such a large learning curve. I had envisioned days of bliss in which the kids happily entertained themselves with the new swings. Independent play; that's the idea.

It hasn't exactly happened that way yet. Reality involves a lot more whining, fighting over who is going to ride which swing, begging to be pushed on the swings, getting frustrated trying to get ON the swings, and complaining that pumping with their legs is too much work and why can't I just stand there and push them on the swings all day?

Meanwhile, Baby E is whining to swing, too, but gets terrified as soon as she's actually on the swing (even in my lap) and wants down, only to start fussing again because she wants to swing like the big girls.

Part of the problem is that one of the two swings doesn't really go low enough for the girls. Hopefully once we get a swing with a longer chain and the kids get more used to it, they'll enjoy it more. There is a third spot with attachments but no swing. We're hoping to find a second-hand swinging seesaw or glider to hang there; something two kids can ride together. I think AJ and M&M would enjoy that a lot.

They do definitely enjoy the playhouse a lot. That and the yard itself have already made for hours of fun. I'm sure that once they get used to the swings (and get it into their heads that I can't spend all day pushing them, although I'm willing to oblige occasionally) the love-hate relationship they currently have with the swings will even out.

Our last day of school will be Thursday. I'm looking forward to the summer vacation. We have a couple of trips to the coast planned. That will be fabulous. Mostly, I'm planning to concentrate on gardening and getting the house decluttered and organized this summer. Right now I'm so tempted just to throw things into trash bags without more than a glance.

Is it worth all the time and energy to sort through it and decide what to keep and what to get rid of? Anything in the office, garage or the living/dining rooms must not be that important, because we've managed to get by without it for months anyway.

Mainly, I just haven't had a lot of leftover time and energy for sitting at the computer lately. Blogging may continue to be light, at least until I finish putting the garden in and make some headway on the house.

Baby E just brought me a doll and requested that I put help her put the doll in Baby E's crib, because the baby needed to sleep. "Baby Sleep! Crib, please? Baby crib. Sleep!"

May 29, 2007

May Flowers

The roses are in full bloom in our yard. This is the best year we've had so far. The bushes are loaded with large, beautiful, fragrant blossoms. This week we picked huge bouquets of roses, with blooms from the herb plants blended in.



(More photos below the fold--click on any photo to enlarge it)


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M&M and Baby E picking sage and chive blossoms:




M&M and AJ examining a rose nearly as big as their heads:



Trying to take a bouquet to our friends across the cul-de-sac (they weren't home):



"Smelling" the flowers arranged in a vase:

Baby Birds

The birdhouse we put up after finding the junco nest on the ground last summer is occupied once again.



The baby birds make quite a racket whenever someone walks past. The hungry little brood is keeping the parent birds quite busy feeding them.

The chicks should be safe in the birdhouse until they're ready to fly.

In Memoriam

P.Y.
Died May 10, 2007 at age 52



His memorial service is today. Yesterday I was sorting through some things and found this unfinished sketch I'd made of him years ago. I must have been doodling while sitting behind him at a church meeting.

I'll probably give the sketch to his widow at some point, if she wants it. Today, I suspect she'll be overwhelmed just dealing with the service and all the condolences from friends. This will be the first time I've seen her in several years, although we've talked on the phone a few times recently.

A friend from church is going to watch my kids so I can go to the memorial service. I'm baking cookies to take. It seems such a small thing, but I'm glad I can do something to help.

That's Us

AJ's activity to go with her science lesson today was to draw a picture of her parents.



I'm the one in the striped shirt.

Overheard: On Marriage

M&M: When I grow up, I want to marry a man who is gentle and nice.
AJ: And who has a heart that loves God.
M&M: Yeah.

Going Up

I finally feel like I'm really on the mend today. We had a nice day of homeschooling. We're really settling into our routine, and it's getting easier each day.

Tonight I attempted to loosen more soil in the garden with the shovel. Eventually, though, I gave up.

A large section of ground was difficult because apparently it was used as a landfill at some point. About 6 inches under, it's nearly a solid layer of concrete pieces, old bricks, rotting logs, pieces of plywood, disconnected sections of pipe and wire, plastic, bits of glass and who knows what else. It's too much stuff to dig out.

I ended up taking out a few things that were buried more shallowly than the rest, and just tilling up the 6-8 inches of soil over the top of the rest. I have no idea what it will do to the garden, but I certainly can't grow anything deep like potatoes there.

The rest of the digging was difficult just because the ground is very hard, with lots of rocks and clay. I kept thinking, as I jumped and stomped on the shovel trying to get it more than 3-4 inches deep, that this would probably be a lot easier if I weighed more than 106 lbs.

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Yes, I've managed to gain another pound--woohoo. One more pound and I'll have gained 10 lbs! I still need to gain 10 or 15 lbs to reach my normal "healthy" weight, but I feel so much better being less underweight. I'm actually on the low end of the charts for a normal BMI now, and I'm not quite so pale and gaunt-looking.

Ironically, someone at church last Sunday said to me, "You look great--have you lost weight?" I chuckled and told her that, no, actually I look so much better because I've gained weight.

Of course, the predictable response is always "I wish I had that problem" or "I'll give you some of my extra weight."

But I really don't think, if people understood what it was like, that anyone would really choose to be 20 lbs. underweight. It's at least as unhealthy to be underweight as overweight, if not more unhealthy. Calculating over or under in equal number of pounds or BMI points, I think being underweight will debilitate or kill you faster than being overweight will.

Not that it makes sense to compare, and I completely sympathize with people who struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle, no matter which direction they lean. But the myth that being underweight is desirable drives me crazy. I wouldn't wish that kind of severe fatigue, dizzy spells, heart palpitations and general unwellness on anyone. I hope to never drop below 100 lbs again. It's miserable.

Even though my weight struggles are from a different cause, I really feel for anyone struggling with body image and eating disorders. I'm here to tell you--you will be SO much healthier and feel so much better if you pursue a realistic, healthy body rather than trying to be super-skinny.

Being too thin is not a good thing, no matter what our culture tries to tell us. It's not worth making yourself sick or killing yourself to look like a Barbie doll or like those airbrushed, photo-edited fashion models. It's just not. Healthy is so much more beautiful.

I'm just glad to be on the way up again.

Lov You

I'm still not feeling well, but did manage to make it to church today.

Here are the first two pages of the book the girls made me for Mother's Day. More later . . .





So. Tired. Goodnight!

Better

I'm feeling quite a bit better this morning after a good night's sleep on clean bedding. I ended up going to bed without doing much besides putting food away, taking a shower, washing my bedding (there was barely enough soap for one more load), wiping down the allergen cover on the mattress, loading the dishwasher, cleaning the potty chair and the toilet, getting meat out to thaw for the next few days, baking the rest of the cookie dough that was taking up more than its fair share of space in the refrigerator, restocking the toilet paper in the bathroom, and making the bed.

I ended up sleeping with no blankets (because the blankets were still in the wash), but the clean pillows and sheets made a huge difference. Even my swollen eye was much better this morning. I'm still sick and tired, but functional. I'm feeling much better.

Baby E just came to me, wanting "ilk," and as I picked her up I said, "Hi, cutie-pie."

She frowned at me and said, "No. E." It was the first time she'd really said her own name recognizably. It's rather long and difficult to say, for a toddler. I wish I could transcribe her rendition of it, but it's awfully cute. She works so hard to wrap her little tongue around all the sounds and syllables.

We just called my mom and left a message on my mom's voice mail. Baby E said (with some prompting), "Ello, Mamaw. Zis E. Phone. I wuv oo. Buh-bye."

Morning and I are supposed to go do something fun together today. It's something we've been planning for at least a month, and have already had to postpone once, so I think I'll at least go and see how long I can stay before I run out of energy. I'll try to get a few more things on the to-do list done first.

Dilemmas and To-Do Lists

DH is gone tonight, attending SIL The Mentor's graduation from seminary. I was supposed to go too. I really wanted to be there. Only, the babysitter never returned my phone call and even if she had, I'm too sick to go anyway.

I was also too sick to stay home and take care of three kids and cook dinner very well, but when DH offered to stay home, I said I thought I could manage.

We did get through the evening with everyone intact--at least bodily.

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It didn't help that, since I've been feeling pretty rotten for several days now, a lot of things have been left undone. The girls and I did a lot of tripping over things, looking for things, rescuing things that had reached a state of urgency, and having to clear space before we could do things. Every noise seemed loud, every annoyance seemed huge and every effort felt like the end of a marathon tonight. Of course, AF chose just the opportune moment to make her appearance as well, adding to my comfort and joy.

The kids and I did get the garden watered (the kids also watered each other, despite my instructions to avoid getting wet, and then apparently rolled in the garden, and then traipsed through the house trailing mud). We also cleaned out the hamster cage and fed the frog and the hamster.

DH has been able to help with childcare, rototilling and some other things this week, but when it came time to cook dinner I looked around and wanted to cry.

The food I'd cooked ahead for such an occasion was all gone (at least DH didn't have to cook anything). I had thought there was some soup left, but the container in the refrigerator turned out to contain nothing but a few chicken bones. The small bowl of chicken soup DH and the kids had brought me this afternoon must have been the last of it. (It probably didn't help my mood much tonight that the soup and a few cookies were all I'd eaten today.)

There wasn't a single thing already-prepared or quick-to-prepare that Baby E and I could eat for dinner.

There was the package of lamb ribs I'd thawed a few days ago, so I stuck them in the oven to roast. I didn't know what to put on them, so I just salted them and put a lid on the dish. I threw together a homemade barbecue sauce out of tomatoes, onions, garlic, chopped herbs, sea salt, a dash of pepper, some honey and the juice from half a lemon to serve with them.

But by well after dinner time the ribs were still half-raw, even though they'd already cooked far longer than they should supposedly take to be done. I separated the ribs into two dishes and spooned sauce over one half, but I wasn't at all sure how much longer they would need to cook.

So there I was, dinner already late, the kids whining, Baby E clinging to my ankles fussing and crying alternately for "milk" and "hold you!". I racked my brain trying to figure out what we could eat. We were out of hamburger. Every kind of meat I had in the house was frozen and raw.

There was not a single clean surface in the kitchen, not to mention a large enough clear space on which to prepare anything, and very few clean dishes. I ended up pulling out the breadboard and working on that, but despite my warnings the kids kept walking around the corner and banging their heads into it (oh, yeah, that's why I never use the breadboard).

I fed the kids some raw carrots and watermelon, and gave the older two each half a PB&J sandwich I'd found in the refrigerator (left over from lunch, apparently). But the meat still wasn't done, and everyone was still hungry.

I finally sent the kids to get ready for bed while I peeled and sliced carrots and onions, cut more herbs from the garden, and started the carrots and onions sauteing with a little fresh basil.

By the time the kids came down in their pajamas claiming their chores were done (not true, as I later found out), the lamb was done and I could serve dinner.

The food turned out well. But oh, for the days when I could just open a can of something or call for takeout on days like this. The BBQ sauce was a big hit, and I was pleased with how well it turned out for inventing it completely from scratch. Too bad I didn't measure everything so I could write down the recipe.

Now the two older kids are finally in bed, after much whining, crying, and stalling, and too much yelling and a few tears on my part, too. They're not asleep, and I keep going in to shush them. Baby E is in fine form, getting into things left and right and going in to wake the older girls at every chance she gets.

All I really want is to take my achy, tired, itchy, coughing, grumpy, hormonal self to bed. But things around the house have reached a critical point after several days of neglect.

So, as soon as I finish nursing Baby E (who is, at the moment, playfully pinching my arm and kicking the computer desk, trying to hit the keyboard with her feet, and pulling on my sleeve to try to keep me from typing), I have a list of things that must get done tonight:

1. Washing all the bedding from my bed and remaking it. (It's been more than 3 days since every stitch of fabric on the bed was washed in Very Hot Water, meaning the dust mites in the bedding have gotten to the point where sleeping actually does me more harm than good--even though I've been sleeping without pillows for the last two nights because they were in the laundry)



2. Getting all the dirty laundry out of the bedroom and vacuuming the carpet. (See above--waking up with eyes nearly swollen shut and breathing raspy is not helpful when pollen allergies and illness are already taking their toll.)



3. Washing my hair to get rid of any allergens lurking there. I might also try to learn how to use the nasal rinse kit I bought months ago, but that entails boiling and cooling water, so it may not happen tonight.



4. After finishing the laundry from the bedroom, a load of diapers must get started. It's way overdue, we're out of clean diapers, and the pail stinks to high heaven.



5. But before I can do more laundry, I have to make a batch of laundry soap. Because we're out. And that involves somehow finding the bag of soap flakes I mislaid a few weeks ago, or grating a new bar of soap. I may end up just mixing the soap dry this time, but I really do prefer the liquid. It gets the laundry cleaner with a few drops of essential oils added.



6. Before I can make laundry soap, I have to clean up the kitchen so I have a place to work and dishes in which to measure and mix it.



7. While I'm cleaning the kitchen I need to make a big batch of tea, so it can cool in time to feed the kombucha before the SCOBY starves or molds.



8. I'll feed the sourdough starter, too. I should really use some of it to make a batch of muffins or some bread for tomorrow's breakfast, but we'll see if that happens or not.



9. I also need to clean out the potty chair, which has had the fruits of at least 3 or 4 potty sessions sitting in it for some time.



10. And, I need to clean up the bathroom floor where Baby E had an accident a day or two ago and it just got wiped up but not sanitized, and the kitchen floor where we spilled a bit when cleaning out the hamster cage earlier today.



11. But first, I have to somehow get Baby E to go to sleep. Right now she's in the crib screaming.



12. Now she's in my lap again. She was rattling the crib, which had a screw very loose. Two screws, actually. After finding the screwdriver and attempting to tighten them, it appears that either I'm just doing something wrong or they're stripped out. I did tighten the screws quite a bit, but they are still a bit loose and the frame seems wobbly. I'm not sure how safe the crib even is for her to be in, the way she shakes the sides when she wants out.



13. But in order to put her to bed somewhere besides the crib, I'd need to do some major cleaning and moving of storage bins in her room, and move the toddler bed in there. I can't put her in my bed, because there's currently no bedding on it.



14. Oh, yeah, I also need to clean up the mud the kids tracked all over the carpet and take care of their muddy clothes.

I think I'll be calling my doctor or allergist soon to ask about some Very Powerful Medication to make this all. go. away. Or to maybe at least minimize the allergy symptoms. The Zyrtec samples I've been taking don't seem to help much. Maybe I'll try some Benadryl tonight.

P.S. The big girls seem to be asleep, finally. Baby E is asleep in my arms. I think I'll try laying her in the playroom bed, at least temporarily.

I'm glad tomorrow is Saturday.

P.P.S. Baby E woke up when I tried to lay her down, and didn't go back to sleep even with me lying down with her. She was all perky after her nice little nap, and ready to have a second dinner and play.

After going up and down, around and around several times, I called DH around 10:30 in tears, asking when he would be home. He said he had no idea and had no control over what time they left, since he had ridden with other family members. Not too long after that, though, he called to say he was headed home.

Now it's nearly midnight and he has fixed Baby E's crib and is now attempting to get Baby E to sleep. I've gotten quite a few things on the to-do list done, DH is going to do a few more, and a few will have to wait for tomorrow.

Coughing and Sleeping

I'm pretty sure there's something more than allergies going on. Apparently the allergies must have weakened my system enough to allow various viruses or infections of the sinuses, bronchial tubes and one eye.

DH took the kids to work with him this morning so I could be sick in peace. He brought them back, fed them lunch and put the older kids down for quiet time. Apparently having all three kids at work with him didn't go so well.

I just finished putting Baby E down for a nap and now I'm trying to decide whether I have enough energy to get dressed and go water the garden before my sprouting seeds die. Then I think I'll go back to bed--at least until the kids get up.

At least on a blog I don't have to talk

I've almost completely lost my voice. Those allergy allerts from Pollen.com are really helpful. I can see my symptoms fluctuating with the pollen levels, and I have hope that my current laryngitis, headache, fatigue and other symptoms may get better when pollen levels start dropping this weekend. Hopefully they'll do what's predicted.

In other news, Puff the hamster has been joined (not in the same cage, of course) by a tree frog named Sarah. Both are greatly enjoying the crickets and mealworms we purchased for them (who knew hamsters love mealworms as a treat?). We've been reading about amphibians for science the last few days.

DH finally managed to figure out how to work the rototiller we borrowed last night. For some reason, though, it only tilled 2 to 4 inches deep, even after multiple passes. No matter how he set it, it only went a an inch or two into the ground at a time. The ground there is extremely hard. I guess I'll have to get out there with a shovel after all--at least in the areas where I want to plant things like potatoes.

The Best

Me: Well, look at that! It looks like Daddy finally figured out how to get the rototiller to work!

AJ: Yes, he did. Daddy is a very, very smart guy.

M&M: Yep, he is. He's my favorite Daddy.

AJ: He's our only Daddy.

M&M: Well, he's still my favorite Daddy in the whole world.

AJ: Do you like him better than J's Daddy?

M&M: Yeah. I'll bet even J likes our daddy better than her daddy. Because our daddy is the best.

Not Many Spare Moments

Last week we started a new schedule. The girls and I have struggled all year to consistently get ready for the day and get basic household tasks done in time to spend a good chunk of the day doing school. We desperately needed a solution.

In our home group Bible study last week, we all decided to hold each other accountable to spend time with God (prayer and Bible reading) daily. As I was having my quiet time one evening, I was praying about the homeschooling problem, and a possible solution came into my mind. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. It was so simple, yet I wasn't sure DH would be willing to help me do it.

When I suggested the plan, though, he readily agreed. So far the plan has been much more successful than anything else we've tried.

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Essentially, we get up early together and DH helps me get the kids ready for the day and some of the morning chores done. That way there are two of us to keep the kids moving and one of us to care for Baby E if she's in a screaming/clingy mode all morning (which had been happening frequently) while the other cooks breakfast, gets laundry under control, etc.

I had been really struggling to get myself and the kids ready and take care of the day's meals, and we often weren't starting school (if we did school at all) until afternoon.

Now DH gets up with me, and I can get a shower while he helps the kids get going on their chores. Then I can cook breakfast and clean up the kitchen while he watches Baby E and maybe does some laundry or some other task. With both of us working to get the morning going (even with DH leaving just as I start feeding the kids breakfast), we've had little trouble getting everyone ready to start school by our target time of 9:30.

We've been doing pretty well at this for almost a week now, and it's amazing how much easier it is to get schoolwork done. We're finished with the bulk of it by lunchtime. Even if we do all the extra subjects like art, we're done for the day by early afternoon. The girls are starting to complain that "we're always doing school," but they are enjoying what they're learning.

After school, I put Baby E down for a nap and the girls for quiet time, and then I have a few minutes to either rest or get some housework done before I start dinner. After dinner I've been working outside until after dark, trying to get the garden planted. Then it's time to put Baby E to bed and do the dishes, and by then it's bedtime.

It doesn't leave much time for blogging. :) But I am busy and productive, and dead-tired by the end of the day.

Grass pollen season has started, with a whole new set of symptoms--including a constant sinus headache and an occasional mild cough with a heavy-chested feeling and tightness in the throat (and here I thought I didn't have asthma any more). But at least it doesn't seem to give me the all-over body aches, the fatigue isn't quite as debilitating, and the mood swings aren't as bad as they were with the maple pollen. It's quite fascinating to me how the same body can respond so differently to different allergens.

The kids are feeling quite a bit better. Baby E, after screaming all morning and being fussy all day for the better part of 3 weeks, is back to her cheerful self again.

Well, I'm off to bed now. It's time to get up in about 7 hours, so I'm late to bed already. I'll try to post pictures of the fabulous Mother's Day gift the girls made for me later.

Sad

Just in the last couple of weeks, I got back in touch with a dear friend I'd been close to since my teens. We hadn't kept in touch for the last few years, and it was wonderful to hear her voice again.

We talked a lot on the phone several times recently, picking up right where we left off and enjoying each other's company just as we always had. We were supposed to get together this week, but we ended up needing to reschedule for next week.

I got a phone call this evening to tell me that my friend's husband died last night in a very tragic, sudden and wrenching way.

It's such a shock, and so painful. I hurt for her.

I haven't talked to her yet. I left a message saying that I am praying for her and that I love her. I told her to please feel free to call any time of the day or night, and to let me know if there's anything at all that I can do.

I hope she'll call when she feels ready.

I hope I can be of some comfort and support to her, somehow.

Allergist Redux

We are going to be seeing one of our previous allergists again soon, probably the first one (long story, but getting a copy of the records and his notes was extremely helpful). He wants to see my records of Baby E's reactions and surrounding circumstances and do another round of testing for the one-year follow-up.

Also, he feels that being on Zantac, as she was for the last round of tests (the ones that were negative), could affect the test results. So this time she'll be off the Zantac as well as other antihistamines for at least a week before testing.

I'm going to ask if he'd be willing to consider doing prick-to-prick testing instead of using standardized extracts for the fruits and vegetables, since that's supposed to be much more reliable for many non-top-8 foods.

If after all that he still feels it's inconclusive that Baby E's reactions are really caused by these specific foods, I plan to ask if an in-office food challenge would be appropriate.

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None of her reactions have been life-threatening, so if the allergist and pediatrician agree (the pediatrician is a definite believer in E's allergies, and is very conservative and cautious in his approach to dealing with them) it seems as though a controlled in-office challenge may be an acceptable risk.

If Baby E eats corn or one of her other problem foods and has no reaction, we can assume that something else is causing the symptoms (maybe something that just happens to be in almost everything that contains corn :) ) or that she has outgrown the issue, or that her issues are dose-related delayed reactions. Any of those results would make life dramatically easier.

If Baby E has a clear, significant reaction, then having an allergist convinced and being able to point to the challenge will be helpful in many ways. For one thing, it would hopefully put a stop to a lot of the crazy-making. The allergist would become a huge advocate for getting the accommodations Baby E needs. And it would probably be a lot more convincing to doctors. If she is going to have a bad reaction, it would be much better to do it in a controlled clinical environment with someone right there who could handle it.

I really can't blame well-trained professionals for questioning a parent's perception of a child's food reactions in an environment where misunderstanding of allergies and intolerances is rampant. I've rather frequently had parents tell me their child is allergic to milk because they threw up once after eating ice cream and they've never given their child a dairy product since, or that sleepiness or gassiness after eating a specific food must be an allergy, or that their child is allergic to a medicine because they experienced a standard side-effect of that medication. No wonder doctors roll their eyes when I say that I think Baby E reacts to calcium citrate grown on corn.

Another possibility would be that a food challenge would show us that Baby E's reactions to larger amounts of pure corn are no more serious than her reactions to tiny amounts of corn derivatives. Even if we verify that she does react to both the derivatives and the corn itself, knowing that she reacts the same no matter what the amount or type of corn product would be huge. We would no longer have to be quite so cautious. We wouldn't be so afraid.

Right now we tend to think that if her reactions to things like calcium citrate with no detectable corn protein in them are that bad, eating a corn chip might kill her. Living in fear is not fun, and the extreme level of caution we're currently taking is certainly something we would rather not do if it's not necessary. We'd still try to avoid the foods if there was any kind of allergic reaction, of course, but we would be able to relax a bit about things like being in places where corn chips were being served.

Either the first or the last option would make our lives significantly easier and less stressful, that's for sure.

Dermatology and Dermatographism

[Note: It took me a week to write this post during moments snatched at the computer. Please excuse the length and possible disjointedness. :) ]

Last Thursday, on Baby E's 21-month birthday, we went to the dermatologist. Sis J came along as an extra pair of hands and ears, which was immensely helpful.

I took along all my pictures of E's rashes, but she didn't have a rash at the time. I think it's been at least a couple of weeks since she had one.

Unfortunately, even with my best efforts, none of the rashes have really showed up that well in photos. So I tried to describe how they were redder, brighter, more noticeable, etc. in real life than in the photos.

I also described the circumstances in which the rashes (if that's what they are) usually appear, and gave a history of Baby E's health and her other medical conditions that have been verified.

I explained that the rashes and other symptoms seem to be connected to certain foods, but that (while the pediatrician, GI specialist and nutritionist all seem to think the foods are causing the reactions) the allergists we've seen don't seem to feel they are the result of food allergies. So that we don't really know what to think.

The GI specialist thought we should consult a dermatologist and referred us to this one, so there we were.

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We started out talking to the medical assistant, a young doctor with such a connected and caring demeanor that I initially thought she was a nurse. She took a detailed history, listened carefully, and asked good questions. I explained that we were there to hopefully get some insight into what Baby E's rashes were--whether they were eczema, hives, some kind of histamine sensitivity, or something else altogether.

The young doctor looked at the photos, listened to my description of the rashes and the circumstances surrounding them (that they usually happen after consuming certain foods, and usually happen in conjunction with other symptoms like itching, throat discomfort, slight facial swelling, diarrhea, stomach pain, etc.)

"They definitely look like hives to me, with what you describe," she said. "It sounds like she's getting hives internally, too, and that can cause the cramping and diarrhea."

Then she went out and gave the summary to the dermatologist.

He came in and looked at Baby E, ran a capped pen down her back and said that she "definitely has dermographism" (a.k.a. dermatographism), said that she certainly does not have eczema (which is what the allergist had diagnosed her with) or look like a child who has had eczema (no dry skin).

He glanced briefly at the photos I had brought, asked questions which I had a hard time answering without rambling (and my answers seemed mostly futile anyway, since he seemed to interrupt after about half a sentence, often to tell me why my answer was irrelevant or didn't make sense). The more flustered and frustrated I got, the more poorly I communicated, I'm sure. I have enough trouble staying on track, concise and to-the-point in a conversation anyway, and stress makes it much worse.

He said that Baby 's skin looked perfect and healthy, questioned why we were even there as it seemed rather pointless to him, and said that he didn't think her rashes were severe and that they were probably just random, not connected to food or anything we're doing at all.

I also, into the bargain, got an interesting lecture about why it's impossible for anything in the mother's diet to affect a breastfed baby and how "that has all been completely debunked, and there's no evidence whatsoever to support it."

When I offered to bring Baby E in for a double-blind placebo-controlled food challenge, he said that wasn't his area of expertise, of course. And when I tried to explain that the rashes almost always happen in conjunction with GI symptoms, he said that GI allergies weren't his area of expertise, either. Fair enough, I guess.

His matter of greatest concern was educating me about the terrible things that happen to children whose mothers needlessly restrict their diets. He told me about all the children he sees who are horribly ill because their mothers needlessly restricted their diets, and all the frightening diseases and conditions they have.

He went on about this very emphatically, for what seemed like a long time. Even though he never actually asked (or let me explain) what Baby E is or isn't eating. Never mind that Baby E is perfectly healthy and happy as long as we stay away from the foods that turn her into a screaming, itching, sleepless, antisocial, miserable, pain-filled, lethargic, diarrhea-tormented creature completely different from her normal self.

Never mind that she's gaining weight well and growing normally (much better with the restricted diet, actually), and that the GI specialist, nutritionist and pediatrician all agree that she's doing just fine on our from-scratch carefully-balanced diet of whole grains, organic fruits and vegetables, and farm-direct additive-free meat.

Because, you know, all those bleached, enriched, prepackaged, corn-syrup-laden foods we're not eating because they contain corn and soy would make her so much healthier. Of course eating a diet based on corn, wheat with all the vitamins and fiber removed, white rice and deep-fried potatoes day in and day out (like most Americans) is so much more well-rounded than eating a variety of whole grains and other starches like spaghetti squash, quinoa, buckwheat, spelt, rye, barley, amaranth, yucca root, fresh raw water chestnuts, brown rice, a variety of unusual fruits and vegetables, and the dozens of other nutrient-rich options that don't fit into the standard American diet.

I wanted to ask how she could absorb much nutritional value from a food that gives her diarrhea and other GI symptoms, anyway. But I didn't. By that point I just wanted to get out of there.

We had accomplished what I'd gone for, anyway: we'd determined that the dermatologist didn't think the rashes were of concern, thought E had dermographism, and didn't think there was anything else significant going on. So I thanked him and we left.

I had asked a couple of questions, including whether dermographism would result in rashes evenly distributed over both cheeks when nothing had touched them, repeatedly 15 minutes after eating a particular food, in combination with GI symptoms and generalized itching. He didn't really answer that except to say that GI allergies weren't his area of expertise.

I also asked whether dermographism was consistent with negative results on all but 8 of the several dozen items we tested for with skin-prick testing. He said no, it wasn't really. If the positives were the result of dermographism then all the tests should have been positive, including the negative control.

At least I didn't break down until we got out of the office. I was so rattled by his insistence that I was imagining correlations where none exist, and potentially harming my daughter by needlessly limiting her diet. When I get that type of response from a doctor who didn't even bother to ask questions (or listen to the answers to the questions he did ask) before making such assumptions, it makes me feel crazy. I feel frustrated with myself for not communicating better and making the doctor understand. I feel frustrated with the doctor for not listening or communicating better. I feel stupid and ridiculous.

I question myself and my perceptions about life enough in general anyway, and I have a lot of respect for doctors and their knowledge. When a doctor responds this way, I come out of the appointment feeling like a terrible mother who did a horrible job communicating in the appointment. I hate feeling like doctors think I'm some kind of crazy munchausen mother who is just overreacting to the normal variations of a normal child and choosing an extremely difficult lifestyle because I somehow want to live this way.

I come out of an appointment like that wondering if maybe I should just go home and feed Baby E corn chips to see whether I'm really imagining it and drawing connections where they don't exist. Or if maybe the absence of reactions isn't worth the price we pay. Or if maybe I'm just a terrible mother not to have this all figured out and be handling it better.

I suppose it IS possible that it is just coincidence that Baby E can go weeks without a reaction, rash or diarrhea and then it just happens that when she eats a food that turns out to have a corn derivative she gets all those miserable symptoms all at once, just randomly happening to coincide with the consumption of the food. I do believe it's likely that some of the symptoms don't have identifiable causes. Some may even be random.

I'm sure there are times when I've blamed a reflux flare-up, a virus or some random occurrence on food, when food wasn't the cause. Corn is so prevalent that I could probably find some way Baby E may have been exposed to it at any given moment. I'm very aware of that, and try to be careful about it and not make assumptions. So much so that I've later ended up feeling stupid not to realize sooner that Baby E was having a reaction rather than just some odd random set of symptoms.

That's one of the reasons why, if it's not a super-bad reaction, I try to test things at least two or three times and carefully document the symptoms and circumstances each time, to see a consistent repeatable pattern before I conclude that the food is causing the symptoms. But I guess it's possible that she could get the same symptoms within the same time frame three times in a row after eating the same food, and it could actually be a coincidence. It seems unlikely to me, but I suppose it could happen.

Later that evening, I called the dermatologist's office. I wanted to apologize for interrupting him and being disjointed during the appointment, and also I wanted to make sure he knew that we were working with a nutritionist, GI specialist and pediatrician to get the healthiest most well-rounded diet possible for Baby E, and that they all felt she was healthy and thriving. I also wanted him to know that we were attempting to introduce new or suspect foods frequently (pretty much on a weekly basis).

He was gracious and friendly on the phone, and it made me feel a bit better to follow up that way.

I also had some questions I hadn't gotten to ask during the appointment. But when he started off about the danger of dietary restrictions again (and how he was glad we weren't doing _______, but it was really bad when _______) I got flustered again, said something agreeable and non-committal, and ended the conversation.

The next day I called the appointment line to ask if it was possible for me to e-mail my questions, since I communicate so much better in writing. They said no, but a nurse wrote down the questions. I still forgot at least one thing I'd meant to ask, but I was able to communicate more clearly and concisely.

A little while later the medical assistant (the doctor who had taken the history before the dermatologist came in) called. She was able to answer most of my questions.

Can dermographism cause generalized itching, and itching of the ears/nose/throat, as well as itching localized at the rash? Yes.

Is it histamine-regulated? Are antihistamines effective to combat it? Yes, certainly.

Can it vary considerably, or come and go? For instance, when Baby E played with the Crayola colored pencils my first thought was that the welts were caused by dermographism. When I took a very similar blunt object and brushed it against her skin several times right next to the wheals she had, it did raise slight red marks. But the marks were much smaller and lighter and faded within 15 minutes or so, whereas the wheals from the colored pencils were much more dramatic and lasted for hours.

Also, Baby E frequently rubs things like crackers and crispy cereal vigorously on her cheeks with no reaction whatsoever, while at other times (seemingly connected to eating specific foods) she will get a rash on both cheeks that appears quickly and dramatically when nothing has even touched her face. Dermographism can vary, and the wheals may be different sizes at different times or may be worse on some parts of the body than on others. (Obviously, that didn't really answer my question.)

Would dermographism cause an even, solid, scaly rash on both cheeks rather than wheals specifically where something touched or rubbed her skin? Well, I'm not sure, Dermographism can vary.

Can demographism cause GI symptoms like diarrhea and stomach pain? Not usually. It is possible that she actually is getting hives. We can't diagnose that without seeing her when she has the rash, especially since your photos were kind of blurry.

We have had other doctors suggest that Baby E might have some kind of histamine sensitivity, in which she reacts more strongly to much smaller amounts of histamine than most people would. Is that a possibility? That's what dermographism is.

What I didn't ask, and would have liked to (but wouldn't have been quite sure how to word it in brief) was this:

We know that Baby E has issues with reflux, aspiration, and some kind of metabolic or enzyme issue with breaking down certain sugars in foods. We know that certain foods consistently cause GI symptoms.

The dermatologist mentioned that things like fevers and viruses--anything that stimulates the immune system--are the most common causes of hives. Could the other, non-allergy conditions that cause Baby E's discomfort be stimulating her immune system or releasing histamine in such a way that she is getting rashes and itching simply as a reaction to those conditions or from realted symptoms like diarrhea?

That seems as though it might actually make some sense as to why she gets allergy-like symptoms after consuming certain foods even if they actually turn out to not be true allergies. And, that would explain many of the reactions we've been unable to pinpoint.

An extreme sensitivity to histamines may also explain why Baby E seems to get mild to moderate reactions immediately after nursing whenever I'm having a clear allergic reaction to something like dust mites. Could histamines (or eosiniphils) in my milk be somehow affecting Baby E? This PubMed case study summary about an infant who experienced an anaphylactoid reaction after nursing from a mother who was having an anaphylactic allergic reaction seems to support such a theory.

I really don't understand all this, and I wish I had someone to explain it to me.

I certainly don't doubt that Baby E has dermographism. I've commented a number of times before about how she sometimes gets red marks from something as simple as the pattern on the bottom of the bathtub, or being gently picked up. Clothing often irritates her, and she'll get red marks or a slight rash where a tag or seam rubs her skin.

But the redness and any wheals she gets from that sort of thing are patently obvious as a contact reaction. For example, yesterday Baby E fell asleep on a crocheted blanket. When she woke up, she had something that looked exactly like fairly large hives. They lasted for an hour or so. But they didn't seem to bother her much if at all, and they were on only one cheek--in the exact pattern of the blanket, and only in the places where the blanket had been pressing on her skin for the past hour.

But if all her reactions are caused by dermographism, why are we seemingly able to prevent them for weeks at a time simply by avoiding specific foods? Why do they appear suddenly, evenly distributed on both cheeks, when nothing has touched her cheeks in the last 30 minutes or more? Why would they repeat themselves again after eating the same food--a food that, when researched, turns out to contain corn or to have caused similar reactions in other people on the Avoiding Corn Forum?

Why would she have had no wheal or flare whatsoever to the negative control and most of the allergens tested, while having positive results on the skin-prick test only to foods which seem to give her problems in subsequent trials? Why do the red marks from pressure or abrasion look and behave so differently from the ones that appear in correlation with specific foods? Why? Why? Why?

Someday it would be nice not to have more questions than answers.

I'm here

Sorry blogging has been so light. Baby E has been very fussy and not feeling well the last few weeks, as have the older girls.

Baby E just finished nursing and is now flailing and fussing in my arms, pushing my hands away and hitting me, but crying harder when I put her down, and AJ and M&M are crying and arguing about something or other, so that's all for now.

AJ On Pain

Mom, my foot hurts. It feels as if a sword has gone through it.

What?

It feels as though I'm treading on knives when I walk, but I'm not. My foot just really hurts.

Art reflects life?

AJ: I'm drawing an angry father butterfly.

Really? Why an angry father butterfly?

So he can scold his baby caterpillar.

But why should he scold the baby caterpillar?

Because she took his computer without asking.

So it's not a virus

Having had allergy testing done last year is giving me huge insights into my "fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue" flare-ups and the "colds" that last for weeks.

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The last two or three weeks have been rather miserable. I would have blamed it on something nebulous, but then I realized: The maple trees in the back yard and the birch tree in the front yard were blooming. Yesterday I read in the newspaper that the period spanning the end of April and beginning of May is when tree pollen in our area reaches its all-time high for the year.

We got to go to the coast with the Malamute Rescuer family this weekend. We had such a wonderful time, and I felt great all weekend. Now that we're back home, I feel tired, grumpy and achy again, and my "cold" is back. Even though I got approximately the same amount of sleep last night as I've been getting all weekend, I slept restlessly and feel much more tired than I did waking up at the beach.

Tree pollen is winding down for the year, though. We should have a few weeks' reprieve before the grass pollen kicks in. Apparently our part of the country boasts the highest grass pollen counts in the USA--last year they were over 1,000 ppm (200 is considered very high) in a measurement taken within a half-hour or so of us.

When I had the allergy testing done, they said, "No wonder you don't notice much variation in symptoms from one season to the next. You react to allergens in every season!"

At least it's nice to know what's causing it. I'm seriously considering looking into finding a non-drowsy antihistamine or trying allergy shots.

We had a marvelous time at the beach. More on that later. Right now I have to get the kids ready for school and call the shellfish hotline to find out if it's safe to cook and eat the fresh live mussels we picked up on the beach (for DH and the older kids, anyway).

That's how you count.

DH and Baby E just finished reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and are flipping through the pages counting things:

DH: One, two, three

Baby E: Four!

DH: Five, six

Baby E: Sevvven, eight, nyen, tenn, apple, buh-nanna, pear.

Such suffering

AJ, came to me this morning, crying and speaking in mournful tones:

M&M has caused me so much sorrow this morning . . . she won't share and give me the doll clothes I want. That makes me so sorrowful. She gave me three, but I wanted four. I wanted us each to have four, but she kept five and only gave me three. But then when I cried she gave me another one.

But we couldn't find the doll stands. We'll never get to use the doll stands again; I'm so sad, because we can't find them and now we'll never, ever have them.

So that's why I'm so sad this morning. M&M caused me sorrow.

AJ cries dramatically and long over her little heartbreaks. Often a grinning M&M stands next to her and says in brightly cheerful tones:

AJ is crying, and I'm sad too. But I'm being sad in my heart.

Baby E's babies

Baby E was 21 months old yesterday. She really doesn't seem like a baby any more. She says so many words and phrases, engages in imaginative play, has tea parties, desperately wants to read and write, and generally tries to do everything she sees anyone else do.

Baby E takes great care of her dollies. She'll get one and carry it around, calling it "Baby . . . my baby." She loves to feed them, read books to them, and rock them.

The cutest thing is watching her tuck one of her babies into bed. She'll take off hats and/or clothes, put a pillow in the toy crib, lay the doll carefully on the pillow, cover it tenderly with a blanket, and slowly pull the blanket up around the doll's neck and tuck it in.

She leans over the crib with a loving expression on her face, whispers "uhd-night, uv-oo" to the doll. Then she hugs and kisses it softly. After that she leans back slightly with one hand on her baby and one finger before her lips, saying "shhh . . . seep." Then she leans forward, adjusts the covers, stares into the doll's face and says, "uv-oo . . . shhhh . . . night," and kisses it again.

She'll sit there leaning over the doll's crib for a long time, just looking into its face the way a new parent watches an infant sleep. Every now and then she'll talk to it in soothing tones or hug and kiss her baby.

It melts my heart every time.

Babies in Pockets

For all those people who keep coming to my blog by searching the phrase, "What do you call a baby kangaroo," here's the answer:

A baby kangaroo is called a joey. However, the term is not specific to infant kangaroos. All marsupial babies are called joeys, so a baby opossum, koala or sugar glider goes by the same name.

Story Time

As we were eating lunch, the girls started telling silly stories. It's fascinating to me how AJ's stories have a flow and a certain order and format to them, while M&M's are almost musical . . . she's more interested in the sound and cadence of the words than necessarily in the sense of the story. That is so true to their personalities.

After the first round or two of stories and giggles, I decided I'd better get out the laptop and document some of their creations.

I wrote the stories down exactly as they told them, with no suggestions or corrections.

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Okay, AJ, now I'm ready. You can start telling your story.

Once upon a time, there lived a tomato. She lived in a beautiful house with couches with flowers of green and blue.

And one day there came along a stranger, who said, "I am the mailman, who has come to deliver you a letter."

So Tomato took the letter and read it, and realized it was from some upside-down ketchup.

He had written, "Dear Tomato. Please fetch me a few tomatoes so I can make myself a wife. Love, The Upside-Down Ketchup."

[Giggle] Wasn't the letter silly?

And so, after she had read the letter, the tomato said, "Upside-Down Ketchup?" [I wish I could show you AJ's quizzical expression, with one eyebrow raised, and then the hands-up shrug that followed.]

And then, after that she had her lunch. And after her lunch she took a nap. And after her nap she called her husband home and ate dinner.

Her husband, which was another tomato . . . I mean, a potato . . . said, [insert deep voice] "I think I'll mow the lawn tonight, and then I'll grow a bit of corn."

And so, after the husband had mowed the lawn and planted a bit of corn, he said [deep voice again], "I think I'll go to sleep now." And so he did, and so did the wife.

The next morning, they woke up to find that the woman had a baby inside her tummy!

And so they waited, and waited, and at last the baby was ready to come out. And so, since he was a boy, they decided to name him John.

And they lived happily ever after.

The End.

Well, that was certainly an interesting story! Now what story would you like to tell, M&M?

One day there was a bowl. Its wife was some right-side-up ketchup. [Here M&M turns the ketchup bottle upright, accompanied by giggles] . . . Was some right-side-up ketchup.

I say, was some right-side-up ketchup. Upside-down ketchup, right-side-up ketchup. Right-side-up ketchup!

And it had a knife for its wife. And then the knife cut its wife.

The end.

No, wait, it was the husband! The right-side-up ketchup. [Hilarious laughter from all three kids.]

Well, that was some story! Baby E, would you like to tell a story?

No way! Eat!

Then M&M said,

Write, "Let's go outside." And it's a story from me, Okay Mom? M&M. That's what I want you to write. The end.